我们女人的往往会觉得10个男人里面9个都是爱面子的，而在男人的眼中女人往往都是小气爱撒娇的。到底谁对谁错呢？只有我们的创造者知道。
我是女人，所以也只能发表我个人-也就是女人的意见。一般来说，女人一定是比较难从情伤恢复的那个。但在我23年的生涯里面，我就遇到两个男人是花了好一段时间从情伤恢复，甚至是被伤得比女人还重的那种。这两个男人，一个跟我有很浓的血缘关系，另一个是曾经和我同住一个屋檐下的（不要乱想！！！我不是甩他的那个）。其实我没有很了解他们，但这两个人还真的是蛮令我对他们刮目相看的。在我的观念里面，男生一定不会为情所困，甚至不会被情所伤。这两个男生，不只为情所困，还被情所伤而且还是伤得很重的那种。这种现象我还以为只有女人才会有，原来这世上还有这种好男人啊！！！这两个男生，我真的很替他们可惜。虽然，无可否认，这两个男人唯一的共同点就是--他们的脾气都一样坏。我们女生应该最不能容忍的就是自己爱的男人脾气这么差的吧！或许谈恋爱的时候不会对你显现出他们真正的那一面，但事实是不能改变的。脾气不好就是脾气不好，DNA就是DNA，除非你想办法让他们的DNA mutate吧！不可能嘛！
不知道为什么，在这佳节期间遇到这种男人，突然感触良多。突然觉得，现在的世界好像女人比较挑也。应该是说，现在这个社会太败坏了，导致每个人都很自然的有自我保护的心态。现在你要我像以前一样敞开心胸和身边的人做朋友，我一定会跟你说：干嘛？？？但我从小到大就是这种人，我这种可以简称－孤庇，好听一点就是－自闭。和我认识就的人如果好一段时间没见到我一定会认为我变了，但其实我只是在默默的观察看这么久不见的你还是不是我从前认识的那个。
现在的我很用力的提醒我自己，如果要进入一段感情一定要想情楚。一旦我进入一段感情，我希望是永久的。我的心脏应该受不了那种分手的刺激吧！老实说，我幼小的心灵还真的是有情伤的伤疤也。哈哈～～～
星期一, 1月 19, 2009
What's going on???
What is going on with this earth??? What is going on with my family??? What is going on with the air??? What is going on with all the virus??? Are they mutated??? Are they genetically modified??? Are they the leftover of the aliens so that they can attack human and prtect the earth??? What is that exactly going on???
Someone please answer me!!! I believe that even GOD don't have the answer to that. I'm not cursing anyone or blaming anyone (or GOD) for what's happening with all of my beloved ones around me, i'm just....loosing direction. I feel useless... I had no idea what i can do in this far far away land. I so regret that i take this job that i need to leave home forever....I so regret that I leave the home behind without anyone cleaning it and that's the main problem that what is happening now. I feel like wanted to take the flight back now to make my home stay at least free of any bacteria or viruses or fungi or anything that i cant see with my eyes....Just for at least a week....This is the first time ever in my life that i feel begging with those creatures that i couldn't see with my naked eyes, i feel wanted to shout to them, telling them leave all my family alone. Just stop attacking them like the Palestinean. I'd rather all of you just came to me. Please....
Please....anyone....anything....just give me some guidance....GOD!!! I know i shouldn't be shouting at you while i had already standing at the end of the cliff, but i just loosing my direction. I had no idea what i could do now. Everything is beyond humans power, everything is onto you now my Lord. Please....this will be my last shout to You....Please....show me the way....tell me what should i do....guide me.....You are the light of my foot, the light of my pathway....Please....
Someone please answer me!!! I believe that even GOD don't have the answer to that. I'm not cursing anyone or blaming anyone (or GOD) for what's happening with all of my beloved ones around me, i'm just....loosing direction. I feel useless... I had no idea what i can do in this far far away land. I so regret that i take this job that i need to leave home forever....I so regret that I leave the home behind without anyone cleaning it and that's the main problem that what is happening now. I feel like wanted to take the flight back now to make my home stay at least free of any bacteria or viruses or fungi or anything that i cant see with my eyes....Just for at least a week....This is the first time ever in my life that i feel begging with those creatures that i couldn't see with my naked eyes, i feel wanted to shout to them, telling them leave all my family alone. Just stop attacking them like the Palestinean. I'd rather all of you just came to me. Please....
