那最初的心還在嗎?

有個老魔鬼看到人間的生活過得太幸福了，他說：「我們要去擾亂一下，要不然魔鬼就不存在了。」

他先派了一個小魔鬼去擾亂一個農夫。因為他看到那農夫每天辛勤地工作，可是所得卻少得可憐，但他還是那麼快樂，非常知足。
小魔鬼就開始想，要怎樣才能把農夫變壞呢？他就把農夫的田地變得很硬，讓農夫知難而退。
那農夫敲半天，做得好辛苦，但他只是休息一下，還是繼續敲，沒有一點抱怨。小魔鬼看到計策失敗，只好摸摸鼻子回去了。
老魔鬼又派了第二個去。第二個小魔鬼想，既然讓他更加辛苦也沒有用，那就拿走他所擁有的東西吧！
那小魔鬼就把他午餐的麵包跟水偷走，他想，農夫做得那麼辛苦，又累又餓，卻連麵包跟水都不見了，這下子他一定會暴跳如雷！
農夫又渴又餓地到樹下休息，想不到麵包跟水都不見了！「不曉得是哪個可憐的人比我更需要那塊麵包跟水？
如果這些東西就能讓他得溫飽的話，那就好了。」又失敗了，小魔鬼又棄甲而逃。

老魔鬼覺得奇怪，難道沒有任何辦法能使這農夫變壞？就在這時第三個小魔鬼出來了。
他對老魔鬼講：「我有辦法，一定能把他變壞。」
小魔鬼先去跟農夫做朋友，農夫很高興地和他作了朋友。因為魔鬼有預知的能力，他就告訴農夫，明年會有乾旱，教農夫把稻種在濕地上，農夫便照做。結果第二年別人沒有收成，只有農夫的收成滿坑滿谷，他就因此而富裕起來了。
小魔鬼又每年都對農夫說當年適合種什麼，三年下來，這農夫就變得非常富有。

他又教農夫把米拿去釀酒販賣，賺取更多的錢。慢慢地，農夫開始不工作了，靠著經濟販賣的方式，就能獲得大量金錢。

有一天，老魔鬼來了，小魔鬼就告訴老魔鬼說：「您看！我現在要展現我的成果。這農夫現在已經有豬的血液了。」只見農夫辦了個晚宴，所有富有的人都來參加；喝最好的酒，吃最精美的餐點，還有好多的僕人侍候。他們非常浪費地吃喝，衣裳零亂，醉得不省人事，開始變得像豬一樣癡肥愚蠢。
「您還會看到他身上有著狼的血液。」小魔鬼又說。這時，一個僕人端著葡萄酒出來，不小心跌了一跤。
農夫就開始罵他：「你做事這麼不小心！」「唉！主人，我們到現在都沒有吃飯，餓得渾身無力。」
「事情沒有做完，你們怎麼可以吃飯！」
老魔鬼見了，高興地對小魔鬼說：「唉！你太了不起！你是怎麼辦到的？」
小魔鬼說：「我只不過是讓他擁有比他需要的更多而已，這樣就可以引發他人性中的貪婪。」

心若改變，你的態度跟著改變；
態度改變，你的習慣跟著改變；
習慣改變，你的性格跟著改變；
性格改變，你的人生跟著改變。

這篇文章分享給每一個在為夢想努力奮鬥的你，提醒我們在努力追求夢想的同時，
千萬不要忘了最初的本心。

The Half Blood Prince

I've just finish reading the 6th book of the Harry Potter series -- The Half Blood Prince. And after finishing it, my heart sink an inch deeper. The ending was the one which i had never been expected. But i think most of the Harry Potter's fans will never expected that tragic ending of it. Till now i still cant really accept that horrific tragedy which had happen. I don't believe it until there's a tomb.

Half way through the book, where Professor Dumbledore was having secret lessons with Harry, i seriously had the same feeling as what Harry did whereby all the things that Professor show him seems meaningless. Only towards the end, i realise that everything was so much linked together. Everything started even before Harry Potter was present on the wizarding world. Professor Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard in the wizarding world, whom even the Darkest wizard -- Lord Voldermont had been afraid of. From the first book till now which i've reach, i do respect Professor Dumbledore so so much and feel so impressed with his clear mind and those perfect decision which he had always made to keep everything under control. But people do make mistakes. He will had never thought of getting himself killed by one of his colleague whom he trusted most. Of course, we reader will had never thought of that. Even personally, i think he wasn't as bad as Harry had always describe him. I think he had just been very strict to students since Harry din do well in his Potions class as well. Besides, i've never been expecting him to be the owner of the Advanced-Potion-Making book which was the property of the Half Blood Prince.

Whatever it goes, that already is the fact. No one can ever change that since it was made that way. All we can do is to accept it. But i still feel very depressed as if i've known Professor Dumbledore as well. I've even imagine that i'm at the funeral that day. I cant imagine how miserable it will be in the next book without the most powerful wizard's protect.

星光来了....星光来了....

太好了....星光来了...应该是说星光又来了!!!而且这次是来开唱哦. 这次我不管风吹雨打都要上山给他加油去. 最近的我在烦恼怎样说服我爸要他帮我用他的积分来换票. 这次我要换VIP的票, 不管他多贵了. 或许我以后再也没机会看演唱会了, 谁叫我要毕业了啊.

我一定要去!!!!

Believe it or not

It's a brand new year now, 2008. Mostly during end of the year, most of the horoscope will post some articles on predicting the fate of every horoscope. Of course, i'll be one of those people that will read those predictive article. Sometimes as a Christian, we shouldn't be believing all these predictive things other than those mention in the Bible. But it's just too closed to the real life that we are having. Now since year 2008 had passed for 17 days, i can seriously see that the prediction on my horoscope--Cancer had gone true!!! Believe it or not. There's one part of it say: "...今年巨蟹在表達溝通上稍有欠缺，個人的想法沒有及時和他人進行交流，至使相關工作不能較快開展，只要消除溝通方面的嫌隙，今年還是會大有斬獲的。" Well, this might sounds normal and not big deal, but i had seriously facing this problem. Mostly i wont reject other people's request directy no matter on the phone or in person, and this time....maybe i should say last night, i've rejected one phone call from one of my friends (though not those super closed 1) so harsh that after i hung up the phone i feel guilty. I'd seriously wanted to apologize to him coz i seriously don't know how to speak so i'm just telling you all the truth. I just don't know how to put it in beautiful words. So i guess that's one of the reasons why i'm not so welcome in a community (of course there's so much more reasons i believe). Never mind, i just want to be truth. The world now had been so fake that it's hard for people to accept the truth. I don't like that. I want Truth everywhere!!! Pray hard for that!!!

星光帮

其实星光帮这个名词对我来说一点都不陌生,因前不久前力宏来过没多久他们也来宣传.初初真的对星光帮这个团体不是很了解,因为都没追"超级星光大道'啊.在外读书的时候哪能每天上网看这些啊,做功课都来不极了啦,加上学校的线路也真是有限公司的.现在放假回来过着闲人的生活,什么电视节目都看.

其实"超级星光大道'是有一晚我不小心看到的.我记得我看的是和艺人合唱的那一集,是鸭子被淘汰的.初初开始看就觉得不过是个唱歌比赛嘛,但慢慢追下去才发现这个节目不是单纯的残酷的歌唱比赛节目.这个节目唯一不同于平时的歌唱节目是,它多了人情味.每位参赛者都尽全力的在挑战自己,当然说了是比赛那当然会有人被淘汰.在电视机前面看着这个节目的我,也被他们每位参赛者的热诚感动到泣不成声.看见他们的真情流露,我真的很佩服他们的坚持和勇气.尤其是我最喜欢的杨宗纬退出星光大道那一集,我真的是哭成泪人.或许会有人骂他活该,但在看的我一边哭一边给他全世界最用力的掌声.自己看看吧!

除了他们的认真,我也被他们的那真挚的友谊感动.在这个影片可以看到杨宗纬的好友-潘裕文(也是我喜欢的)已经崩溃了.我每次都在想,如过有一天是我要离开,会不会有一个人像潘裕文一样为我哭得不能自己.我想应该没有吧!!!我的眼泪永远都只有往肚里吞,不管多艰难的事还是得自己去面对.我永远都是一个人!!!杨宗纬...潘裕文...加油!!!(虽然你们现在已经很不错了)祝你们的友谊永远都是那么的浓郁...一定要好好珍惜!!!加油!!!

第一个感觉

人啊,有一个很大的毛病就是犹豫不决.就像平时逛街的我,明明很喜欢那一样东西了但总觉得别家店的应该会比较好或比较便宜.女人嘛,只要是便宜个一毛钱我们也会觉得自己做了很明智的选择.而我呢,就是因为这样,所以常常错失了自己真正喜欢的东西.我常常会讲说"等我回家做梦,如果我梦见那样东西的话,我一定二话不说就回来把它买回去.'自以为很聪明的我还以为那样东西会在原地不动的等我把它带回家,而没有想过在我放弃它的下一刻就有另一个人看上它并毫无考虑的把它带回家.

买东西是这样,那人于人又是怎样呢?东西买不到,只能回家在那忏悔.严重的话就是每一次逛街,只要看到相关的商品就会不自觉和自己曾经放弃过的商品做比较.总会在那里念着"还是上次那个好'...."还是上次看到的那个漂亮'....到头来才发现,自己第一眼看到的才是最好的.

前不久遇见一位老朋友,我们并没有很多的互动,但那种熟悉的感觉依然还存在着.虽然我们只是很肤浅的问候和闹了几句,很自然的就会有以前我们在一起打打闹闹的画面浮现在脑海里.这个时候才发现,原来我是多么的怀念以前我们曾经相处过的日子.现在大家各忙各的,不用说见面了,就连传简讯(那种FORWARD的)都没有.更残忍的是,现在在我电话的通讯录里没有他的电话号码.说实在的,当我知道会遇见他时,心里还真是有点不知所措的说,AKA兴奋啦.自己很不要脸的就在那想开场白,哈哈!现在回想起来还真是觉得自己真的要颁个08年度花痴奖给自己.在我回家的路上突然有种莫名的失落感.自己开始在那后悔为什么当初没有听姐妹们的--相信自己,对自己要有信心,勇敢一点.如果我真的....那现在的我又会是什么样子?

到现在才知道,原来第一个感觉永远是对的和最好的.放弃了就只能自己一个人独自怀念...姐妹们,加油哦!!!

Breaking New!!!!

There's one shocking news (to me) that i've read from the newspaper today. The shocking news is that the leading actor for Prison Break - Wenthworth Miller (Michael Scolfiel) had a BOYFRIEND!!! I'm not kidding!!! This was such a shocking news to me! I've never thought that such guy like him is a G!!! OMG!!! I still cant accept tat....

