刚去完合唱营回来，真的很感恩我有这种恩赐，让我能在诗班侍奉。至从被人选为班长至今，每天都觉得自己什么都不会。每次诗班又紧急状况时我都帮不上忙，甚至会觉得不管我的事。‘班长’这个名称真的很重。去完合唱营回来后，我开始有不一样的想法。或许在行政方面我真的不行，但在唱歌方面我真的很感恩主赐给我这个恩赐。每次诗班练唱时我都有一股莫名的力量，不管我那天的精神如何，我在诗班里面就是会尽心尽力的去唱。很感恩我能够参加这次的合唱营。营会里的每一位老师都很用心的教导我们，我不知道别人会不会这样认为，但我很清楚知道我在这次营会里学到很多东西也看见不一样的东西。感谢主！
在这两天的集训里面，一班人一起进进出出，感觉更亲密了。我也看见了一些很令人痛心的事实，就是-原来我是那么的惹人厌的。这两天里面，除了和另一位姐妹一起搞气氛以外，根本就没有人想和我多说一句话。我甚至觉得他们根本就是勉强自己和我坐在同一桌吃饭。每个人跟我说话都是战战兢兢的，都是一些客套话，都不是因为想跟我讲话而跟我讲话。我承认，如果我遇到我不认同的topic时我会极力反对，因我觉得每个人都有不同的看法，我只是把我的看法提出来而已，你不一定要接受我的看法啊！我就是这样被人讨厌吧！管它的，我为什么要因为别人而改变自己？我就是我！主把我创造成这样我没有必要去改变我自己。
眼不见为净-这句话应该是他们的心里话！从今以后只有星期天我会出现，其他的时间我会尽量避免。自己一个人也可以很开心啊！
星期二, 8月 21, 2007
星期四, 8月 16, 2007
I"M SO SO SO SORRY!!!!
I feel i've always a trouble maker. No matter where am I or who i'm with, tat person will always have trouble. I just don't know why i'm such an unlucky person. I cant control it. I just don't know why.....PLEASE GOD....TEACH ME WAT AM I GOIN TO DO....
it's my fault that she lost that much of money....if it's wasn't my stubbornness she wont purposely went out n buy me dinner....n she wont meet all those weird ppl....n she wont....she wont....she wont cry for whole nite and lost herself....i feel sooo sooo sooo guilty...i just don't know why that i'm sooo sooo sooo unlucky.....i always bring all these kind of unluckiness to other ppl.....i...i didn't mean it....if i know this kind of things will happen, i swear i wont eat dinner....
Now that everything is too late...i cant....i cant...i cant....i cant do anything but only feelin guilty whenever i c her face....i don't have any face to c her anymore....i feel that whenever she c me she'll remember d thing.....I swear to myself....it's tough to lose one fren....but it will be tougher for her to remember her nightmare everyday.....i'd rather quit....it hard to me to tell her what i feel here....i'd write up to her n apologize...i just hope that everything is seriously going to be fine....though the probability is low....please....i just want her to be happy....i'll swear....i will try to avoid her...avoid from everyone startin from today onwards...i'll act as if i'm ok....but.....i'm closing n shutting down my heart from anyone and everyone....
GOD PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO DO....I DONT WANT TO C HER SUFFERIN....
it's my fault that she lost that much of money....if it's wasn't my stubbornness she wont purposely went out n buy me dinner....n she wont meet all those weird ppl....n she wont....she wont....she wont cry for whole nite and lost herself....i feel sooo sooo sooo guilty...i just don't know why that i'm sooo sooo sooo unlucky.....i always bring all these kind of unluckiness to other ppl.....i...i didn't mean it....if i know this kind of things will happen, i swear i wont eat dinner....
Now that everything is too late...i cant....i cant...i cant....i cant do anything but only feelin guilty whenever i c her face....i don't have any face to c her anymore....i feel that whenever she c me she'll remember d thing.....I swear to myself....it's tough to lose one fren....but it will be tougher for her to remember her nightmare everyday.....i'd rather quit....it hard to me to tell her what i feel here....i'd write up to her n apologize...i just hope that everything is seriously going to be fine....though the probability is low....please....i just want her to be happy....i'll swear....i will try to avoid her...avoid from everyone startin from today onwards...i'll act as if i'm ok....but.....i'm closing n shutting down my heart from anyone and everyone....
GOD PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO DO....I DONT WANT TO C HER SUFFERIN....
星期二, 8月 14, 2007
I'm scared
This is the first time ever i saw him like this....this was a pic taken while they are all discussing for his upcoming MV....according to the reporter, his face is always like this whenever he's at work....so please do not try to interupt him for any other things or talk something unrelated to what they are discussing....he'll not happy.....wow!!! Wat a perfect guy!!! That's the reason why i like him sooo soo much....
And the most important is that...i've finally got his new album!!! which i had repeated played for 4 hours non stop....and i still feel not enough!!! A lot of people tell me that they do not really like this album...but for me....i like everything that he had made....i did not say it purposely....but it's true!!! I can feel all the effort he's been putting into every sone....i can feel d message that he's trying to tell....no matter wat.....i love this album like any other one....
