好混乱 30/10/2007

今天是我第一天考试，而且今天的这张是我重考的，所以没有那么紧张因为都已知道格式了。等了两个星期，终于等到这一天的来临了。还真是有点期待它快快的过，但这一段时间也是最苦的。没关系啦，忍一忍然后就可以去玩啦！而且这一次我特地多留一个星期在这里，多亏我民智的决定让我能够见到两年没见的绮敏，还真是蛮期待的。

其实在这一段所谓的study week其间，我好像也没有很用力的在温书。去运动那个不算啦，我就还会往外跑啊。新开张的Pyramid 2就来被我走烂了！加上多了一位‘姐妹’陪伴一起逛街，当然感觉就不一样啦！也不知道从什么时候开始和那位‘姐妹’的关系突然‘突飞猛进’，连我自己也有点觉得不可思议。我们真的好到一种很令人误会的程度，就连睡我隔壁房的都会常常问我一些他的事啊之类的，而且严重到一种程度就是就连一个跟我不是很熟的（也有一起去运动过的）朋友都会把我们俩送做堆。起初在身边的人还没有这些反应的时候，我还真的没有想这么多。就真的觉得多了一个很要好的‘姐妹’。

至于为什么我会一直称他为‘姐妹’呢，其实是有原因的。因为，他真的比姐妹还姐妹。你可以想象吗，一个大男人竟然可以在大庭广众和老伴在那里讨价还价（之类的）！！！怎么可能！就连我也做不出这种事。而且啊，有哪个男生带的包包是那种购物袋啊？就是那种披在肩上的！怎么可能！连我的也最起码事业个背包呢！和他走在一起就会觉得我和他的身份是调换的，我是男生而他是女生。我们有时候在打打闹闹的时候啊，我们也会互相提醒他每天在对着一个男生而我是每天在对着一个女生。哇哈哈！好笑吧！

或许就因为这样，我觉得和他一起出去玩很轻松。就觉得，我可以是我自己而不需要在乎别人会怎样看我。想笑大大声就笑大大声、想喷口水就喷口水、想讲一些我平时不讲的话就毫无考虑的讲出来（而且他也是这样）。好轻松！不知道从什么时候开始，这种感觉就已经离我而去。而我也渐渐忘记这种感觉了。所以只要是他叫到，我几乎都不会说不的，就当时出去疏解压力咯。

最近的我，思绪里又多了一个影子出现。这个影子应该是遥不可及的，就像我喜欢王力宏的那种感觉一样。而这几次和他有多一点的接触后发现，原来我还真是个花痴啊！还真是有点笨！从昨天开始，那种感觉就少了很多！因为就发现原来他并不是我想象中的那样。有期待就有失望吧！感谢主！主真是最了解我，他知道哪些是对我是无畏的，所以都会慢慢的帮我清除。感谢主！

溏心风暴2

这几天总算把所有的功课都交上的，所以就把溏心风暴再看一次。不知为什么，以前看到常在心和程亮两人的问题就觉得很不想看下去。就觉得他们两个人的关系搞到我这个看的人很累。现在，再一次看一遍突然觉得感触良多。

常在心这么用心的为她和程亮的感情付出，而程亮他因为一时的贪念而和常在心最好的朋友染上。整部剧里，就觉得常在心很可怜、很痛苦、很累。

我不会为常在心觉得不值，也不会因为程亮的过失而讨厌他。我只是觉得，一段感情就是这样，一定会有过渡期。只要你熬过这一段痛苦又漫长的过渡期，往后的日子就没有什么好忧虑的了。但是，在现在这个世界，如果每个人都这么努力的在为自己的感情付出及珍惜，那离婚率就不会这么高、为清闹自杀的人就不会越来越多。现在对自己所可以得到的东西往往都觉得不足够，以至有这么多的问题出现。这部剧里有些台词真的很有道理，让我在看的同时也可以学习到一些人生的哲学。

感情这种东西，还真是又期待又怕受伤害呀！不知道从什么时候开始，所有的男生对我来说都好肤浅。专家说的果然没错，男生是用眼睛来思考而女生是用心来思考的。神的创造好奇妙哦！这样不同的两种人怎样能够结合呢？好多人都会对我说，我等待的那一位还未出现。而我会觉得，为什么一定有一位是我等待的呢？难道，我不可以一个人过吗？为什么一定要我等呢？难道我不可以自己去找寻和我心意的那一位吗？这一切的一切，我已经问过千百遍。如今，我已不想再问了。我深深的相信，神已经有我的答案只不过他觉得我还没预备好。这个答案或许会很令人痛心，又或许会很令人开心，但这一切都不是我们-人可以掌权的。唯一的掌权者是那位尊贵的天父。

