It's one of my best friend's birthday yesterday. In the past i used to prepare a lot of things for her during this particular day like i'll spend so many effort on her present and spend so much money on the cake or celebration and stuff like that. Well, i don't mind to spend all these for her but everytime after her birthday i'll have the emptyness inside me. I just do not feel happy after spending so much effort. Maybe because she was too popular and everyone wants to spend the time with her during that particular day. So this year, i do not spend any time with her. Of course i still buy something for her. But it's just a handphone hanger and there's no cake from me this year. I just fed up with everything. Once i spend so much effort on something, and when i don't get the reaction i want i'll feel super down. So this time i just make everything clear and simple. More expectation will leads to more disappointment. This phrase always reminds me when i'm doing something which sometimes seems to be meaningless to me.
Today there are cell group gathering. And guess what i'm doing now???I'm sitting in the comp lab here searching for info for my cell met assignment. Actually i do it purposely coz i don't want to socialize with other ppl now (although most of the members are my frens). I just don't feel like socializing with the outside world now. I'd prefer to keep everything all inside me. I started to have the feeling whereby i feel like it's meaningless for me to get socialized to the outside world. I feel like no one is going to listen to me. But don't worry, i wont collapse one. Talk to myself wont hurt my heart one. Haha
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