星期一, 8月 13, 2007
我有话说！！！12/8/2007
不知为什么，突然觉得心里有好多话想讲出来但这些话是不可以对任何一个人说的。不然会引起暴动！！！哈哈！！！
昨天我和一班我很少与他们一起出去玩的人出去玩（句子有点奇怪！）。虽然钱花了不少而且还看了一部我从来都没想过会去戏院看的戏（导火线），但我觉得我好像好久都没有玩到这么开心了。忽然觉得，每次我和那几个（我们平时一起出去玩的人马）一起出去玩，是玩到很疯没错，但回来后我没有那种开心的感觉而是应酬的感觉。如果和他们一起去看我不想看的戏，我回家后一定会很生气！！！但昨晚的我没有哦！！！好奇怪。难道那位弟兄魅力比较大？哈哈！！！但我不可否认的是-他在听到我说我的‘愿望’（和大队看我喜欢看的戏）是不会是现实，他就说-那让我们来‘实现’它吧！！！， 我听到这句话时真的有小小的感动。或许他擅长甜言蜜语吧！回来后，脑子里难免都会开始有一些‘想法’出现，或许心里会开始对他打分，但我很大声的对我自己说：不可能！！！像我跟他说的，他的身上有很多八爪鱼粘着，就算我真的要排队也不会轮到我的。哈哈！！！
然后还有一点就是，我们家隔壁房的那位。老实说，当初认识他的时候真的对他有一些幻想。但我很庆幸的是我没有陷得很深，因为我的室友那时已经对他有感觉了。所以我不需要花很多精力把自己抽离那种情况。到现在你问我，是否对他还有一点点的幻想？我回答大声的回答你说：我只是很欣赏他！！！因为当你看见他弹吉他的时候，真的很迷人！！！配上他那成熟男人的歌声时，我可以保证只要是女生看了都会被他迷倒。这点我不夸张哦！！！我不得不承认，他是一位很好的男人。但是，在我的字典里，好男人 = 别人的。而且，像我之前形容的一样，粘着他的女生简直就是 - 多！！！轮了一辈子也轮不到我的。
这种男生的问题，我已经不想再和我认识的人讨论了。因为出来的结论只会有两个：1）你被推去那个男生那里（就是被鼓励提起勇气行动啦）结果越陷越深，2）越讨论就越看见那个男生的缺点。但多数都是第一个情况比较多！！！所以，何苦呢？？？跟自己讲讲，自己欣赏就好了。不用这么三八到处去讲。哈哈！！！
昨天我和一班我很少与他们一起出去玩的人出去玩（句子有点奇怪！）。虽然钱花了不少而且还看了一部我从来都没想过会去戏院看的戏（导火线），但我觉得我好像好久都没有玩到这么开心了。忽然觉得，每次我和那几个（我们平时一起出去玩的人马）一起出去玩，是玩到很疯没错，但回来后我没有那种开心的感觉而是应酬的感觉。如果和他们一起去看我不想看的戏，我回家后一定会很生气！！！但昨晚的我没有哦！！！好奇怪。难道那位弟兄魅力比较大？哈哈！！！但我不可否认的是-他在听到我说我的‘愿望’（和大队看我喜欢看的戏）是不会是现实，他就说-那让我们来‘实现’它吧！！！， 我听到这句话时真的有小小的感动。或许他擅长甜言蜜语吧！回来后，脑子里难免都会开始有一些‘想法’出现，或许心里会开始对他打分，但我很大声的对我自己说：不可能！！！像我跟他说的，他的身上有很多八爪鱼粘着，就算我真的要排队也不会轮到我的。哈哈！！！
然后还有一点就是，我们家隔壁房的那位。老实说，当初认识他的时候真的对他有一些幻想。但我很庆幸的是我没有陷得很深，因为我的室友那时已经对他有感觉了。所以我不需要花很多精力把自己抽离那种情况。到现在你问我，是否对他还有一点点的幻想？我回答大声的回答你说：我只是很欣赏他！！！因为当你看见他弹吉他的时候，真的很迷人！！！配上他那成熟男人的歌声时，我可以保证只要是女生看了都会被他迷倒。这点我不夸张哦！！！我不得不承认，他是一位很好的男人。但是，在我的字典里，好男人 = 别人的。而且，像我之前形容的一样，粘着他的女生简直就是 - 多！！！轮了一辈子也轮不到我的。
这种男生的问题，我已经不想再和我认识的人讨论了。因为出来的结论只会有两个：1）你被推去那个男生那里（就是被鼓励提起勇气行动啦）结果越陷越深，2）越讨论就越看见那个男生的缺点。但多数都是第一个情况比较多！！！所以，何苦呢？？？跟自己讲讲，自己欣赏就好了。不用这么三八到处去讲。哈哈！！！
星期四, 8月 09, 2007
Heart Broken.....
My heart suddenly sinking deep down like a submarine was sinking back into the deep ocean when i found this pic....tat day when he was attending this he was having a high fever of 39 degree celcius....can u imagine that???And he's still smiling in front of the camera and in front of the fans and everyone there....if for me, i had already lie on the bed and cannot even move myself up to the toilet....but he is forcing himself to work!!! From this pic, we can see that his face is pale...it's not healthy look....i don't like this....i know i cant do anything here to help him, i can only pray that may GOD give him more strength to do wat he like.....and send someone to help him with all his work....i 1 him to be healthy.....so that i'll had his music forever.....
星期四, 8月 02, 2007
Hot Yoga
Yesterday i went to TRUE FITNESS in USJ to the trails....and i try out the hot yoga....it was ridiculous!!!The instructors were all from India and as you can imagine how the Indian speak with their slang....it's not easy for me to understand....Well, that's not the point. My point is, the moves are all so hyper!!! It might probably because i didn't stretch out myself for so long so i have some difficulties to do wat we are told to do. Besides that, i also don't really like that fitness centre. I don't know why. If compare to Fitness First, i still feel that it's better there than in True Fitness although the place is more larger than.
Erm, maybe it's hard to understand for the word HOT YOGA. It simply means that we're doing yoga inside a HOT room, that's abour 38 degree celcius. It's not that HOT, but once you stay inside and do all the yoga things, the sweats just flow out from every parts of your body without your knowledge. It's awsome!!! But this is only applicable for those who doesn't sweat in their normal lifetime. As for me, who sweats a lot, 24 hours non stop on the palm, i just don't understand why there's people go and purposely make themselve sweat. Well, i cant deny that it's kindda healthy for you to sweat but this situation is like forcing yourself too much!!! I cant take it. Haha!!!
And now, i can feel the pain around my waist and my thigh....haha....
Erm, maybe it's hard to understand for the word HOT YOGA. It simply means that we're doing yoga inside a HOT room, that's abour 38 degree celcius. It's not that HOT, but once you stay inside and do all the yoga things, the sweats just flow out from every parts of your body without your knowledge. It's awsome!!! But this is only applicable for those who doesn't sweat in their normal lifetime. As for me, who sweats a lot, 24 hours non stop on the palm, i just don't understand why there's people go and purposely make themselve sweat. Well, i cant deny that it's kindda healthy for you to sweat but this situation is like forcing yourself too much!!! I cant take it. Haha!!!
And now, i can feel the pain around my waist and my thigh....haha....
