上几个星期看完了这部剧，今天再看一次的我还是有一样的感觉。不晓得为什么，这部剧就是有一种很有力的感染力，令看了两次的我还是会有那种热血沸腾的感觉。而且啊，看了第二次更能够体验到小野田的魅力。小野田虽然是傻傻笨笨的，但她就是会有那种力量，能够把一般人想不通的事情简单化。看到第五集就真的可以看见小野田的魅力，看她怎样点醒千秋前辈解决S乐团的难题。真的好厉害！
看见S乐团第一次的公演就获得这么热烈的回响，再看着这部剧的我真的被他们的演奏感染（虽然我知道不是真的）。当然，这部剧也让我再一次接触到古典乐，我最后一次接触到古典乐应该是6年前吧。Beethoven Symphony No.7真的好好听哦！而且啊，听到最后真的会和小野田一样，会感动到流泪也！我没有夸张哦！果然，古典乐真的很有感染力。
而且我比较佩服的是千秋前辈的耐心。虽然他的脾气（在剧里）不是很好，虽然他三番四次的对小野田‘拳打脚踢’，但还是可以看到他对小野田的关心。好羡慕哦！如果我也像小野田一样这么勇敢的追求的话，我想现在的我应该和她一样过着幸福快乐的日子吧。就像小野田一样，天生条件就不好，所以不能够和那些天生条件就好的人一样，静静的坐在那里等待，唯有自己勇敢地去追求咯。我啊，悲哀啊！每一次要鼓起勇气，就一定会有一些不可思议的事情出现，让我跌到谷底。已经好几次了，眼泪已经流不出来了，也不想再为这种事情困扰了。咳！所以啊，在我的字典里面：王子和公主是不会过着幸福和快乐的日子的。如果你是过着幸福快乐的日子的那种，那恭喜你得奖了！
星期二, 5月 05, 2009
2.5.09 Music Man演唱会
我回来了！（其实已经回来好多天了！）我真的好厉害，破了我个人世界纪录了我！特地飞到kl看这场演唱会、和两年不见的老友聊天到不想睡觉、隔天太阳还没醒我就已经在巴士上要去机场了、到了机场吃了一个五星级的早餐来补充我只有三个小时睡眠的体力。这就是我的行程！当我回到家，照理来说应该是直接瘫在床上了，结果我精神百倍！果然，早餐真的是一天的开始的关键！我还真是有点明白那些艺人每天过这种日子的感觉，如果是我我应该早就崩溃了。
真的很感谢主，真的很用力的在听我的祷告。演唱会前的一个星期，我就一直在祷告说：出了名误点的飞机到了当天千万千万给我乖乖的、让我的朋友能够找到去体育馆的路、看完了能够很顺利的就和老友见面、隔天去机场又是出了名误点的巴士也千万给我乖乖的！果然，神真的是听祷告的主。这一切的一切，太顺利了！虽然身体很累，但精神和心灵都满满的！
我真的好讨厌没钱的感觉，不能够买前面一点的位置。但，整场演唱会我真的是满high的。PO几张照片吧！
死人手挡住我！
我的5星级早餐！
只睡了3个小时的我...一点都看不出来吧！（我回来后那个眼袋差点掉出来，眼睛好像化烟熏妆一样。。。哈哈）
真的很感谢主，真的很用力的在听我的祷告。演唱会前的一个星期，我就一直在祷告说：出了名误点的飞机到了当天千万千万给我乖乖的、让我的朋友能够找到去体育馆的路、看完了能够很顺利的就和老友见面、隔天去机场又是出了名误点的巴士也千万给我乖乖的！果然，神真的是听祷告的主。这一切的一切，太顺利了！虽然身体很累，但精神和心灵都满满的！
我真的好讨厌没钱的感觉，不能够买前面一点的位置。但，整场演唱会我真的是满high的。PO几张照片吧！
死人手挡住我！
我的5星级早餐！
只睡了3个小时的我...一点都看不出来吧！（我回来后那个眼袋差点掉出来，眼睛好像化烟熏妆一样。。。哈哈）
星期三, 4月 29, 2009
兼差！！！
每个人都在说:经济不景气
原本没有很在意的我
现在...
是时候醒了！
有个问题是我从小一直问到现在
而且一直都没有答案
应该是说：没有人能够回答我！
为什么我出生在这个家庭？
为什么我的家人和别人不一样？
为什么别人家都很好而我们家...
为什么我这么没有用？
为什么我的工钱只有这么少？
为什么我这么会花钱？
我会弹琴
为什么我就是不能够弹得跟他们一样好？
为什么会弹琴的我跟不会的没两样？
我会英文
为什么我的程度这么差？
为什么我就是写不出好的报告？
成千上万个为什么....
我已经不想再问了。
真的好累
心灵好累
好想就这样跑掉
但钱真的是我很重的绊脚石
想要找兼差的我
很用力的在想
我到底会什么？
想再一次做钢琴老师
又怕我不能教好学生破坏那件学校的声誉
想到星巴克去至少可以对着我喜欢的咖啡
又怕我做得不够水准破坏星巴克的招牌
我还能做什么？
主啊！
我到底会什么？
怎办？
再这样下去我真地会崩溃
直从来到这个陌生的城市以后
虽然我好像在公司混得蛮开心的
我开始讨厌我自己
我竟然是双面人！
我已经好久都没有真正的开心地笑了
在公司里笑得好像很开心的我
其实都只是在掩饰我自己
有一天我真的崩溃怎办？
我辛苦的妈妈怎办？
我那就来失业的姐怎办？
我那没用的弟弟怎办？
不管再怎样痛苦我都要忍
不管再怎样艰难我也要忍
不管钱够不够用我都要忍
我快不行了！！！
原本没有很在意的我
现在...
是时候醒了！
有个问题是我从小一直问到现在
而且一直都没有答案
应该是说：没有人能够回答我！
为什么我出生在这个家庭？
为什么我的家人和别人不一样？
为什么别人家都很好而我们家...
为什么我这么没有用？
为什么我的工钱只有这么少？
为什么我这么会花钱？
我会弹琴
为什么我就是不能够弹得跟他们一样好？
为什么会弹琴的我跟不会的没两样？
我会英文
为什么我的程度这么差？
为什么我就是写不出好的报告？
成千上万个为什么....