在我的字典里，爱情是一个遥不可及的东西。说我不想要有一段感情是骗人的，但我不会麻木的让我自己随随便便进入一个感情的圈套，为的是要保护我自己。如果自己都不保护自己，那谁还会来保护自己呢？就像我现在这样，生病了也没什么大不了的嘛。只不过是半夜会咳嗽咳到醒来甚至会咳到流泪。这就是身体在抗议了！抗议我为什么没有好好照顾我自己，搞到现在这么痛苦。当然，多一个人在我身边关心我照顾我这种日子真的好幸福好令人期待，但是谁有那么多美国时间无时无刻在你身边提醒你要做这个不做那个的？就算真的有，我应该会觉得他很烦吧！

人就是这样咯！想又不是，要有不敢。做自己吧！不要想这么多，我还有一大堆书要读呢！

Energetic

Today is 27/10....n my first paper is on 30/10...which means i have 3 more days to go to reach my d-day!!! To be honest, i cant wait for that particular day to come and even hope for it to end....i cant wait for 8/11 where i'll b totally free!!!Everyday whenever i'm lockin myself at home, i'll always feel sleepy and in low batt mode. The situation will get worst when i sit in front of the table with my notes and books open. Why am i always so low batt??? This time i definitely can feel d FAIL words comin again....

Yesterday, as usual when i went to spinning class...and after all the workout and shower...Bryan tell me that i'm very energetic. Coz the class seems to be very easy for me....Whua....i cant believe that!!!! It's the first time ever there's someone use that word one me....i just too shock....Thanks for his words also, i do feel energetic that whole day.

Then when this mornin, when i was readin my daily bread, i read a article on a lazy man who was sooo lazy to do whatever things which he thinks is difficult...his father was so worried bout him so he ask around of his friends in order to get him one easy job....then one day, one friend come and tell his father that he have a nice and easy job order for his son....that's been a guard at the graveyard! All he have to do is just sit there and guard. Then after 10 days, the guy quit his job. He tell his father that it's not fair for him to sit there but all the people around him lyin there.

WHUA!!!! After i've read this article ho....there's like a big slap on my face....i almost become tat young man!!! I've finally wake up!!! All the while i've been sleeping....i'm just like that young man...whenever i started to read, i'll feel sleepy...what's the different between me n d young man????

From now onwards,i'll swear to get fully charged whenever i study....use the words that Bryan had used on my wisely....

Love is in d air....

Yes Yes Yes!!!! I swear i'll go to the mornin combat cls....Yes Yes!!!At first i was just trying my luck to sit outside of the class tryin to cool myself down, just wanted to see whether he'll come and talk to me o not....and he does!!!WAHAHA!!!!He ask me-'mou dok shu meh?' wahahaha....then he ask me to come again for d combat class later in the evening....seriously, before he ask me that i've never thought of coming to another combat class again....then my heart is kindda like...shaken when he ask me that....WAHAHAHA!!!!

Honestly, the combat class just now wasn't really tiring like the normal one. And we also didn't work on our core muscle as well. So, it's kindda like...not enough for me....later went back home i'll do it myself....hahaha....back to the combat class just now...there's only 5 people in the class....and 3 out of 5 are first timer....so he teach so detail just now....first time ever i've attended a combat class with the instructor standing in front of u tellin u how to do ur posture right....first time ever....and with him!!!!Wahahaa....

Wahahaha....Wahahaha....Wahahaa....just let me laugh to myself now....i just cant stop it!!!! Wahahaha!!!!

The Dream I Had

There's something i must shout it out loud here.... o else i'll seriously get mad!!!

This morning when i was suppose to force myself out of the bed, i get back to sleep again and this is the time where i had the weirdest dream i've ever had....this dream interrupts my emotion for the whole day where i cant concentrate on my study...the dream keep on popping out in front of me....it's weird...and it looks sooo real....