Please....anyone....anything....just give me some guidance....GOD!!! I know i shouldn't be shouting at you while i had already standing at the end of the cliff, but i just loosing my direction. I had no idea what i could do now. Everything is beyond humans power, everything is onto you now my Lord. Please....this will be my last shout to You....Please....show me the way....tell me what should i do....guide me.....You are the light of my foot, the light of my pathway....Please....
星期日, 1月 18, 2009
Leave Me Alone!!!
至从那天在商场遇到我认识的人后，这样的时间陆陆续续的出现。今天，就和平时一样，到教堂去报到。怎知，这个古晋说大还真是不大，说它小又不对，偏偏我就是会遇见我认识的人。在这里能够遇见我认识的人，那个percentage真的是少之又少。我遇到的这个人，虽然她是很好的一个人，我就是不能把她列入‘朋友’的名单里面。我曾经很懊恼为什么我会这样，其实就只有一个原因：水和火是永远不能溶合在一起的。不是说我和她有什么深仇大恨，又或则是她曾经得罪我或我做了亏欠她的事，我和她就是那种怎样都不可能变成朋友的人。我们俩只会见到面嘘寒问暖几句然后就走人的那种。不晓得多久之前我曾经和一个知己分享过这件事，在和她分享的当儿我才发现问题的存在。原来，一直以来我和这个人不能变朋友（就是那种聊得来的）的原因，其实很简单。因为这个人是个超级世界无敌的Top Student。不只是读书厉害，她所作的每件事出来的结果都是完美的，人际关系更是超级世界无敌的广。要我跟这种人打交道简直就是要了我的命一样，因为我是个自卑的人。在这种人的面前我很难会台得起头，在这种人的身边我只会拚了命的缩进我的壳。我会觉得，站在这种人的身边全世界肯定会拿我跟她来比较一样。
咳。。。没用的我呀！今天主日崇拜一完，我就还赶什么一样，立刻走人。虽然我知道，我不可能可以躲一世，但至少让我准备好自己，让我的心思意念都成熟时再打算。
咳。。。没用的我呀！今天主日崇拜一完，我就还赶什么一样，立刻走人。虽然我知道，我不可能可以躲一世，但至少让我准备好自己，让我的心思意念都成熟时再打算。
星期五, 1月 16, 2009
The Happiest Day since....
These two day, my boss went for travelling. This means that the environment in the office will change from 'library' to a normal office. Since yesterday i was playing around whole day with the staff, online chatting, playing internet games....i just do whatever it was illegal to be done in the office when our boss was in. This two days, i personally thinks that the staff in the office gets along so well. We get to know each other more than before (at least for the last one month since the first day i put my steps in it).
Today, while we were having some talks on the outfit, one of the staff suggested that we could go for shopping together after work. Me, which do not had anything going on after work, agreed without any hesitation. Even today, i finish up my Prison Break marathon in the office. CAN YOU BELIEvE that!!! But anyway, i've already reach the last episode, so i'm just finish up the last episode there in the office. WOW!!! What a great day i had!!! I got paid even i did watch Prison Break! How good is that!!! Somemore i help one of the staff to mark her student work book which i joke around said that i'm willing to help her do that work if she jus pay me RM10 for just helping her to mark one whole pile of the workbook of her students and she was just so funny that she agreed. But i think she might just be kidding. But, i don't mind if she pay me for that, that one of the work which i wont even need to use my brain. I just need to move my finger a bit and than i got the money!!! How great was that!!!! And she even suggested me that i could take up the part time job as the teacher in her sch as well. This one i'm still thinking whether to do it or not coz the job is every satuday afternoon and i've buy my ticket back home every month. So....
Well, actually, what i wanted to say here is... It had been long since the last day i laugh out loud. It was these two days that i ever had the chance to laugh out loud since the day i came here for my job. I just feel....GREAT!!! Though i'm kindda sad that i get such a low pay for my job, but i thank GOD for letting me to have all the superb staff that money cant buy....Thank GOD that though i had a not so perfect boss, I had a very perfect and caring head who is a superb guy and willing to guide me through everythin....Thank GOD that i got this job which i could see that i'll be able to learn a lot from the project which will be started next month....
All this just not happen as coincidence. But GOD who answered my prayer.
I love you GOD more than any living things on this earth!!!