星期五, 7月 27, 2007
My Dearly
After seeing all this pic of my dearly, i feel soo soo guilty of myself....no matter where he is and what he do, he always gives it a 100% performance. He wont even waste his time while waiting for the train to come...he keep himself updated and renewed his knowledge everytime by going to the bookstore to buy books or reading books....when he practice for the performance although he is quite good at it.....
How bout me???Whenever i'm waiting a bus, i just stand there stupidly by staring at the end of the road for the arrival of the bus....the most i'll do is listen to my mp3....Whenever i go to the bookstore, i will walk straight to the fashion magazines section instead of book section.....besides that i don't read in a bookstore where i admit that i do not like to read books....Whenever i play piano, i only play for those songs that i'm good with....i'll never try out and practice for a new pieces although i had been graduated from the musical school after grade 8.....
It's a huge contrast from my dear's life....it's just...totally different!!!! How can i be that.... He must had been disappointed to have this kind of fans.... I'd like to upgrade myself more often..... From now onwards, i'll commit myself onto all these things to upgrade myself....before changing the world, i must change myself first....GAMBATEH!!!!
星期二, 7月 24, 2007
What do you Feel?
38o超高溫 未來一周沒啦 2007/07/24 07:20 記者:記者陳俍任／台北報導
連續幾天超高溫，今天將有機會舒緩！中央氣象局指出，今天局部山區將出現午後雷陣雨，不過市區會下雨的地點不多，且全台除南投外，降雨機率只有百分之十到卅。
檳氣象局：陣雨持續至28日 民眾須防災情惡化updated:2007-07-24
（威南、大山腳訊）因豪雨而引發的威省及吉南大水災情況持續，其中威南災情最嚴重，因豪雨引發山洪，新邦安拔潤絨河水氾濫，導致新邦安拔和峇都交灣一帶週一（23日）早上水災情況惡化，238戶家庭超過1000名災黎疏散。
此外，檳州氣象局預測，馬六甲海峽及南中國海上空出現的大雲朵，使檳州近日連續數天下起陣雨，當局預料陣雨會持續至28日，因此民眾必須防備水災情況可能惡化。
威省已有3條河水的水位處於警戒水平，檳州水利灌溉局已啟動水泵機，以排出過多的水量。
新加坡•30年來上升兩度越來越熱updated:2007-07-23
（新加坡訊）全球暖化造成全球各地氣象出現變化，處於溫帶的四季國家最能明顯感受氣象變化所帶來的影響。身處四季如夏的新加坡，人們不容易感受全球暖化的影響，但變化卻已經悄然出現。
國大地理系副教授大衛•希傑特（DavidHiggit）說︰“70年代的平均溫度一直處於攝氏26度左右，但現在卻已經上升到28度，相差兩度左右。或許數字上看起來那並不算甚麼，但當它是年平均氣溫變化時，就算只是一度也是相當顯著的變化。”
====> After reading all these news, what do you feel? My heart always drop an inch whenever i heard all these news. All of these happens because of us....because of human!!!All of these are created by ouself. Now that the earth is sick, what did we do? Do we just leave it like that? Do we like the earth now more than before? No one ever think of that including me, not until the newspapers and multimedia started to inform us about the condition of the earth. Everything had change now. We MUST do our part to keep it alive!!! Mother Earth is now sick!!! LET US STAND UP AND HELP HER!!!It doesn't mean that you alone cannot do your part, everything have to start from YOU ALONE first!!!And get more people involved in this. I'm tryin my very best now, i wont switch on the aircond just to keep me feel cool, i wont throw the used paper away but to send it to recycle, i tried ask not to give plastic bags when i buy things, i tried my very best to reuse all the plastic material which are still good in condition. Although this wont help much, but at least i'm doing my part. We have to stand up and SAVE THE WORLD. There might be big possibility that the schene in the movie- THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW will arrive. Let's get started!!!
連續幾天超高溫，今天將有機會舒緩！中央氣象局指出，今天局部山區將出現午後雷陣雨，不過市區會下雨的地點不多，且全台除南投外，降雨機率只有百分之十到卅。
檳氣象局：陣雨持續至28日 民眾須防災情惡化updated:2007-07-24
（威南、大山腳訊）因豪雨而引發的威省及吉南大水災情況持續，其中威南災情最嚴重，因豪雨引發山洪，新邦安拔潤絨河水氾濫，導致新邦安拔和峇都交灣一帶週一（23日）早上水災情況惡化，238戶家庭超過1000名災黎疏散。
此外，檳州氣象局預測，馬六甲海峽及南中國海上空出現的大雲朵，使檳州近日連續數天下起陣雨，當局預料陣雨會持續至28日，因此民眾必須防備水災情況可能惡化。
威省已有3條河水的水位處於警戒水平，檳州水利灌溉局已啟動水泵機，以排出過多的水量。
新加坡•30年來上升兩度越來越熱updated:2007-07-23
（新加坡訊）全球暖化造成全球各地氣象出現變化，處於溫帶的四季國家最能明顯感受氣象變化所帶來的影響。身處四季如夏的新加坡，人們不容易感受全球暖化的影響，但變化卻已經悄然出現。
國大地理系副教授大衛•希傑特（DavidHiggit）說︰“70年代的平均溫度一直處於攝氏26度左右，但現在卻已經上升到28度，相差兩度左右。或許數字上看起來那並不算甚麼，但當它是年平均氣溫變化時，就算只是一度也是相當顯著的變化。”
====> After reading all these news, what do you feel? My heart always drop an inch whenever i heard all these news. All of these happens because of us....because of human!!!All of these are created by ouself. Now that the earth is sick, what did we do? Do we just leave it like that? Do we like the earth now more than before? No one ever think of that including me, not until the newspapers and multimedia started to inform us about the condition of the earth. Everything had change now. We MUST do our part to keep it alive!!! Mother Earth is now sick!!! LET US STAND UP AND HELP HER!!!It doesn't mean that you alone cannot do your part, everything have to start from YOU ALONE first!!!And get more people involved in this. I'm tryin my very best now, i wont switch on the aircond just to keep me feel cool, i wont throw the used paper away but to send it to recycle, i tried ask not to give plastic bags when i buy things, i tried my very best to reuse all the plastic material which are still good in condition. Although this wont help much, but at least i'm doing my part. We have to stand up and SAVE THE WORLD. There might be big possibility that the schene in the movie- THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW will arrive. Let's get started!!!