Well, actually, it's not the first time i've been dreaming bout instructor....but this time....it's d most...how should i say....i've never thought of that instructor will ever come into my mind....it's sooo soooo real....and when just now i get into his class, when we use to clap each other hand, there's some kind of 'electric shock'....i had no idea what that....weird...i don't want to have that feeling....although he is a supa nice instructor which motivates me a lot....but i've never thought of he become the main character in my dream as well....i just....cant believe that!!!

HELP....HELP....HELP!!!!! Help me get rid of all these stupid things....i'd try to keep myself busy and not thinking bout watever i've seen in the dream this morning....it makes me feel bad...and interupt my emotion so badly.....PLEASE....GOD....Giv me wisdom...to stop myself from all these stupid things.....

I'm sick

It's been a long time since the last time i fell sick....i was the one who din take care of myself...i din drink enough water then cause dehydration inside my body....tat day when i stay awake the whole nite just to finish tat stupid genomics report, i already feel not good....tat day i din really go to toilet....i mean for the big one....i'll go for the big one...daily ler....but tat particular day i din...so i know there's something wrong inside...

then on friday, when i was lying on the bed trying to recover all my sleep from the previous nite...i just feel like i'm having difficulties to sleep....i can feel the heat coming out from my bed....it's hot....then only i realized the heat comes from myself....the whole nite i din sleep well and there's mosquitoes keep on biting me becoz of my high body temperature that attract them....

again on the next day, saturday, the volcano had finally erupted....every heat goes up to the head and it pains like hell....i seriously feel like i wanted to bang my head on the wall to make myself feel better....somemore tat nite is another busy nite for me working at church....i feel so so uncomfortable tat nite and just feel like lyin on my bed instead of standing there cleaning all the mess....it wasn't mean that i'm unwilling to clean up the church but....jus....tired....

now...my throat always feels ichy....especially in the morning.....there's no one take care of me here so i have to take care of myself....no one will pass me medicine or bring me food....i'll have to do everything all by myself....there's always GOD besides me...instead of man....

I feel like 1 2 kill myself

Wat is this kind of life i'm having now....all of the report due on the same days....somemore d lecture had rejected my extension....Wat kind of world this is. Y is there no kindness??? I do have the faith in myself that i can finish it these two days by skipping my sleeping time. But, i don't know where to start and wat to do. That's the things that i fear most. It's not the matter of time. God created 24 hours per day means that it's enough for us to do what we wanted to do in one whole day. Somemore i have more than 48 hours to do this two big assignments and report. Time is not the factor but it's me. I'm the one that is stupid and cant understand whatever we're doing in the lab. I'm stupid....stupid...stupid....

I seriously have the thought of killing myself now.....then i wont face all the suffer i have in this world. But....to be honest....i don't think GOD will let me go into the heaven with such a irresponsible me....He wont let me go to heaven this easily by just jumpin from a high rise building or watever....This must the challenge that GOD sets for me....HE believe that i can do all these things with the time HE gaved. Y should i disappoint HIM? There are sooo many people out there have faith in me.....I'M NOT GOIN TO SHOW MY WHITE FLAG TO ANYONE AND ANYTHING!!!!

NIKE~~JUST DO IT!!!!

ADDIDAS~~~IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!!!

Low Energy

I've get back here in Monash Library typing my blog again....I've come back from my one week break. It wasn't a break for me, i've got tons of work to do. Those lecturer are evil....they set the due date for all of the subjects on one same day and same time....what the hack?!?!They thought we are supernatural is it?Well, that's no big deal actually. It's my last year in Monash and i've kindda get use to this kind of life but i always feel "low battery" these days....i just cant gather up my energy and do my work. Whenever i start up my comp, i'll just stare at my desktop (stare at my wallpaper-me n Stephanie) and do nothing. I just feel blur and down everyday. Whenever i c my lab manual i'll feel bad, my eyes will even fills with tears. I don't know anything for my reports and i cant find anyone who can help me. I just feel useless. I feel like i'm stupid and i cant do anything. I'm just tired and down. I'm trying so so hard to gather my energy now. Well, the combat yesterday to help me a lot. I work so hard that i can feel my thigh now. I so so love combat. I work so hard till i can see the effect on my arms and thigh. I like that!!!

