First Salary

Today, a public holiday, i'm home alone. I spend whole afternoon out there shopping until i got something from head to toe. All this spend a quarter of my salary. I wonder how can i survive until end of the month. The Chinese New Year is around the corner, this is the excuse i'm giving myself. From now onwards, i swear...no shopping for myself anymore. No more accessories or luxurious food for me anymore. I'm gonna live a simple life from now on.

Whole afternoon outside wondering all by myself, get lost in the town and finally get on the correct track, makes me feel so lonely. Though i look busy, but inside of me is hollow. I feel like i need someone to talk to but only then i realized i don't have one, which is kindda pathetic. I couldn't remember when is the last time i laugh out loud, makes me feel like stepping into the cinema to watch YES MAN.

Well, my life nowadays is so simple. During normal working days, my days past real fast. However, during the weekend, my days feel like ages. I feel wanted to give up on everything and just step on to Doulos. But, i cant. The reality is holding me back. No matter how i feel right now, what i'm going to face in the future for my job, i'll be hanging there. For money sack i'll be holding what my job needs me to do now, i'm sure will get on to Doulos. So....Doulos....wait for me!!!

Only i realize how i miss it so much

Merry Christmas to those who are reading my blog, wish you had a great time to sit down and relax, cleared up your mind from all your busy living days etc. As for me, i just came back from church. This morning, GOD wakes me up. Because i tell HIM that tomorrow i'll hav to be in the church to celebrate JESUS birthday. And, YES!!! HE wakes me up!!! I didn't wake up with any alarm clock for me to snooze which i usually did, when i finally get a seat in the church, the service get started. Praise GOD for that, I'M PUNCTUAL!!!

I had no idea why the blood inside me was burning, i almost sing the Christmas Song out loud while the world was still sleeping. In the church, everything was too good to be describe. I was so glad i'm back to GOD's home again. This was superb!!! I feel like weeping while I heard the soprano solo on What Child This Is. I knew very well what child that was but i had been away from HIM for ... only HIM knew how long. When i heard that song, i can feel HIS warm and comfort arm was holding me tight to HIM. The comfort and touch is beyong everything. Even if the world fades, HE will still be standing by my side. No matter how things getting worst, HE is still there, weeping together with me, HE is my only comforter. Only HE can give me the comfort where living mans in this world can't.

In this beautiful day of Christmas, where the weather was superbly good with the sun shinning bright outside from the rainy days past few weeks, i'm sitting right here with my Nescafe beside me posting my blog, praising our GOD. Before this day ever came, i felt so much excited that i started to plan a lot of places to go for this day. But, i end up sitting at home now with my handphone locked in my drawer in the office. This was all HIS will. HE wants me to stay with HIM in this beautiful days, so that nothing can distract me from being with HIM. How beautiful everything was.

Thank GOD.
Only YOU know what i really want
Only YOU can heard the shout of desire deep down my heart
Only YOU could understand me well than every living creature did
I feel so useless
There was so many lost soul out there
GOD please provide me strength and wisdom and everything that YOU can provide me
Let me be your tools to save them
I Love YOU GOD!!!

Twilight

This was such a romantic novel which i had been reading in my life time. I mustn't deny that i do feel an urged to get a boyfriend myself, hoping that my relationship with my guy will be like them as well. But, reality always too cruel to be known.

This was a real beautiful story. I had finish the first book of it and i'm gonna starting up with the second one now. Thanks to my best friend sending me the softcopy of this and let my day pass with the romance in the air. I think i might had been get too deep down into the story, until last night, i worp up at 3am, a sleepless night, dreaming about one guy whom it will never be real for me to see him. Erm, i don't mind telling who was that, the guy in my dream is DUNCAN JAMES. Weird huh!!! I myself cant believe it as well. But, no matter what, this is all not my point. Whatever i dreamt was a totally contrast from the Twilight.