我已经不想再问了。
真的好累
心灵好累
好想就这样跑掉
但钱真的是我很重的绊脚石
想要找兼差的我
很用力的在想
我到底会什么？
想再一次做钢琴老师
又怕我不能教好学生破坏那件学校的声誉
想到星巴克去至少可以对着我喜欢的咖啡
又怕我做得不够水准破坏星巴克的招牌
我还能做什么？
主啊！
我到底会什么？
怎办？
再这样下去我真地会崩溃
直从来到这个陌生的城市以后
虽然我好像在公司混得蛮开心的
我开始讨厌我自己
我竟然是双面人！
我已经好久都没有真正的开心地笑了
在公司里笑得好像很开心的我
其实都只是在掩饰我自己
有一天我真的崩溃怎办？
我辛苦的妈妈怎办？
我那就来失业的姐怎办？
我那没用的弟弟怎办？
不管再怎样痛苦我都要忍
不管再怎样艰难我也要忍
不管钱够不够用我都要忍
我快不行了！！！
星期二, 4月 21, 2009
被人告了！！！
原本很悠闲的下午被一通电话毁了，说什么我们没有事先通知他什么的...反正就是怪我们没有通知他，而且还出了PO给他...没完没了的。这通电话，感谢主不是我接到，真的辛苦了我那位同事。结果对方威胁说要我们等着收信。这句话听起来有一点严重，威力还真是蛮大的！但经过我们几个同事在那里开玩笑之后，顿时觉得-其实也不过如此嘛！
其实我到现在会耿耿于怀是因为，这件事是我开始负责的。当初也是我在那里拼命催人家的，我当然也是被催得那个啦！所以这种东西其实就是一个‘食物链’来的。很烦！现实+残酷的社会就是这样，这是我开始上班到现在所学到的东西。我开始觉得，我不能够像以前一样交朋友。原本以为好不容易遇到一位姐妹，而且还蛮聊得来的，结果隔天回到公司被同事泼冷水，说不能什么都和她聊，尤其是公司的东西。我...不敢大大声的回答‘我没有’因为我真的有和她聊到一些公事，但我纯粹只是想问她意见，这位姐妹是真的很乐于助人的一个人。我真的很感谢主让我认识她。那天第一天去团契，心里很不舒服，大家都很热情但我总觉得我不能够再像以前一样在团契过日子。那整个的心态已经不一样了，对身边所有人有所保留的心越来越严重了。我开始觉得我不能够再像以前一样交朋友了！现在的我...反正就是，不敢认识人就对了啦！怎办？？？
刚刚想了好久的我（有关被告的事），虽然觉得他有可能是在吓我们，我们也当然对我们CEO的能力很有信心，但白痴的我还是会想：如果我们老板娘真的要我对这件事负责的话，我当然没有选择啦！我刚刚跟神励志了，我跟上帝讲说，如果真是因为这样我没这份工的话、又或许我从此不能在这一行立足的话，我就去宣教工厂做全时间的宣教士！不管是上DOULOS也好、LOGOS ＨＯＰＥ也好、进ＯＭ也好、去台湾日本也好、在深山野岭也好，反正就是宣教士就对了啦！或许我有可能是因为一时冲动想太多，但常常我祷告的时候都会跟神提到这一点。我相信圣灵在做工了，现在的我应该还没预备好吧，等我预备好我一定会去。日本一定是我的下一站，不是因为山下，而是从日剧里领悟了很多他们拜偶像的心态，他们科技发达不代表人的内心里就满足。日本人内心真的好空虚，他们唯有拜拜、求平安符、依靠科技来填满他们内心的空虚。下一站：日本！！！ＮＥＸＴ ＳＴＡＴＩＯＮ：ＮＩＨＯＮ ＤＥＳＵ！！！
其实我到现在会耿耿于怀是因为，这件事是我开始负责的。当初也是我在那里拼命催人家的，我当然也是被催得那个啦！所以这种东西其实就是一个‘食物链’来的。很烦！现实+残酷的社会就是这样，这是我开始上班到现在所学到的东西。我开始觉得，我不能够像以前一样交朋友。原本以为好不容易遇到一位姐妹，而且还蛮聊得来的，结果隔天回到公司被同事泼冷水，说不能什么都和她聊，尤其是公司的东西。我...不敢大大声的回答‘我没有’因为我真的有和她聊到一些公事，但我纯粹只是想问她意见，这位姐妹是真的很乐于助人的一个人。我真的很感谢主让我认识她。那天第一天去团契，心里很不舒服，大家都很热情但我总觉得我不能够再像以前一样在团契过日子。那整个的心态已经不一样了，对身边所有人有所保留的心越来越严重了。我开始觉得我不能够再像以前一样交朋友了！现在的我...反正就是，不敢认识人就对了啦！怎办？？？
刚刚想了好久的我（有关被告的事），虽然觉得他有可能是在吓我们，我们也当然对我们CEO的能力很有信心，但白痴的我还是会想：如果我们老板娘真的要我对这件事负责的话，我当然没有选择啦！我刚刚跟神励志了，我跟上帝讲说，如果真是因为这样我没这份工的话、又或许我从此不能在这一行立足的话，我就去宣教工厂做全时间的宣教士！不管是上DOULOS也好、LOGOS ＨＯＰＥ也好、进ＯＭ也好、去台湾日本也好、在深山野岭也好，反正就是宣教士就对了啦！或许我有可能是因为一时冲动想太多，但常常我祷告的时候都会跟神提到这一点。我相信圣灵在做工了，现在的我应该还没预备好吧，等我预备好我一定会去。日本一定是我的下一站，不是因为山下，而是从日剧里领悟了很多他们拜偶像的心态，他们科技发达不代表人的内心里就满足。日本人内心真的好空虚，他们唯有拜拜、求平安符、依靠科技来填满他们内心的空虚。下一站：日本！！！ＮＥＸＴ ＳＴＡＴＩＯＮ：ＮＩＨＯＮ ＤＥＳＵ！！！
星期五, 4月 17, 2009
Good to be HOME
It's been a long time since the last time my empty heart fill with love! Thank GOD for the Good Friday and Easter Day that slap me hard on the face to wake my sleeping and closed heart up once again. Praise GOD for that!
It has been a long time since the last time i try to step into the church for the prayer meeting. Last nite, after the yoga class, i step into the English Prayer Meeting for the first time. Oh Thank GOD for that, i feel real happy i made it!!! I could feel that my empty heart had been filled once again.
Good Friday and Easter day was not only meant for non-Christian, but also for 'sleeping' Christian like me. The first was burning once again inside me. Everytime i step into the church, whenever i pray about myself, i'll keep asking GOD to get me ready that one day i'm gonna go to the missionary field once again!!!
Pray hard for me on that!
It has been a long time since the last time i try to step into the church for the prayer meeting. Last nite, after the yoga class, i step into the English Prayer Meeting for the first time. Oh Thank GOD for that, i feel real happy i made it!!! I could feel that my empty heart had been filled once again.
Good Friday and Easter day was not only meant for non-Christian, but also for 'sleeping' Christian like me. The first was burning once again inside me. Everytime i step into the church, whenever i pray about myself, i'll keep asking GOD to get me ready that one day i'm gonna go to the missionary field once again!!!
Pray hard for me on that!
星期三, 4月 08, 2009
What's Wrong with Me???
What is wrong with me???
Why did i start to act like i'm not the real me?
What had made me change this lot?
How do i had these kind of attitude?
When do i had all these bad manner?
Where does all these comes from?
Or was this the real me that i had never discovered?
No one could answer me all these question.
I had been questioning myself over and over again.
The more question i ask, the more i hate myself.
Though bible tells us that we should love others like love ourself.
But
I start to question myself:
Do i love myself?
I Do Not:-
i) Have good manner, always do everything on my own without acknowledging the others
ii) Know the proper way to communicate and always keep quiet on everythin
iii) Know how to mix with people around me
iv) Have the attitude that should have when living under other's roof
v) Look the same from the outside
With all these bad manner and attitude i had,
I couldn't convince people around me to love me.
For anyone who knew me,
I'm sorry to tell you that i'm not what you see.
I could be graded into the witch category.
I'm not good at anything.
Even if i die, the soil wont accept my body.
Though i knew GOD will accept me.
But
I do not have the face to see GOD in the heaven.
What should i do?
Leehom said: "Change me, Change the world!"
How should i change???
Why did i start to act like i'm not the real me?
What had made me change this lot?
How do i had these kind of attitude?
When do i had all these bad manner?
Where does all these comes from?
Or was this the real me that i had never discovered?