On the day when i've get down from the plane and reach subang, there's a bunch of my frens ask me out for dinner before i step my foot in to my house. Thank GOD for them. At first i seriously feel very down and low power when the plane had landed. They all cheer me up!!!Thank GOD for them. That's the reasons why i like to be with them recently. I think there might have some 'whisper' out there asking bout me n the guy that i always used to be together with. HAHAHA!!!! So funny. I know sometimes we both is like....more than normal friends. Erm, i admit that we are more than friends. At least i feel that. We are 'sister'!!! WAHAHA!!! Don't worry, i wont get into relationship this early. The door for relationship in my heart had closed for long. For me, i've three stages of friends. First stage or the lower stage is the nomal friends where i only say HI to, second stage are most of the friends that i had, third and the highest stage are those can knew the inside of me like you (who r reading my blog now!!!) or someone that i like to play with. Haha!!! You should be proud with that!!!

Whatever....i don't care whether there's someone outside hate me a lot o wat...i don't care!!! Nobody is perfect. I just need to be myself, there's no point for me to change because of the environment or wat. Me is Me. I'd only change myself for the earth. SAVE THE WORLD!!! I do believe that the scene we see in 'The Day After Tomorrow' will happen one day like the flood in GENESIS. I do believe that!Get Prepared!!!

Black Friday -- 5/10/2007

In 3 days time i'll be on the plane flying back to my beloved hometown again. How time flies....for this week i feel like i have difficulity to breath....there's been too many things pop up right in front of me for me to do it....my assignment of coz...choir stuff....family....workout....u might probably think that there's something that i can put aside and do the important ones first...especially d workout part....i'd guarrantee u if i stop goin to workout, i'll definitely had commit suicide in my room without anyone notice. That's d only way i can release all of my stress....especially going into the combat n balance class....of course, the instructor do affect as well....i like Yvette as the balance instructor.....her posture is so so so accurate and motivates me whenever i'm in her class.

It seems happy then i'm going back home again. But it's totally different situation. After the one whole week, i'll have all my homework due....ALL u know....everything for every subject....i'll have 3 reports and 1 project for one subject that have to be passed up on d first week of Oct and another one big assigment....This is crazy!!!Somemore there are 3 same things due on the same day!!!Crazy!!!Wat the life i have here in Monash.....I cant wait to get rid of the life here in Monash and the life here in Sunway....I cannot face all those stress all by myself....I'm just not that strong.....I'll definitely collapse all by myself....

May GOD provide me wisdom on time management and a strong body.....Keeps me motivated....i cannot give up....my family needs me....i must not disappoint them....I CANT!!! I must stand up tall myself then only i can help them....i have to be strong....

RUSH HOUR 3 13/9/2007

我终于看了这部戏！！！人家就来下映了我才来看，慢很多拍吧！谁叫我人缘不好，又专喜欢看一些别人不喜欢看的戏，昨天有人愿意跟我一起去看已经很不错了。但原来等到那部戏就快下映时去看是很轻松的，有没有试过买戏票不用排队？而且位子任你选呢！哈哈！！！

说真的，看了这部戏真的很开心。可能是因为上个礼拜看见成龙本人所以只要有他的出现都是好戏吧。真的感觉不一样呢，看见他本人甚至于他的互动真的是很好的宣传呢！但还是说老实的一句吧，这部戏真的没有前两集来得好。当然还是有典型Chris Tucker搞笑的部分，但还是觉得前两集比较好。这种戏，说真的，看了只会觉得把自己不开心的情绪发泄出来，没有什么特别的意义呢。成龙他自己接受访问时也说过啊，他说想拍一些比较有意义的电影。好期待哦！！！

突然发现，我好喜欢他哦！应该是说我好佩服他哦！他真的不是说说而已，只要他说过的他都会做。这样才叫男人嘛！！！这种男人在这个世界已经绝种了啦！现在的男人能顾好自己就已经算很不错了。

Stephanie Au - my role model

I cant imagine how the time flies....it's wednesday now and which means next week i'll be headin back to my hometown again!!!WUHUHU!!!And i cant believe that it's last week that i've meet the Hollywood Superstar and my role model....I feel like it's only yesterday day tat all this things happen....

I've been recently google-ing Stephanie Au in order to get more of her information. Unfortunately she is not a star so it's kindda limited info for me to gather. But however, i found out that she is a Norwegian Born Chinese....WOW!!! No wonder her English sounds so so so different from me....i can still remember the way she speaks....i admire her so so much since the first day i see CF in midvalley where there's a huge poster on her n Jackie....she is so so so fit and beautiful!!!!

