Pack everyday....

my life here is still pack everyday....everyday pack with a lot of things to do....a lot of assignment....a lot of reports....a lot of test....a lot of.....problems as well....but Thank GOD sooo much that whenever i'm having trouble, HE is always by my side....HE is always the one who was there to help me....HE was the only one who listen to my grumbling....HE is the only one who tolerate with my childishness....GOD.....THANK YOU.....All the glories be to you.....

let me update a little bout myself....well, i'm still alive!!!but was 'break down'....i got flu....it's been a long time that i din get into sick....and finally, i'm sick!!!....wahaha.....wat am i talking about....ppl will die of sick but i'm happy with sick....hehehe....sometimes i feel that, when someone get into sick, he/she will have more attention on them.....so....does that means that i have more attention on myself as well????wahahah.....no la....u thought me that fortunate meh!!!i'm what they call "ku ming ren"....only if i die then i'll get the attention....hehehe....but then what for o, have so many attention on yourself???then you'll b lack of private time rite????hai....dun understand....

although i'm pack with assignments and reports, but i'm still ok...i mean mentally!!!i feel like i'm getting myself back....maybe because there are some problem that i have solve...it release all my burden....so....heheheh

I'm shelfish

well....sometimes i don't know how others think....i always act watever i feel to....i don't think before act.....n now cause others to suffer....i'm stupid and shelfish....

i don't want to get involve in all these things.....i wanna quit everything....back to myself....back to where i'm suppose to be...back to......

i'm tired.....

Safely back from the Jungle!!!

Thank GOD for listening to my prayer....Thank GOD for taking care and leading me when i was in the field trip....the trip was fortunately not as bad as i've expected earlier.....but....it's physically exhausting....we're all in the mangrove....every1 are muddy, their leg was trapped in the mud where need to pull it out....and there's millions of mosquito inside the jungle....those mosquitoes are all.....mutated one ler...they don't really afraid for the mosquito repellent....somemore.....they place that it "park" was still iching after three days.....damn scary....i soooooo scare of being bite by mosquito....but then....this is the first time for me to experience leeches....i've got one in my shoes when i was out from the jungle....and of coz it was sucking my blood....when i take it off from my leg, the place where the leech "rest" was bleeding like hell.....the blood will only stop after 2 hours....walao....it's.....supreme....no words can used to describe....

but then....when i was trap in the mud....i thought of a lot of things.....a lot of things that i suddenly realise.....whenever we're trap in a tough situation, the only people that can help us is only ourself....although others can give us a hand....but we still need to help ourself to reach the hand....and....i've think of a lot of things....

FIELD TRIP FEAR

it's been a totally nightmare for me to take Ecology as my elective subject....we all must go to the field trip...where we have to get into the jungle to get the samples of the plants....or to see the species of the plant...it's getting into the jungle ler....well...i'm not that....GIRL....that i dun want to get myself dirty or what....but the point is....there's no one that i know in the trip....it's been a totally new school and new environment for me....the life here is always busy with assignment, reports and test....i don't even have time to know anyone from my class.....i'll be totally lonely in the trip....but then Thank GOD that there's 1 or 2 ppl that i know(not that fren)....they are my churchmate....but then....i still feel lonely.....

i feel sooooooo regret since the day that i choose Ecology as my elective subject....if i know there's whole lot's of this trip, i definitely wont choose this subject.....i soooooo regret that i din listen to that person who tells me not to take Ecology....although he suggest me to take business statistic....(it's business subject....where i don't like)....but now i'm totally regret....if i mumble all these things with him, he'll definitely scold me instead of comforting me.....coz it's all my fault and my stupidness......i would rather die in front of assignment, reports or test....than going to the trip with no one i know....that's horrible.....but....what can i do now????there's no way of turning back....but to try my best.....May God leads my way.....

TIRED.....and....STRESS

it's a really tought life here in Monash University....there are a lot of things to be done.....a lot of works o do....a lot of tests....everything is stress.....i feel like quitting everything....just get back to my hometown...to live for a simple life....everyday stress and tired like this....not only mentally but physically as well....how long can i stand!!!!

May GOD help me.....