No one could answer me all these question.
I had been questioning myself over and over again.
The more question i ask, the more i hate myself.
Though bible tells us that we should love others like love ourself.
But
I start to question myself:
Do i love myself?
I Do Not:-
i) Have good manner, always do everything on my own without acknowledging the others
ii) Know the proper way to communicate and always keep quiet on everythin
iii) Know how to mix with people around me
iv) Have the attitude that should have when living under other's roof
v) Look the same from the outside
With all these bad manner and attitude i had,
I couldn't convince people around me to love me.
For anyone who knew me,
I'm sorry to tell you that i'm not what you see.
I could be graded into the witch category.
I'm not good at anything.
Even if i die, the soil wont accept my body.
Though i knew GOD will accept me.
But
I do not have the face to see GOD in the heaven.
What should i do?
Leehom said: "Change me, Change the world!"
How should i change???
星期六, 4月 04, 2009
说不出的情绪
这个星期的我把我一个月的工钱几乎用完了！都是因为自己本咯，眼睛不知道长在哪里，结果可怜的车胎被我撞破了一个洞。虽然不是我自己的车，心还是蛮痛的。当自己发现我撞破了车胎，当下的我真的好无助，电话拿出来不知道要打给谁。好不容易厚着脸皮打给我舅母（车主），结果我还是一个人很无助地再现场等了大半天，还是没人来，后来才发现他们的车也是不晓得为什么睡不醒。之后我想了好久，电话拿起来打给了一位除了公事以外不会找的人-男同事，很感谢主的是，还好我没有继续在那里痴等，不然我就不用上班了！最后还是这位认识三个多月的男同事帮我弄好了！弄好了一路在车上思过，发觉自己真得很没用，这点小小的事情自己不会做，就是要靠别人。无助的那种感觉，好痛苦。如果我在那里哭...我干嘛哭啊？如果我自己搞定...弄坏了我是没命赔也！如果我在民都鲁...那就代表我没工作啦！如果我有男朋友...搞不好连他也不会。咳哟，我讨厌靠人的感觉啦！为什么自己那么笨，这么多事情自己不会做！好气哦！
回到家想说看看有哪部日剧能够让我发泄情绪的，结果没有，看了一堆没营养的日剧。一直到现在，才终于看到一部感同身受的日剧。剧里山下深爱的女生跟别人结婚了，因为那个女生很失望的跟他说他很不懂得明白她的思绪，所以那个女生最后跟他们的班主任结婚。山下真的是...哭都没有眼泪了！其实我和剧里的山下一样，我也有他在剧里的那种情况出现。虽然我常跟自己讲说，时间是最好的解药，但其实不是也。就连我出国去都会被我遇到长得和那个他很像的人！我是说真的哦，这世界另一个角落真的有长得相似的人也，不只长相哦，就连性格也有60%像也，太不可以思议了！其实那个男生我一直认为我已经忘记他了，但没想到事隔多年了，我还是会偶尔想念和他在一起的时光。尤其是这部剧‘求婚大作战’真的是...我的情况真的真的和剧里的山下是一样的，差别只在于他是男生我是女生。人家常说：初恋时最难忘的！我那个算个国家的恋啊？这么痛苦的回忆我真的恨不得把它埋起来，让它自己腐化。但，就像我讲的，事隔多年，自己以为已经忘记了，其实不是也！那道疤太深了，已经变成刺了，就连和我曾经认为和我是好姐妹的四党也断绝联络了，就因为这个男生。虽然我也曾经想过自己主动找回这一位四党，但只要我一想到她的名字就会让我联想到那个男生的。不行！DAME~~
现在的我，常常有一种说不出的情绪...好像是太寂寞，但我和同事们混得蛮ok的啊！但就是有一种感觉...好像差了那么一点点。应该是我太闲空了啦！搞得我的思绪太清楚了，所以会乱想！但...这个感觉，我只能逃避它一时，避不了一世。那个感觉好像有一点：寂寞+空虚+...好像现在的我不是从前的我了，就连我自己也觉得我不是我了！完蛋~~我应该怎么办？
回到家想说看看有哪部日剧能够让我发泄情绪的，结果没有，看了一堆没营养的日剧。一直到现在，才终于看到一部感同身受的日剧。剧里山下深爱的女生跟别人结婚了，因为那个女生很失望的跟他说他很不懂得明白她的思绪，所以那个女生最后跟他们的班主任结婚。山下真的是...哭都没有眼泪了！其实我和剧里的山下一样，我也有他在剧里的那种情况出现。虽然我常跟自己讲说，时间是最好的解药，但其实不是也。就连我出国去都会被我遇到长得和那个他很像的人！我是说真的哦，这世界另一个角落真的有长得相似的人也，不只长相哦，就连性格也有60%像也，太不可以思议了！其实那个男生我一直认为我已经忘记他了，但没想到事隔多年了，我还是会偶尔想念和他在一起的时光。尤其是这部剧‘求婚大作战’真的是...我的情况真的真的和剧里的山下是一样的，差别只在于他是男生我是女生。人家常说：初恋时最难忘的！我那个算个国家的恋啊？这么痛苦的回忆我真的恨不得把它埋起来，让它自己腐化。但，就像我讲的，事隔多年，自己以为已经忘记了，其实不是也！那道疤太深了，已经变成刺了，就连和我曾经认为和我是好姐妹的四党也断绝联络了，就因为这个男生。虽然我也曾经想过自己主动找回这一位四党，但只要我一想到她的名字就会让我联想到那个男生的。不行！DAME~~
现在的我，常常有一种说不出的情绪...好像是太寂寞，但我和同事们混得蛮ok的啊！但就是有一种感觉...好像差了那么一点点。应该是我太闲空了啦！搞得我的思绪太清楚了，所以会乱想！但...这个感觉，我只能逃避它一时，避不了一世。那个感觉好像有一点：寂寞+空虚+...好像现在的我不是从前的我了，就连我自己也觉得我不是我了！完蛋~~我应该怎么办？
星期三, 3月 25, 2009
被洗脑的危机
每当公司有人来，而且只要是和我的职位有一点点关系的我就要做‘陪客’。哈哈！上班给人感觉就是死死的、没有生命的，很感谢主我的，虽然也不会活到哪里去，但至少有在学新的东西。我越来越喜欢细菌了也，发现它们真的好厉害哦！它们能够做到我们人类做不到的事也，它们也可以拯救地球也！当然，它们也不人类还要麻烦。我们人啊，可能有些人对吃不是那么讲究，只要肚子饱就好。如果这句话你跟细菌讲，它们一定集体抗议--罢工=死掉！它们如果死掉，我也要跟着它们一起死了！哈哈！！！可爱吧！真的好想快点‘繁殖’我的这些‘下一代’也（虽然教授从几个月前就开始跟我讲说‘下个礼拜就开始’）。
已经有好多人跟我讲说我有多幸运能够找到这份工（虽然当中有同事会一直拼命泼冷水），刚开始的我真的是向钱看齐。我心里老早就垫了个底说：不管老板怎样骂你、同是怎样排挤你害你，为了钱，我死都要撑下去！现在，三个月就这样过去了。这三个月，我真的学到了一些书本上不可能出现的知识，简单的说--我学会了‘骗人’！以前的我常常讲说我很难相信人，出来上班了才发现我是多么的笨呀！我们家老板我真的超级佩服她，她可以把生的讲成死的，把死的讲成活的，而且重点是：她讲得跟真的一样！起初我还真得很相信，后来被我发现到‘里面有鬼’！从那天开始我就很痛苦，因为我开始犹豫，我不晓哪句我应该信，哪句我不应该信。而且啊，到了大学里面啊，就想说好不容易找到一个基督徒的朋友，结果回去公司被同事泼冷水，讲说有些话不能因为太熟所以讲太多，而且啊，那个教授啊，也是一只‘鬼’。
天啊！这个是什么世界啊！我应该怎样做？真的没有我可以相信的人吗？到底哪句我应该信，哪句我不应该听？好烦哦！不想了，看日剧！
已经有好多人跟我讲说我有多幸运能够找到这份工（虽然当中有同事会一直拼命泼冷水），刚开始的我真的是向钱看齐。我心里老早就垫了个底说：不管老板怎样骂你、同是怎样排挤你害你，为了钱，我死都要撑下去！现在，三个月就这样过去了。这三个月，我真的学到了一些书本上不可能出现的知识，简单的说--我学会了‘骗人’！以前的我常常讲说我很难相信人，出来上班了才发现我是多么的笨呀！我们家老板我真的超级佩服她，她可以把生的讲成死的，把死的讲成活的，而且重点是：她讲得跟真的一样！起初我还真得很相信，后来被我发现到‘里面有鬼’！从那天开始我就很痛苦，因为我开始犹豫，我不晓哪句我应该信，哪句我不应该信。而且啊，到了大学里面啊，就想说好不容易找到一个基督徒的朋友，结果回去公司被同事泼冷水，讲说有些话不能因为太熟所以讲太多，而且啊，那个教授啊，也是一只‘鬼’。
天啊！这个是什么世界啊！我应该怎样做？真的没有我可以相信的人吗？到底哪句我应该信，哪句我不应该听？好烦哦！不想了，看日剧！
星期六, 3月 21, 2009
メイちゃんの執事（我的帅管家）
刚刚又追完一部日剧了！我真的真的好久没有追日剧了，而且好久好久都没有一部剧能够给我那么深刻的印象了！以前的我呀，很容易入戏的，而且同样一部剧我可以重复看个一二十遍（可以问问以前和我同居的人）。这部剧我一定一定会重复看个一二十遍我才甘愿，单单结局我就看了三遍（目前为止）。
猜猜这是海报里的哪一个人？（看见这张照片我的心就溶了一半）
不晓得为什么我可以这么喜欢这一部日剧，当然里面的男生个个都长得超帅,女生个个超美的。其实我也不晓得为什么我这么喜欢这部剧也，看完了就觉得：我也好需要一个管家哦！其实这句话我已经不知道在我心里呐喊了几千遍了，因为我真的有很严重的选择性失忆症。常常不是这个忘记带，就是那个忘记带；常常很无理头的讲了一大堆没营养的话，在不知觉中伤害或得罪了人；常常自觉很聪明，但最笨的那个其实就是我。哈哈！没关系啦！我也看破咯！向我这种人啊，应该会和剧里的诗织小姐一样吧 -- 就是看起来很风光，但其实没人真正了解她。
哈哈！！！不写了，要继续看了！
猜猜这是海报里的哪一个人？（看见这张照片我的心就溶了一半）
