A meaningful Flow Chart

下面这个网站好有意思哦，我自己看了一直在那里不停的点头赞同。
http://www.oicq88.com/999/love3.htm
文章里面说到一句话：‘爱情是坚贞的也是最不可靠的东西’。哇，这句话我可是赞成到五体投地呀。看到所有的结论都是--痛苦+结束，这不仅让我怀疑爱情对人的重要性。难道人就真得不能没有爱情吗？有了爱情的那些认真的都会“痛苦+结束”吗？

这些种种的怀疑和猜测，加上看见种种没有结局的爱情的我对爱情这回事。。。看不开呀。不是因为我悲观，换做是你的话，你也不能会乐观到哪里去的。一次的失败就已经够痛苦的了，难道我还要在伤口洒盐吗？和另一半手牵着手走在街上的画面对我来说只是一场梦。现实生活里的我就连和同性的拍党一起出去玩并手牵着手的画面已经算是很珍贵的了，更何况是与异性。

我的生活里面永远都只有我自己。遇到什么困难悲伤，除了祷告求主帮助外我还是自己一个人。在我的字典里，永远没有比朋友更深的‘朋友’。就算有的话也只是在我的梦里。在梦里多自由，想干什么就干什么；我甚至很享受在梦里与力宏手牵着手逛街的画面。有时梦给人的感觉好真实，虽然醒来后会有小小的失落，但无可否认的是--那种甜甜的感觉是不会被破坏的。

只有耶稣对我们的爱是真实的。他对我们的爱是永不改变的。为什么我们渴望得到人的爱而不去接受主对我们的爱呢？那种爱世人无法给的，只有他能够。

Wireless....Hurray!!!!

I cant believe i'm using wireless to online now here in LCCT. Wahahaha, first time ler. Fortunately i've got my battery charged. Wahaha, cant believe it. Although it's kindda slow la, but i still think it's great. It's my first time using wireless ler!!! Somemore it's after my comp went into hospital. I just so love it after it was released from the 'Hospital" ler....hehehe....nothing to do now ler so post my blog lo....hehehe....

So excited i'm going back home liao. I'll see Jocelyn in 5 hours time. I just cant wait for that. I miss her soooo much. I miss her voice....I miss every part of her....Hurray....I'm so happy n excited now although i din have enough sleep last nite (for 3 hours nia o)....hahaha

Busy and Sick week

Busy is the word that i'm telling everyone around me. There are endless reports and assignments for me to hand in before i'm off for my break. Although it sounds nice, but during the break i won't be free as well. I'll have to study for my cell met whereby i'm always lost in the lec and i've to think of the self design experiment that will happen after the break....HUH....everything just come and come and come. I just don't even have time to breath.

I've been spending my whole weekend with my sis whole family. Of coz with my dearest Jocelyn as well. She's super cute. When she call me, i feel like melting. Her tiny voice was sooo cute and it sounds nice. So happy to see her again. Well, i'm getting a little bit of flu and some sore throat. Because there's one morning we brought her to the hotel swimming pool. Fortunately she din get sick, but her aunty here get sick. Hahaha...which mean i'm even weaker than her. Well, actually it's good for me to sick as well coz it's the time for me to change my internal immune system as well.

This weekend, i'll be heading to my hometown again lo. I can't wait for that. But i'm starting to worry for the books and reports that i'm going to bring back. HUH!!!! Whatever i say now is reports, assignments and study. Started to feel stress up now. Stress up in my work and stress up in socializing with ppl. I just don't wanted to even talk to those who i knew so much. I started to have a very negative feeling whereby i feel that everyone is so so so different from the outside. They are just so unreal. I just don't know why tat i do not feel good in getting to know others. I feel good with myself. So i still prefer to keep everything myself and post it up here instead of writing out into my diary. Tired....

全身酸痛--muscle fatigue

哇，只要我动一动我的手就觉得好痛。前两天参加团契的营会，一到家就不省人事了四小时。这次的营会，或许只有两天一夜的关系，所以没有依依不舍。反而觉得于人的关系变淡了，应该和我玩在一块的反而不理我，而我也觉得好像没话和她说。难道我们的友谊就只是这么肤浅吗？或许她觉得不舒服吧，有或许她太忙了吧。这些我都不想多想。现在的我只知道我原来是没有朋友的！！！原来好像可以和每个人玩成一块的我只是我的表面，而其实大家是不喜欢我的。虽然大家都没有表现出来，但我有一颗敏感的心。你们没有表现出来的，我都看得见只是我不说而已。没关系啦，又不是第一次这样了。难道我是第一天认识他们吗？既然知道他们是这种人了，那我也不需要这么在意了。但，难道说不在意就会不在意吗？一个伤口愈合了总会留下伤疤的。