Importance of Sleeping

well.....sleep is really important lerr...normally we'll have to sleep for about 8 hours a days....but then sometimes we'd rather cut out the sleeping time to do other things such as for our homework or work or even have fun....as for me....i need to sleep for about 10-12 hours a days....of coz this include my afternoon nap....if i sleep lesser than that, i'll feel like there's something that i haven complete for that whole day....

like last week....i do not have enough sleep for a few days....then on the Monday, i was pluggin my thumbdriv to the computer and get ready to do my online assignment....then i don't know why i click 'delete' for the whole folder of the subject that i have to pass up.....then when the computer was deleting the content of the thumbdriv...i suddenly like....wake up....then....i cancel the delete....thank GOD that the assignment that i safe haven been deleted yet....wow....scares me till die ler....then only i knew that i do not have enought sleep than i'm kindda like the nervous system in my brand had malfunction....huh....scary.....

that's y i like to sleep....of coz that's the fastest was of passing the time....but then...it's benefit to our health as well....so please....don't feel that sleeping is not important....the problem that i had is kindda minor....i cant imagine for the more serious situation happening.....

LEEHOM I....LOVE....YOU!!!!!

wahaha.....that heading will make u feel that i'm crazy rite????well.....if u think i'm crazy then i am.....but then.....i also don't know why i sooooo like him.......just last week i went to his autograph session in sunway lagoon surf beach.....it was raining real heavily u know....but then.....the rain.....stop.....by the time LEEHOM presence on the stage......i think LEEHOM must have pray for his journey.....i sooooo like him.....he's....superb.....Thank GOD for creating Leehom that he become others model of life.....

let me show u some pic of his autograph session throughout malaysia....

handsome lerr.....that's my LEEHOM....

i cant tell why i like or LOVE LEEHOM sooo much....whenever i'm depressed, sad or alone....i'll look at all his pic, cd or mtv and stuff like that....then i'll feel much better.....i just don't know why....therefore, i can understand that girl who lost her memory but only remember LEEHOM....if i'm that girl, i'll remember LEEHOM as well.....

I'm depressed

i feel sooo sooo depress today...i just don't know why....maybe because i did not have enough sleep and maybe because there are a lot of things happen on me these few days....make me feels fussy and depressed.....so...i'm kindda like....easy to get hurt if people just mention something that make me feel very sensitive and sad.....but then it's mostly because of my stupidness....i always thought that i'm stupid....however...in the reality...i'm a fool....which is more serious than stupid....i just feel sad....all i want to do now is to sleep....sleep and sleep.....i'll kill anyone who wake me up.....wanna go back home.....in bintulu.....i won't be able to go back this april which i had a semester break....coz my grandma them wanna over here and play....shopping....it's kindda great also...but then....i just wanna skip all my life here for a while and get back to the life that i used to have in Bintulu.....i sooo miss Bintulu......i wont have all the things to think of....i wont have all the stupid people of stupid thingy to see and buy....i wont have some people that i don't wanna see.....i......just.....depressed....

Long time no c....

YOYO....it's been a long time since my last post....well...it's because that i'm too lazy for that....everytime i log in to blogspot i don't feel like posting a blog....coz sometimes it makes me feel that i do not have any privacy if i post every of my opinion here....maybe there's something that i don't want to share....you can say i'm shelfish or whatever you wanna say about me...i just feel that sometimes not all things have to tell.....i sooooo prefer to keep everything deep down inside my heart....and let time help me to digest it.....however, if it's a happy thing i wont mind to share...of coz....

well....my uni life has started....and...i sometimes feel that i'm back to SAM....coz everyweek there'll have reports to complete....everyweek will have homework to do...everyweek will have different things to do....presentations and stuff like that....it's sooo much like the life i had in SAM.....but it's just in a different place....which i still cant get use to....let time help me....

well...the one that i loved soooo much will be coming on this sunday....i cant wait to meet him......i can see him once a year only.....know who i'm talking about????that's my dear leehom!!!!!wahahaha....last week i even go to sg wang n queue to change for the free admission ticket to the autograph session....hahhhaah......