不晓得为什么我可以这么喜欢这一部日剧，当然里面的男生个个都长得超帅,女生个个超美的。其实我也不晓得为什么我这么喜欢这部剧也，看完了就觉得：我也好需要一个管家哦！其实这句话我已经不知道在我心里呐喊了几千遍了，因为我真的有很严重的选择性失忆症。常常不是这个忘记带，就是那个忘记带；常常很无理头的讲了一大堆没营养的话，在不知觉中伤害或得罪了人；常常自觉很聪明，但最笨的那个其实就是我。哈哈！没关系啦！我也看破咯！向我这种人啊，应该会和剧里的诗织小姐一样吧 -- 就是看起来很风光，但其实没人真正了解她。
哈哈！！！不写了，要继续看了！
星期日, 3月 15, 2009
Home Alone!!!
It was school holiday again!!! I've been left home alone!!! With all parts of the house empty, my days had been more relax and enjoyable. Finally i could get rid of all those noises from the kids, struggling and wondering what i could help outside, force myself to be as busy as i can out there...
Just now, after a heavy downpour, i was sitting outside enjoying the dumpling which had been left over for me. Suddenly i realize that how i love the place, how fortunate for me to being here. The weather was superb, everything looks perfect in the dark. I was imagining the neighbours beside this house must had gone for work because i haven seen their car inside the house since this morning before i went out. And also, i started to stare at the house opposite, wondering what channel was they watching, because as for me, at this particular time i'm sure gonna watch ch317 for my favourite tv show!!!
My day had been so relax and enjoyable!!! Which is why i keep eating....HAHAHA!!! I had spent my whole afternoon watching the Oscar winning movie: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button!!! This was the first time i agreed with those Oscar judges for voting this movie. Though it was quite long (about 3 hours), there's still some point in there which now i was too deep into it and still feel a little bit sad about it. So now i need to find some tw show that can make me laugh. HAHAHA!!!
Just now, after a heavy downpour, i was sitting outside enjoying the dumpling which had been left over for me. Suddenly i realize that how i love the place, how fortunate for me to being here. The weather was superb, everything looks perfect in the dark. I was imagining the neighbours beside this house must had gone for work because i haven seen their car inside the house since this morning before i went out. And also, i started to stare at the house opposite, wondering what channel was they watching, because as for me, at this particular time i'm sure gonna watch ch317 for my favourite tv show!!!
My day had been so relax and enjoyable!!! Which is why i keep eating....HAHAHA!!! I had spent my whole afternoon watching the Oscar winning movie: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button!!! This was the first time i agreed with those Oscar judges for voting this movie. Though it was quite long (about 3 hours), there's still some point in there which now i was too deep into it and still feel a little bit sad about it. So now i need to find some tw show that can make me laugh. HAHAHA!!!
星期三, 3月 04, 2009
How to survive???
This was the question which i had been asking again and again. Until now i still cant find any answer that can be fitted into this question. Days had been getting tougher and tougher, life had been getting more complicated. I wonder how many times this had already been for me to blame myself to be stupid, naive and everything bad that i could think of. It's not that i want to, but...that's me!!! I had no idea how to change it!!! I have to admit that i'm not smart, i'm not clever, i'm not hardworking, i'm not good at anything, i'm not caring, i'm not good at talking, i'm not girl enough....i'm just good at nothing!!! I had been trying so hard to get at least smarter, trying to learn as much as i can but the results was still the same, i'm trying to act like it wasn't me but i just cant fake it!!!
23 years of my life, i had found nothing useful in me. Since the day i'm conscious, i had been questioning myself - why should i do this? Why should i do that? Since i'm not good at them, then why am i still doing it? It's just...there's just always something stuck inside my throat that i cant swallow or digest or take it out! If i do take it out, i'll have to face the consequences all by myself; if i digest and swallow it, i'll be blamed and keep hurting myself and suffer from the pain that only i could feel it.
It's very pathetic in the sense that, human beings like to listen to nice words while they isn't true; human beings like to see your reaction which is what they hope to see. Why cant we just hide all the true feelings? Or why is it so difficult to just shout out the true feelings? Though, i admit, true words are always hard to digest and sometimes will make me feel bad, but...that's the truth! Just give me some times to digest it, or maybe you just tell me directly what you expect me to do but not pretend that you're ok with everything then criticise me from the behind.