韩风再度吹起

前不久刚回来时有追了一部很搞笑的爱情韩剧--幻想情侣.当然看完了这部韩剧,就会很自然的喜欢剧里的主角们,尤其是男女主角.看完这部剧心情起伏没有很大,因为这部剧是轻松的喜剧.当然,还是会有一点点想说的啦.那个女主角会这么恶劣其实是有原因的,她小的时候家人在车祸中丧命了,世上只剩下唯一的亲人-奶奶.奶奶也因为人老了而病逝,从此以后这个世界上就只剩下她自己和家里所遗留的财产.在这样的环境下成长,怎样都会把自己保护的紧紧的吧.在这样的环境下成长的她对自己也欠缺信心,觉得自己没有能力守住自己的感情.这一点的她跟我还蛮像的,总是会把自己的情感埋藏起来,让外人都猜不透我真正想要的是什么.就算对任何人有一点点好感也会觉得那只是我想太多.或许,流过血的那道疤一直都在提醒着我吧.说完女主角,来说说男主角吧.戏里的他一至对他的初恋有所留恋尽管她已是别人的未婚妻了,他还是隋传隋到对她温柔体贴.男人就是这样,我们女生永远不明白他们在打着什么如意算盘.

说完第一部了,就说第二部吧.这部是韩国最新的韩剧哦,7月才出的--刀手吴水晶.我们一家都不是很喜欢剧里的女主角(不是因为她的角色的关系哦!)所以我没放她的照片,一半也是我找不到男女主角一起的照片啦.我妈说那个女主角的脸很不讨人喜欢所一她不想看这部剧.剧里的女主角是典形的势力眼,她已经有一为很爱很爱她甚至步入红地毯的超大个男友.女主角就因为嫌弃他傻傻的什么事都不会又没钱所一在婚礼进行到一半中途逃走,和曾经追求过她的医生飞到美国去,丢下她那又肥有傻的男友.接下来,当然那个肥男减肥了,也成了和老虎五兹平起平坐的高尔夫球手.但脱胎换骨的他回来是有目的的,至于是什么样的目的自己去看吧.这不剧我看了感触比较多.看见男女主角的彼此的痛苦,想爱但又因为很现实的问题没能如愿.好累,好痛苦.人啊,往往总是在失去后才会懂得珍惜.而且最重要的是千万千万不可以对他有所怨恨,不然就会和剧里的男主角一样痛苦.这里是整部剧里我最喜欢的一段.

Serious Muscle Fatigue n Cramp

Just back from Singapore and now suffer from serious pain at the waist part. Whenever i move my torso, i'll feel the pain very seriously at the right part of the lower back from back to front. I've never had such a serious pain ever and it do makes me suffer. I'm a bit tough as well as i do not want to take any pain killer that will relieve all the pain and make me feel better. For a women, we'll need a much higher dose of pain killer in our life time for delivery. If you do take pain killer tablet very often, I'd seriously advise you to better stop it. Or else, you'll suffer more during delivery.

Erm, don't make myself so serious. Haha!!! My pain is seriously killing me that first time ever i've ever think of taking pain killer before i go to sleep. Coz it pain during the nite and keeps me awake. All i can do now is just sit in front of the comp without moving any part of my torso and not even my head but only my fingers. Feel like i'm handicapped people. Now only i realise how much handicapped people suffered. And also i can understand how much my beloved one had been suffering and still force himself to work. I cant even stand up straight!

Just hope the pain wont affect my daily routine so much as i feel guilty just to sit there and do nothin. There's super lot of things need my help there, especially the dusty floor. Let me rest one more day and tomorrow onwards i'll have to start work.

Spore here i come

2molo is d day tat i left my footstep off onto the plane again...but this time i'm not goin back to KL yet but to Singapore...I'm there to relax...to breath the air outside Malaysia. Wahaha, honestly i do not had any excited feeling now. But i don't know whether i'd had it 2molo. I haven pack anythin yet. Maybe becoz i've been there before so i felt nothing. Still remember the same days back in one year ago, i'm leavin to NanJing airport and start to enjoy my South China tour. I totally din sleep the day before i leave KL to KK. So i didn't really get myself prepared and only realise that i'm already in NanJing. Everything just happen too fast that i don't have time to get excited. Now that i'm leaving to Singapore, i had the time which is more than enough for me to get prepared and excited. But now, i feel nothing. I just feel like it's another flight that i'm going to take.

Nvm. Maybe by the time i reach there i'll get excited. Hehehe....

My Japanese Name

Haha....just go to my bro-in-law's blog found out my Japanese name....I love this name....Ogawa Kumiko!!!Wahaha.....funny....beautiful child somemore ler....

小川 Ogawa (small river) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child)

Wanted to find out yours? Just simply go to the webpage here: RumandMonkey.com

Easy n Fun!!!

Emptiness

It's been bout one week since d day i left my footstep at d place where i live in sunway. Though it's so good to be back, maybe becoz i've get use to d life that i used to have there so i'm kindda like not used to d life that i'm having now. Whenever i'm free and alone, i'll started to miss everyone that i used to meet there....especially the instructor in California....like for example, today is Thursday, i used to go to BodyCombat by the most beloved instructor....i miss them so so much...i cant imagine that i had to face all these kind of sufferin for 3 months and i still have 2 months and 3 weeks elapsed.

There's just some kind of emptiness inside....no matter what i do i just feel like i'm lackin of energy. I feel like there's just lack of something. I mustn't deny that there's 'her' appearance in my mind as well. There's no one making fun besides me, no one punch me, no one argue with me, no one laugh at me, no one tease me....very boring la!!! Although we do send some stupid sms to each other, but it's just different. Haha!!! And of coz my housemate there....i miss the time where we used to sit and gossiping till midnight. This is what we girls will do....hahaha....and the most important is that....i miss my Combat and Spinning instructor so so so much!!! Whenever i remember d phrase 'I'll Miss U!!!' My heart just sink down an inch. Though i know that he might had mention this phrase to everyone, i still feel bad when i heard that.

This is the first time ever i have this kind of feeling. I never felt like this before. I always feel excited and happy to get onto the plane to see my beloved family in 2 hours times. I had no idea why i had this kind of feeling this time.

Last Day In California

See.....how time flies....It's like i just mention bout gettin back to California after my exam....and now i've to say it's the last day for this year for me to be in California. I can't believe how time flies....

Actually, last night i din sleep well...i dunno why, maybe bcoz i'm goin to meet my dear old fren who come back from Aus and maybe bcoz i'm goin to c my beloved instructor....i dunno....i just din sleep well...i keep on wakin up in d middle of the night...i dunno i'm excited bout wat....most probably i'll b back home soon....so get excited also....especially when i see all those things that i've buy n left on d floor....wahahah....

2day i'm so happy....coz finally he came to talk to me....AUTOMATICALLY U KNOW!!!!Wahahah...he ask me 'y u cut ur hair so short?!?!' wahahha....this qs make me stunt a while, coz i dunno how to answer him....then ho....d whole cls ho....i'm standin in front of him ma....wahaha....i get a closer look at him.....then ho after cls ma....i say 'c u next yr!!!' then he so curious n got ask me lo....erm...detail i no need mention la....kindda borin la....i'm so so happy finally i get to talk to him....i'm just happy!!!!!Wahahaha....seriously i'll definitely miss him when i'm back there for 3 months....then nite time i went to c another beloved him....wahaha...i have so many beloved....muahhaaahaahaa.....then ho....after d cls ar....at first i thought he was busy talkin with other ppl ar...then ho....he suddenly shout 'CINDY!!!!' (scare me ler!!!) then he say he'll gonna miss me!!!! Muahhahhhaaahhaaaa....my heart suddenly sink an inch ler....n he tell me next yr when i get back i definitely need to do some cardio b4 get into his cls....HUH!!!! He's challenging me!!!! OKOK....when i get back i'll go n do my cardio 2 keep up everythin...i'm not goin to let my stamina drop....YES YES!!!!

So sad la....like hearin all d ppl sayin bye bye 2 me....suddenly i feel like i wanted to stay here....but i knew tat my mum want me to get back n help her up...there's lot more things 4 me to do when i'm back home....especially life without a maid....everything have to DIY....ai....nvm nvm....so treat tat as my workout as well lo....so sad....

Relax

I'm so so so relax these few days....all i need to do everyday is to think what class to join in California....which shoppin mall to go....and what my mum and sis want to buy....hahaha.....tha's what i did before sleep everynite....wahahaa....like today, after goin to d cyclin class....i walk all alone in this pyramid....at first i thought i definitely will got something to buy.....but....at then end, i end up buyin my sis stuff n eat a lot of food....wahahha.....what a live i'm havin right now...

But ho....while i was walkin all alone....there suddenly had a lot of things come into my mind...now only i realise....besides him, i do not have any frens to go out with....somemore i think i'm botherin him so much....he got super lot of works to do and still i ask him goin out to play....i feel guilty whenever he tell me he haven finish his work....nvm....from now onwards, he wont c me again until next yr....hahaha....it's not d first time that i realise that i dun hav frens....the fact is that -- i do not have any frens!!!! Wahahaah.....Nvm....i've get use to d life liao....so doesn't matter....

FREE!!!!

Wahahaha.....cant believe that my horrible days had been gone just like that!!!!It's Unbelievable that i've been through all those suffering....mentally n physically challenging myself....especially in the middle of the night. Now, i'd like to officially announce that.....I'M FREE!!!!!Wahahaha.....

These few days i've been thinkin where to go besides California....that's all i worry these few days....wahahaha....wat a life i'm havin right now....wahahah...sooo sooo free....

California

It had been the 4th day that i haven step my foot into California....i so so so so miss everything inside there...especially d lovely instructor--Myke and Bryan....i cant wait to see them again.....and there's someone said that i've been started to grow horizontally.....WHAT?????It's only 4th day n he can notice that.....OMG!!!!But i dun deny the word that he say coz he is seriously true....during this peak period, i've been eatin every 2 hours.....it's not bcoz of hungry but bcoz i cant stop it...i just cant stop myself eatin....especially in d midnite....the situation get worst....if wanted to relate to what i've learn in my studies...it's becoz i've been using so so much energy from the brain, and brain which can only utilize glucose as fuel or energy supply had to be supplied with glucose continuously. That's why i'm eatin this much....

But.....see how the time flies....the paper that i'm goin to sit later is my second last paper....which means i have one more last one to go on 2molo mornin n that's it for this sem....this is.....FAST!!!! I cant wait to get myself workout and go out and shop like shopaholic....it's been a long time since the last time that i leave my footsteps at anywhere around bukit bintang....and even midvalley.....i cant wait for 2molo to come......

There's always one time during the midnight that i almost giv up upon everythin....i seriously thought of just don't study and prepared for the paper that i'm goin to sit....i just....tired of everythin....Thanks for him and her mental support which are always there whenever i needed.....it always comes on the right time....tq so so much!!!!Though i know u both are suffering as well....u might had the same situation that i'm facing now....but....ur support do means a lots to me....although it's just 2 simple repeat words -- + oil in ur msg....it gives me so so much energy!!!! Thank you so so much....i hope u wont be suffering as well....like wat u always tell me....this is life....u've to appreciate what u're doing rite now....Thank GOD for that....