I'd like to her like her one day....i know that there's some part of my body where i cannot slim it down, so all i can do now is to make it look fit....now, whenever i stand, i'll tuck in my abs and straighten my whole posture....it's kindda tired at the back at first but when i look in the mirror, it's different.....u can try that yourself....feel more confident in yourself when u did that....i like that feeling....all the while i've been hunching and feel that i look fat and do not have the confidence in the way i look....exercise really helps a lot....i not only help to make u get more healthy but also increase ur self confident....also it's the best way to release stress!!!!Hahaha.....

I hope to see Stephanie again during the time whereby i was still studying here....i cant wait to see her again.....

I see Jackie Chan!!!!

Last Saturday (8/9/2007) is the most exciting weekend i've ever had in my life....wahaha....i cant wait to speak it out loud here!!!! Okok...let me go straight into the point....(now smiling to myself coz too happy!!!)....

It's the Hollywood star--Jackie Chan in Sunway Pyramid!!!! WAHAHA!!!! I've finally see him in person ler!!!! Wahahaa!!!! Wait....it might not convince u by just listen to me here....let me show u my evidence....

Pic 1: Jackie Chan walking down from the stairs case with a bunch of guards inside California Fitness Pyramid

Okok....i know it's kindda blur....hei...i'm not using a professional digital camera ok, i'm just using my N73 to take that pic....hahaha, promote my hp pula....then after tat, he go to the skating area to attend the Grand Opening Session of course with some performance there (not by him of coz)....then after that, he went back to the main entrance of the gym.....

Pic 2: Jackie showin his hand model

Pic 3: Jackie with California Fitness CEO and another Datuk....(dunno who he is)

After this, he get back to one room for the press conference...of coz we are not allowed to go in...so we just stay outside n watch!!!

Pic 4: Jackie inside the room sayin HI to us outside....

Then, he will conduct a class together with Stephanie Au, the main JC Boxercise instructor from HK. Stephanie Au is the gal that u can see on d wall in front of California Fitness, she is a super super super beautiful gal and super super super nice gal....and professional instructor!!!She is so so so fit u know!!!When i see her, she motivates me a lot....for doing exercise.....and ho....the next day ho, when i was walkin around in midvalley, i accidentally meet here there in the NIKE shop!!!!WOW.....then i walk up and call her....i dun care whether she remember me o not....just wanna talk to her....hahahah

Pic 5: Me and the beloved Stephanie Au

Pic 6: Jackie Chan lecturing about JC Boxercise

Here comes the most most most important pic of all!!!!Cindy Wong with Jackie Chan!!!!WUHUHUHU!!!!Just Believe that!!!!This is true!!!!

Pic 7: Me and Jackie Chan!!!!!

WAhahaha...exciting ler!!!I also shake hand with him....he is such a nice person....wherever we stand, watever we do, he'll keep on reminding us to becareful!!!and....whenever he saw small children there, he'll touch d kid's face and smile to him/her automatically....he is so so so so nice!!!!he is a good lecturer as well....he encourage girls to do more boxing exercise....so...from now onwards, i'll go to every boxing class....

Jackie Chan is here in Sunway Pyramid

Wahaha....i cant wait for that....i'll b there n attend his class....cant wait to see this international superstar face to face....i can imagine that i club must be overloaded, but i dun care...as long as i can see him in person that will be enough....and i want to take his pic.

I was too excited last night until i woke up in the middle of the night starting to imagine d situation later in d club and the shopping mall....imagine i'm in d class with him as the instructor....wow!!!I cant wait for that....although now my muscle still pain, but who cares....as long as i can see him in person everything will be worth it!!!

Hohoho!!!Count down in 4 hours time.....huh...huh....huh....*heart beats increasing*

Some interesting pic

pic 5 ~~~ HOLY....

pic 4 ~~~ OS: 为何人生道路越走越寂寞?




Pic 3~~~(continuous pic) ***ABUGEK*** OS from street fighter!!!

Pic 2~~'Yao Yeng'...hahaha

Pic 1~~Kes Rompak di hadapan Maybank ATM machine.....berhati-hati semasa tekan-ing duit....