Today, while we were having some talks on the outfit, one of the staff suggested that we could go for shopping together after work. Me, which do not had anything going on after work, agreed without any hesitation. Even today, i finish up my Prison Break marathon in the office. CAN YOU BELIEvE that!!! But anyway, i've already reach the last episode, so i'm just finish up the last episode there in the office. WOW!!! What a great day i had!!! I got paid even i did watch Prison Break! How good is that!!! Somemore i help one of the staff to mark her student work book which i joke around said that i'm willing to help her do that work if she jus pay me RM10 for just helping her to mark one whole pile of the workbook of her students and she was just so funny that she agreed. But i think she might just be kidding. But, i don't mind if she pay me for that, that one of the work which i wont even need to use my brain. I just need to move my finger a bit and than i got the money!!! How great was that!!!! And she even suggested me that i could take up the part time job as the teacher in her sch as well. This one i'm still thinking whether to do it or not coz the job is every satuday afternoon and i've buy my ticket back home every month. So....
Well, actually, what i wanted to say here is... It had been long since the last day i laugh out loud. It was these two days that i ever had the chance to laugh out loud since the day i came here for my job. I just feel....GREAT!!! Though i'm kindda sad that i get such a low pay for my job, but i thank GOD for letting me to have all the superb staff that money cant buy....Thank GOD that though i had a not so perfect boss, I had a very perfect and caring head who is a superb guy and willing to guide me through everythin....Thank GOD that i got this job which i could see that i'll be able to learn a lot from the project which will be started next month....
All this just not happen as coincidence. But GOD who answered my prayer.
I love you GOD more than any living things on this earth!!!
星期一, 1月 05, 2009
Year 2009
Happy Year 2009!!! Hahaha... I'm wondering how are everyone that i know spend the last minutes of 2008. As for me, my only partner of my life -NEC is taking me through the times. To be honest, on the 1st day of 2009, once i open my eyes in the morning, i was kindda like stare at all the things around me to make sure everything was still on their exact place. I was like pulling up my ears to listen carefully for any unfamiliar sounds out there. All this stupidness of me end up to discover nothing but laughing to myself. Please forgive me for all the stupid things i had said just now. This was because recently i was watching too much of the movie about the earth which will going to be destroyed or the intrusion of the aliens to our planet or the love story between the vampire and human which is kindda impossible. OH MY....What happen to me??? I think i could be diagnose as hyper-movie-into-madness. WAHAHAHA...What kind of illness is that.
But anyway, for year 2009 i should be having some kind of new target (which is kindda like a trend of something). I think my current target now is to earn for a living, earn for my future, earn for HIM. No matter how hard it is, i'm gonna bite my lips and tongue or wherever that i can bite. Maybe sometimes life is not as easy as what i've expected, life might be tougher than i've expected....i knew that there's only one person that will stand still, always in the stanby mode whenever i need HIM. With the small faith that i had, i believe that nothing is going to be impossible. I'm so impressed with CS. Lewis recently, he was a good author. He makes me realized how sinful we are but there's always HOPE out there. Thank GOD for that. Another target of mine is to stay in good shape. I knew that my body was currently out of shape, and i think it seems to be getting worst if my situation continues to be like this. But, i had no idea how am i going to keep that. I had no faith with myself. All i can do is buy a tighter belt, keep to my normal meal, try to have less coffee....
Life out of my hometown is so different from the one that i used to had in my own home. I'm still adapting to it, though i'm doing quite well on it. But still, there's some human part of me which i cant cope. I just need some more times, for time being there will be someone that had the key to unlock the chain of my heart. Just hang in there....Don't gived up!!! You're LOved!!!
But anyway, for year 2009 i should be having some kind of new target (which is kindda like a trend of something). I think my current target now is to earn for a living, earn for my future, earn for HIM. No matter how hard it is, i'm gonna bite my lips and tongue or wherever that i can bite. Maybe sometimes life is not as easy as what i've expected, life might be tougher than i've expected....i knew that there's only one person that will stand still, always in the stanby mode whenever i need HIM. With the small faith that i had, i believe that nothing is going to be impossible. I'm so impressed with CS. Lewis recently, he was a good author. He makes me realized how sinful we are but there's always HOPE out there. Thank GOD for that. Another target of mine is to stay in good shape. I knew that my body was currently out of shape, and i think it seems to be getting worst if my situation continues to be like this. But, i had no idea how am i going to keep that. I had no faith with myself. All i can do is buy a tighter belt, keep to my normal meal, try to have less coffee....
Life out of my hometown is so different from the one that i used to had in my own home. I'm still adapting to it, though i'm doing quite well on it. But still, there's some human part of me which i cant cope. I just need some more times, for time being there will be someone that had the key to unlock the chain of my heart. Just hang in there....Don't gived up!!! You're LOved!!!
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