Okok....i had about 55 minutes before i get into and sit for my second last paper....let me do somemore supa last minutes revise first.....hehehe....

人间有情 5/11/2007

这两天都把自己锁在房间里不让自己出门，连运动也不让自己去。谁叫我的考试和马拉松赛跑一样啊，连下去三天。但这样也好，长痛不如短痛咯！前天在读的时候突然有种越读越兴奋的感觉，因为三天后将会有一连串精彩刺激的计划等着我进行！哇哈哈！好期待哦！

但说实在的，我把自己锁了一天后发现，我差点疯了！或许是因为我好久都没有像现在这样闭关了吧，所以觉得有点痛苦。像昨天去教堂崇拜啊，就觉得好兴奋哦！终于能够穿美美、看看外面的天空、看见我认识的人、看见我曾经教过的小孩子，就觉得-爽！但是到下午回家时，就发现又要面对残酷的事实了。然后啊，有一位弟兄很贴心，原本他早上就叫我去他家吃晚餐了，但我到傍晚的时候就临时放人家飞机（这是我的专长）。他还很贴心的说煮好了送过来我家给我，听到了就好感动哦！到晚上真的有人送来哦，而且那个人是我怎样也没想到会是他送来的哟！真的好感动好感动！害我在吃着的时候，眼眶有几度是满满的。如果现在是冬天的话，那我一定早就哭了！因为，那碗面线真的好温暖哦！而且，有妈妈的味道。虽然知道那位弟兄是很会煮的人，但没想到他越来越厉害。是谁把他娶回家还真是不用怕饿死的说。哈哈！在这种非常时期，突然有这种雪中送炭的感觉，真的好感动。而且，女生啊，一定会开始乱想。但我和那位弟兄他熟了啦，如果真的要有什么早就应该有了吧！哈哈！

当然，我那个死党‘姐妹’也还不错啦。知道我在痛苦也有给我加油啦，说要带我去吃好的啦、传一堆无聊的简讯给我啦之类的。但说真的，他的简讯还真的不是普通得无聊！有谁会跟你说‘i tell u one story, once upon a time, there's a little boy, stay in a small room, with no light, his eyes are closed and zzzz....’。靠！真的是有种从椅子铁下来的感觉。但也多得他这下无聊的简讯啦，这样我自少知道有人比我更无聊啊！哇哈哈！

令我顿时觉得，人间有情、幸福的感觉。哈哈！这些小小的行动都带给我很大的动力。就像我现在啦，凌晨就快三点了还能这么精神奕奕。现在是我中场休息时间，哈哈！

好混乱 30/10/2007

今天是我第一天考试，而且今天的这张是我重考的，所以没有那么紧张因为都已知道格式了。等了两个星期，终于等到这一天的来临了。还真是有点期待它快快的过，但这一段时间也是最苦的。没关系啦，忍一忍然后就可以去玩啦！而且这一次我特地多留一个星期在这里，多亏我民智的决定让我能够见到两年没见的绮敏，还真是蛮期待的。

其实在这一段所谓的study week其间，我好像也没有很用力的在温书。去运动那个不算啦，我就还会往外跑啊。新开张的Pyramid 2就来被我走烂了！加上多了一位‘姐妹’陪伴一起逛街，当然感觉就不一样啦！也不知道从什么时候开始和那位‘姐妹’的关系突然‘突飞猛进’，连我自己也有点觉得不可思议。我们真的好到一种很令人误会的程度，就连睡我隔壁房的都会常常问我一些他的事啊之类的，而且严重到一种程度就是就连一个跟我不是很熟的（也有一起去运动过的）朋友都会把我们俩送做堆。起初在身边的人还没有这些反应的时候，我还真的没有想这么多。就真的觉得多了一个很要好的‘姐妹’。

至于为什么我会一直称他为‘姐妹’呢，其实是有原因的。因为，他真的比姐妹还姐妹。你可以想象吗，一个大男人竟然可以在大庭广众和老伴在那里讨价还价（之类的）！！！怎么可能！就连我也做不出这种事。而且啊，有哪个男生带的包包是那种购物袋啊？就是那种披在肩上的！怎么可能！连我的也最起码事业个背包呢！和他走在一起就会觉得我和他的身份是调换的，我是男生而他是女生。我们有时候在打打闹闹的时候啊，我们也会互相提醒他每天在对着一个男生而我是每天在对着一个女生。哇哈哈！好笑吧！

或许就因为这样，我觉得和他一起出去玩很轻松。就觉得，我可以是我自己而不需要在乎别人会怎样看我。想笑大大声就笑大大声、想喷口水就喷口水、想讲一些我平时不讲的话就毫无考虑的讲出来（而且他也是这样）。好轻松！不知道从什么时候开始，这种感觉就已经离我而去。而我也渐渐忘记这种感觉了。所以只要是他叫到，我几乎都不会说不的，就当时出去疏解压力咯。

最近的我，思绪里又多了一个影子出现。这个影子应该是遥不可及的，就像我喜欢王力宏的那种感觉一样。而这几次和他有多一点的接触后发现，原来我还真是个花痴啊！还真是有点笨！从昨天开始，那种感觉就少了很多！因为就发现原来他并不是我想象中的那样。有期待就有失望吧！感谢主！主真是最了解我，他知道哪些是对我是无畏的，所以都会慢慢的帮我清除。感谢主！

溏心风暴2

这几天总算把所有的功课都交上的，所以就把溏心风暴再看一次。不知为什么，以前看到常在心和程亮两人的问题就觉得很不想看下去。就觉得他们两个人的关系搞到我这个看的人很累。现在，再一次看一遍突然觉得感触良多。

常在心这么用心的为她和程亮的感情付出，而程亮他因为一时的贪念而和常在心最好的朋友染上。整部剧里，就觉得常在心很可怜、很痛苦、很累。

我不会为常在心觉得不值，也不会因为程亮的过失而讨厌他。我只是觉得，一段感情就是这样，一定会有过渡期。只要你熬过这一段痛苦又漫长的过渡期，往后的日子就没有什么好忧虑的了。但是，在现在这个世界，如果每个人都这么努力的在为自己的感情付出及珍惜，那离婚率就不会这么高、为清闹自杀的人就不会越来越多。现在对自己所可以得到的东西往往都觉得不足够，以至有这么多的问题出现。这部剧里有些台词真的很有道理，让我在看的同时也可以学习到一些人生的哲学。

感情这种东西，还真是又期待又怕受伤害呀！不知道从什么时候开始，所有的男生对我来说都好肤浅。专家说的果然没错，男生是用眼睛来思考而女生是用心来思考的。神的创造好奇妙哦！这样不同的两种人怎样能够结合呢？好多人都会对我说，我等待的那一位还未出现。而我会觉得，为什么一定有一位是我等待的呢？难道，我不可以一个人过吗？为什么一定要我等呢？难道我不可以自己去找寻和我心意的那一位吗？这一切的一切，我已经问过千百遍。如今，我已不想再问了。我深深的相信，神已经有我的答案只不过他觉得我还没预备好。这个答案或许会很令人痛心，又或许会很令人开心，但这一切都不是我们-人可以掌权的。唯一的掌权者是那位尊贵的天父。

在我的字典里，爱情是一个遥不可及的东西。说我不想要有一段感情是骗人的，但我不会麻木的让我自己随随便便进入一个感情的圈套，为的是要保护我自己。如果自己都不保护自己，那谁还会来保护自己呢？就像我现在这样，生病了也没什么大不了的嘛。只不过是半夜会咳嗽咳到醒来甚至会咳到流泪。这就是身体在抗议了！抗议我为什么没有好好照顾我自己，搞到现在这么痛苦。当然，多一个人在我身边关心我照顾我这种日子真的好幸福好令人期待，但是谁有那么多美国时间无时无刻在你身边提醒你要做这个不做那个的？就算真的有，我应该会觉得他很烦吧！

人就是这样咯！想又不是，要有不敢。做自己吧！不要想这么多，我还有一大堆书要读呢！

Energetic

Today is 27/10....n my first paper is on 30/10...which means i have 3 more days to go to reach my d-day!!! To be honest, i cant wait for that particular day to come and even hope for it to end....i cant wait for 8/11 where i'll b totally free!!!Everyday whenever i'm lockin myself at home, i'll always feel sleepy and in low batt mode. The situation will get worst when i sit in front of the table with my notes and books open. Why am i always so low batt??? This time i definitely can feel d FAIL words comin again....

Yesterday, as usual when i went to spinning class...and after all the workout and shower...Bryan tell me that i'm very energetic. Coz the class seems to be very easy for me....Whua....i cant believe that!!!! It's the first time ever there's someone use that word one me....i just too shock....Thanks for his words also, i do feel energetic that whole day.

Then when this mornin, when i was readin my daily bread, i read a article on a lazy man who was sooo lazy to do whatever things which he thinks is difficult...his father was so worried bout him so he ask around of his friends in order to get him one easy job....then one day, one friend come and tell his father that he have a nice and easy job order for his son....that's been a guard at the graveyard! All he have to do is just sit there and guard. Then after 10 days, the guy quit his job. He tell his father that it's not fair for him to sit there but all the people around him lyin there.

WHUA!!!! After i've read this article ho....there's like a big slap on my face....i almost become tat young man!!! I've finally wake up!!! All the while i've been sleeping....i'm just like that young man...whenever i started to read, i'll feel sleepy...what's the different between me n d young man????

From now onwards,i'll swear to get fully charged whenever i study....use the words that Bryan had used on my wisely....

Love is in d air....

Yes Yes Yes!!!! I swear i'll go to the mornin combat cls....Yes Yes!!!At first i was just trying my luck to sit outside of the class tryin to cool myself down, just wanted to see whether he'll come and talk to me o not....and he does!!!WAHAHA!!!!He ask me-'mou dok shu meh?' wahahaha....then he ask me to come again for d combat class later in the evening....seriously, before he ask me that i've never thought of coming to another combat class again....then my heart is kindda like...shaken when he ask me that....WAHAHAHA!!!!

Honestly, the combat class just now wasn't really tiring like the normal one. And we also didn't work on our core muscle as well. So, it's kindda like...not enough for me....later went back home i'll do it myself....hahaha....back to the combat class just now...there's only 5 people in the class....and 3 out of 5 are first timer....so he teach so detail just now....first time ever i've attended a combat class with the instructor standing in front of u tellin u how to do ur posture right....first time ever....and with him!!!!Wahahaa....

Wahahaha....Wahahaha....Wahahaa....just let me laugh to myself now....i just cant stop it!!!! Wahahaha!!!!

The Dream I Had

There's something i must shout it out loud here.... o else i'll seriously get mad!!!

This morning when i was suppose to force myself out of the bed, i get back to sleep again and this is the time where i had the weirdest dream i've ever had....this dream interrupts my emotion for the whole day where i cant concentrate on my study...the dream keep on popping out in front of me....it's weird...and it looks sooo real....