星期一, 7月 23, 2007
沉重的心情 17/7/2007
好久都没有一个人独处了，回家后都跟妈妈进进出出的，唯一一个人的时候就是看电视的时候。现在回到这个房间，感觉还真是出奇的寂寞。前两天的生活太充实了，把自己给搞垮了。所以今天先让自己休息一下，但没想到时间还真是难打发呀。
这次我有留级了，而这个学期我拿了一科务必要及格的科目-MBB。今天第一堂课老师就已强调了，我听了心里好难受！顿时就觉得为什么自己就是比别人笨，做什么都不会。书又不会读，试班班长又不会做，什么都不会，只会吃喝玩乐。这个不是笨是什么？
我很痛苦！总觉得这个年头事事都不顺，读书不顺、人际关系不顺、甚至连家里也不顺。从去年开始就被留级结果现在比别人慢、在人际关系上面也不顺，一大堆人不喜欢我（他们嘴上不说但其实我可以感受到他们对我的不耐烦），这个我也认了。反正一个人也没有什么不可以呀，而且我还有唯一的一个知己- Patricia。不知道是不是因为她人太好的关系所以我很喜欢和她在一起，不管和她讲什么她都会用心的听。家里-哼！更不用说了、老的是这样，小的也是这样。我妈辛苦，我好怕她有一天撑不下去了就会做那些我想也不敢想的事。我一定要快点毕业，我不可以在被留级了。我妈对我的期望很高！我不可以再让她失望。我已经三番两次的令她失望了，我一定要加把劲奋斗到底！我是妈妈的依靠了，我一定要很加油！不可以再被留级了！不管怎样我一定要很加油！从现在开始，我决定少于团契的人有互动。因为他们常常在周末会有活动，只要我远离他们我就不会面对这些诱惑。这个学期开始，每个周末我都要去找Patricia一起温书做功课。诗班班长的职位我也会辞掉，希望他们谅解我。我不可以再这样颓废下去了，我妈很需要我的！快快读完回去陪她，作她精神的支柱。明年的这个时候我一定要毕业！这是我对我自己的承诺！或许过程会很艰难，求主帮助我！我只要几个就好！我不要求多。
主啊！如果你看见我被撒旦攻击，求你一定要把握拉出来！
主啊！如果你看见我懒惰，求你一定要重重的惩罚我！
主啊！如果你看见我贪恋物质，求你一定要提醒我世界某个角落的需要！
主啊！我知道我是不配得到你的爱，我知道我是个罪人，我很清楚的知道唯有主你的宝血才能洗净我的一切罪恶。
主啊！求你看顾我，让撒旦远离我！
这次我有留级了，而这个学期我拿了一科务必要及格的科目-MBB。今天第一堂课老师就已强调了，我听了心里好难受！顿时就觉得为什么自己就是比别人笨，做什么都不会。书又不会读，试班班长又不会做，什么都不会，只会吃喝玩乐。这个不是笨是什么？
我很痛苦！总觉得这个年头事事都不顺，读书不顺、人际关系不顺、甚至连家里也不顺。从去年开始就被留级结果现在比别人慢、在人际关系上面也不顺，一大堆人不喜欢我（他们嘴上不说但其实我可以感受到他们对我的不耐烦），这个我也认了。反正一个人也没有什么不可以呀，而且我还有唯一的一个知己- Patricia。不知道是不是因为她人太好的关系所以我很喜欢和她在一起，不管和她讲什么她都会用心的听。家里-哼！更不用说了、老的是这样，小的也是这样。我妈辛苦，我好怕她有一天撑不下去了就会做那些我想也不敢想的事。我一定要快点毕业，我不可以在被留级了。我妈对我的期望很高！我不可以再让她失望。我已经三番两次的令她失望了，我一定要加把劲奋斗到底！我是妈妈的依靠了，我一定要很加油！不可以再被留级了！不管怎样我一定要很加油！从现在开始，我决定少于团契的人有互动。因为他们常常在周末会有活动，只要我远离他们我就不会面对这些诱惑。这个学期开始，每个周末我都要去找Patricia一起温书做功课。诗班班长的职位我也会辞掉，希望他们谅解我。我不可以再这样颓废下去了，我妈很需要我的！快快读完回去陪她，作她精神的支柱。明年的这个时候我一定要毕业！这是我对我自己的承诺！或许过程会很艰难，求主帮助我！我只要几个就好！我不要求多。
主啊！如果你看见我被撒旦攻击，求你一定要把握拉出来！
主啊！如果你看见我懒惰，求你一定要重重的惩罚我！
主啊！如果你看见我贪恋物质，求你一定要提醒我世界某个角落的需要！
主啊！我知道我是不配得到你的爱，我知道我是个罪人，我很清楚的知道唯有主你的宝血才能洗净我的一切罪恶。
主啊！求你看顾我，让撒旦远离我！
星期六, 7月 21, 2007
A pic i MUST Comment
This is the pic which i feel uncomfortable with. I just don't know why i have this kind of feeling. It's my dearest LEEHOM of course and i don't have the feeling of dislike Selina however. I just don't know why, i always feel uneasy when i see this pic. So i must shout it out here. To me, LEEHOM in this pic seems to be uneasy as well. Maybe he might had been too tired due to his work load the day before he take this pic or capturing this MV. And that Selina's face is like...she's more willing to take this pic than LEEHOM did. It's like the guy was being forced to marry tat gal because tat gal is pregnant!!!Haha, i'm very bad!!!!
In conclusion, i don't like this pic.
星期五, 7月 20, 2007
New Campus....New Semester....
The new Monash campus is Malaysia had finally opened!!!This is ridiculous...it's so big and nice...everything is new...I so like the brand new LT and the lab and also the 3 level library....whenever i walk into this new campus, i have a strong desire to make me feel like studying...but the thing that i don't like is the cafeteria. It's not much choice to make compare to the one in sunway. I still prefer the sunway campus cafeteria. So lunch, we'd rather walk for 10 mins to the food court outside under the hot and striking sun....Now, i'm very worried for my skin....I'm goin to get a sunscream soon....