Uncivilize place

As usual i take the bus to school today....by the time i walk up to the bus, i heard the bus driver quarrel with the indian taxi guy outside his car because the bus had block the taxi driver's way.....and of course the bus driver was soooo mad and keep on yelling all the real HARSH word....hai....what's that for lerr.....well this was normal....and then by the time the bus was driving, there was one motorist used his hand to bang on the bus....then we in the bus can heard a real loud bang which made us thought that the bus hit something....but then it was another indian guy who wanna quarrel with the taxi driver again....i think it might probably is because the bus driver overtake the motorist or stuff like that....but THANK GOD the bus driver don't stop the bus and quarrel with that motorist...if not...i cant imagine the situation that will happen....that's....REDDICULOUS!!!!

Well, there's a lot of these kind of things happen all around Malaysia...sometimes i just cant understand why these people like to quarrel that much....it's because of FACE????or is it because there's someone put harsh word on you then you must give him/her a harsh word back???i just cant understand!!!!

Why just Malaysian cant be more civilize???Like those Singaporean.....they are sooo kind and sooo polite....at least they don't quarrel on the street like that....the different people with different culture there live together without any quarrel.....why there's always these thingy happen in malaysia????i just couldn't understand....

Shouldn't comment much on these....but....just feel disappointed with the people outside there....but of course there are real nice person out there as well....it's just we always see the bad one....

How i wish i'm in Taylors College....

It's been my last day of my orientation week which i'm not supposed to be at sch.....but then....i'm in computer lab now.....it's all because of my stupidness.....the system here in this school are all online....which mean i've to choose all the subjects and electives that i wanna take....all of these things are done online....and....it sounds sooooo high tech and very convenient for us rite....well....by the time u click into the webpage....there's thousands of different things in there....and....my point is.....i don't understand a word in the page that we are supposed to be....and i cant find the place where we should chooose all our units and stuff like that.....stupid la.....i mean....me...i'm the one who stupid...yesterday the dunno who standing up there briefing about how to do all the things...and i was seriously concentrating to what he says ler (which i normally will be sleeping down there)....but then....when he ask for the hands who haven done all the things...there's only my hand in the air!!!!(actually still got a few more person la)SEE....how stupid i am....this probably because i'm in a new school....everything is new here....their system....the environment...the people....everything new....I HATE THAT!!!!That's what i hate about being into a new environment....all the things have start from the beginning again....and....social life in the school campus....this is the most horrible things....hai.....somemore i got a whole lot more things to settle down here....fussy everyday....i dont feel like i'm making the right choice to get into this schoool.....but....due to my current financial problem...what can i do????everything i have to swallow into my stomach....let my multi-purpose stomach to digest it.....

Life in Bintulu (my hometown) is much more simpler.....everything is simple...all i have to worry is that did Jocelyn feel well today????Did she drink her milk???Did she sleep well???and....fill my empty stomach when there's drumming sound inside....that's all.....and...and.....go to church....i feel like sitting in the empty church right now....to calm every part of me in front of the cross....to confess all my sin.....to pray.....just probably stare at the cross for a minute will make me feel joyful....i'm lost everyday and everywhere.....i don't dare to tell my mum all about these....i scared that she'll start to worry for me since she got a lot of things to worry at home....and i don't feel like talking to anyone else these days....but.....cant.....everything have to be swallowed down....if not.....ppl will think that i don't like to be here or other bad things that they are going to say about me which i dont wished to mention it here.....

My Dear Father God, i'm soooo thankful that You leaded my path....no matter where am i, i know that You are always there by my side....whenever i cry, You'll be the only one who can comfort me.....Thankyou GOD for always being my spiritual advisor.....Thankyou God for everything that You have done to me....Please....again....help me!!!Tell me what i should do now....In Jesus Name I Pray....AMEN

A post created in Monash University

yoyo....i'm in Monash lerr....hahaha....cant believe that i'm in here....finally....after all the prayers, worries, frustration and a lot of things....i've finally in Monash University....well....it's a new environment for me....so....i've to search for the place i wanna go everytime...and i'm always lost....hahaha...well this year don't have Yee Man with me...so i've to find everything out myself...like last time she'll tell ma whatever happen the next day and whatever things that i have to do and wherever the class is....now....there's no one i know who take the same course same semester with me....all i see are new faces....hey guys....Monash got a lot of leng lui ler....serious o!!!!at least i think they are kindda pretty la....