In my dreamt, this Duncan had already married and already a father of one daughter. Towards the end of my dream, i can only conclude that there was a sound crying for regret on this guy. I think he's kindda like my ex and something like that and now he had married with another women and live in a happy life which i could never imagine. Weird again huh!!! I myself was shocked as well when i dream about things like this. All of this because of this romantic Twilight, makes me feel love is in the air (which is most impossible things to happen).

The author of the book Twilight -- Stephenie Meyer, i think is because she is a girl so she write more detail on how a girl feel deep inside. I was so impress with the way she describe the inner feeling of the character, though it's a little bit boring there. But, yeah, she was success. No wonder this book sells so much better than Harry Potter.

I'm gonna get myself into the cinema and see how's the director going to make this novel into movie without loosing any romance of the book. Well, i'm gonna continue with the second book now!!!

槟城。。。我爱你！！！

这一趟的行程，感觉上好像比以前短。但这一次，是真正让我对槟城改观的一趟。这一趟，除了买了很多东西、逛了两间商场，这趟也和上一趟一样呆在医院里面几乎一整天。唯一不同的是，这一趟我吃了超多东西的。我可以说是把所有槟城有名的东西都吃了，只要我的肚子允许的我都吃了。有到了槟城一定要吃的炒果条、能够做出五星级般的菜色的大炒、有名的路边摊吃着有名的糖水-cenddol、一家应有尽有而且风景又好的大牌档.....反正，只要你讲得出来，我应该都有吃到。果然，名不虚传，槟城真的真的是一个美食天堂。而且啊，我也开始明白为什么我们家两老从槟城回来后就对它念念不忘，现在的我就是这样。

这一趟能够过得这么难忘当然，有一个人我一定是要感谢的。如果没有他，我这趟行程就只会去商场和医院。而且啊，其实我这一次是身负重任的，是他把我捧在天上，让我觉得我像个公主一样。有些东西我不好意思开口的，他好像听见我内心的呐喊一样，一样一样的帮我实现。这个人可以说是看着我长大成人的，在我7-8岁开始就看见他，每个月带着一班男生到民都鲁。这种日子一直持续到现在，但现在只剩下他一个人来了。这个人对我们家影响也蛮大的，家里的风吹草动无法解决事，他就像是神派来的天使一样来为我们解决一切的难题。现在回想起来，我们家会认识他好像不是偶然的，而是上帝冥冥之中安排的。感谢主！！！而且啊，也是他让我看见，原来这个世界还有这么好的人存在着，还真得让我对男生有一点点的期望。哈哈！！！

反正，就是难忘啦！！！买了超多东西，因为下一次出门不知道是什么时候了，吃了超多东西.....从明天开始我不可能吃到这么多好吃的东西了。我要开始减肥了！！！可怜的我，拉肚子了！！！

食客

好久咯，都没有写'剧评'了。哈哈！！！严格来说，这部剧没有那么刺激。但，韩剧最了不起的一点就是－－慢工出细活。一路看下去才能感受到这部剧的美。我这几夜，每天就是这部剧陪我收行理。我好久都没有因为看连续剧而哭了，昨晚我哭到好想我就是剧里的人一样。还好我聪明，在夜深人静的时候看，所以就算我怎样哭也没人知道。

剧里的那位爷爷，真的很有感染力。他根本就不用演，他所有的言行举指都会让人有种心疼的感觉。尤其看见他一个老人家对那传统味道的坚持，而孩子又为了扩展事业而不顾那原有的味道，弟弟为了不让哥哥觉得身份受到威胁而选择放下刀子到处流浪。。。父亲连患病了也不说出来，所有的事都是自己一个人承受，叫人看了真的很痛心。韩剧的结局永远都是令人出乎意料的，不像港剧一样。这个结局看了，真的给人一种动力！虽然有一点点不是很明白，至少可以看见这两个兄弟对食物的热情。