还好有一位温柔体贴的梅琴在一旁帮助我，鼓励我。不然我真的很难想象现在的我还会不会继续把欢乐带给大家。我一个人伤心流泪就好，不要连累别人。世界因爱发光！！！神爱世人，所以我也要学着把神的爱带给其他人。加油！！！虽然这种日子会很难熬，但有神与我同在我并不孤单也不害怕。我知道有一双手永远都在牵着我，带领着我。人不喜欢我没关系，神一定不会离弃我。

Tough reports

I've been facing a real big problem this sem. My lab partner (for one of my subject) are all sucks....this is the first time i've been using this harsh word to describe someone. But i can't help it, i just cannot control myself from calling them this. I thought i was the blurress person in the lab, who knows that there was someone blurrer than me!!!How can it be!!! The girl even ask me 'what have we done last week?'. WOW!!!!This was super 'cool'. She had been attend to the lab for two weeks and she do not know what had she been doing there in the lab for 3 hours time??? This is ridiculous. HUH...*cooling down*....whatever, just don't care for them. Fortunately we don't have to share our reports as well.

Yesterday i've been sitting in the computer lab for almost 6 hours just to figure out how to analyse and present the results into my lab report. Thank GOD that i had Patricia (a good helper) sitting beside me and helping me to analyse all the statements. It was GOD who arrange her to be at my side whenever i've been facing problem in my reports and stuff. I feel so thankful whenever i see her.

Last weeks i've been busy for the church stuff. That's the first time i feel that i was super busy and i was almost getting mad about everything. Even Jennifer was frightened by me. And for this week, there's a world's toughest report to be done and handed in on Monday. Sometimes i feel like i almost collapse, but whenever i see Jocelyn's pic in my handphone or even her voice calling me fron the other side of the phone, there will be a voice telling me that i had to set a good example for her refer when she grown up. She's my motivation for everything. And of course my mum is the one who motivates me as well. I swear to myself that i must graduate and get a nice job and let her had a better life to live. I just feel useless whenever i saw her suffering there all by herself.

Soo....have to get back and do my reports....or else....i don't even dare to think about it....Gambateh!!!

Tired again!!!!

This week is the most tiring week for me. The reason that causes me to get this tired is not because that i started to have lab reports and stuff to do and to pass up, but is because of the emmcf things. Tomorrow is the day where we promote our choir. I'm the class rep for the choir so i have to be the one who handling all these things. I was super exhausted. There's a lot of things that i do not know how to do but i can see that GOD is beside me. HE is always there helping me for everything. HE bring others to me and help me so that i won't be suffering all alone. Although i feel tired and exhausted, i still feel energetic and excited for everything i've been doing now. It's different from the exhaustion that i used to had last time.

Nothing is Complicated

One of my housemate wanted to move out from the house since her sister was moving back to their hometown. Then, she was suggesting another guy to move into her room and ask me whether i wanted to move or not. Well, i was lazy to move out as you know moving out require so so much of energy and time. It's so troublesome. Somemore i only have one more year left here. So i do not feel to move. However, another housemate of mine think another way. He said he do not want someone he don't know to move into the house. Does he means that he wanted to cover up the rental for the empty room all by himself??? I definitely wont share the rental with him.

Everything is just so simply. Just one go and one in and that's it. Why must he make it so complicated??? I just don't understand.

Stupid Line

I pay soooo much to this school and get a super damn slow connection. Somemore my timetable is like hell. Who have their break for 4 hours in between? Stupid. What i am so mad about is the internet connection now. It is super super slow!!! AARGH!!! I'm so so so so mad about this....

Back in my room (KL)

Time has been working so hard that it didn't even rest for a while. My 3 months holidays had become a history just like that. Now i have to accept a brand new year 2007 with my study here in Monash.

This holiday i have been through a lot of things. There are good and bad of course. Sometimes when i cool down myself and think back what i've done, i realize that i was such a bad tempered and rude girl. Besides that, i'm very good at covering up myself so that others won't know the inside of me. Sometimes i was impressed with myself bout that. When someone tells me that how rude i am, i was like poured with cold water all over. Only then i realize that i am rude. So, this time for me to get back here in KL is for me to change my attitude, change my temper, change my manner. I've got to train myself to be more patient expecially communicating.