Well, actually, it's not the first time i've been dreaming bout instructor....but this time....it's d most...how should i say....i've never thought of that instructor will ever come into my mind....it's sooo soooo real....and when just now i get into his class, when we use to clap each other hand, there's some kind of 'electric shock'....i had no idea what that....weird...i don't want to have that feeling....although he is a supa nice instructor which motivates me a lot....but i've never thought of he become the main character in my dream as well....i just....cant believe that!!!

HELP....HELP....HELP!!!!! Help me get rid of all these stupid things....i'd try to keep myself busy and not thinking bout watever i've seen in the dream this morning....it makes me feel bad...and interupt my emotion so badly.....PLEASE....GOD....Giv me wisdom...to stop myself from all these stupid things.....

I'm sick

It's been a long time since the last time i fell sick....i was the one who din take care of myself...i din drink enough water then cause dehydration inside my body....tat day when i stay awake the whole nite just to finish tat stupid genomics report, i already feel not good....tat day i din really go to toilet....i mean for the big one....i'll go for the big one...daily ler....but tat particular day i din...so i know there's something wrong inside...

then on friday, when i was lying on the bed trying to recover all my sleep from the previous nite...i just feel like i'm having difficulties to sleep....i can feel the heat coming out from my bed....it's hot....then only i realized the heat comes from myself....the whole nite i din sleep well and there's mosquitoes keep on biting me becoz of my high body temperature that attract them....

again on the next day, saturday, the volcano had finally erupted....every heat goes up to the head and it pains like hell....i seriously feel like i wanted to bang my head on the wall to make myself feel better....somemore tat nite is another busy nite for me working at church....i feel so so uncomfortable tat nite and just feel like lyin on my bed instead of standing there cleaning all the mess....it wasn't mean that i'm unwilling to clean up the church but....jus....tired....

now...my throat always feels ichy....especially in the morning.....there's no one take care of me here so i have to take care of myself....no one will pass me medicine or bring me food....i'll have to do everything all by myself....there's always GOD besides me...instead of man....

I feel like 1 2 kill myself

Wat is this kind of life i'm having now....all of the report due on the same days....somemore d lecture had rejected my extension....Wat kind of world this is. Y is there no kindness??? I do have the faith in myself that i can finish it these two days by skipping my sleeping time. But, i don't know where to start and wat to do. That's the things that i fear most. It's not the matter of time. God created 24 hours per day means that it's enough for us to do what we wanted to do in one whole day. Somemore i have more than 48 hours to do this two big assignments and report. Time is not the factor but it's me. I'm the one that is stupid and cant understand whatever we're doing in the lab. I'm stupid....stupid...stupid....

I seriously have the thought of killing myself now.....then i wont face all the suffer i have in this world. But....to be honest....i don't think GOD will let me go into the heaven with such a irresponsible me....He wont let me go to heaven this easily by just jumpin from a high rise building or watever....This must the challenge that GOD sets for me....HE believe that i can do all these things with the time HE gaved. Y should i disappoint HIM? There are sooo many people out there have faith in me.....I'M NOT GOIN TO SHOW MY WHITE FLAG TO ANYONE AND ANYTHING!!!!

NIKE~~JUST DO IT!!!!

ADDIDAS~~~IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!!!

Low Energy

I've get back here in Monash Library typing my blog again....I've come back from my one week break. It wasn't a break for me, i've got tons of work to do. Those lecturer are evil....they set the due date for all of the subjects on one same day and same time....what the hack?!?!They thought we are supernatural is it?Well, that's no big deal actually. It's my last year in Monash and i've kindda get use to this kind of life but i always feel "low battery" these days....i just cant gather up my energy and do my work. Whenever i start up my comp, i'll just stare at my desktop (stare at my wallpaper-me n Stephanie) and do nothing. I just feel blur and down everyday. Whenever i c my lab manual i'll feel bad, my eyes will even fills with tears. I don't know anything for my reports and i cant find anyone who can help me. I just feel useless. I feel like i'm stupid and i cant do anything. I'm just tired and down. I'm trying so so hard to gather my energy now. Well, the combat yesterday to help me a lot. I work so hard that i can feel my thigh now. I so so love combat. I work so hard till i can see the effect on my arms and thigh. I like that!!!

On the day when i've get down from the plane and reach subang, there's a bunch of my frens ask me out for dinner before i step my foot in to my house. Thank GOD for them. At first i seriously feel very down and low power when the plane had landed. They all cheer me up!!!Thank GOD for them. That's the reasons why i like to be with them recently. I think there might have some 'whisper' out there asking bout me n the guy that i always used to be together with. HAHAHA!!!! So funny. I know sometimes we both is like....more than normal friends. Erm, i admit that we are more than friends. At least i feel that. We are 'sister'!!! WAHAHA!!! Don't worry, i wont get into relationship this early. The door for relationship in my heart had closed for long. For me, i've three stages of friends. First stage or the lower stage is the nomal friends where i only say HI to, second stage are most of the friends that i had, third and the highest stage are those can knew the inside of me like you (who r reading my blog now!!!) or someone that i like to play with. Haha!!! You should be proud with that!!!

Whatever....i don't care whether there's someone outside hate me a lot o wat...i don't care!!! Nobody is perfect. I just need to be myself, there's no point for me to change because of the environment or wat. Me is Me. I'd only change myself for the earth. SAVE THE WORLD!!! I do believe that the scene we see in 'The Day After Tomorrow' will happen one day like the flood in GENESIS. I do believe that!Get Prepared!!!

Black Friday -- 5/10/2007

In 3 days time i'll be on the plane flying back to my beloved hometown again. How time flies....for this week i feel like i have difficulity to breath....there's been too many things pop up right in front of me for me to do it....my assignment of coz...choir stuff....family....workout....u might probably think that there's something that i can put aside and do the important ones first...especially d workout part....i'd guarrantee u if i stop goin to workout, i'll definitely had commit suicide in my room without anyone notice. That's d only way i can release all of my stress....especially going into the combat n balance class....of course, the instructor do affect as well....i like Yvette as the balance instructor.....her posture is so so so accurate and motivates me whenever i'm in her class.

It seems happy then i'm going back home again. But it's totally different situation. After the one whole week, i'll have all my homework due....ALL u know....everything for every subject....i'll have 3 reports and 1 project for one subject that have to be passed up on d first week of Oct and another one big assigment....This is crazy!!!Somemore there are 3 same things due on the same day!!!Crazy!!!Wat the life i have here in Monash.....I cant wait to get rid of the life here in Monash and the life here in Sunway....I cannot face all those stress all by myself....I'm just not that strong.....I'll definitely collapse all by myself....

May GOD provide me wisdom on time management and a strong body.....Keeps me motivated....i cannot give up....my family needs me....i must not disappoint them....I CANT!!! I must stand up tall myself then only i can help them....i have to be strong....

RUSH HOUR 3 13/9/2007

我终于看了这部戏！！！人家就来下映了我才来看，慢很多拍吧！谁叫我人缘不好，又专喜欢看一些别人不喜欢看的戏，昨天有人愿意跟我一起去看已经很不错了。但原来等到那部戏就快下映时去看是很轻松的，有没有试过买戏票不用排队？而且位子任你选呢！哈哈！！！

说真的，看了这部戏真的很开心。可能是因为上个礼拜看见成龙本人所以只要有他的出现都是好戏吧。真的感觉不一样呢，看见他本人甚至于他的互动真的是很好的宣传呢！但还是说老实的一句吧，这部戏真的没有前两集来得好。当然还是有典型Chris Tucker搞笑的部分，但还是觉得前两集比较好。这种戏，说真的，看了只会觉得把自己不开心的情绪发泄出来，没有什么特别的意义呢。成龙他自己接受访问时也说过啊，他说想拍一些比较有意义的电影。好期待哦！！！

突然发现，我好喜欢他哦！应该是说我好佩服他哦！他真的不是说说而已，只要他说过的他都会做。这样才叫男人嘛！！！这种男人在这个世界已经绝种了啦！现在的男人能顾好自己就已经算很不错了。

Stephanie Au - my role model

I cant imagine how the time flies....it's wednesday now and which means next week i'll be headin back to my hometown again!!!WUHUHU!!!And i cant believe that it's last week that i've meet the Hollywood Superstar and my role model....I feel like it's only yesterday day tat all this things happen....

I've been recently google-ing Stephanie Au in order to get more of her information. Unfortunately she is not a star so it's kindda limited info for me to gather. But however, i found out that she is a Norwegian Born Chinese....WOW!!! No wonder her English sounds so so so different from me....i can still remember the way she speaks....i admire her so so much since the first day i see CF in midvalley where there's a huge poster on her n Jackie....she is so so so fit and beautiful!!!!

I'd like to her like her one day....i know that there's some part of my body where i cannot slim it down, so all i can do now is to make it look fit....now, whenever i stand, i'll tuck in my abs and straighten my whole posture....it's kindda tired at the back at first but when i look in the mirror, it's different.....u can try that yourself....feel more confident in yourself when u did that....i like that feeling....all the while i've been hunching and feel that i look fat and do not have the confidence in the way i look....exercise really helps a lot....i not only help to make u get more healthy but also increase ur self confident....also it's the best way to release stress!!!!Hahaha.....

I hope to see Stephanie again during the time whereby i was still studying here....i cant wait to see her again.....

I see Jackie Chan!!!!

Last Saturday (8/9/2007) is the most exciting weekend i've ever had in my life....wahaha....i cant wait to speak it out loud here!!!! Okok...let me go straight into the point....(now smiling to myself coz too happy!!!)....

It's the Hollywood star--Jackie Chan in Sunway Pyramid!!!! WAHAHA!!!! I've finally see him in person ler!!!! Wahahaa!!!! Wait....it might not convince u by just listen to me here....let me show u my evidence....

Pic 1: Jackie Chan walking down from the stairs case with a bunch of guards inside California Fitness Pyramid

Okok....i know it's kindda blur....hei...i'm not using a professional digital camera ok, i'm just using my N73 to take that pic....hahaha, promote my hp pula....then after tat, he go to the skating area to attend the Grand Opening Session of course with some performance there (not by him of coz)....then after that, he went back to the main entrance of the gym.....

Pic 2: Jackie showin his hand model

Pic 3: Jackie with California Fitness CEO and another Datuk....(dunno who he is)

After this, he get back to one room for the press conference...of coz we are not allowed to go in...so we just stay outside n watch!!!

Pic 4: Jackie inside the room sayin HI to us outside....

Then, he will conduct a class together with Stephanie Au, the main JC Boxercise instructor from HK. Stephanie Au is the gal that u can see on d wall in front of California Fitness, she is a super super super beautiful gal and super super super nice gal....and professional instructor!!!She is so so so fit u know!!!When i see her, she motivates me a lot....for doing exercise.....and ho....the next day ho, when i was walkin around in midvalley, i accidentally meet here there in the NIKE shop!!!!WOW.....then i walk up and call her....i dun care whether she remember me o not....just wanna talk to her....hahahah

Pic 5: Me and the beloved Stephanie Au

Pic 6: Jackie Chan lecturing about JC Boxercise

Here comes the most most most important pic of all!!!!Cindy Wong with Jackie Chan!!!!WUHUHUHU!!!!Just Believe that!!!!This is true!!!!