不晓得会不会有人和我一样入戏会这么深和有耐心的把这部剧追完，但我觉得与其看那种针锋相对的戏，还不如看一看这种让人体会人生大道理的剧。看完了真得让我回味无穷！！！


一起努力打理“云岩亭”的三个青年人


剧里的主要人物
PS：看看那位老爷爷。。。有没有很想抱他的感觉？？？


超级漂亮的女主角


笑容一样灿烂的两个人

还是梦～～～

突然觉得，我这个人还真是有点悲哀呢，所有想做的事都只有在梦里能做到。不知道是不是因为新床太好睡的关系，害我连梦也都是超级甜美的梦。哈哈哈～～～

看见身边的朋友们一个一个的找到另一半，自己开始在担心是不是会孤独一生。虽然嘴上装做不在乎，但全身的血液已经沸腾到了一个极点，心里常常开始不断的重复的问：什么时候才轮到我？？？梦里面的那个女生，好像是我没错啊，但那个男生。。。（有点无言的说）。。。应该只有在梦里面有可能吧，这么久不见的人怎么会在我梦里出现呢？？？我宁愿那个男生是王力宏，这样我会比较认命，但。。。怎么偏偏就是他呢？？？可见他的影子仍然存在在我内心的某一处。但是，当我脑筋清醒时，回想起我们以前一起玩的时光，好像被冷水泼醒一样，因为那个男生曾经跟我说过，他喜欢长头发的女生。从此以后，我跟我自己说，我的头发决对不可以比我的耳朵长出10公分。

以前的我，刚刚出来一个人生活，不晓得外面的世界有多么黑暗。被磨练了五年的我，不敢说我100%成熟了，但至少我会分是非了。

谢谢蚊子姐姐

昨夜有点被那只蚊子姐姐给折磨死了，但也多亏了它让我做了这么美的梦。昨夜的梦里有我很喜欢见到的人，也有我很想再见的人。在现实生活中不可能的事，在梦里面都变成真的!!!还蛮爽的。

刚刚傍晚的时候啊，因为那个死弟弟睡着了不跟我开门，还我没家门进，那我就去书局逛了一下。结果不小心被我看到一个心理测验的书，我忘了那个问题是什么了，但我只知道-那个测验超准的!!! 它说啊，我到现在仍然是单身的原因是因为我的眼光太高，如果我放下我的眼光，肯定会有很多爱慕者出现!!! 看完这一篇，我真的很认真地在想，真的是这样吗??? 好像是也.....哈哈!!!

言归正传，我的梦!!! 我的门还蛮浪漫的，至少我个人是这么认为的。有人主动亲近我、贴着我，那种感觉还蛮舒服、满难为情的；在我无助的时候，有天使帮助我。而且啊，我的天使是一班哦，是俊男美女的那种哦，是那种只有在梦里会见到他们本人的哦!!! 但在这个梦里，被我很喜欢见到的人冷冷的对待，甚至到那种被打入冷宫的地步。

反正，梦还是梦。不管我有多希望它发生都好，它始终还是一个梦，永远不可能发生的。醒醒吧王新娣!!!

眼不明、脑不快、口太快

一生人第一次interview的我发现，原来也不过如此。真的很感谢主的带领，我原本想说我一定会紧张到不行。结果，我的心跳一直都是保持在80-90。我根本就像和一个老朋友在聊天一样。

可能还是一颗嫩芽的我，不晓得外面世界的丑陋。事情结束后的我第一时间就和家人报告这个喜讯，心里还真的有点意想不到事情就这么快成了，天真的我还以为家人听了应该会很高兴吧! 但，好像不是也。 我反而觉得他们的语气里充满惋惜的声音。都是因为我自己了，真的真的太太太天真了，还以为外面的世界真的是我想的那样。现在的我，明明有好消息，但心情一直快乐不起来。怎办？？？ 难到我真的就这样拒绝了吗？？？ 可是我好不容易遇到一个（听起来）是我梦寐以求的也，而且我找不到理由拒绝也。

或许人家就是看到我的嫩，所以决定给我。怎办？？？ 我真的要这样放弃吗？？？ 我真的不晓得明天要怎样回覆他们也，而且他们也是我第一次看见办事效率是世界无敌的快的一家。怎办？？？