this week is my orientation week....so....everyday will be start with a briefing....introduction of the campus and stuff like that....today is the second day of orientation.....and i'm now in computer lab......ie i din go for the orientation today.....but i was WARN by my frens housemate to attend the english test tomorrow and also the briefing on the day after tomorrow.....hai.....what a boring uni life without people i know....but then i feel sooo much pleasure and joyful to get into this uni...coz this is the uni that i've wanted to get in.....and finally i'm holding my ID with me!!!wahahaha...thank God for that....

my days here in sunway are still normal....nothing much change.....except that i've change a new environment....a new place to stay....i rent a room from my church fren here...so...at least i got housemate that i've known....the only thing is that i have to buy the mattress and the furniture....so i'll going to buy that later.....there's of coz something i kindda worry.....i heard a lot of ppl (from my church frens) say that a lot of frens whom we see very close together.....are separated....once they live together....i know a lot of this things....but.....what can i do????just mine my own business....my mum soooo worry about the place where i'm staying now....she keep on asking me whether i sleep well the night before o not....and keep on reminding me to lock my door since there's guys in the house (my housemate's bf,we knew each other as well)....the rest....nothing much different....o ya....i miss Success aunty's rice....i'm going back there eat later i think.....wanna give a surprise to her...wahahah....coz i found that i haven figure our where's the cafeteria here....and i don't like cafeteria food.....but i heard them say that the food in cafeteria here is kindda nice....so...maybe i'll have to try that out one day....

whenever i'm alone here, my mind will have a lot of people flash back in my mind.....of coz....guys....and girls.....some frens that i'll never meet again when i'm here.....some frens that i leave in my hometown, Bintulu....but then....i should thank God that i still have all those churchmate i know here in Subang church....so.....jia you la.....

Back to School......

Well....it's been a long time since my last day at school....(it's not that long though,3 months only!!!)and now....i'll be going back to school this monday.....believe it!!!!yeah....last few months my life was soooooo threatened by this school thingy.....coz after my 1st yr of food tech in Taylors College i do not know where i will be this yr....well...u might want to ask me why i dont want to continue my food tech study,rite???It's not that i didn't get good result than been 'sack' by school!!!!it's....i dont want to twin to Australia....so i keep on searching for the school that provide 3+0 Bio-medic programme or Bio-tech programme.....finally.....i've found Monash Msia and AIMST(Asian Institute of Medicine, Sience and Technology) in Kedah....Thank God for that....He always listen to my prayer....no matter where i am....what i do....Thank God....I Love you....Thank you for Loving me First!!!!Hallelujah....

Now get back to my topic....i've been suffering for the whole yr.....mentally suffering....coz i do not have the confident in myself....to get in to Monash....then i pray to GOD....told HIM to guide me....only HE knows where is the right place to put me in.....well...it sounds normal for those who just wanna apply and get into a uni....maybe it's just a piece of cake for u....but for me....i've been rejected twice by Monash....that's why i take the food tech course in Taylors College....after being rejected twice.....do u still have the confident that the school will consider your application again???i don't think so.....at least i dont have that confident again....but then....miracle sometimes do happen....but only with GOD's leading....now...i'm a student of Monash University Msia!!!!which mean that....my school life will start again!!!!everything will rotate again....

there's soooo much sadness in my heart now....coz....i'll have to leave my home for about 3 months like that(hopefully)....and of coz all my dear church mate....cell group member....and the most important is my dear JOCELYN....i don't know whether when i get back here will she ever knew me again....sad....i'll feel sad whenever i think that i'll have to suffer from some....something that i dont want to mention it here....just.....a lot of things to suffer....but....hey....i've to praise GOD for letting me to go into Monash....so i should be proud of that....well...after thinking of that...it make me feel more relieve...coz i know...GOD IS JUST BY MY SIDE!!!

It's Valentine.....