Today, i just heard too much of the truth which had been buried down under for ... God's know how long had it been. Though it makes me weap for a while, i still had to accept it. This is the life that Adam and Eve have left us. We'll have to suffer before we can see HIM in the heaven. All i can do now is, change my rational in order to survive now...throw away my pride, live as a cinderella...shut the vision on dreams that are unreachable...Can i do that??? Oh GOD....just let me had one minute to .... express it!!!
23 years of my life, i had found nothing useful in me. Since the day i'm conscious, i had been questioning myself - why should i do this? Why should i do that? Since i'm not good at them, then why am i still doing it? It's just...there's just always something stuck inside my throat that i cant swallow or digest or take it out! If i do take it out, i'll have to face the consequences all by myself; if i digest and swallow it, i'll be blamed and keep hurting myself and suffer from the pain that only i could feel it.
It's very pathetic in the sense that, human beings like to listen to nice words while they isn't true; human beings like to see your reaction which is what they hope to see. Why cant we just hide all the true feelings? Or why is it so difficult to just shout out the true feelings? Though, i admit, true words are always hard to digest and sometimes will make me feel bad, but...that's the truth! Just give me some times to digest it, or maybe you just tell me directly what you expect me to do but not pretend that you're ok with everything then criticise me from the behind.
Today, i just heard too much of the truth which had been buried down under for ... God's know how long had it been. Though it makes me weap for a while, i still had to accept it. This is the life that Adam and Eve have left us. We'll have to suffer before we can see HIM in the heaven. All i can do now is, change my rational in order to survive now...throw away my pride, live as a cinderella...shut the vision on dreams that are unreachable...Can i do that??? Oh GOD....just let me had one minute to .... express it!!!
星期日, 3月 01, 2009
兴奋...开心...期待！！！
昨夜被一个刚认识的朋友在msn敲了一下，为的就是要跟我说看见力宏演唱会的报道了！今天的报章应该登了好大一个版面了吧（本人没有买报子的习惯所以不了），但网路新闻是看到了！所以，今早崇拜完毕后，到麦当劳叫了一份我最爱的早餐后，就迫不及待的打电话通知我妈！我第一句还问她‘你有没有看到今天的报子？’我妈好好笑哦，她还以为有什么世界大新闻。结果听到我说是王力宏演唱会时就‘切！’了一声，她还说‘原来这个事你的大新闻啊！’靠！当然啦！这对我来说是天大的新闻也！等礼拜五我回去再和我妈洽谈详情，哈哈哈！我妈好象我的经纪人哦！现在的我就是整个超兴奋超high的！但，我只能选一样，就是说：我去看演唱会了，就不能去签唱会了！没关系，我忍！反正上一次我们都讲说看到有点没感觉了。所以，要往更‘高难度’挑战。哈哈哈！！！
今天的我，真的心情爆好的！女人就是有个死穴，心情好就会想逛街，心情不好也会想逛街；不管心情好还是不好，只要买到了喜欢或大减价的东西，心情再怎样不好也会立刻变好！今天的我，不只是因为逛街买了减价的东西而开心，主要还是因为我很快又要在见到力宏了！！！他最新大专辑：心跳，我已经当被功课一样听了上百甚至上千遍了！（我是说真的哦！一点都没有夸张哦！）哈哈！！！
反正我现在心情就是爆好的！连对我那些表弟都特别温柔的，哇哈哈哈！
今天的我，真的心情爆好的！女人就是有个死穴，心情好就会想逛街，心情不好也会想逛街；不管心情好还是不好，只要买到了喜欢或大减价的东西，心情再怎样不好也会立刻变好！今天的我，不只是因为逛街买了减价的东西而开心，主要还是因为我很快又要在见到力宏了！！！他最新大专辑：心跳，我已经当被功课一样听了上百甚至上千遍了！（我是说真的哦！一点都没有夸张哦！）哈哈！！！
反正我现在心情就是爆好的！连对我那些表弟都特别温柔的，哇哈哈哈！
星期二, 2月 24, 2009
心跳
‘心跳’是王力宏08年全新创作大蝶，当然只有王力宏能够把我心里冷冻已久的心跳再一次让它活跃起来。好久好久都没有这种感觉了！自从我一个人独自来都这个陌生的城市上班，一直到现在。原来，我还真是有这么大的能耐呀！
每当我看见力宏的访谈节目、生活录影带、音乐录影带、记者招待会... 一切的一切，就只为了向全世界宣传他的创作。看见他在录影室里不断的混音、不断的repeat他的杰作、不断的改、不断的 ... 这些就是他的坚持。看见他那积极的态度，坐在电脑面前欣赏着他那张10年不变的脸，自己开始问自己：我呢？我到底做了什么？我到底对什么事情曾经也像力宏一样这么的坚持呢？好像没有也，自己都觉得心虚起来。
我为什么会喜欢王力宏？这个问题，就好像：‘你为什么会爱上这个人？’是一样的。爱一个人是不需要任何理由的！不知不觉，我喜欢王力宏已经有11年了！不可思议吧！我才几岁的人啊，但事实就是如此。当然，无可否认，王力宏那张脸真的是比漫画人物帅！见到他本人时，我一定会重复地问我自己一个问题：我在做梦吗？怎么可能这世上可以有这么完美、这么帅的人存在啊？通常有亮丽外表的人一定给人一种只有外壳没有内涵的人，这种解说完全不能用在力宏身上。音乐人的专长就是把他们所有的思想都注射在音乐里面，王力宏就是这样。他的歌就像会跟你说话一样！就拿这账专辑来举例，80%的人一定都会说第一波主打歌‘心跳’超赞的！我不是说这首歌不好听，但我喜欢的是‘摇滚怎么了’。我也不是想喜欢一些特别的，但我就是喜欢力宏在这首歌里面所有的配乐。这张专辑我好喜欢力宏的吉他，不管是他的巴哈姆特、木吉他、string吉他 ... 我都喜欢！这张专辑，我大概重复听了，没有50遍也有49遍！越听就会越明白力宏想表达的是什么。
所以，我会不惜任何的代价，出席他的演唱会！爸爸妈妈，让我去！！！拜托！！！
每当我看见力宏的访谈节目、生活录影带、音乐录影带、记者招待会... 一切的一切，就只为了向全世界宣传他的创作。看见他在录影室里不断的混音、不断的repeat他的杰作、不断的改、不断的 ... 这些就是他的坚持。看见他那积极的态度，坐在电脑面前欣赏着他那张10年不变的脸，自己开始问自己：我呢？我到底做了什么？我到底对什么事情曾经也像力宏一样这么的坚持呢？好像没有也，自己都觉得心虚起来。
我为什么会喜欢王力宏？这个问题，就好像：‘你为什么会爱上这个人？’是一样的。爱一个人是不需要任何理由的！不知不觉，我喜欢王力宏已经有11年了！不可思议吧！我才几岁的人啊，但事实就是如此。当然，无可否认，王力宏那张脸真的是比漫画人物帅！见到他本人时，我一定会重复地问我自己一个问题：我在做梦吗？怎么可能这世上可以有这么完美、这么帅的人存在啊？通常有亮丽外表的人一定给人一种只有外壳没有内涵的人，这种解说完全不能用在力宏身上。音乐人的专长就是把他们所有的思想都注射在音乐里面，王力宏就是这样。他的歌就像会跟你说话一样！就拿这账专辑来举例，80%的人一定都会说第一波主打歌‘心跳’超赞的！我不是说这首歌不好听，但我喜欢的是‘摇滚怎么了’。我也不是想喜欢一些特别的，但我就是喜欢力宏在这首歌里面所有的配乐。这张专辑我好喜欢力宏的吉他，不管是他的巴哈姆特、木吉他、string吉他 ... 我都喜欢！这张专辑，我大概重复听了，没有50遍也有49遍！越听就会越明白力宏想表达的是什么。
所以，我会不惜任何的代价，出席他的演唱会！爸爸妈妈，让我去！！！拜托！！！
星期二, 2月 17, 2009
SALESPERSON + INSURANCE PPL = LIER
Ever since i knew what salespersons are and what insurance are, i started to dislike and ignore this type of people. Now that i had been working and it is one of my job to deal with these people, somemore my job is graded as 'high risk' which means that i had the potential to get an accident while doing my job.