It's been a long time since my last flight to KL by using MAS airline. Well, it seems ordinary. But this is my first time sitting on MAS airbus. This airbus was so so different from airasia airbus. This airbus is very long and wide inside where it have 8 seats per row. WOW!!! This is my first time for sitting in such a huge plan. Although i do feel a little air sick, but i do manage it well that i did not vomit out. It probably because that i'm stuck in the middle of people and make me feel dizzy.

HUH....2molo 12pm is my first class...better get ready for everything....

High tech hp

This is ridiculous! I'm using my hp 2 post my blog here! Cant believe tat this new N73 of mine was so 'powerful'. At first i was just try n c whether i got load d blogger page, n now i'm here posting my blog! Wow!

Well,i'm in kch now. Enjoyin my last few days of my holiday. It's kindda sad tat i cant meet up Sophia, but i still can meet up Jen n others. Last nite, my dear Yee Man had fly back 2 aus. I so hope 2 meet her up end of this year.

Haha, wat a good phone my dad buy me. Although it's kindda huge 2 hold in hand, d function is awsome! Muakzz my dear N73...lov ya!

Last day at home

I cant believe that the times flies sooo fast....It's like yesterday i've been telling my parents that i'm going back home and now i'm telling them that my flight is tomorrow....

It's been a tough and tiring and joyous holiday. Although there are too many things that happen which seems to be unsolved, at least i feel that everything had been going on smoothly. I was mentally tired but not physically. I feel that i'm having such a joyous time spending times with my beloved Jocelyn. She was such a cute girl (although she was kindda naughty). I'll definitely miss her when i get back there.

Today i just allocate my timetable. It seems ok whereby i do not have any crashes. But....i have too much break in between....3-4 hours per day....Oh No!!!So i think i must join the swimming club then i'll go swimming during my break times. Or maybe i can used that time to do my report and stuff....but i afraid that i'll get lazy and get online to download all the stupid stuff and watch....OH....watever...i must must must work hard...I wont let myself to fail anymore....i must fight.....

Happy Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day again....for me, this is just another ordinary day. I do not deny that i was very warm to have someone holding my hand or even just have the hand over my shoulders (where i use to feel super warm in a cold weather when the driver in China put his hand around my shoulders). I always thinks that this is the day where i'll get myself into more trouble. In my recent life, whoever i meet are those very popular ones (for guys i mean) so there's one time that i used to be answering others questions about one of my best friend in this peak time. So this time, i'd just keep everything to myself. I didn't attending church fellowship and didn't even go to sunday worship service. I know i cannot be stopping from all the meeting at church but i just cant help myself. I just don't want to go out and social with others. Moreover, i think that the fellowship is getting 'bigger' and 'bigger'. I just feel like it's hard for me even to squeeze into the crowd. I don't want anyone to recognize me or even notice my appearance, but i just started to questioning whether the purpose for the new crowd to get into the fellowship is for GOD sake or any other things else.

Whatever it is. What i wanted to say now is that....I'M IN LOVE AGAIN!!!!! HAHAHA :D This is kindda ridiculous right. Well, i don't have a real guy for me to love to so i'd have to love on someone that everybody love and shared together. There are a lot of guy i like in my life. Well, let me listed all out.

1) My dear Jesus Christ -- He is GOD one and only son....He came to the earth because of our sin...He sacrifice himself on the cross for all of us....He LOVE everyone including sinners....He is the son of GOD....He listen to every word that we pray....He guide us through a light and correct pathway....I Love Him....

2) Wang Lee Hom -- He is no only good looking but also talented in music as well....He get very serious in doing everything....He is such a nice person....I've been in love with him since i was 12 (wow!!!)

3) Bosco Wong -- He is a new TVB artist which i'm recently mad with. He is such a happy guy. The reason that i like him is because of his laughter (weird ha!!). Whenever he laugh, i'll laugh together with him (in front of the tv) as well. I just couldn't understand why but his laughter is so powerful that it affect the person sitting in front of the tv. Besides that, i get to know that he is good at cooking as well. This was the point that i make me get mad at him this much. Maybe no one knew who he was. There's a pic shown beside, that's him. But one thing i'm concern...i think he is a little bit skinny. He can gain somemore weight i think....then he'll be perfect!!!!!

That's what i mean by the guy where everyone loved and share. I'd rather spend my time with these guys than any other one else. All the guys out there are so realistic (for me), even more realistic than girl. Guys think with their eyes but girls thinks with their heart. I always keep all these words in my mind.