回家咯！！！

现在的我坐在机场的椅子对着丢电脑发呆！因为我的班机延迟了！气死我！干吗不早跟我说啊，还我一大早就起来了，这还不重要反正我每天都这么早醒，重点是：我千里迢迢来到这里，而且好不容易等到柜台开了你才跟我说班机延迟了，要等四小时才飞！你说气不气？一大早受的苦，淋的雨，流的汗。。。一切都白费了！！！还好在机场这个地方还允许我上网，不然我肯定疯了！！！

这次回到这么突然其实是要回去看我妈啦。你可以想象一个老人家双手不能动，吃喝一切都要人帮吗？我想象不到。虽然心里已经有所准备啦，但还是觉得心疼。原本我想就这样消失的，但不知为什么一大早起来诸事不顺。虽然我有祷告说让我就这样静悄悄的回去，但我觉得神应该是要让我知道有人是关心我的。我不是说不让人关心，而我只是不喜欢一直重复的被人问及回答同样的问题。所以最终我还是说啦！管它啦，让他们八卦一下咯，反正他们的日子也有点太风平浪静了。

肚子还真是有点饿呢，那我就在这优先‘公司’的机场找东西吃去咯！哈哈！！！

STRESS STRESS!!!!!!

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH..............That's wat i feel now....i feel like i'm having difficulty in breathing.....i have 2 real big report due on monday n tuesday.....AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH......That's not the point.....d point is....i dunno how to do....actually i'm not the only one who don't know how to do.....there's whole lot of ppl struggling out there.....Thank GOD that the demo gav us a final and one and only discussion about it....at least there's some guidelines there.....but....i'm still stress up!!!! I still don't know how to do....with my limited mind i cant!!!! I'm not clever....i'm a little bit stupid i should say....die die die die die....i'm sooooo stress up now....i don't know what to do now....just stare at the word document and......stare at it....die die die.....

last nite it's like.....huh!!!Terrible....whenever i sleep, i can see all the words flying around....i even dreamt that there's someone teaching me how to do it....actually, i have the confident to finish it within this two days....but it's just.....i don't know how to do!!! It's even worst than i cant finish it!!!!!

May GOD help me....giv me enough strength to fight for this two reports....provide me wisdom so that i can do all the questions and also able to divide my time efficiently....AMEN!!!!

惹人厌的我 20/8/2007

刚去完合唱营回来，真的很感恩我有这种恩赐，让我能在诗班侍奉。至从被人选为班长至今，每天都觉得自己什么都不会。每次诗班又紧急状况时我都帮不上忙，甚至会觉得不管我的事。‘班长’这个名称真的很重。去完合唱营回来后，我开始有不一样的想法。或许在行政方面我真的不行，但在唱歌方面我真的很感恩主赐给我这个恩赐。每次诗班练唱时我都有一股莫名的力量，不管我那天的精神如何，我在诗班里面就是会尽心尽力的去唱。很感恩我能够参加这次的合唱营。营会里的每一位老师都很用心的教导我们，我不知道别人会不会这样认为，但我很清楚知道我在这次营会里学到很多东西也看见不一样的东西。感谢主！

在这两天的集训里面，一班人一起进进出出，感觉更亲密了。我也看见了一些很令人痛心的事实，就是-原来我是那么的惹人厌的。这两天里面，除了和另一位姐妹一起搞气氛以外，根本就没有人想和我多说一句话。我甚至觉得他们根本就是勉强自己和我坐在同一桌吃饭。每个人跟我说话都是战战兢兢的，都是一些客套话，都不是因为想跟我讲话而跟我讲话。我承认，如果我遇到我不认同的topic时我会极力反对，因我觉得每个人都有不同的看法，我只是把我的看法提出来而已，你不一定要接受我的看法啊！我就是这样被人讨厌吧！管它的，我为什么要因为别人而改变自己？我就是我！主把我创造成这样我没有必要去改变我自己。

眼不见为净-这句话应该是他们的心里话！从今以后只有星期天我会出现，其他的时间我会尽量避免。自己一个人也可以很开心啊！

I"M SO SO SO SORRY!!!!