Pic 7: Me and Jackie Chan!!!!!

WAhahaha...exciting ler!!!I also shake hand with him....he is such a nice person....wherever we stand, watever we do, he'll keep on reminding us to becareful!!!and....whenever he saw small children there, he'll touch d kid's face and smile to him/her automatically....he is so so so so nice!!!!he is a good lecturer as well....he encourage girls to do more boxing exercise....so...from now onwards, i'll go to every boxing class....

Jackie Chan is here in Sunway Pyramid

Wahaha....i cant wait for that....i'll b there n attend his class....cant wait to see this international superstar face to face....i can imagine that i club must be overloaded, but i dun care...as long as i can see him in person that will be enough....and i want to take his pic.

I was too excited last night until i woke up in the middle of the night starting to imagine d situation later in d club and the shopping mall....imagine i'm in d class with him as the instructor....wow!!!I cant wait for that....although now my muscle still pain, but who cares....as long as i can see him in person everything will be worth it!!!

Hohoho!!!Count down in 4 hours time.....huh...huh....huh....*heart beats increasing*

Some interesting pic

pic 5 ~~~ HOLY....

pic 4 ~~~ OS: 为何人生道路越走越寂寞?




Pic 3~~~(continuous pic) ***ABUGEK*** OS from street fighter!!!

Pic 2~~'Yao Yeng'...hahaha

Pic 1~~Kes Rompak di hadapan Maybank ATM machine.....berhati-hati semasa tekan-ing duit....

回家咯！！！

现在的我坐在机场的椅子对着丢电脑发呆！因为我的班机延迟了！气死我！干吗不早跟我说啊，还我一大早就起来了，这还不重要反正我每天都这么早醒，重点是：我千里迢迢来到这里，而且好不容易等到柜台开了你才跟我说班机延迟了，要等四小时才飞！你说气不气？一大早受的苦，淋的雨，流的汗。。。一切都白费了！！！还好在机场这个地方还允许我上网，不然我肯定疯了！！！

这次回到这么突然其实是要回去看我妈啦。你可以想象一个老人家双手不能动，吃喝一切都要人帮吗？我想象不到。虽然心里已经有所准备啦，但还是觉得心疼。原本我想就这样消失的，但不知为什么一大早起来诸事不顺。虽然我有祷告说让我就这样静悄悄的回去，但我觉得神应该是要让我知道有人是关心我的。我不是说不让人关心，而我只是不喜欢一直重复的被人问及回答同样的问题。所以最终我还是说啦！管它啦，让他们八卦一下咯，反正他们的日子也有点太风平浪静了。

肚子还真是有点饿呢，那我就在这优先‘公司’的机场找东西吃去咯！哈哈！！！

STRESS STRESS!!!!!!

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH..............That's wat i feel now....i feel like i'm having difficulty in breathing.....i have 2 real big report due on monday n tuesday.....AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH......That's not the point.....d point is....i dunno how to do....actually i'm not the only one who don't know how to do.....there's whole lot of ppl struggling out there.....Thank GOD that the demo gav us a final and one and only discussion about it....at least there's some guidelines there.....but....i'm still stress up!!!! I still don't know how to do....with my limited mind i cant!!!! I'm not clever....i'm a little bit stupid i should say....die die die die die....i'm sooooo stress up now....i don't know what to do now....just stare at the word document and......stare at it....die die die.....

last nite it's like.....huh!!!Terrible....whenever i sleep, i can see all the words flying around....i even dreamt that there's someone teaching me how to do it....actually, i have the confident to finish it within this two days....but it's just.....i don't know how to do!!! It's even worst than i cant finish it!!!!!

May GOD help me....giv me enough strength to fight for this two reports....provide me wisdom so that i can do all the questions and also able to divide my time efficiently....AMEN!!!!

惹人厌的我 20/8/2007

刚去完合唱营回来，真的很感恩我有这种恩赐，让我能在诗班侍奉。至从被人选为班长至今，每天都觉得自己什么都不会。每次诗班又紧急状况时我都帮不上忙，甚至会觉得不管我的事。‘班长’这个名称真的很重。去完合唱营回来后，我开始有不一样的想法。或许在行政方面我真的不行，但在唱歌方面我真的很感恩主赐给我这个恩赐。每次诗班练唱时我都有一股莫名的力量，不管我那天的精神如何，我在诗班里面就是会尽心尽力的去唱。很感恩我能够参加这次的合唱营。营会里的每一位老师都很用心的教导我们，我不知道别人会不会这样认为，但我很清楚知道我在这次营会里学到很多东西也看见不一样的东西。感谢主！

在这两天的集训里面，一班人一起进进出出，感觉更亲密了。我也看见了一些很令人痛心的事实，就是-原来我是那么的惹人厌的。这两天里面，除了和另一位姐妹一起搞气氛以外，根本就没有人想和我多说一句话。我甚至觉得他们根本就是勉强自己和我坐在同一桌吃饭。每个人跟我说话都是战战兢兢的，都是一些客套话，都不是因为想跟我讲话而跟我讲话。我承认，如果我遇到我不认同的topic时我会极力反对，因我觉得每个人都有不同的看法，我只是把我的看法提出来而已，你不一定要接受我的看法啊！我就是这样被人讨厌吧！管它的，我为什么要因为别人而改变自己？我就是我！主把我创造成这样我没有必要去改变我自己。

眼不见为净-这句话应该是他们的心里话！从今以后只有星期天我会出现，其他的时间我会尽量避免。自己一个人也可以很开心啊！

I"M SO SO SO SORRY!!!!

I feel i've always a trouble maker. No matter where am I or who i'm with, tat person will always have trouble. I just don't know why i'm such an unlucky person. I cant control it. I just don't know why.....PLEASE GOD....TEACH ME WAT AM I GOIN TO DO....

it's my fault that she lost that much of money....if it's wasn't my stubbornness she wont purposely went out n buy me dinner....n she wont meet all those weird ppl....n she wont....she wont....she wont cry for whole nite and lost herself....i feel sooo sooo sooo guilty...i just don't know why that i'm sooo sooo sooo unlucky.....i always bring all these kind of unluckiness to other ppl.....i...i didn't mean it....if i know this kind of things will happen, i swear i wont eat dinner....

Now that everything is too late...i cant....i cant...i cant....i cant do anything but only feelin guilty whenever i c her face....i don't have any face to c her anymore....i feel that whenever she c me she'll remember d thing.....I swear to myself....it's tough to lose one fren....but it will be tougher for her to remember her nightmare everyday.....i'd rather quit....it hard to me to tell her what i feel here....i'd write up to her n apologize...i just hope that everything is seriously going to be fine....though the probability is low....please....i just want her to be happy....i'll swear....i will try to avoid her...avoid from everyone startin from today onwards...i'll act as if i'm ok....but.....i'm closing n shutting down my heart from anyone and everyone....

GOD PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO DO....I DONT WANT TO C HER SUFFERIN....

I'm scared

This is the first time ever i saw him like this....this was a pic taken while they are all discussing for his upcoming MV....according to the reporter, his face is always like this whenever he's at work....so please do not try to interupt him for any other things or talk something unrelated to what they are discussing....he'll not happy.....wow!!! Wat a perfect guy!!! That's the reason why i like him sooo soo much....

And the most important is that...i've finally got his new album!!! which i had repeated played for 4 hours non stop....and i still feel not enough!!! A lot of people tell me that they do not really like this album...but for me....i like everything that he had made....i did not say it purposely....but it's true!!! I can feel all the effort he's been putting into every sone....i can feel d message that he's trying to tell....no matter wat.....i love this album like any other one....

我有话说！！！12/8/2007

不知为什么，突然觉得心里有好多话想讲出来但这些话是不可以对任何一个人说的。不然会引起暴动！！！哈哈！！！

昨天我和一班我很少与他们一起出去玩的人出去玩（句子有点奇怪！）。虽然钱花了不少而且还看了一部我从来都没想过会去戏院看的戏（导火线），但我觉得我好像好久都没有玩到这么开心了。忽然觉得，每次我和那几个（我们平时一起出去玩的人马）一起出去玩，是玩到很疯没错，但回来后我没有那种开心的感觉而是应酬的感觉。如果和他们一起去看我不想看的戏，我回家后一定会很生气！！！但昨晚的我没有哦！！！好奇怪。难道那位弟兄魅力比较大？哈哈！！！但我不可否认的是-他在听到我说我的‘愿望’（和大队看我喜欢看的戏）是不会是现实，他就说-那让我们来‘实现’它吧！！！， 我听到这句话时真的有小小的感动。或许他擅长甜言蜜语吧！回来后，脑子里难免都会开始有一些‘想法’出现，或许心里会开始对他打分，但我很大声的对我自己说：不可能！！！像我跟他说的，他的身上有很多八爪鱼粘着，就算我真的要排队也不会轮到我的。哈哈！！！

然后还有一点就是，我们家隔壁房的那位。老实说，当初认识他的时候真的对他有一些幻想。但我很庆幸的是我没有陷得很深，因为我的室友那时已经对他有感觉了。所以我不需要花很多精力把自己抽离那种情况。到现在你问我，是否对他还有一点点的幻想？我回答大声的回答你说：我只是很欣赏他！！！因为当你看见他弹吉他的时候，真的很迷人！！！配上他那成熟男人的歌声时，我可以保证只要是女生看了都会被他迷倒。这点我不夸张哦！！！我不得不承认，他是一位很好的男人。但是，在我的字典里，好男人 = 别人的。而且，像我之前形容的一样，粘着他的女生简直就是 - 多！！！轮了一辈子也轮不到我的。

这种男生的问题，我已经不想再和我认识的人讨论了。因为出来的结论只会有两个：1）你被推去那个男生那里（就是被鼓励提起勇气行动啦）结果越陷越深，2）越讨论就越看见那个男生的缺点。但多数都是第一个情况比较多！！！所以，何苦呢？？？跟自己讲讲，自己欣赏就好了。不用这么三八到处去讲。哈哈！！！

Heart Broken.....

My heart suddenly sinking deep down like a submarine was sinking back into the deep ocean when i found this pic....tat day when he was attending this he was having a high fever of 39 degree celcius....can u imagine that???And he's still smiling in front of the camera and in front of the fans and everyone there....if for me, i had already lie on the bed and cannot even move myself up to the toilet....but he is forcing himself to work!!! From this pic, we can see that his face is pale...it's not healthy look....i don't like this....i know i cant do anything here to help him, i can only pray that may GOD give him more strength to do wat he like.....and send someone to help him with all his work....i 1 him to be healthy.....so that i'll had his music forever.....