A Beautiful Girl Just Die Like That

There's was a shocking news i heard yesterday night at around 9pm after i come back from outside still chit-chatting with my frens. What i heard was that a female taiwanese star whom got an accident on saturday was rushed to hospital in a very very bad and serious condition whereby she was already in coma condition when she was sent to the hospital. I think a lot of people must have heard of this shocking news happened in taiwan. She was such a beautiful and nice girl. Although i do not know her very well, or haven even watch any of her series...but this was a very shocking news to me.

Life is just like that. It can be a continuous...It can be meaningful...It can be life without a purpose...It can be ended without any reason....LIFE IS JUST LIKE THAT...We cannot predict what will happen in the next second. But all we can do is that we must live a PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE...We must live for GOD's sake!!!

Life is precious
Life is gold
Life is most valueable things on earth

Tired....

These days my life have been full of challenge. I started to feel exhausted and tired. I'm tired of facing all the stupid thing. Some of the things which seems ridiculous had happen in my family. I'm tired of everything. I feel like running away. But, where can i go? Everywhere will be a problem for me if i run away just like that! There are some words deep down in my heart that i cannot tell people. It doesn't mean that i don't want to, but just don't know how to put them in words.

I'm tired not only because of life. I'm tired of relationship between man as well. I'm tired of love. It's hard to be alone, but at least you won't hurt yourself when you are alone. Well.... i'm just tired....may GOD give me enough strength to face all these thing.

Tough

I always like the phrase-- Life is mean to be tough. For me, i think that my life is getting tougher and tougher as i grown up. There's more problems and troubles popping out anywhere whenever and whatever i do. If it wasn't because of GOD, i won't be able to face all these challenge. It was GOD that always holding my hands and facing all these challenge with me. I've been facing so much troubles and problems to face this few months. All these things keep me occupied. All these things keep my emotion at the most intense state. I feel like never had enough sleep although i sleep almost 10 hours a days! It was all those troubles that i have to face that keeps my body and soul busy and tired. I'm tired of everything. Sometimes i would even think of quitting everything. Just stay where i am and do what i wanted to. But i'll never be alive if i did that. The earth won't stop rotating because of me. The whole universe won't stop just like that because of me. So, I MUST BE TOUGH!

Although my body feel tired, my soul are exhausted, i always remind myself that there's always that special SOMEONE by my side. I knew that HE is just standing besides me, always ready by my side and giving me a hand. I knew for all that HE has done to me. There might have some unsolved problem that i'm facing right now, i knew that HE will definitely make way. All i have to do is continue to trust in HIM. Thankyou GOD!

冬天...秋天

又看了一部韩剧--<你来自哪颗星>. 韩剧通常都是在秋天或是冬天拍摄的. 而每当男女主角在那寒冷的天气里依偎在一起甚至是抱在一起的时候, 那种感觉好温暖哦!!! 我每次看到这种剧情时心里都会有股暖流踊上来 ... 仿佛我就是那位女主角一样.

顿时, 我就开始想...还好我不是在那种有四季的国家出生, 不然我的秋冬天肯定很难过. 在那种冷冷的气候里, 不管你穿上多厚的衣服都不比人的体温来得暖和. 那种暖和和衣服带来的暖和是不同的. 衣服的暖和只会是在表面的, 而人的体温所带来的暖和是暖到心里去的. 这种暖和在我上次去江南的时候就已体会到了. 王师傅那庞大的手臂所带来的温暖是我言语上无法形容的也是我无法忘怀的. 那时的我突然觉得心里好空虚. 我甚至还渴望能够有一个胳臂就像王师傅的一样温暖, 那样搂着我一辈子. 当然, 至今的我还在等候那个属于我的胳臂出现....或许十年....或许二十年....更或许永远都不会出现...但是...有一个胳臂是我看不见的...而且它时时刻刻都在搂着我抱着我...那就是耶稣基督的胳臂.

人就是这样. 你没有的东西, 你就越渴望去拥有它. 有时还会不顾一切后果将它得到. 而我们往往忽略了已经有一位伟大的圣人为我们所做的一切过犯承受了所有的罪刑. 他就是那伟大的耶稣基督. 我们应该为我们的现状而感恩, 荣耀主的圣名!!!哈利路亚...