In my point of view, salesperson are trained to tell lied. Though minority of their information are facts, majority of the statement given by them are not the truth. As for those insurance representatives, once they came in to introduce their 'superb' plan, i'll start questioning inside my heart - You sounds like you are cursing me to get any accident or illness then only i can enjoy all the benefits. Or i put it in a more simple way - You Want Me to get into an accident or going to see our Father God asap just for the benefits?!?! Do i sounds ridiculous??? That's what i personally feel about what those people are trying to tell me!!! (Sorry if i've offended anyone's or anyone's relative or parents)
The Bible tells us not to tell lies, but see what am i doing here??? Because of all these people, i been forced to tell lies just to protect myself. OH MY... GOD please forgive me about that, i knew YOU would understand all these.
In my point of view, salesperson are trained to tell lied. Though minority of their information are facts, majority of the statement given by them are not the truth. As for those insurance representatives, once they came in to introduce their 'superb' plan, i'll start questioning inside my heart - You sounds like you are cursing me to get any accident or illness then only i can enjoy all the benefits. Or i put it in a more simple way - You Want Me to get into an accident or going to see our Father God asap just for the benefits?!?! Do i sounds ridiculous??? That's what i personally feel about what those people are trying to tell me!!! (Sorry if i've offended anyone's or anyone's relative or parents)
The Bible tells us not to tell lies, but see what am i doing here??? Because of all these people, i been forced to tell lies just to protect myself. OH MY... GOD please forgive me about that, i knew YOU would understand all these.
星期五, 2月 06, 2009
感情永远的阴天
昨晚看了珠光宝气，看见Constance和Terence最后还是离婚收场。虽然这部剧我只追到一半，不晓得为什么看见这一对还是离婚收场，就觉得好灰哦（我是指感情的部分）！这个Terence好胜心是很强，但他有一个很重要的因素令到他失败的，就是他的骄傲。他总觉得钱是可以解决一切的问题的，而没想到就因为他这样而伤害了他最爱的女人。咳。。。
说真的，Terence在剧里的领导能力其它什么都好，唯独骄傲这一点害了他。在我们穷人的观念里面，有钱人一定是‘大噻’‘唛都得’。是！有钱是‘大噻’，但有钱人还是人啊！你过的日子还不是和我们穷人过的一样，奇怪！当然，也有少数（是极度少数）的有钱人不是像这部剧里的有钱人一样，他们不会有身段、不会有骄傲、很谦虚、很慷慨（不是表面的而是出于真心的）。像我们家就很幸运会遇到这样的有钱人。
这部剧其实会让我追下去当然是因为陈豪啦！一开始当然就觉得‘哇，他好骄傲哦！’当然啦，人家有本钱骄傲啊！然后开始慢慢入戏，慢慢发现他的好，但是到现在就会开始对他灰心。我还曾经入戏到跟天父祷告说：希望我以后的另一半像Terence这样-你但有他的长相，还要有他的才华、办事能力等等。现在的我，突然觉得有点后悔当初我这么冲动就做了这样的祷告，但我相信我们的天父知道什么最适合我这种脾气不好、对人缺乏安全感、孤闭的女人。如果天父安排一个像Terence一样的男人做我总生伴侣的话，我一定顺服，因为我相信神有他的旨意在里面。
2009年生肖运势说我们属虎的人今年会谈恋爱，说真的我还蛮期待的也。一直以来觉得好像就是他了，但每当我接到他的的电话（虽然只有两次），和他聊了一小时完全没有重点的对话；满心期待的我隔这么久、这么难得跟他见面，他却给我那种‘我是被逼的’那种感觉出来…...这些种种种种的小细节，或许没人知道，但我就是有一点职业病的，我们这一行所有小小细细的东西都必须要观察到，对人也是一样。农历新年过了，也让我有新的思想。谈恋爱这种东西，我是100%期待，但是我一定会增大眼睛看清楚对方是个怎样的人，才决定是不是我可以托付终身的那一位。当然，这一切没有主的帮助是不可能的。
说真的，Terence在剧里的领导能力其它什么都好，唯独骄傲这一点害了他。在我们穷人的观念里面，有钱人一定是‘大噻’‘唛都得’。是！有钱是‘大噻’，但有钱人还是人啊！你过的日子还不是和我们穷人过的一样，奇怪！当然，也有少数（是极度少数）的有钱人不是像这部剧里的有钱人一样，他们不会有身段、不会有骄傲、很谦虚、很慷慨（不是表面的而是出于真心的）。像我们家就很幸运会遇到这样的有钱人。
这部剧其实会让我追下去当然是因为陈豪啦！一开始当然就觉得‘哇，他好骄傲哦！’当然啦，人家有本钱骄傲啊！然后开始慢慢入戏，慢慢发现他的好，但是到现在就会开始对他灰心。我还曾经入戏到跟天父祷告说：希望我以后的另一半像Terence这样-你但有他的长相，还要有他的才华、办事能力等等。现在的我，突然觉得有点后悔当初我这么冲动就做了这样的祷告，但我相信我们的天父知道什么最适合我这种脾气不好、对人缺乏安全感、孤闭的女人。如果天父安排一个像Terence一样的男人做我总生伴侣的话，我一定顺服，因为我相信神有他的旨意在里面。
2009年生肖运势说我们属虎的人今年会谈恋爱，说真的我还蛮期待的也。一直以来觉得好像就是他了，但每当我接到他的的电话（虽然只有两次），和他聊了一小时完全没有重点的对话；满心期待的我隔这么久、这么难得跟他见面，他却给我那种‘我是被逼的’那种感觉出来…...这些种种种种的小细节，或许没人知道，但我就是有一点职业病的，我们这一行所有小小细细的东西都必须要观察到，对人也是一样。农历新年过了，也让我有新的思想。谈恋爱这种东西，我是100%期待，但是我一定会增大眼睛看清楚对方是个怎样的人，才决定是不是我可以托付终身的那一位。当然，这一切没有主的帮助是不可能的。
星期六, 1月 31, 2009
男人女人
我们女人的往往会觉得10个男人里面9个都是爱面子的，而在男人的眼中女人往往都是小气爱撒娇的。到底谁对谁错呢？只有我们的创造者知道。
我是女人，所以也只能发表我个人-也就是女人的意见。一般来说，女人一定是比较难从情伤恢复的那个。但在我23年的生涯里面，我就遇到两个男人是花了好一段时间从情伤恢复，甚至是被伤得比女人还重的那种。这两个男人，一个跟我有很浓的血缘关系，另一个是曾经和我同住一个屋檐下的（不要乱想！！！我不是甩他的那个）。其实我没有很了解他们，但这两个人还真的是蛮令我对他们刮目相看的。在我的观念里面，男生一定不会为情所困，甚至不会被情所伤。这两个男生，不只为情所困，还被情所伤而且还是伤得很重的那种。这种现象我还以为只有女人才会有，原来这世上还有这种好男人啊！！！这两个男生，我真的很替他们可惜。虽然，无可否认，这两个男人唯一的共同点就是--他们的脾气都一样坏。我们女生应该最不能容忍的就是自己爱的男人脾气这么差的吧！或许谈恋爱的时候不会对你显现出他们真正的那一面，但事实是不能改变的。脾气不好就是脾气不好，DNA就是DNA，除非你想办法让他们的DNA mutate吧！不可能嘛！
不知道为什么，在这佳节期间遇到这种男人，突然感触良多。突然觉得，现在的世界好像女人比较挑也。应该是说，现在这个社会太败坏了，导致每个人都很自然的有自我保护的心态。现在你要我像以前一样敞开心胸和身边的人做朋友，我一定会跟你说：干嘛？？？但我从小到大就是这种人，我这种可以简称－孤庇，好听一点就是－自闭。和我认识就的人如果好一段时间没见到我一定会认为我变了，但其实我只是在默默的观察看这么久不见的你还是不是我从前认识的那个。
现在的我很用力的提醒我自己，如果要进入一段感情一定要想情楚。一旦我进入一段感情，我希望是永久的。我的心脏应该受不了那种分手的刺激吧！老实说，我幼小的心灵还真的是有情伤的伤疤也。哈哈～～～