主啊！！！怎办？？？ 拜托，教教我。 好烦哦！！！ 这种事，有也烦，没有也烦。。。气死我了！！！

Still Jobless

It's been 2 month away since the day i attended my graduation ceremony. Until now, i'm still sitting in front of the computer surfing for jobs opportunities, taking care of my beloved niece and nephew. I wonder whether my life ended here just like this, no challenge nor adventure. Everyone is telling me to take it easy. Well, of coz i do. But...how long can i be like this??? With my body mass increasing??? With my saving decreasing???? I had no idea how long am i going to stay like this. I'm praying real hard for this. Even when i'm walking, i'm standing, i'm posting my blog....

Is there no opportunities awaiting for me??? How am i going to find it??? I'm lost...

好久不见！！！

真的好久好久没写部落格咯，本小姐懒惰啦！还在失业的我，每天除了追戏以外就只会吃。我已经追了无数部港剧了，追了这么久我还是无业游民一个。完蛋了啦我！

昨天刚刚追完‘家好月圆’，不知道为什么啊，以前我追‘溏心风暴’的时候啊，入戏很深也！这次，或许人老了，思想没有那么堵塞了。哎，反正就是好戏一部啦！

不写了。。。不知道要写什么。等我找到第一分工了再update吧！

The Best Room I've ever slept

This is the room, the best room i've ever slept in. The bed is superb, the weather is superb, the tv is 32' plasma in every room, a DVD player, one table pc with broadband connection, daily supply of fresh food, a heater in the master bedroom, bath tab with bath salt provided, oral-B toothbrush provided (which i needed it the most coz i forgot to bring mine), a tv inside the toilet - above the bath tab....

I feel like i'm a queen!!! All the hard effort that i had been working on paid off with a bonus like this!!! Thank GOD!!!

Let me show some picture of the room.

(Pls ignore the shoes one the floor)
Pic 1: The office desk in the room, with a PC, fax machine and a super comfortable CEO chair. The M&M (yellow pack) on the table is FOC as welcome gift!!!

Pic 2: The super comfortable sofa in front of the 32' plasma TV

Pic 3: Bath Tab (the blue thing is the artistic bottle is the bath salt)

命中注定

孤独老人这个用词真的很适合用在我身上，因为我就是啊！不是我想的，而是我命中注定就是，挡也挡不住！有人在的地方，果然就有问题。如果这世界上就只有我一个，应该不会有这么多烦恼和问题出现吧！如果这世界上只有我一个人，那地球就不会暖化，天灾就不会一直来。

讲这么多都是废话，难怪会惹人厌。现在的我才明白为什么我身边的朋友一个一个离我而去。其实，这一切一切都很简单，就是因为我是孤独老人。孤独老人之所以有所称号是因为它不适合生存在人多的世界里，因为它不能融入这个复杂的世界。这个世界，每个人都是面善心恶，现实把每一个人压得喘不过气来，而且也是一个适者生存的世界。那，不适者怎办呢？灭亡。。。

我不晓得我说错了什么，吃错了什么，唱错了什么，笑错了什么。。。就这样被将一军，永远没有翻身的机会，我真的死得蛮惨的。我宁愿死得痛苦一点，也不要死得不明不白。

我生病了

其实我已经咳嗽咳了很久，原本想说它自己应该会好的吧（还以为自己身体的抵抗力有那么好）。看吧，越来越严重了。那些细菌已经进化成伤风的细菌，再进化成咳嗽的菌，又再进化成喉咙发炎的菌。它们这样不断的进化，终于我受不了了，去找医生去了。吃了三天的药，喉咙好像没有这么痛了，但咳嗽还是一样严重。我甚至咳到流泪＋失声，所以现在千万不要找我聊天，不然你会被我那'性感'的声音吓昏。哈哈！！！