Yoyo....it's Valentine today...i think u guys out there must be very busy and very romantic rite???hahaha....as for me....i'm just normal....nothing special for me on this days ever since i was born.....but then i was questioned by a lot of people for asking me whether to buy or will be receiving anything from someone special on this kind of day....hahaha....do i look like i'm not available????strange ne.....well....what i'm going to share now do not have a word that are connected with Valentine.....

Well, i just came back from the summer camp organised by our church youth fellowhip....hohoho...it's great....perfect i should say....real fun...but tiring.....the muscle from my whole body was overstretch ie pain....it's been two days now since the camp and now only my muscle are recovering.....it's was full of excitement for the camp and of coz we learn GOD's words together....but then.....honestly...i think that....i don't feel enough for the sermon and message.....i think that most of our time we are playing....jungle trekking.....resting....and stuff like that.....but overall....it's the most craziest camp i've ever been to....we even got disco party on the last nite ler....hohoho.....let me show u guys some pic.....cant wait to upload it....

i) that the pic taken when we were jungle trekking...i dont know how i get into the pic....
ii) this pic is....so unreal...but....believe it!!!
iii) the "Big Family"
iv) i like this pic very much.....coz there's someone i like in it.....
v) he is in there as well!!!
vi) get prepare for jungle trekking!!!!we all go with our slippers.....

Answer for Love and Like

Very cute ho this cartoon and wording....but then i found that this thingy soooo suit me....it speaks out all the feeling from the bottom of my heart...
<= this one say: in the story of Cinderella, she had the support from the angel.....but when i'm sad, only i can support myself....

<= this one say : Like is a slightly LOVE, but Love is a deeply LIKE!!!

Ang Pao!!!!红包！！！

It's Chinese New Year yo!!!I think u guys out there must have got a lot a lot of ang pao ho....well getting ang pao is real great....but as for me...i think it in a different way....i feel like....during Chinese New Year time we all go to visit all our friends and relative houses....then those who haven get married....will receive an ang pao from those who had married....this year i had a kindda dark and dull emotion....then i started to think everything negatively....i feel like go visiting to someone house during this particular time is only just for Ang Pao.....it's like we go to visiting the friends house is not because we want to VISIT them...but to 'beg' i should say...for an ang pao......then when we had get what we want...then...we'll leave the house and search for our next 'victim'.....although i know that the word that i used is kindda rude....but then that's what i think......that's why this year my ang pao are only from relatives.....i haven gone to any one of my frens houses....or maybe it's because that i cant join them......i always got a lot of things popping out suddenly.....so i cant plan anything with my fren and stuff like that....when i plan something...then i'll be the one who cancel the plan...it's always because of me....i just don't know why.....less of freedom?????i don't think so....it's just i CARE too much for my family.....when only one people get angry in my house, i wont feel like going anywhere or talking to anyone....i just CARE too much.....i heard a lot of my frens here say that i've change a lot since i've come back from study (for holiday)....well....i cant explain anything about it....and i don't have to.....it's my business...and it's your business to comment...i cant stop that!!!!Anyway.....may i have a nice and smooth DOGGY year......

恭喜恭喜！！！新年快乐！！！新年蒙恩！！！Happy New Year!!!

咚咚咚咚锵！！！咚咚咚咚锵！！！恭喜呀恭喜！！！发呀发大财。。。
It's the FIRST DAY of Chinese New Year again!!!Wahahaha....soo happy.....we kids are happy, coz only during this time we all will have "income"....wahahaha....super happy ler me here.....then also can go to a lot of leng chai and leng lui beautiful houses....this year there'll going to be soooo much different for me...coz this year....i'm allowed to DRIVE MYSELF!!!!wahahaha....no need always "lompang" people and also my mum wont need to spend her time sending me to my frens house and stuff like that....she got a whole lot more relatives to serve....wahahaha....happy happy....