However, it sounds nice for all the new things....it's the toughest semester for me!!!I've once again fail one subject....so this sem i've to retake it again. This is not my point. My point is, this sem i'm takin one subject which only offered this sem. Which means if i do fail tat subject, i'll have to take 2 subject to replace that one subject....That's not the big deal yet...the big deal is that...that subject is the most horrible subject among all of the studies...(according to seniors)...if i din do well in the lab and assignemnt, it means i've fail the whole unit...which means i do not have to take the final exam anymore!!!!AAARRGGHHH.....i can't believe this....first day of the lec i've started to feel stress and cry at night because of imagining all the consequences....Not only this subject is a nightmare, there's 2 more subjects....This sems is the most horrible sem that i had ever take....and i think my study life is getting worst....i must do this....there's someone waiting on me and depending on me....i must not fall...i must stand straight....i must face all these....
GOD, please hold my hands when i'm lost.
GOD, please push me up when i fall.
GOD, please lighten up my path in front of me.
GOD, please take care of me so that i won't follow satan's pathway.
GOD, i have to be strong.
GOD, i have to be calm.
GOD, without YOU by my side i wont be able to do all these.
GOD, i knew YOU are always there.
However, it sounds nice for all the new things....it's the toughest semester for me!!!I've once again fail one subject....so this sem i've to retake it again. This is not my point. My point is, this sem i'm takin one subject which only offered this sem. Which means if i do fail tat subject, i'll have to take 2 subject to replace that one subject....That's not the big deal yet...the big deal is that...that subject is the most horrible subject among all of the studies...(according to seniors)...if i din do well in the lab and assignemnt, it means i've fail the whole unit...which means i do not have to take the final exam anymore!!!!AAARRGGHHH.....i can't believe this....first day of the lec i've started to feel stress and cry at night because of imagining all the consequences....Not only this subject is a nightmare, there's 2 more subjects....This sems is the most horrible sem that i had ever take....and i think my study life is getting worst....i must do this....there's someone waiting on me and depending on me....i must not fall...i must stand straight....i must face all these....
GOD, please hold my hands when i'm lost.
GOD, please push me up when i fall.
GOD, please lighten up my path in front of me.
GOD, please take care of me so that i won't follow satan's pathway.
GOD, i have to be strong.
GOD, i have to be calm.
GOD, without YOU by my side i wont be able to do all these.
GOD, i knew YOU are always there.
星期六, 7月 14, 2007
My 21st Bday
These are the pic that i took by myself...includin all the ppl that gatherin around my house and my new hairstyle...haha...
1) My 21-year-old look....HEHEHE....COPYRIGHT from ELLA....hahaha
2) This is the receipt for my hairstyle....with the DAY that GOD created me....
3) Whole bunch of ppl tryin to give me surprise....but they fail instead....
1) My 21-year-old look....HEHEHE....COPYRIGHT from ELLA....hahaha
2) This is the receipt for my hairstyle....with the DAY that GOD created me....
3) Whole bunch of ppl tryin to give me surprise....but they fail instead....
夜间的灵感
每一次看回我所写的一些文章，都会觉得有种莫名的伤感。应该是因为我太敏感了吧，只要有一点点的芝麻绿豆，我就会觉得世界是灰暗的。这种现象在今年（我发现）特别严重。我甚至会开始怀疑别人对我的好，开始怀疑那个人对我的居心。我的世界突然变得好灰暗，以前在我心里的那颗太阳跑去那里了呢？难道真的像‘太阳浩劫Sunshine’那部戏里的太阳一样吗？
每次功课的压力都弄到我喘不过气来，有时候甚至想过放弃。但是，听见妈妈在电话里说我们是她的依靠时，就会有鼓动力让我继续下去。好想明天就立刻毕业，然后回家陪她。没关系，很快了。明年的这个时候就是我准备毕业的时候了。我一定不会再给我借口不极格，会不极格都是我自己造成的。我不会再让这样的事情再一次的发生。
虽然每次都会觉得人心好险恶，但至少我知道还是有一些面临绝种的人在外面。男生对我来说都是一样的，没有好和坏男人，只有用心或不用心。往往在我身边的都是一些吊儿郎当的，样子看起来是一脸正经但好像笑里都藏着一把刀。这难道就是单恋的后遗症吗? 我不敢否认，多多少少有一点成份在。我可以很肯定的说，神为我安排的那一位还没出现。没关系，耐心等待必要欢呼！神知道我什么时候准备好，什么时候最适合。我的一切的一切，神都知道。
就算全世界的人事物是假的，神对我的爱永远都是真的。一切权柄荣耀都是我父的。
每次功课的压力都弄到我喘不过气来，有时候甚至想过放弃。但是，听见妈妈在电话里说我们是她的依靠时，就会有鼓动力让我继续下去。好想明天就立刻毕业，然后回家陪她。没关系，很快了。明年的这个时候就是我准备毕业的时候了。我一定不会再给我借口不极格，会不极格都是我自己造成的。我不会再让这样的事情再一次的发生。