7天后的我又要再一次搭上飞机，这次是去我的毕业典礼咯！！！好兴奋哦！！！最近半夜咳醒时自己就会开始在那里幻想一些有的没的。但是，现实还是现实。毕业了，然后呢？？？昨天也不晓得是吹什么，风竟然可以那么努力的一次过影印的4份履历表，放入信封贴上邮票寄出去。现在它们已经在天上飞咯！！！我姐说不用急啦，话是这么说没错，而且啊，我爸妈他们就趁我在家这段时间出国到中国大陆去观光咯！！！看见他们这么难得可以出去轻松一下又觉得，好像我不做工可以造就更多人也。哈！！！

不管了，有就有，没有就没有，不管了。

Empty

Congrats to LEE CHUNG WEI whom won a silver medal for Malaysia!!! OMG!!! What a victory he had won for Malaysia. Though the money he loose 70K but most of the money wont reach to himself though, this is a sensitive issue and it's not my main point here.

It's been the second month since i finish my last and final exam in Monash University and i'm still sitting here jobless. What i currently did everyday was eat, sleep, online until i don't remember the sun had gone to sleep, watching olympic games and make me quite crazy bout Michael Phelps....What a useless life i'm having right now. I wish i had some essay or reports or assignment for me to rush, like what i've done in Monash.

A far away friend of mine tell me that this is the time for me to get closed to GOD, spend some times with HIM before i don't have the time to spend with him. Well, this is true and which i have been forcing myself doing it everyday. Though my progress is kindda slow, but at least i still spend sometimes reading GOD's words. But....life is still life. I'm still empty.

This morning my mum tell me that there's one vacancy in SIBU (recommended by my bro-in-law's cousin, also my senior). Thank GOD that there's actually so many opportunity waiting for me outside. Just that....aiya....i don't know la!!!COMPLICATED is the word. I do feel it's quite good to work in SIBU, means its near to my hometown, and i knew him well....but my problem is....i knew him too well...I mean that senior of mine who recommend this job to me. If i do apply means i'll have to work with him and it's WEIRD for me. But i don't want to stay empty like this ler....HAI....

COMPLICATED....

I'm Back!!!

Praise GOD for my safe journey back and forth to the OCZ outreach. Thank GOD for everything that HE had done on us. There's a number of things for me to Thank GOD for and i most probably won't be able to finish it within one day.

My journey start here:

We gather in PeaceHeaven, Genting to attend the conference prior to the outreach. Everything was just too great to be describe in words. Holy Spirit had touched each and everyone of us who had attended the journey. It was here that i meet up my team (outreach to Taiwan).

Team to Taiwan!!!

I know what is in your mind right now. YES, i'm the one and only precious PRINCESS in the team. HAHAHAH!!! At first i do feel struggle a bit, but things gets too well then i can even handle. Praise GOD!!! For HE knews all my worries hence help me handle it.

Praise GOD again our flight landed safely in TaoYuan airport where the day we landed in the airport was the first day of typhoon day which was graded as 11 and was considered as serious!!! GOD's is with us all the time. We were sent to one small community called BAIFU in KEELUNG to serve together with the church. There was a slight change in plan but everything was still fine. In this small church which our team had been serving together with, it consist of 80% of youth and with the average members of 60. We had evangelistic teaching to the church leaders, open aired evangelistic meeting where we did mime in the park and on the cross road of the street with our face painted.

SCARRY PEOPLE....

We did Prayer Walk where we distribute fliers to the people we meet on the street, and faith trip where each of us are separated into different group. The most challenging part is the faith trip where we are not allowed to bring any money with us but we were sent to one spot to complete our mission such as sharing the gospel with student of the university or eat the most famous food in that area but without using any money!!! It's the first time ever in my life time that i kindda like begged for money in the MRT station to travel back to our church.

Me with my faith trip group in MRT station, preparing back to church.

OK....done with our missionary work. NOW, is the SHOPPING and FOOD MINISTRY!!! WAHAHAHA....the food there was superb!!! You won't imagine how many things we all had been eaten. Even the 7-11 there was superb man!!! We loved the 7-11 so so much until we go to the 7-11 for supper or afternoon tea or whenever we feel like craving for food for at least 3 times a day. WE LOVED 7-11 which we never did in Malaysia. Shopping Ministry is my part where i almost make all of my team mates mad because of my shopping madness. HA!!!