Hot Yoga

Yesterday i went to TRUE FITNESS in USJ to the trails....and i try out the hot yoga....it was ridiculous!!!The instructors were all from India and as you can imagine how the Indian speak with their slang....it's not easy for me to understand....Well, that's not the point. My point is, the moves are all so hyper!!! It might probably because i didn't stretch out myself for so long so i have some difficulties to do wat we are told to do. Besides that, i also don't really like that fitness centre. I don't know why. If compare to Fitness First, i still feel that it's better there than in True Fitness although the place is more larger than.

Erm, maybe it's hard to understand for the word HOT YOGA. It simply means that we're doing yoga inside a HOT room, that's abour 38 degree celcius. It's not that HOT, but once you stay inside and do all the yoga things, the sweats just flow out from every parts of your body without your knowledge. It's awsome!!! But this is only applicable for those who doesn't sweat in their normal lifetime. As for me, who sweats a lot, 24 hours non stop on the palm, i just don't understand why there's people go and purposely make themselve sweat. Well, i cant deny that it's kindda healthy for you to sweat but this situation is like forcing yourself too much!!! I cant take it. Haha!!!

And now, i can feel the pain around my waist and my thigh....haha....

My Dearly

After seeing all this pic of my dearly, i feel soo soo guilty of myself....no matter where he is and what he do, he always gives it a 100% performance. He wont even waste his time while waiting for the train to come...he keep himself updated and renewed his knowledge everytime by going to the bookstore to buy books or reading books....when he practice for the performance although he is quite good at it.....

How bout me???Whenever i'm waiting a bus, i just stand there stupidly by staring at the end of the road for the arrival of the bus....the most i'll do is listen to my mp3....Whenever i go to the bookstore, i will walk straight to the fashion magazines section instead of book section.....besides that i don't read in a bookstore where i admit that i do not like to read books....Whenever i play piano, i only play for those songs that i'm good with....i'll never try out and practice for a new pieces although i had been graduated from the musical school after grade 8.....

It's a huge contrast from my dear's life....it's just...totally different!!!! How can i be that.... He must had been disappointed to have this kind of fans.... I'd like to upgrade myself more often..... From now onwards, i'll commit myself onto all these things to upgrade myself....before changing the world, i must change myself first....GAMBATEH!!!!

What do you Feel?

38o超高溫 未來一周沒啦 2007/07/24 07:20 記者:記者陳俍任／台北報導
連續幾天超高溫，今天將有機會舒緩！中央氣象局指出，今天局部山區將出現午後雷陣雨，不過市區會下雨的地點不多，且全台除南投外，降雨機率只有百分之十到卅。

檳氣象局：陣雨持續至28日 民眾須防災情惡化updated:2007-07-24
（威南、大山腳訊）因豪雨而引發的威省及吉南大水災情況持續，其中威南災情最嚴重，因豪雨引發山洪，新邦安拔潤絨河水氾濫，導致新邦安拔和峇都交灣一帶週一（23日）早上水災情況惡化，238戶家庭超過1000名災黎疏散。

此外，檳州氣象局預測，馬六甲海峽及南中國海上空出現的大雲朵，使檳州近日連續數天下起陣雨，當局預料陣雨會持續至28日，因此民眾必須防備水災情況可能惡化。

威省已有3條河水的水位處於警戒水平，檳州水利灌溉局已啟動水泵機，以排出過多的水量。

新加坡•30年來上升兩度越來越熱updated:2007-07-23
（新加坡訊）全球暖化造成全球各地氣象出現變化，處於溫帶的四季國家最能明顯感受氣象變化所帶來的影響。身處四季如夏的新加坡，人們不容易感受全球暖化的影響，但變化卻已經悄然出現。

國大地理系副教授大衛•希傑特（DavidHiggit）說︰“70年代的平均溫度一直處於攝氏26度左右，但現在卻已經上升到28度，相差兩度左右。或許數字上看起來那並不算甚麼，但當它是年平均氣溫變化時，就算只是一度也是相當顯著的變化。”

====> After reading all these news, what do you feel? My heart always drop an inch whenever i heard all these news. All of these happens because of us....because of human!!!All of these are created by ouself. Now that the earth is sick, what did we do? Do we just leave it like that? Do we like the earth now more than before? No one ever think of that including me, not until the newspapers and multimedia started to inform us about the condition of the earth. Everything had change now. We MUST do our part to keep it alive!!! Mother Earth is now sick!!! LET US STAND UP AND HELP HER!!!It doesn't mean that you alone cannot do your part, everything have to start from YOU ALONE first!!!And get more people involved in this. I'm tryin my very best now, i wont switch on the aircond just to keep me feel cool, i wont throw the used paper away but to send it to recycle, i tried ask not to give plastic bags when i buy things, i tried my very best to reuse all the plastic material which are still good in condition. Although this wont help much, but at least i'm doing my part. We have to stand up and SAVE THE WORLD. There might be big possibility that the schene in the movie- THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW will arrive. Let's get started!!!

沉重的心情 17/7/2007

好久都没有一个人独处了，回家后都跟妈妈进进出出的，唯一一个人的时候就是看电视的时候。现在回到这个房间，感觉还真是出奇的寂寞。前两天的生活太充实了，把自己给搞垮了。所以今天先让自己休息一下，但没想到时间还真是难打发呀。

这次我有留级了，而这个学期我拿了一科务必要及格的科目-MBB。今天第一堂课老师就已强调了，我听了心里好难受！顿时就觉得为什么自己就是比别人笨，做什么都不会。书又不会读，试班班长又不会做，什么都不会，只会吃喝玩乐。这个不是笨是什么？

我很痛苦！总觉得这个年头事事都不顺，读书不顺、人际关系不顺、甚至连家里也不顺。从去年开始就被留级结果现在比别人慢、在人际关系上面也不顺，一大堆人不喜欢我（他们嘴上不说但其实我可以感受到他们对我的不耐烦），这个我也认了。反正一个人也没有什么不可以呀，而且我还有唯一的一个知己- Patricia。不知道是不是因为她人太好的关系所以我很喜欢和她在一起，不管和她讲什么她都会用心的听。家里-哼！更不用说了、老的是这样，小的也是这样。我妈辛苦，我好怕她有一天撑不下去了就会做那些我想也不敢想的事。我一定要快点毕业，我不可以在被留级了。我妈对我的期望很高！我不可以再让她失望。我已经三番两次的令她失望了，我一定要加把劲奋斗到底！我是妈妈的依靠了，我一定要很加油！不可以再被留级了！不管怎样我一定要很加油！从现在开始，我决定少于团契的人有互动。因为他们常常在周末会有活动，只要我远离他们我就不会面对这些诱惑。这个学期开始，每个周末我都要去找Patricia一起温书做功课。诗班班长的职位我也会辞掉，希望他们谅解我。我不可以再这样颓废下去了，我妈很需要我的！快快读完回去陪她，作她精神的支柱。明年的这个时候我一定要毕业！这是我对我自己的承诺！或许过程会很艰难，求主帮助我！我只要几个就好！我不要求多。

主啊！如果你看见我被撒旦攻击，求你一定要把握拉出来！
主啊！如果你看见我懒惰，求你一定要重重的惩罚我！
主啊！如果你看见我贪恋物质，求你一定要提醒我世界某个角落的需要！
主啊！我知道我是不配得到你的爱，我知道我是个罪人，我很清楚的知道唯有主你的宝血才能洗净我的一切罪恶。
主啊！求你看顾我，让撒旦远离我！

A pic i MUST Comment

This is the pic which i feel uncomfortable with. I just don't know why i have this kind of feeling. It's my dearest LEEHOM of course and i don't have the feeling of dislike Selina however. I just don't know why, i always feel uneasy when i see this pic. So i must shout it out here.

To me, LEEHOM in this pic seems to be uneasy as well. Maybe he might had been too tired due to his work load the day before he take this pic or capturing this MV. And that Selina's face is like...she's more willing to take this pic than LEEHOM did. It's like the guy was being forced to marry tat gal because tat gal is pregnant!!!Haha, i'm very bad!!!!

In conclusion, i don't like this pic.

New Campus....New Semester....

The new Monash campus is Malaysia had finally opened!!!This is ridiculous...it's so big and nice...everything is new...I so like the brand new LT and the lab and also the 3 level library....whenever i walk into this new campus, i have a strong desire to make me feel like studying...but the thing that i don't like is the cafeteria. It's not much choice to make compare to the one in sunway. I still prefer the sunway campus cafeteria. So lunch, we'd rather walk for 10 mins to the food court outside under the hot and striking sun....Now, i'm very worried for my skin....I'm goin to get a sunscream soon....

However, it sounds nice for all the new things....it's the toughest semester for me!!!I've once again fail one subject....so this sem i've to retake it again. This is not my point. My point is, this sem i'm takin one subject which only offered this sem. Which means if i do fail tat subject, i'll have to take 2 subject to replace that one subject....That's not the big deal yet...the big deal is that...that subject is the most horrible subject among all of the studies...(according to seniors)...if i din do well in the lab and assignemnt, it means i've fail the whole unit...which means i do not have to take the final exam anymore!!!!AAARRGGHHH.....i can't believe this....first day of the lec i've started to feel stress and cry at night because of imagining all the consequences....Not only this subject is a nightmare, there's 2 more subjects....This sems is the most horrible sem that i had ever take....and i think my study life is getting worst....i must do this....there's someone waiting on me and depending on me....i must not fall...i must stand straight....i must face all these....

GOD, please hold my hands when i'm lost.
GOD, please push me up when i fall.
GOD, please lighten up my path in front of me.
GOD, please take care of me so that i won't follow satan's pathway.
GOD, i have to be strong.
GOD, i have to be calm.
GOD, without YOU by my side i wont be able to do all these.
GOD, i knew YOU are always there.

My 21st Bday

These are the pic that i took by myself...includin all the ppl that gatherin around my house and my new hairstyle...haha...

1) My 21-year-old look....HEHEHE....COPYRIGHT from ELLA....hahaha

2) This is the receipt for my hairstyle....with the DAY that GOD created me....

3) Whole bunch of ppl tryin to give me surprise....but they fail instead....