I feel i've always a trouble maker. No matter where am I or who i'm with, tat person will always have trouble. I just don't know why i'm such an unlucky person. I cant control it. I just don't know why.....PLEASE GOD....TEACH ME WAT AM I GOIN TO DO....

it's my fault that she lost that much of money....if it's wasn't my stubbornness she wont purposely went out n buy me dinner....n she wont meet all those weird ppl....n she wont....she wont....she wont cry for whole nite and lost herself....i feel sooo sooo sooo guilty...i just don't know why that i'm sooo sooo sooo unlucky.....i always bring all these kind of unluckiness to other ppl.....i...i didn't mean it....if i know this kind of things will happen, i swear i wont eat dinner....

Now that everything is too late...i cant....i cant...i cant....i cant do anything but only feelin guilty whenever i c her face....i don't have any face to c her anymore....i feel that whenever she c me she'll remember d thing.....I swear to myself....it's tough to lose one fren....but it will be tougher for her to remember her nightmare everyday.....i'd rather quit....it hard to me to tell her what i feel here....i'd write up to her n apologize...i just hope that everything is seriously going to be fine....though the probability is low....please....i just want her to be happy....i'll swear....i will try to avoid her...avoid from everyone startin from today onwards...i'll act as if i'm ok....but.....i'm closing n shutting down my heart from anyone and everyone....

GOD PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO DO....I DONT WANT TO C HER SUFFERIN....

I'm scared

This is the first time ever i saw him like this....this was a pic taken while they are all discussing for his upcoming MV....according to the reporter, his face is always like this whenever he's at work....so please do not try to interupt him for any other things or talk something unrelated to what they are discussing....he'll not happy.....wow!!! Wat a perfect guy!!! That's the reason why i like him sooo soo much....

And the most important is that...i've finally got his new album!!! which i had repeated played for 4 hours non stop....and i still feel not enough!!! A lot of people tell me that they do not really like this album...but for me....i like everything that he had made....i did not say it purposely....but it's true!!! I can feel all the effort he's been putting into every sone....i can feel d message that he's trying to tell....no matter wat.....i love this album like any other one....

我有话说！！！12/8/2007

不知为什么，突然觉得心里有好多话想讲出来但这些话是不可以对任何一个人说的。不然会引起暴动！！！哈哈！！！

昨天我和一班我很少与他们一起出去玩的人出去玩（句子有点奇怪！）。虽然钱花了不少而且还看了一部我从来都没想过会去戏院看的戏（导火线），但我觉得我好像好久都没有玩到这么开心了。忽然觉得，每次我和那几个（我们平时一起出去玩的人马）一起出去玩，是玩到很疯没错，但回来后我没有那种开心的感觉而是应酬的感觉。如果和他们一起去看我不想看的戏，我回家后一定会很生气！！！但昨晚的我没有哦！！！好奇怪。难道那位弟兄魅力比较大？哈哈！！！但我不可否认的是-他在听到我说我的‘愿望’（和大队看我喜欢看的戏）是不会是现实，他就说-那让我们来‘实现’它吧！！！， 我听到这句话时真的有小小的感动。或许他擅长甜言蜜语吧！回来后，脑子里难免都会开始有一些‘想法’出现，或许心里会开始对他打分，但我很大声的对我自己说：不可能！！！像我跟他说的，他的身上有很多八爪鱼粘着，就算我真的要排队也不会轮到我的。哈哈！！！

然后还有一点就是，我们家隔壁房的那位。老实说，当初认识他的时候真的对他有一些幻想。但我很庆幸的是我没有陷得很深，因为我的室友那时已经对他有感觉了。所以我不需要花很多精力把自己抽离那种情况。到现在你问我，是否对他还有一点点的幻想？我回答大声的回答你说：我只是很欣赏他！！！因为当你看见他弹吉他的时候，真的很迷人！！！配上他那成熟男人的歌声时，我可以保证只要是女生看了都会被他迷倒。这点我不夸张哦！！！我不得不承认，他是一位很好的男人。但是，在我的字典里，好男人 = 别人的。而且，像我之前形容的一样，粘着他的女生简直就是 - 多！！！轮了一辈子也轮不到我的。

这种男生的问题，我已经不想再和我认识的人讨论了。因为出来的结论只会有两个：1）你被推去那个男生那里（就是被鼓励提起勇气行动啦）结果越陷越深，2）越讨论就越看见那个男生的缺点。但多数都是第一个情况比较多！！！所以，何苦呢？？？跟自己讲讲，自己欣赏就好了。不用这么三八到处去讲。哈哈！！！