MY SUCCESS....

Well, overall....the trip is such a memorable trip. Though in between i had been facing so much trouble and messy thing, THANK GOD for everything. I can see the HE is holding my hands to guide me walk through all those hard times. I LOVED YOU SO MUCH GOD...more than i loved anyone on earth. If next year GOD allows me to go for this outreach again, i wont hesitate and willing to take another challenge. PRAISE GOD HALLELUYAH FOR ALL HE HAD DONE!!!

Break Time

Guess what!!! I'm in Taiwan Ji Lung now, in a small town which is as big as Bintulu. Now is our break time since our pack schedule since the day we arrive here. Though it's a small town but it's full of foods and supermarket especially those 24 hour mart. I so so so so love the 7-11 here. We all spend at least 20mins inside. The drinks was all awesome, the packing looks gorgeous and the most important thing is that i found the lipton tea drink got leehom face printed on the packing and which i had tried all of them. The only things which we all cannot stand is the weather. The first days we arrive here is the first day of the typhoon days. Erm, it sounds scarry but actually it's just normal rainy days. Thank God there's been shiny sunlight for two days.

We'll gonna involve in an open aired evangelistic meeting later at 3pm which was kindda exciting where we gonna do some face painting and do some mime with it. Imagine that -- WE DO THAT IN A PUBLIC PLACE!!!! I cant imagine how am i gonna look like with the face paint on my face. I don't dare to think and don't want to think but just leave it to GOD. No matter what's gonna happen i'm just gonna GO FOR IT!!!!

And last but not least.....the food here is SUPERB MAN!!!!! Everything is so so so nice!!!! U can't believe how nice it is. Everything is just gorgeous!!! And i tell u, u try to imagine that -- in one small town like Bintulu, there's super super lot's of food for us to eat. And today is the fourth day we are here and i think we just manage to taste about 20% of the food. IT'S AMAZING!!!! And the people here are GORGEOUS!!!! The people from this small church are so nice, so exciting to see us coming, so 're qing'!!!!

I LOVE TAIWAN.....but i'll definitely not goin to come again during summer time which even we from tropical country cannot stand the heat here. OMG!!!!!

原始的兴奋

放假没事干的我无意间发现msn video里有Backstreetboys演唱会的video。身为他们的忠实粉丝的我当然不可能错过啦！结果就一屁股坐在电脑前、speaker开的有点大声的、目不转睛的对着monitor，一看就是76分钟。看完后，只有一个字可以形容我－－hyper!!!那个情绪真的和那些嗑过药的人是一样的，就是兴奋、亢奋...我之所以会这么激动当然也是有原因的啦，不然我干嘛没事自high啊？神经病啊我。因为msn po 的那常演唱会,他们的曲目编排和我本人去看的那一场（在sunway surf beach)是完全一样的。所以会特别的激动，好像我也在现场一样。

我好久好久都没有这么激动过了。人生啊，就是要有点起浮，不然说实话还真的是蛮闷的说。就像现在的我呀，根本就是过着猪的生活，每天过着宅女的生活，只能用一个字－闷来形容。孤庇的我，如果没事的话是不会踏出家门口半步的（店不算〕，就连教堂也懒的去，因为只要想到我的出现就会像熊猫一样一直被注视着，心里就不舒服。而且还会有打不完的招呼、重复又重复的问题结答、勉强自己皮笑肉不笑...等等。还是在家好！对着那两个小瓜就够我受的了。还好有他们两个，让我的日子忙碌一点点。

闷啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

思念

大城市和小城市的生活就是有差。我好像已经习惯忙碌的生活，现在突然要我静下来我还真是超级无敌的不习惯也。其实家里有好多好多的事情是要我做的－－家务啦、司机啦、保姆啦...感觉我好像应该很忙吧！但其实懒惰的我什么都不做。回家真的而且是100％会发胖，因为只要我眼睛一挣开我都在吃东西，而且家人好像怕我饿死一样，一直拼命的叫我吃，如果我不吃好像很奇怪。