我是女人，所以也只能发表我个人-也就是女人的意见。一般来说，女人一定是比较难从情伤恢复的那个。但在我23年的生涯里面，我就遇到两个男人是花了好一段时间从情伤恢复，甚至是被伤得比女人还重的那种。这两个男人，一个跟我有很浓的血缘关系，另一个是曾经和我同住一个屋檐下的（不要乱想！！！我不是甩他的那个）。其实我没有很了解他们，但这两个人还真的是蛮令我对他们刮目相看的。在我的观念里面，男生一定不会为情所困，甚至不会被情所伤。这两个男生，不只为情所困，还被情所伤而且还是伤得很重的那种。这种现象我还以为只有女人才会有，原来这世上还有这种好男人啊！！！这两个男生，我真的很替他们可惜。虽然，无可否认，这两个男人唯一的共同点就是--他们的脾气都一样坏。我们女生应该最不能容忍的就是自己爱的男人脾气这么差的吧！或许谈恋爱的时候不会对你显现出他们真正的那一面，但事实是不能改变的。脾气不好就是脾气不好，DNA就是DNA，除非你想办法让他们的DNA mutate吧！不可能嘛！
不知道为什么，在这佳节期间遇到这种男人，突然感触良多。突然觉得，现在的世界好像女人比较挑也。应该是说，现在这个社会太败坏了，导致每个人都很自然的有自我保护的心态。现在你要我像以前一样敞开心胸和身边的人做朋友，我一定会跟你说：干嘛？？？但我从小到大就是这种人，我这种可以简称－孤庇，好听一点就是－自闭。和我认识就的人如果好一段时间没见到我一定会认为我变了，但其实我只是在默默的观察看这么久不见的你还是不是我从前认识的那个。
现在的我很用力的提醒我自己，如果要进入一段感情一定要想情楚。一旦我进入一段感情，我希望是永久的。我的心脏应该受不了那种分手的刺激吧！老实说，我幼小的心灵还真的是有情伤的伤疤也。哈哈～～～
星期一, 1月 19, 2009
What's going on???
What is going on with this earth??? What is going on with my family??? What is going on with the air??? What is going on with all the virus??? Are they mutated??? Are they genetically modified??? Are they the leftover of the aliens so that they can attack human and prtect the earth??? What is that exactly going on???
Someone please answer me!!! I believe that even GOD don't have the answer to that. I'm not cursing anyone or blaming anyone (or GOD) for what's happening with all of my beloved ones around me, i'm just....loosing direction. I feel useless... I had no idea what i can do in this far far away land. I so regret that i take this job that i need to leave home forever....I so regret that I leave the home behind without anyone cleaning it and that's the main problem that what is happening now. I feel like wanted to take the flight back now to make my home stay at least free of any bacteria or viruses or fungi or anything that i cant see with my eyes....Just for at least a week....This is the first time ever in my life that i feel begging with those creatures that i couldn't see with my naked eyes, i feel wanted to shout to them, telling them leave all my family alone. Just stop attacking them like the Palestinean. I'd rather all of you just came to me. Please....
Please....anyone....anything....just give me some guidance....GOD!!! I know i shouldn't be shouting at you while i had already standing at the end of the cliff, but i just loosing my direction. I had no idea what i could do now. Everything is beyond humans power, everything is onto you now my Lord. Please....this will be my last shout to You....Please....show me the way....tell me what should i do....guide me.....You are the light of my foot, the light of my pathway....Please....
Someone please answer me!!! I believe that even GOD don't have the answer to that. I'm not cursing anyone or blaming anyone (or GOD) for what's happening with all of my beloved ones around me, i'm just....loosing direction. I feel useless... I had no idea what i can do in this far far away land. I so regret that i take this job that i need to leave home forever....I so regret that I leave the home behind without anyone cleaning it and that's the main problem that what is happening now. I feel like wanted to take the flight back now to make my home stay at least free of any bacteria or viruses or fungi or anything that i cant see with my eyes....Just for at least a week....This is the first time ever in my life that i feel begging with those creatures that i couldn't see with my naked eyes, i feel wanted to shout to them, telling them leave all my family alone. Just stop attacking them like the Palestinean. I'd rather all of you just came to me. Please....
Please....anyone....anything....just give me some guidance....GOD!!! I know i shouldn't be shouting at you while i had already standing at the end of the cliff, but i just loosing my direction. I had no idea what i could do now. Everything is beyond humans power, everything is onto you now my Lord. Please....this will be my last shout to You....Please....show me the way....tell me what should i do....guide me.....You are the light of my foot, the light of my pathway....Please....
星期日, 1月 18, 2009
Leave Me Alone!!!
至从那天在商场遇到我认识的人后，这样的时间陆陆续续的出现。今天，就和平时一样，到教堂去报到。怎知，这个古晋说大还真是不大，说它小又不对，偏偏我就是会遇见我认识的人。在这里能够遇见我认识的人，那个percentage真的是少之又少。我遇到的这个人，虽然她是很好的一个人，我就是不能把她列入‘朋友’的名单里面。我曾经很懊恼为什么我会这样，其实就只有一个原因：水和火是永远不能溶合在一起的。不是说我和她有什么深仇大恨，又或则是她曾经得罪我或我做了亏欠她的事，我和她就是那种怎样都不可能变成朋友的人。我们俩只会见到面嘘寒问暖几句然后就走人的那种。不晓得多久之前我曾经和一个知己分享过这件事，在和她分享的当儿我才发现问题的存在。原来，一直以来我和这个人不能变朋友（就是那种聊得来的）的原因，其实很简单。因为这个人是个超级世界无敌的Top Student。不只是读书厉害，她所作的每件事出来的结果都是完美的，人际关系更是超级世界无敌的广。要我跟这种人打交道简直就是要了我的命一样，因为我是个自卑的人。在这种人的面前我很难会台得起头，在这种人的身边我只会拚了命的缩进我的壳。我会觉得，站在这种人的身边全世界肯定会拿我跟她来比较一样。
咳。。。没用的我呀！今天主日崇拜一完，我就还赶什么一样，立刻走人。虽然我知道，我不可能可以躲一世，但至少让我准备好自己，让我的心思意念都成熟时再打算。
咳。。。没用的我呀！今天主日崇拜一完，我就还赶什么一样，立刻走人。虽然我知道，我不可能可以躲一世，但至少让我准备好自己，让我的心思意念都成熟时再打算。
星期五, 1月 16, 2009
The Happiest Day since....