Yesterday afternoon.....Chinese New Year Eve....our whole family here super busy lerr.....me spend whole afternoon baking cake....one lemon cheese cake and one is what call Sarawak Batik Cake=the one that is black black one and with marie biscuits inside the cake, no need to put into oven bake one....but then that one...me kindda fail lo....coz the cake is a bit....not like what other people do.....sooo now i put all my hope onto my cheese cake....then only today i found that i didn't dissolve the gelatine on my cheese....that's why my cheese doesn't gel together....oooohhh....ai....everyone have their first time....so this one is mine....and also....huh...i got whole lot of FIRST TIME....for this new year....

The day before yesterday....me and my family go to our grandma's house to have a BBQ "party"....wahaha....of course...all the food are superb!!!!All of the relatives from my mum's side all "drunker" that doesn't get "drunk"....hahhaa....soooo...they open a lot of XO and stuff like that...and also they buy VODKA which is a 5% alcoholic drink.....then somemore got strawberry and orange flavour....walao....that one is damn nice man!!!Guess how much i drink???I drink a whole bottle of it....(the bottle which is as big as a bottle of beer).....about 500ml i think.....huh....then....me DRUNK.....slightly DRUNK....i just feel like everything is moving in front of me (even the EARTH)....and start to have the desire to VOMIT!!!walao.....now i start to understand why girls very easy to get cheated inside a bar and stuff like that.....then i get back home i sleep without having my bath!!!!huh....that's my FIRST TIME as well.....i cant even stand up propaply and get into the bathroom!!!HUH!!!hard time...really....

Rainy Day!!!!

It's Raining!!!!Rain Rain and Rain outside there.....everything is soooo wet and damp.....well it sounds normal to rain in a hot day.....but hey....this rain had been pouring down since 23/1/06, which is a Sunday midnight....and until now the rain haven stop.....(although only for 5 minutes).....ho!!!Fortunately the place where i live was kindda....high i should say.....at least all the drain are all WORKING outside....so the water still can move smoothly.....well i'm not sure whether there are other place which also as safe as my place here....anyway...i hate rainy days...it's wet everywhere...if you wear long pants, you'll have to pull up you pants and the worst things is that if you wear sport shoes...it will be soaking in the water...that's terrible!!!!I hate that.....For me i like a Sunny day....i'll feel more energetic by seeing the sun shining real brightly outside there.....if raining....it make me feel dizzy and sad....coz a lot of sad story used to happen in a rainy day.....hai.....hope the rain will stop!!!!

MONASH....i'm coming

Well....i just get this shocking and breaking news this evening.....i got a phone call from Monash (Malaysia campus) telling me that i get the conditional offer from their UNI..when i heard this i almost shout out with joy!!!!coz i've been putting in my application since last year when i've finish my SAM, then i've been rejected....it was the advisor from Aused Subang Jaya who help me on all these things....she told me to appeal again...but then it was rejected again....now then i've finish my first year food technology in Taylors College...i put in my application again....n there was no news until recently....someone from Monash call me...asking for my official transcript result....then....my sister told me that they are considering me.....but after being rejected soooo many times....the heart had already been broken into a thousand pieces, there's no feeling at all for the result of my aplication....at first i know that there's not much hope....then i go to search for other school....which seems to have more chance....and i even get my ticket book lerr...the free fare one....only pay for 40 bucks....for the airport tax....now....I'VE GOT MY CONDITIONAL OFFER!!!!!!...wont mine to pay more to go to monash!!!!Ho....there r still excitement inside my body now....hohoho!~!!!!

PS::: Thank you very very very much to Sophia from Aused Subang Jaya!!!!If u guys got anything about education or uni application....go find her!!!

Dream

It's been a long time since my last post...well i cant find a topic to talk here...only till these few days...i don't know why...maybe because i've been very busy and fussy during the day time then in the night time, when i go to sleep i used to dream a lot...i dream about anything....mostly my leehom of cause...and there's other dream as well...but then the weird thing is that....(what i found out)...my dream use to reflect something to me....like these few days there's a pair of twins, my church friends here....keep on popping out in my dream...and my "diagnose" is that in real life i wish to get to know them but then i don't have the chance or maybe i don't know how....it's true!!!Sometimes dream makes me feel happy but sometimes make me confuse....i always used to dream that i'm a friend of LEEHOm....hahhaha...i'm not kidding....hahah...stupid lerr....