虽然每次都会觉得人心好险恶，但至少我知道还是有一些面临绝种的人在外面。男生对我来说都是一样的，没有好和坏男人，只有用心或不用心。往往在我身边的都是一些吊儿郎当的，样子看起来是一脸正经但好像笑里都藏着一把刀。这难道就是单恋的后遗症吗? 我不敢否认，多多少少有一点成份在。我可以很肯定的说，神为我安排的那一位还没出现。没关系，耐心等待必要欢呼！神知道我什么时候准备好，什么时候最适合。我的一切的一切，神都知道。
就算全世界的人事物是假的，神对我的爱永远都是真的。一切权柄荣耀都是我父的。
原来我是那么在乎的 27/6/2007
一直以来我都知道我是很讨厌别人动了我的东西而不放回原位的，我还以为或许时间久了我的习惯会改。但原来不是的，本性就是如此了就很难改的了。
昨晚我因为安顿我外婆她们后就赶回来家开会。在我等着Monorail时容循打电话给我，跟我借衣服换，我也答应了而且还叫他随便（既然我不在家）。当我一到家时就发现我房间的灯是开着的，当我踏进房间时，里面是没有人的！更离谱的是，我的电脑是开着的，而且戏是被停顿（pause）在那里的！这还不是什么大件事，还有更离谱的是-他们竟让真的很听我的话-随便！原本花了一个早上收拾的房间，地上又放满了东西而且还真的是随便放的那种！
天啊！我给我自己的解释是-因为我们在外面开会所以没地方放。电脑呢-就是他们太闷了所以开来看。那灯呢，就是他们出去得太赶啦。在这些自我安慰的话后，心理至少没有这么难受了。
怎知我们一堆人出去帮思箐庆祝好生日回来后，我要准备冲凉时，发现我的衣服像被贼翻过一样（是我夸张了点），我心里顿时就有一股怒气涌上来。我一直对容循的印象都很好的，在我心目中她不像那种会做出以上种种事情的人。但我觉得罪魁祸首应该不只她一个。
我生气不是因为她们开我电脑看我的戏，我生气不是因为她们弄乱我房间和我的衣服，我气的是如果你要用我的电脑，那拜托你-如果你看到我没在家，麻烦你跟我所一声。难道我不会借吗？我有时虽然是吝奢了点，但这样的东西我没好吝奢的吧？最起码，你看好不用就这样开着放在那里吧？还要是停顿的（虽然我也常做这样的事），但我可不知道你们放它在那种情况多久了呀！这样对我电脑的系统带来很大的伤害呀！东西摊在地上我还没这么气，最气的就是我的衣服！明明排得好好的衣服被弄乱了！天啊！你要跟我借衣服，如果你要一件一件拉出来看它是怎样的，没关系！这是一定要的啊！我们去逛街不也是这样吗？但是，重点是，这里是我家啊！我的衣服都是我自己折的啊！你把它一件一件拉出来，最起码你也把它折回去让排好好的吧？这种原理应该没有很深吧？图书馆不也是每次都说：看过的书请放回原位吗？这是一样的道理啊！他们搞到好像逛街买衣服一样。
这虽然很小事，但我心里就是很不舒服。现在回想起来，那股怒气就是会上来。我这一生人最讨厌人家拿了我东西没放回原位和拿了我东西没经过我的同意！好气！！！气死我了！
昨晚我因为安顿我外婆她们后就赶回来家开会。在我等着Monorail时容循打电话给我，跟我借衣服换，我也答应了而且还叫他随便（既然我不在家）。当我一到家时就发现我房间的灯是开着的，当我踏进房间时，里面是没有人的！更离谱的是，我的电脑是开着的，而且戏是被停顿（pause）在那里的！这还不是什么大件事，还有更离谱的是-他们竟让真的很听我的话-随便！原本花了一个早上收拾的房间，地上又放满了东西而且还真的是随便放的那种！
天啊！我给我自己的解释是-因为我们在外面开会所以没地方放。电脑呢-就是他们太闷了所以开来看。那灯呢，就是他们出去得太赶啦。在这些自我安慰的话后，心理至少没有这么难受了。
怎知我们一堆人出去帮思箐庆祝好生日回来后，我要准备冲凉时，发现我的衣服像被贼翻过一样（是我夸张了点），我心里顿时就有一股怒气涌上来。我一直对容循的印象都很好的，在我心目中她不像那种会做出以上种种事情的人。但我觉得罪魁祸首应该不只她一个。
我生气不是因为她们开我电脑看我的戏，我生气不是因为她们弄乱我房间和我的衣服，我气的是如果你要用我的电脑，那拜托你-如果你看到我没在家，麻烦你跟我所一声。难道我不会借吗？我有时虽然是吝奢了点，但这样的东西我没好吝奢的吧？最起码，你看好不用就这样开着放在那里吧？还要是停顿的（虽然我也常做这样的事），但我可不知道你们放它在那种情况多久了呀！这样对我电脑的系统带来很大的伤害呀！东西摊在地上我还没这么气，最气的就是我的衣服！明明排得好好的衣服被弄乱了！天啊！你要跟我借衣服，如果你要一件一件拉出来看它是怎样的，没关系！这是一定要的啊！我们去逛街不也是这样吗？但是，重点是，这里是我家啊！我的衣服都是我自己折的啊！你把它一件一件拉出来，最起码你也把它折回去让排好好的吧？这种原理应该没有很深吧？图书馆不也是每次都说：看过的书请放回原位吗？这是一样的道理啊！他们搞到好像逛街买衣服一样。
这虽然很小事，但我心里就是很不舒服。现在回想起来，那股怒气就是会上来。我这一生人最讨厌人家拿了我东西没放回原位和拿了我东西没经过我的同意！好气！！！气死我了！
星期日, 6月 24, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.....
Happy Birthday to ME....Happy Birthday to ME...Happy Birthday to Me...Happy Birthday to CINDY....Happy Birthday to me.....Haha....I've finally grown up to 21 years old liao lo....cant believe that i'm adult now...i'm no longer a child lo....Haha....So in order to make this day special, i get myself present and set myself a 21-year-old target....haha....i join California Fitness, go to have a nice nice haircut and change my look...i'll be totally different when u c me then....haha....
However, there's something disappoint me happen as well....there's two friends of mine who are very nice, wanted to bring me out to play....but then at last i found that they are all not willing to come out....they are like being force by me....they are all sooo tired and do not feel like shopping and they keep on mentioning something like....(the guy say)'come let's drive to shah alam lo?'--a girl whom he admire lives there....i know what he means....he means that if it wasn't me he'll be going to find that girl out instead of me. (though i dont know whether tat girl is free o not)....and another fren of mine (the gal) just finish work and was exhausted....i feel like she was dragging her body and walkin together....i just don't want other ppl to purposely suit themselve because i want to....i don't want to force ppl for that....though i din force them....but....i feel guilty when i heard all these words and see all their tired reaction....i feel guilty...i don't feel good....hai....
There'll be more pic for my 21st birthday coming...include my birthday present (that i buy for myself), my new hairstyle and stuff like that....hahaha....cant wait for that....but....i still have one more final paper 2molo....HUH.....this was like a cold water had been poured down on me....everyone had been enjoyin their holiday and i'm still forcing myself here to read d books....aduhai....