夜间的灵感

每一次看回我所写的一些文章，都会觉得有种莫名的伤感。应该是因为我太敏感了吧，只要有一点点的芝麻绿豆，我就会觉得世界是灰暗的。这种现象在今年（我发现）特别严重。我甚至会开始怀疑别人对我的好，开始怀疑那个人对我的居心。我的世界突然变得好灰暗，以前在我心里的那颗太阳跑去那里了呢？难道真的像‘太阳浩劫Sunshine’那部戏里的太阳一样吗？

每次功课的压力都弄到我喘不过气来，有时候甚至想过放弃。但是，听见妈妈在电话里说我们是她的依靠时，就会有鼓动力让我继续下去。好想明天就立刻毕业，然后回家陪她。没关系，很快了。明年的这个时候就是我准备毕业的时候了。我一定不会再给我借口不极格，会不极格都是我自己造成的。我不会再让这样的事情再一次的发生。

虽然每次都会觉得人心好险恶，但至少我知道还是有一些面临绝种的人在外面。男生对我来说都是一样的，没有好和坏男人，只有用心或不用心。往往在我身边的都是一些吊儿郎当的，样子看起来是一脸正经但好像笑里都藏着一把刀。这难道就是单恋的后遗症吗? 我不敢否认，多多少少有一点成份在。我可以很肯定的说，神为我安排的那一位还没出现。没关系，耐心等待必要欢呼！神知道我什么时候准备好，什么时候最适合。我的一切的一切，神都知道。

就算全世界的人事物是假的，神对我的爱永远都是真的。一切权柄荣耀都是我父的。

原来我是那么在乎的 27/6/2007

一直以来我都知道我是很讨厌别人动了我的东西而不放回原位的，我还以为或许时间久了我的习惯会改。但原来不是的，本性就是如此了就很难改的了。

昨晚我因为安顿我外婆她们后就赶回来家开会。在我等着Monorail时容循打电话给我，跟我借衣服换，我也答应了而且还叫他随便（既然我不在家）。当我一到家时就发现我房间的灯是开着的，当我踏进房间时，里面是没有人的！更离谱的是，我的电脑是开着的，而且戏是被停顿（pause）在那里的！这还不是什么大件事，还有更离谱的是-他们竟让真的很听我的话-随便！原本花了一个早上收拾的房间，地上又放满了东西而且还真的是随便放的那种！

天啊！我给我自己的解释是-因为我们在外面开会所以没地方放。电脑呢-就是他们太闷了所以开来看。那灯呢，就是他们出去得太赶啦。在这些自我安慰的话后，心理至少没有这么难受了。

怎知我们一堆人出去帮思箐庆祝好生日回来后，我要准备冲凉时，发现我的衣服像被贼翻过一样（是我夸张了点），我心里顿时就有一股怒气涌上来。我一直对容循的印象都很好的，在我心目中她不像那种会做出以上种种事情的人。但我觉得罪魁祸首应该不只她一个。

我生气不是因为她们开我电脑看我的戏，我生气不是因为她们弄乱我房间和我的衣服，我气的是如果你要用我的电脑，那拜托你-如果你看到我没在家，麻烦你跟我所一声。难道我不会借吗？我有时虽然是吝奢了点，但这样的东西我没好吝奢的吧？最起码，你看好不用就这样开着放在那里吧？还要是停顿的（虽然我也常做这样的事），但我可不知道你们放它在那种情况多久了呀！这样对我电脑的系统带来很大的伤害呀！东西摊在地上我还没这么气，最气的就是我的衣服！明明排得好好的衣服被弄乱了！天啊！你要跟我借衣服，如果你要一件一件拉出来看它是怎样的，没关系！这是一定要的啊！我们去逛街不也是这样吗？但是，重点是，这里是我家啊！我的衣服都是我自己折的啊！你把它一件一件拉出来，最起码你也把它折回去让排好好的吧？这种原理应该没有很深吧？图书馆不也是每次都说：看过的书请放回原位吗？这是一样的道理啊！他们搞到好像逛街买衣服一样。

这虽然很小事，但我心里就是很不舒服。现在回想起来，那股怒气就是会上来。我这一生人最讨厌人家拿了我东西没放回原位和拿了我东西没经过我的同意！好气！！！气死我了！

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.....

Happy Birthday to ME....Happy Birthday to ME...Happy Birthday to Me...Happy Birthday to CINDY....Happy Birthday to me.....Haha....I've finally grown up to 21 years old liao lo....cant believe that i'm adult now...i'm no longer a child lo....Haha....So in order to make this day special, i get myself present and set myself a 21-year-old target....haha....i join California Fitness, go to have a nice nice haircut and change my look...i'll be totally different when u c me then....haha....

However, there's something disappoint me happen as well....there's two friends of mine who are very nice, wanted to bring me out to play....but then at last i found that they are all not willing to come out....they are like being force by me....they are all sooo tired and do not feel like shopping and they keep on mentioning something like....(the guy say)'come let's drive to shah alam lo?'--a girl whom he admire lives there....i know what he means....he means that if it wasn't me he'll be going to find that girl out instead of me. (though i dont know whether tat girl is free o not)....and another fren of mine (the gal) just finish work and was exhausted....i feel like she was dragging her body and walkin together....i just don't want other ppl to purposely suit themselve because i want to....i don't want to force ppl for that....though i din force them....but....i feel guilty when i heard all these words and see all their tired reaction....i feel guilty...i don't feel good....hai....

There'll be more pic for my 21st birthday coming...include my birthday present (that i buy for myself), my new hairstyle and stuff like that....hahaha....cant wait for that....but....i still have one more final paper 2molo....HUH.....this was like a cold water had been poured down on me....everyone had been enjoyin their holiday and i'm still forcing myself here to read d books....aduhai....

Suffering

In 4 hours time, i'll be sitting in the exam hall for my genetic final test. I am so tired....this is the first time ever i totally surrender myself for this. I feel so stupid and useless. I just cant remember what i've study and i cant understand what i study. I seriously dont want to let my parents down, i wanted them to feel proud for me. But i just cant do that!!! I'm so useless. I always letting them down. I'm so stupid. What i can do now is pray hard so that those things which i had studied and remembered well will be usefull in the paper later. I'm so tired of this final exam thingy.

A memorial Saturday

Last last saturday (3/6) it was the most happiest saturday i've ever had in my life. Thanks to my buddy-Shi Ling. If it wasn't her, i wont have the chance to eat those 5 stars korean feast, i wont go to 1-U and having fun, i wont go to True Fitness and see by myself how big it was, i wont be able to meet Nick Foong-the good-looking True Fitness counsellor....

Although all these seems normal, but i do had a memorial saturday ever in my life. I've never eat a real korean food....i just cant explain that....it's just....amazing....so bad that i din take some photo of how all the food looks like...because that restaurant is strictly prohibited for ppl to take photo....not for the food but even for the ppl...erm....i dun understand why but that's the rule...

So wish that i can eat some more special things for my coming birthday....i'm turning 21st....the birthday present that i wanted and will i'm the only one that can buy it for myself is to join as a member in California Fitness which will be opening soon in Sunway Pyramid....HOHOHO!!!!I cant wait to see Jackie Chan for that...my 21st target is to get slim....get fit....i don't wish for other ppls present (instead i wanted to stay alone during that day of mine, between me and GOD). Though i'm having exams now (which i'm suffering so much now), i'm always think of where to hide myself from all of the people i knows here. I just want to leave that day for me, alone! I just wanted to live that day without any earthly friends, i'll leave everything to GOD, appreciate GOD's making and GOD's working during that special day (for me). If it wasn't HIM, i won't be here.

Erm, i have to get back to study. O else Patricia will start mumbling besides me....hahah....

2007 American Idol

Congrats to Jordin Sparks, the new American Idol. Although i wasn't really supporting her, but so do have a great vocal. When she sing 'This is my Now', the producer's song made only for the Finale, she even touched herself whereby she shade into tears. But through that song, i believed that she've touched everyone in the theatre that night and of course including those watching her performance that night (including me). I've already had that song downloaded and everytime i listen to her version, my hairs stands onto the end!!! Like they are standing to show respect, wahaha!!! Good on you Jordin!!!Just in case you are wondering who Jordin is, i've got a pic here from americanidol.com to show you.

Well, i feel a little bit disappointed for Blake Lewis (the one i supporting). He din get to the top. But at least he had made it to the finale and had done such a great performance ever. He is such a talent in beat-boxing. But i must not deny that he cannot do well in ballet song where Jordin do did well in this. Haha, i sounds like one of d judges. Wahaha. Here is a pic of Blake Lewis:

(this was the pic taken when he was singin 'this is my now')

HUH, i'm so into american idol these days. Although it's the end for this season, i still keep on refreshing on the performances by watching the video on youtube. Haha, really feel glad for those who post up the videos there. And also, the reasons for me to gettin mad of this reality show is that there will have a lot of great artist performin like Bon Jovi:

Gwen Stefani, Maroon 5, Chris Doughtry, Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood.....whole lots more. Besides that, there will have some artist who come and watch the shows. It's the Fantastic Four:

Testimony

I wanna spend some time writing my testimony here...I've never done it before...so i'd decided to do it now...

Last weeks is the busiest week i've ever had...i've been struggling sooo sooo much for my assignment and reports....it's been a tough time whereby i have no idea how am i goin to start for that and besides, i've sooo many things to settle like choir committee meeting, fellowship praise and worship thing...and also there's something happen in my family as well....all of these stress and tiredness makes me feel so hard to breath....how i wish i'd can skip everything here....gone far away to a world where no one will recognise me....then started to pray to GOD....tell HIM whatever i feel deep down in my heart...tell HIM how i suffered from this world....tell HIM my disappointment....then there's one day, when i came in to the class i heard people whispering bout the extension of the assignment...then this is first time ever i approach to someone i don't even know her name to ask for that....i was almost shade in tears when i heard that that girl told me...she say someone ask for the extension on the assignments and our lecturer had approve that...THANK GOD!!!Then with all the pack schedule that i used to had the day before, it change totally to the schedule which i can fit and done everything on time. THANK GOD for that....Although it's hard to believe that, it's true....it's my testimony here.

GOD is the almighty GOD who walks alongside with us....i never feel alone...whenever i'm facing any problem, i knew that there's someone holding my hands and guiding me showing me the bright path....whenever i walk too fast, HE will told me to slow down....i just can heard his voice beside me, leading me guiding me....too complicated ho....for example: when there's one time i feel super stress up and i forgot to seek for his kingdom, there will have a song that make me remember him....like BON JOVI's 'livin on the prayer' and 'keep the faith'....although BON JOVI does not directly sing the words of GOD, but through the words in his song it's sounds like GOD was talking to me....i feel sooo thankful that i had GOD to be walk with....

If u think that i sound ridiculous, nevermind. I'll continue to pray for you. I believe that there will have one day we'll be sitting together in the kingdom of glory. Do you want to take Jesus Christ as your personal saviour??? Take a deep thought of that. May all glory were given unto him!!! Alleluia....

BON JOVI ROCKS.....

I just cant believe that i'm so addicted into Bon Jovi recently because of the theme (Bon Jovi's Song) in American Idol. I'm so addicted to him!!! Although last time i've been addicted once since their album 'Crush' but now, they will be back again with their new album 'Lost Highway'....i cant wait for that....

Recently i've been downloading some of their top songs and found that they are superbly nice....i've never knew that....their songs is soo soo sooo nice....HUH!!!! I'm getting too excited bout them....and the most important thing is that...the vocal -Jon Bon Jovi is the man!!!! He is such a gorgeous man...a nice man...he is so rational....he is so fair to everyone...he tell the truth and scold the contestant necessary....hug them and kiss them when necessary to keep the contestant feels good....WOW!!!! I'm just too addicted to the band right now....the band won't live without everyone...they are the longest rock band every present in this world....

BON JOVI ROCKS....


This is the man whom i think will be the AMERICAN IDOL 2007....he got the package...he is talented...able to take the risk where even Jon Bon Jovi say that he was rolling on a dice...but he made it!!!!YEAH!!!!