幕后花絮

每一次看了一部剧都会特地上望去找他们拍摄的幕后花絮
因为每次看那些NG片段都会让人笑到不行
当然，好笑是其次
最重要的是我发现每一位演员在拍那部剧的时候都是很用心的
当让整个剧组也有很大的功劳啦

看了那些幕后的制作花絮，有一点是无可否认的
那就是-演员们不为人知的一面。
在片场，他们（演员们）就像一个大家庭一样
大家都有同样的目标-那就是快快拍好，回家睡觉!
他们甚至是在片场过年过节
就连我们一般人最重视的生日也得在工作力度过
当然，现实一点说-他们牺牲了生日但他们的口袋可没牺牲到呀

看了那些幕后花絮
总觉得演员们好团结，感情好好噢!
或许他们在明争暗斗
但至少在那一杀那我觉得他们是很好的。
这个宣传效果还真不赖嘛！

其实我想说的就是
我好像都从来没有那种团接及合作的对象
或许不可以这样说
但我觉得，我们在一起的默契还没达到很理想的程度
我很希望有一天我也可以有一帮猪朋狗友
大家一起打打闹闹。

从小到大我说所认识的人一个一个的都会离我而去
或许大家都在因为自己的梦想而奋斗吧
我也应该好好的奋斗了。。。
那我还在这里干嘛！！！
联考还没准备好啦！！！

Super Handsome instructor!!!!

Haha....d guy stand beside me is d fitness first instructor la....hohoho....he is super handsome man....have a super fit body.....n kindda shy shy like that....hahah....he is cute.....

n yesterday my roomate was walkin around sunway pyramid....then, she saw someone who looks familiar to her....guess who she see....that's right...it's the guy that stand beside me....somemore with his girlfriend....wahahah.....then she call me up (i was at home)....then i fly to sunway pyramid....by cab....wahaha....then we follow this couple throughout the whole shopping mall...hehehe....that guy is a super super super gentleman ler.....he holds her gf hands tightly.....and in his eyes there's only her gf inside....he might have notice that there's two girls who keep on following them....but i think.....he didn't see us directly.....sooooo jealous when i see this pair of couple....and the most important thing is that....his gf is super super super pretty.....this couple was like the prince and princess in the story we used to listen to when we are young.....sooooo......there'll definitely a happy ending for this couple....wish them all the best!!!

原来他走了。。。

每一次看到一张臭脸就知道是他的脸。他那张脸就是好像每次都有人欠他钱一样的。但如果他心情好的时候，全世界好像都是美好的一样。这些就是他的‘招牌’啦！时间还过得真是快，一转眼几年就这样过去了。他也毕业了！而且走了。。。

我本以为他走了我应该、也不会有多余的感觉。但原来我一直在骗我自己！这几天常会有他的影子在我脑海里出现，唯一不同的是-他已经走了。虽然我知道要去哪里找他，但心里就是有一种莫名的空虚。就像那天星期天去教堂，明明就很多人。但我的视线就会很不经意的一直在找着他的影子。看不到他的背影，心里有莫名的空虚。这种现象是我解释不了的。

那天星期五明知道是最后一天看见他了，自己却宁愿在后面忙东忙西的。其实我根本就没有好忙的，自己心里只觉得好像好多东西做一样。就连他要我一起拍个照六年我都不愿！其实，我只是在逃避他。我只是不敢正视他。我怕如果我真的太在乎他的话，回家后的我心里只会更空虚寂寞。结果，回家后的我心里一点都不好过。我发现到-原来我对他来说一点都不重要。他们过后还有去farewell而在后面忙的我完全不知道有这种东西。苦了我带着一颗伤心失望的心情走回家。本以为他会问我为何没去，但那一夜我的电话没响过。我所有的泪水只有往肚里吞。

三天就这样过去了。。。一则sms也没有。。。或许他回到家后忙吧！这是我一直安慰我自己的话。原来，我永远都是透明的。。。永远都是被人忘记的那个。。。难道，我就不是人吗？难道，你们没发现到我的存在吗？难道，我是玻璃做的吗？难道，我就不会伤心吗？

Fitness First

it's been a week now since the day i left fitness first....i sooo sooo sooo miss there....miss everything there....miss every class there....miss every instructor there....super miss the toilet there....super miss the sauna there....miss the steam room there....miss the locker there.....everything and everything....

everytime when i'm free my mind will be fooling around the fitness centre.....this might because i'm having sooo much fun there.....during daytime when i'm super busy and rush for my homework.....all my tired and stress are released when i was there in the centre.....i just do not know why this bring such a big effect.....

today....i'm kindda free.....so....i suddenly soooo soooo sooo miss there.....i even start to refresh that the schedule of the classes today.....d handsome and cool instructor that will having class today....i just.....

in the future, i'll definitely join as member....but not now.....i've got whole pile of works n study waiting for me....i cant....i cannot let myself go there at least during this period of time....i'm addicted to it....more serious than a drug addictor.....