However, there's something disappoint me happen as well....there's two friends of mine who are very nice, wanted to bring me out to play....but then at last i found that they are all not willing to come out....they are like being force by me....they are all sooo tired and do not feel like shopping and they keep on mentioning something like....(the guy say)'come let's drive to shah alam lo?'--a girl whom he admire lives there....i know what he means....he means that if it wasn't me he'll be going to find that girl out instead of me. (though i dont know whether tat girl is free o not)....and another fren of mine (the gal) just finish work and was exhausted....i feel like she was dragging her body and walkin together....i just don't want other ppl to purposely suit themselve because i want to....i don't want to force ppl for that....though i din force them....but....i feel guilty when i heard all these words and see all their tired reaction....i feel guilty...i don't feel good....hai....
There'll be more pic for my 21st birthday coming...include my birthday present (that i buy for myself), my new hairstyle and stuff like that....hahaha....cant wait for that....but....i still have one more final paper 2molo....HUH.....this was like a cold water had been poured down on me....everyone had been enjoyin their holiday and i'm still forcing myself here to read d books....aduhai....
星期二, 6月 19, 2007
Suffering
In 4 hours time, i'll be sitting in the exam hall for my genetic final test. I am so tired....this is the first time ever i totally surrender myself for this. I feel so stupid and useless. I just cant remember what i've study and i cant understand what i study. I seriously dont want to let my parents down, i wanted them to feel proud for me. But i just cant do that!!! I'm so useless. I always letting them down. I'm so stupid. What i can do now is pray hard so that those things which i had studied and remembered well will be usefull in the paper later. I'm so tired of this final exam thingy.
星期一, 6月 18, 2007
A memorial Saturday
Last last saturday (3/6) it was the most happiest saturday i've ever had in my life. Thanks to my buddy-Shi Ling. If it wasn't her, i wont have the chance to eat those 5 stars korean feast, i wont go to 1-U and having fun, i wont go to True Fitness and see by myself how big it was, i wont be able to meet Nick Foong-the good-looking True Fitness counsellor....
Although all these seems normal, but i do had a memorial saturday ever in my life. I've never eat a real korean food....i just cant explain that....it's just....amazing....so bad that i din take some photo of how all the food looks like...because that restaurant is strictly prohibited for ppl to take photo....not for the food but even for the ppl...erm....i dun understand why but that's the rule...
So wish that i can eat some more special things for my coming birthday....i'm turning 21st....the birthday present that i wanted and will i'm the only one that can buy it for myself is to join as a member in California Fitness which will be opening soon in Sunway Pyramid....HOHOHO!!!!I cant wait to see Jackie Chan for that...my 21st target is to get slim....get fit....i don't wish for other ppls present (instead i wanted to stay alone during that day of mine, between me and GOD). Though i'm having exams now (which i'm suffering so much now), i'm always think of where to hide myself from all of the people i knows here. I just want to leave that day for me, alone! I just wanted to live that day without any earthly friends, i'll leave everything to GOD, appreciate GOD's making and GOD's working during that special day (for me). If it wasn't HIM, i won't be here.
Erm, i have to get back to study. O else Patricia will start mumbling besides me....hahah....
Although all these seems normal, but i do had a memorial saturday ever in my life. I've never eat a real korean food....i just cant explain that....it's just....amazing....so bad that i din take some photo of how all the food looks like...because that restaurant is strictly prohibited for ppl to take photo....not for the food but even for the ppl...erm....i dun understand why but that's the rule...
So wish that i can eat some more special things for my coming birthday....i'm turning 21st....the birthday present that i wanted and will i'm the only one that can buy it for myself is to join as a member in California Fitness which will be opening soon in Sunway Pyramid....HOHOHO!!!!I cant wait to see Jackie Chan for that...my 21st target is to get slim....get fit....i don't wish for other ppls present (instead i wanted to stay alone during that day of mine, between me and GOD). Though i'm having exams now (which i'm suffering so much now), i'm always think of where to hide myself from all of the people i knows here. I just want to leave that day for me, alone! I just wanted to live that day without any earthly friends, i'll leave everything to GOD, appreciate GOD's making and GOD's working during that special day (for me). If it wasn't HIM, i won't be here.
Erm, i have to get back to study. O else Patricia will start mumbling besides me....hahah....
星期一, 5月 28, 2007
2007 American Idol
Congrats to Jordin Sparks, the new American Idol. Although i wasn't really supporting her, but so do have a great vocal. When she sing 'This is my Now', the producer's song made only for the Finale, she even touched herself whereby she shade into tears. But through that song, i believed that she've touched everyone in the theatre that night and of course including those watching her performance that night (including me). I've already had that song downloaded and everytime i listen to her version, my hairs stands onto the end!!! Like they are standing to show respect, wahaha!!! Good on you Jordin!!!Just in case you are wondering who Jordin is, i've got a pic here from americanidol.com to show you.
Well, i feel a little bit disappointed for Blake Lewis (the one i supporting). He din get to the top. But at least he had made it to the finale and had done such a great performance ever. He is such a talent in beat-boxing. But i must not deny that he cannot do well in ballet song where Jordin do did well in this. Haha, i sounds like one of d judges. Wahaha. Here is a pic of Blake Lewis:
(this was the pic taken when he was singin 'this is my now')
HUH, i'm so into american idol these days. Although it's the end for this season, i still keep on refreshing on the performances by watching the video on youtube. Haha, really feel glad for those who post up the videos there. And also, the reasons for me to gettin mad of this reality show is that there will have a lot of great artist performin like Bon Jovi:
Gwen Stefani, Maroon 5, Chris Doughtry, Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood.....whole lots more. Besides that, there will have some artist who come and watch the shows. It's the Fantastic Four:
Well, i feel a little bit disappointed for Blake Lewis (the one i supporting). He din get to the top. But at least he had made it to the finale and had done such a great performance ever. He is such a talent in beat-boxing. But i must not deny that he cannot do well in ballet song where Jordin do did well in this. Haha, i sounds like one of d judges. Wahaha. Here is a pic of Blake Lewis:
(this was the pic taken when he was singin 'this is my now')
HUH, i'm so into american idol these days. Although it's the end for this season, i still keep on refreshing on the performances by watching the video on youtube. Haha, really feel glad for those who post up the videos there. And also, the reasons for me to gettin mad of this reality show is that there will have a lot of great artist performin like Bon Jovi:
Gwen Stefani, Maroon 5, Chris Doughtry, Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood.....whole lots more. Besides that, there will have some artist who come and watch the shows. It's the Fantastic Four:
星期一, 5月 14, 2007
Testimony
I wanna spend some time writing my testimony here...I've never done it before...so i'd decided to do it now...