我才回来一个星期，原本想说放假了可以静静坐下来好好享受我的假期，怎知。。。原来不行也！回来这里，没有GYM、没有我爱喝的咖啡、没有我熟悉的教堂、没有可以让我逛街的地方、没有和我一起玩的朋友们。。。怎办呀！！！才一个星期也。。。我还想说要休息到够够的也。。。。

还好，我要去OCZ了。。。台湾我来了！！！但又很担心我自己没有这么大的能耐，真的好怕我会像他常骂我的－－等你到台湾去，看你还敢不敢嫌三嫌四、台湾没人愿意载你，看你怎么办、去到台湾不要哭着吵着要回家。。。讨厌啦！！！偏偏就是被你讲中。。。这些东西我真的不是普通的担心也。

为我加油吧！！！

我走了！

时间过得好快，以前啊，我每天说时间过得很慢，为什么我一直不会毕业的？现在，我（暂时）可以宣布我毕业了！五个小时后我就会在天上飞了，心情真的超沉重地说。在这里的喜怒哀乐，所有的一切就好像在看电影一样的在flashback，这个房间从一无所有到满满的，现在又归回空荡荡。奇妙吧！

我好讨厌这种分离的感觉。虽然我知道我还会再回来，但我不再以一个学生的身份来了，而是以一个过路客的身份来这里度假。这五年来，我的人生里面出现的超多的过路客。说真的，虽然我每次嘴上说我记不得他们的名字，但他们的样子是深深地印在我的脑海里，我记得的。在这里所有的感情是我前所未有的，我会把这一切好好收藏起来，让自己慢慢的回味！

人真的好软弱哦！每每面对生离死别就是要这么痛苦。一定要为我加油哦！我好怕哪天我就这样放弃了，因为我真的没有信心踏入这个黑暗的社会虽然这是必经之路。

大家一起加油吧！
朋友们！
加油加油加油！！！

不变的事

每天几乎都会听到-这个世界变咯、气候在变咯、经济在变咯...但今天，我发现一件...也是唯一一件没有在改变的东西=自私的人心！我每次都在说，就是因为人心险恶，搞到人心惶惶、世界不再美丽。而我一直都自觉很幸福，因为我还没遇到这些不幸的事。原来生活在这个丑陋的世界里的我是逃不过这一劫的！好人永远都是被欺压的那个，坏人永远都是成功的那个。

人心难道就可以这样被糟蹋的吗？
人心难道就应该这样被践踏的吗？
难道人心就不会破碎吗？
难道人心就不会有感觉吗？
难道人心就不会流血吗？

为什么这个世界可以腐坏到这种程度？
为什么这个世界可以充满这么多邪恶？
为什么人可以自私到这种程度？
你高兴难道就代表我也要高兴吗？
你兴奋难道我就必须要跟着兴奋吗？
你生气难道我就要顺从你吗？
那你把我当什么？
你的宠物吗？
没有情感的动物吗？
和耶稣一样被人践踏也不会发出一句怨言的伟人吗？

我说的话一直被忽视、一直被轻看
我的存在一直被遗忘、一直被嫌弃
等等等等....
这一切的一切我都忍下来了
但最令我痛心的是
竟然连我的感觉也被忽视
竟然连我的感觉也....
我不想用一些很难听的字

谢谢你们让我看清你们的真面目
谢谢你们再一次提醒我-世界的丑陋
谢谢你们再一次提醒我-不应该这么积极
谢谢你们再一次提醒我-人是自私的
谢谢你们再一次令我失望
谢谢你们教会我什么叫铁下心来
多亏你们
让我有这么痛心失望的回忆

我好后悔我为什么回来
我好后悔我为什么要撑着疲惫的身体赶路
我好后悔我为什么相信你们
我好后悔我给你们机会
到头来
痛苦的人是我
路是你们选的，我也只能所抱歉了