These two day, my boss went for travelling. This means that the environment in the office will change from 'library' to a normal office. Since yesterday i was playing around whole day with the staff, online chatting, playing internet games....i just do whatever it was illegal to be done in the office when our boss was in. This two days, i personally thinks that the staff in the office gets along so well. We get to know each other more than before (at least for the last one month since the first day i put my steps in it).
Today, while we were having some talks on the outfit, one of the staff suggested that we could go for shopping together after work. Me, which do not had anything going on after work, agreed without any hesitation. Even today, i finish up my Prison Break marathon in the office. CAN YOU BELIEvE that!!! But anyway, i've already reach the last episode, so i'm just finish up the last episode there in the office. WOW!!! What a great day i had!!! I got paid even i did watch Prison Break! How good is that!!! Somemore i help one of the staff to mark her student work book which i joke around said that i'm willing to help her do that work if she jus pay me RM10 for just helping her to mark one whole pile of the workbook of her students and she was just so funny that she agreed. But i think she might just be kidding. But, i don't mind if she pay me for that, that one of the work which i wont even need to use my brain. I just need to move my finger a bit and than i got the money!!! How great was that!!!! And she even suggested me that i could take up the part time job as the teacher in her sch as well. This one i'm still thinking whether to do it or not coz the job is every satuday afternoon and i've buy my ticket back home every month. So....
Well, actually, what i wanted to say here is... It had been long since the last day i laugh out loud. It was these two days that i ever had the chance to laugh out loud since the day i came here for my job. I just feel....GREAT!!! Though i'm kindda sad that i get such a low pay for my job, but i thank GOD for letting me to have all the superb staff that money cant buy....Thank GOD that though i had a not so perfect boss, I had a very perfect and caring head who is a superb guy and willing to guide me through everythin....Thank GOD that i got this job which i could see that i'll be able to learn a lot from the project which will be started next month....
All this just not happen as coincidence. But GOD who answered my prayer.
I love you GOD more than any living things on this earth!!!
Today, while we were having some talks on the outfit, one of the staff suggested that we could go for shopping together after work. Me, which do not had anything going on after work, agreed without any hesitation. Even today, i finish up my Prison Break marathon in the office. CAN YOU BELIEvE that!!! But anyway, i've already reach the last episode, so i'm just finish up the last episode there in the office. WOW!!! What a great day i had!!! I got paid even i did watch Prison Break! How good is that!!! Somemore i help one of the staff to mark her student work book which i joke around said that i'm willing to help her do that work if she jus pay me RM10 for just helping her to mark one whole pile of the workbook of her students and she was just so funny that she agreed. But i think she might just be kidding. But, i don't mind if she pay me for that, that one of the work which i wont even need to use my brain. I just need to move my finger a bit and than i got the money!!! How great was that!!!! And she even suggested me that i could take up the part time job as the teacher in her sch as well. This one i'm still thinking whether to do it or not coz the job is every satuday afternoon and i've buy my ticket back home every month. So....
Well, actually, what i wanted to say here is... It had been long since the last day i laugh out loud. It was these two days that i ever had the chance to laugh out loud since the day i came here for my job. I just feel....GREAT!!! Though i'm kindda sad that i get such a low pay for my job, but i thank GOD for letting me to have all the superb staff that money cant buy....Thank GOD that though i had a not so perfect boss, I had a very perfect and caring head who is a superb guy and willing to guide me through everythin....Thank GOD that i got this job which i could see that i'll be able to learn a lot from the project which will be started next month....
All this just not happen as coincidence. But GOD who answered my prayer.
I love you GOD more than any living things on this earth!!!
星期一, 1月 05, 2009
Year 2009
Happy Year 2009!!! Hahaha... I'm wondering how are everyone that i know spend the last minutes of 2008. As for me, my only partner of my life -NEC is taking me through the times. To be honest, on the 1st day of 2009, once i open my eyes in the morning, i was kindda like stare at all the things around me to make sure everything was still on their exact place. I was like pulling up my ears to listen carefully for any unfamiliar sounds out there. All this stupidness of me end up to discover nothing but laughing to myself. Please forgive me for all the stupid things i had said just now. This was because recently i was watching too much of the movie about the earth which will going to be destroyed or the intrusion of the aliens to our planet or the love story between the vampire and human which is kindda impossible. OH MY....What happen to me??? I think i could be diagnose as hyper-movie-into-madness. WAHAHAHA...What kind of illness is that.
But anyway, for year 2009 i should be having some kind of new target (which is kindda like a trend of something). I think my current target now is to earn for a living, earn for my future, earn for HIM. No matter how hard it is, i'm gonna bite my lips and tongue or wherever that i can bite. Maybe sometimes life is not as easy as what i've expected, life might be tougher than i've expected....i knew that there's only one person that will stand still, always in the stanby mode whenever i need HIM. With the small faith that i had, i believe that nothing is going to be impossible. I'm so impressed with CS. Lewis recently, he was a good author. He makes me realized how sinful we are but there's always HOPE out there. Thank GOD for that. Another target of mine is to stay in good shape. I knew that my body was currently out of shape, and i think it seems to be getting worst if my situation continues to be like this. But, i had no idea how am i going to keep that. I had no faith with myself. All i can do is buy a tighter belt, keep to my normal meal, try to have less coffee....
Life out of my hometown is so different from the one that i used to had in my own home. I'm still adapting to it, though i'm doing quite well on it. But still, there's some human part of me which i cant cope. I just need some more times, for time being there will be someone that had the key to unlock the chain of my heart. Just hang in there....Don't gived up!!! You're LOved!!!
But anyway, for year 2009 i should be having some kind of new target (which is kindda like a trend of something). I think my current target now is to earn for a living, earn for my future, earn for HIM. No matter how hard it is, i'm gonna bite my lips and tongue or wherever that i can bite. Maybe sometimes life is not as easy as what i've expected, life might be tougher than i've expected....i knew that there's only one person that will stand still, always in the stanby mode whenever i need HIM. With the small faith that i had, i believe that nothing is going to be impossible. I'm so impressed with CS. Lewis recently, he was a good author. He makes me realized how sinful we are but there's always HOPE out there. Thank GOD for that. Another target of mine is to stay in good shape. I knew that my body was currently out of shape, and i think it seems to be getting worst if my situation continues to be like this. But, i had no idea how am i going to keep that. I had no faith with myself. All i can do is buy a tighter belt, keep to my normal meal, try to have less coffee....
Life out of my hometown is so different from the one that i used to had in my own home. I'm still adapting to it, though i'm doing quite well on it. But still, there's some human part of me which i cant cope. I just need some more times, for time being there will be someone that had the key to unlock the chain of my heart. Just hang in there....Don't gived up!!! You're LOved!!!
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)