Last weeks is the busiest week i've ever had...i've been struggling sooo sooo much for my assignment and reports....it's been a tough time whereby i have no idea how am i goin to start for that and besides, i've sooo many things to settle like choir committee meeting, fellowship praise and worship thing...and also there's something happen in my family as well....all of these stress and tiredness makes me feel so hard to breath....how i wish i'd can skip everything here....gone far away to a world where no one will recognise me....then started to pray to GOD....tell HIM whatever i feel deep down in my heart...tell HIM how i suffered from this world....tell HIM my disappointment....then there's one day, when i came in to the class i heard people whispering bout the extension of the assignment...then this is first time ever i approach to someone i don't even know her name to ask for that....i was almost shade in tears when i heard that that girl told me...she say someone ask for the extension on the assignments and our lecturer had approve that...THANK GOD!!!Then with all the pack schedule that i used to had the day before, it change totally to the schedule which i can fit and done everything on time. THANK GOD for that....Although it's hard to believe that, it's true....it's my testimony here.
GOD is the almighty GOD who walks alongside with us....i never feel alone...whenever i'm facing any problem, i knew that there's someone holding my hands and guiding me showing me the bright path....whenever i walk too fast, HE will told me to slow down....i just can heard his voice beside me, leading me guiding me....too complicated ho....for example: when there's one time i feel super stress up and i forgot to seek for his kingdom, there will have a song that make me remember him....like BON JOVI's 'livin on the prayer' and 'keep the faith'....although BON JOVI does not directly sing the words of GOD, but through the words in his song it's sounds like GOD was talking to me....i feel sooo thankful that i had GOD to be walk with....
If u think that i sound ridiculous, nevermind. I'll continue to pray for you. I believe that there will have one day we'll be sitting together in the kingdom of glory. Do you want to take Jesus Christ as your personal saviour??? Take a deep thought of that. May all glory were given unto him!!! Alleluia....
Last weeks is the busiest week i've ever had...i've been struggling sooo sooo much for my assignment and reports....it's been a tough time whereby i have no idea how am i goin to start for that and besides, i've sooo many things to settle like choir committee meeting, fellowship praise and worship thing...and also there's something happen in my family as well....all of these stress and tiredness makes me feel so hard to breath....how i wish i'd can skip everything here....gone far away to a world where no one will recognise me....then started to pray to GOD....tell HIM whatever i feel deep down in my heart...tell HIM how i suffered from this world....tell HIM my disappointment....then there's one day, when i came in to the class i heard people whispering bout the extension of the assignment...then this is first time ever i approach to someone i don't even know her name to ask for that....i was almost shade in tears when i heard that that girl told me...she say someone ask for the extension on the assignments and our lecturer had approve that...THANK GOD!!!Then with all the pack schedule that i used to had the day before, it change totally to the schedule which i can fit and done everything on time. THANK GOD for that....Although it's hard to believe that, it's true....it's my testimony here.
GOD is the almighty GOD who walks alongside with us....i never feel alone...whenever i'm facing any problem, i knew that there's someone holding my hands and guiding me showing me the bright path....whenever i walk too fast, HE will told me to slow down....i just can heard his voice beside me, leading me guiding me....too complicated ho....for example: when there's one time i feel super stress up and i forgot to seek for his kingdom, there will have a song that make me remember him....like BON JOVI's 'livin on the prayer' and 'keep the faith'....although BON JOVI does not directly sing the words of GOD, but through the words in his song it's sounds like GOD was talking to me....i feel sooo thankful that i had GOD to be walk with....
If u think that i sound ridiculous, nevermind. I'll continue to pray for you. I believe that there will have one day we'll be sitting together in the kingdom of glory. Do you want to take Jesus Christ as your personal saviour??? Take a deep thought of that. May all glory were given unto him!!! Alleluia....
星期四, 5月 10, 2007
BON JOVI ROCKS.....
I just cant believe that i'm so addicted into Bon Jovi recently because of the theme (Bon Jovi's Song) in American Idol. I'm so addicted to him!!! Although last time i've been addicted once since their album 'Crush' but now, they will be back again with their new album 'Lost Highway'....i cant wait for that....
Recently i've been downloading some of their top songs and found that they are superbly nice....i've never knew that....their songs is soo soo sooo nice....HUH!!!! I'm getting too excited bout them....and the most important thing is that...the vocal -Jon Bon Jovi is the man!!!! He is such a gorgeous man...a nice man...he is so rational....he is so fair to everyone...he tell the truth and scold the contestant necessary....hug them and kiss them when necessary to keep the contestant feels good....WOW!!!! I'm just too addicted to the band right now....the band won't live without everyone...they are the longest rock band every present in this world....
BON JOVI ROCKS....
This is the man whom i think will be the AMERICAN IDOL 2007....he got the package...he is talented...able to take the risk where even Jon Bon Jovi say that he was rolling on a dice...but he made it!!!!YEAH!!!!
Recently i've been downloading some of their top songs and found that they are superbly nice....i've never knew that....their songs is soo soo sooo nice....HUH!!!! I'm getting too excited bout them....and the most important thing is that...the vocal -Jon Bon Jovi is the man!!!! He is such a gorgeous man...a nice man...he is so rational....he is so fair to everyone...he tell the truth and scold the contestant necessary....hug them and kiss them when necessary to keep the contestant feels good....WOW!!!! I'm just too addicted to the band right now....the band won't live without everyone...they are the longest rock band every present in this world....
BON JOVI ROCKS....
This is the man whom i think will be the AMERICAN IDOL 2007....he got the package...he is talented...able to take the risk where even Jon Bon Jovi say that he was rolling on a dice...but he made it!!!!YEAH!!!!
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