Best Friends Birthday

It's one of my best friend's birthday yesterday. In the past i used to prepare a lot of things for her during this particular day like i'll spend so many effort on her present and spend so much money on the cake or celebration and stuff like that. Well, i don't mind to spend all these for her but everytime after her birthday i'll have the emptyness inside me. I just do not feel happy after spending so much effort. Maybe because she was too popular and everyone wants to spend the time with her during that particular day. So this year, i do not spend any time with her. Of course i still buy something for her. But it's just a handphone hanger and there's no cake from me this year. I just fed up with everything. Once i spend so much effort on something, and when i don't get the reaction i want i'll feel super down. So this time i just make everything clear and simple. More expectation will leads to more disappointment. This phrase always reminds me when i'm doing something which sometimes seems to be meaningless to me.

Today there are cell group gathering. And guess what i'm doing now???I'm sitting in the comp lab here searching for info for my cell met assignment. Actually i do it purposely coz i don't want to socialize with other ppl now (although most of the members are my frens). I just don't feel like socializing with the outside world now. I'd prefer to keep everything all inside me. I started to have the feeling whereby i feel like it's meaningless for me to get socialized to the outside world. I feel like no one is going to listen to me. But don't worry, i wont collapse one. Talk to myself wont hurt my heart one. Haha

A 5 Star Weekend

I've been spending my weekend with my parents whom come here to play and live in a 5 star hotel - ParkRoyale KL. Though this is not my first time to stay there, but i still loved to live there. It's just super nice. Especially the buffet breakfast and dinner that they had. It's gorgeous. I can say that i've travelled throughout the world (in terms of food) in two days time. I keep on eating super lot of sashimi and whole lot of desserts which we can only see from magazines or advertisement. I just cant believe that i see the real thing displaying in front of me calling me to eat them. This is call 5 STAR man!!!Besides that, every morning at the reception counter there will have fresh apple for you to eat. So i took one per day and keep it instead of eating it. HUH!!!I just super like that hotel.

And ho we accidentally or rather purposely go to Sg Wang to have a walk around and see this handsome Chen Shi An and the beautiful girl JOJO (Tat's wat they call them) standing on the stage. Let me post some pic that i've taken.


Haha, these are the Malaysian artist that i met la. Although they are not that popular or well known, but at least i know that guy ler. He's kindda good looking o.

Besides that, i've meet MY fm ford everest tak gong dui in Lot 10 also wo. We all like see what they give and what they play lo. N ho n ho, when we go to midvalley...when we wanted to take the cab and get back to the hotel, we see Sultan's car parkind outside the south court entrance ler. It's seriously Malaysia SULTAN's car ler. My dad recognize that car is the most expensive car whereby it was imported from england and which roughly cost about RM100K ler. HUH!!! Cant imagine ler. Then we ask the taxi driver. He say is the Sultan here in midvalley coz only he can have his car like that (without car numbers but just the Sultan logo on the car). But then he say dunno is from which state one la. HEHEHE....i do see a lot of things ler this weekend. Too enjoy and relax liao.

A meaningful Flow Chart

下面这个网站好有意思哦，我自己看了一直在那里不停的点头赞同。
http://www.oicq88.com/999/love3.htm
文章里面说到一句话：‘爱情是坚贞的也是最不可靠的东西’。哇，这句话我可是赞成到五体投地呀。看到所有的结论都是--痛苦+结束，这不仅让我怀疑爱情对人的重要性。难道人就真得不能没有爱情吗？有了爱情的那些认真的都会“痛苦+结束”吗？

这些种种的怀疑和猜测，加上看见种种没有结局的爱情的我对爱情这回事。。。看不开呀。不是因为我悲观，换做是你的话，你也不能会乐观到哪里去的。一次的失败就已经够痛苦的了，难道我还要在伤口洒盐吗？和另一半手牵着手走在街上的画面对我来说只是一场梦。现实生活里的我就连和同性的拍党一起出去玩并手牵着手的画面已经算是很珍贵的了，更何况是与异性。

我的生活里面永远都只有我自己。遇到什么困难悲伤，除了祷告求主帮助外我还是自己一个人。在我的字典里，永远没有比朋友更深的‘朋友’。就算有的话也只是在我的梦里。在梦里多自由，想干什么就干什么；我甚至很享受在梦里与力宏手牵着手逛街的画面。有时梦给人的感觉好真实，虽然醒来后会有小小的失落，但无可否认的是--那种甜甜的感觉是不会被破坏的。

只有耶稣对我们的爱是真实的。他对我们的爱是永不改变的。为什么我们渴望得到人的爱而不去接受主对我们的爱呢？那种爱世人无法给的，只有他能够。

Wireless....Hurray!!!!

I cant believe i'm using wireless to online now here in LCCT. Wahahaha, first time ler. Fortunately i've got my battery charged. Wahaha, cant believe it. Although it's kindda slow la, but i still think it's great. It's my first time using wireless ler!!! Somemore it's after my comp went into hospital. I just so love it after it was released from the 'Hospital" ler....hehehe....nothing to do now ler so post my blog lo....hehehe....

So excited i'm going back home liao. I'll see Jocelyn in 5 hours time. I just cant wait for that. I miss her soooo much. I miss her voice....I miss every part of her....Hurray....I'm so happy n excited now although i din have enough sleep last nite (for 3 hours nia o)....hahaha

Busy and Sick week

Busy is the word that i'm telling everyone around me. There are endless reports and assignments for me to hand in before i'm off for my break. Although it sounds nice, but during the break i won't be free as well. I'll have to study for my cell met whereby i'm always lost in the lec and i've to think of the self design experiment that will happen after the break....HUH....everything just come and come and come. I just don't even have time to breath.

I've been spending my whole weekend with my sis whole family. Of coz with my dearest Jocelyn as well. She's super cute. When she call me, i feel like melting. Her tiny voice was sooo cute and it sounds nice. So happy to see her again. Well, i'm getting a little bit of flu and some sore throat. Because there's one morning we brought her to the hotel swimming pool. Fortunately she din get sick, but her aunty here get sick. Hahaha...which mean i'm even weaker than her. Well, actually it's good for me to sick as well coz it's the time for me to change my internal immune system as well.

This weekend, i'll be heading to my hometown again lo. I can't wait for that. But i'm starting to worry for the books and reports that i'm going to bring back. HUH!!!! Whatever i say now is reports, assignments and study. Started to feel stress up now. Stress up in my work and stress up in socializing with ppl. I just don't wanted to even talk to those who i knew so much. I started to have a very negative feeling whereby i feel that everyone is so so so different from the outside. They are just so unreal. I just don't know why tat i do not feel good in getting to know others. I feel good with myself. So i still prefer to keep everything myself and post it up here instead of writing out into my diary. Tired....

全身酸痛--muscle fatigue

哇，只要我动一动我的手就觉得好痛。前两天参加团契的营会，一到家就不省人事了四小时。这次的营会，或许只有两天一夜的关系，所以没有依依不舍。反而觉得于人的关系变淡了，应该和我玩在一块的反而不理我，而我也觉得好像没话和她说。难道我们的友谊就只是这么肤浅吗？或许她觉得不舒服吧，有或许她太忙了吧。这些我都不想多想。现在的我只知道我原来是没有朋友的！！！原来好像可以和每个人玩成一块的我只是我的表面，而其实大家是不喜欢我的。虽然大家都没有表现出来，但我有一颗敏感的心。你们没有表现出来的，我都看得见只是我不说而已。没关系啦，又不是第一次这样了。难道我是第一天认识他们吗？既然知道他们是这种人了，那我也不需要这么在意了。但，难道说不在意就会不在意吗？一个伤口愈合了总会留下伤疤的。

还好有一位温柔体贴的梅琴在一旁帮助我，鼓励我。不然我真的很难想象现在的我还会不会继续把欢乐带给大家。我一个人伤心流泪就好，不要连累别人。世界因爱发光！！！神爱世人，所以我也要学着把神的爱带给其他人。加油！！！虽然这种日子会很难熬，但有神与我同在我并不孤单也不害怕。我知道有一双手永远都在牵着我，带领着我。人不喜欢我没关系，神一定不会离弃我。

Tough reports

I've been facing a real big problem this sem. My lab partner (for one of my subject) are all sucks....this is the first time i've been using this harsh word to describe someone. But i can't help it, i just cannot control myself from calling them this. I thought i was the blurress person in the lab, who knows that there was someone blurrer than me!!!How can it be!!! The girl even ask me 'what have we done last week?'. WOW!!!!This was super 'cool'. She had been attend to the lab for two weeks and she do not know what had she been doing there in the lab for 3 hours time??? This is ridiculous. HUH...*cooling down*....whatever, just don't care for them. Fortunately we don't have to share our reports as well.

Yesterday i've been sitting in the computer lab for almost 6 hours just to figure out how to analyse and present the results into my lab report. Thank GOD that i had Patricia (a good helper) sitting beside me and helping me to analyse all the statements. It was GOD who arrange her to be at my side whenever i've been facing problem in my reports and stuff. I feel so thankful whenever i see her.

Last weeks i've been busy for the church stuff. That's the first time i feel that i was super busy and i was almost getting mad about everything. Even Jennifer was frightened by me. And for this week, there's a world's toughest report to be done and handed in on Monday. Sometimes i feel like i almost collapse, but whenever i see Jocelyn's pic in my handphone or even her voice calling me fron the other side of the phone, there will be a voice telling me that i had to set a good example for her refer when she grown up. She's my motivation for everything. And of course my mum is the one who motivates me as well. I swear to myself that i must graduate and get a nice job and let her had a better life to live. I just feel useless whenever i saw her suffering there all by herself.

Soo....have to get back and do my reports....or else....i don't even dare to think about it....Gambateh!!!

Tired again!!!!

This week is the most tiring week for me. The reason that causes me to get this tired is not because that i started to have lab reports and stuff to do and to pass up, but is because of the emmcf things. Tomorrow is the day where we promote our choir. I'm the class rep for the choir so i have to be the one who handling all these things. I was super exhausted. There's a lot of things that i do not know how to do but i can see that GOD is beside me. HE is always there helping me for everything. HE bring others to me and help me so that i won't be suffering all alone. Although i feel tired and exhausted, i still feel energetic and excited for everything i've been doing now. It's different from the exhaustion that i used to had last time.

Nothing is Complicated

One of my housemate wanted to move out from the house since her sister was moving back to their hometown. Then, she was suggesting another guy to move into her room and ask me whether i wanted to move or not. Well, i was lazy to move out as you know moving out require so so much of energy and time. It's so troublesome. Somemore i only have one more year left here. So i do not feel to move. However, another housemate of mine think another way. He said he do not want someone he don't know to move into the house. Does he means that he wanted to cover up the rental for the empty room all by himself??? I definitely wont share the rental with him.

Everything is just so simply. Just one go and one in and that's it. Why must he make it so complicated??? I just don't understand.