My 21st Bday

These are the pic that i took by myself...includin all the ppl that gatherin around my house and my new hairstyle...haha...

1) My 21-year-old look....HEHEHE....COPYRIGHT from ELLA....hahaha

2) This is the receipt for my hairstyle....with the DAY that GOD created me....

3) Whole bunch of ppl tryin to give me surprise....but they fail instead....

夜间的灵感

每一次看回我所写的一些文章，都会觉得有种莫名的伤感。应该是因为我太敏感了吧，只要有一点点的芝麻绿豆，我就会觉得世界是灰暗的。这种现象在今年（我发现）特别严重。我甚至会开始怀疑别人对我的好，开始怀疑那个人对我的居心。我的世界突然变得好灰暗，以前在我心里的那颗太阳跑去那里了呢？难道真的像‘太阳浩劫Sunshine’那部戏里的太阳一样吗？

每次功课的压力都弄到我喘不过气来，有时候甚至想过放弃。但是，听见妈妈在电话里说我们是她的依靠时，就会有鼓动力让我继续下去。好想明天就立刻毕业，然后回家陪她。没关系，很快了。明年的这个时候就是我准备毕业的时候了。我一定不会再给我借口不极格，会不极格都是我自己造成的。我不会再让这样的事情再一次的发生。

虽然每次都会觉得人心好险恶，但至少我知道还是有一些面临绝种的人在外面。男生对我来说都是一样的，没有好和坏男人，只有用心或不用心。往往在我身边的都是一些吊儿郎当的，样子看起来是一脸正经但好像笑里都藏着一把刀。这难道就是单恋的后遗症吗? 我不敢否认，多多少少有一点成份在。我可以很肯定的说，神为我安排的那一位还没出现。没关系，耐心等待必要欢呼！神知道我什么时候准备好，什么时候最适合。我的一切的一切，神都知道。

就算全世界的人事物是假的，神对我的爱永远都是真的。一切权柄荣耀都是我父的。

原来我是那么在乎的 27/6/2007

一直以来我都知道我是很讨厌别人动了我的东西而不放回原位的，我还以为或许时间久了我的习惯会改。但原来不是的，本性就是如此了就很难改的了。

昨晚我因为安顿我外婆她们后就赶回来家开会。在我等着Monorail时容循打电话给我，跟我借衣服换，我也答应了而且还叫他随便（既然我不在家）。当我一到家时就发现我房间的灯是开着的，当我踏进房间时，里面是没有人的！更离谱的是，我的电脑是开着的，而且戏是被停顿（pause）在那里的！这还不是什么大件事，还有更离谱的是-他们竟让真的很听我的话-随便！原本花了一个早上收拾的房间，地上又放满了东西而且还真的是随便放的那种！

天啊！我给我自己的解释是-因为我们在外面开会所以没地方放。电脑呢-就是他们太闷了所以开来看。那灯呢，就是他们出去得太赶啦。在这些自我安慰的话后，心理至少没有这么难受了。

怎知我们一堆人出去帮思箐庆祝好生日回来后，我要准备冲凉时，发现我的衣服像被贼翻过一样（是我夸张了点），我心里顿时就有一股怒气涌上来。我一直对容循的印象都很好的，在我心目中她不像那种会做出以上种种事情的人。但我觉得罪魁祸首应该不只她一个。

我生气不是因为她们开我电脑看我的戏，我生气不是因为她们弄乱我房间和我的衣服，我气的是如果你要用我的电脑，那拜托你-如果你看到我没在家，麻烦你跟我所一声。难道我不会借吗？我有时虽然是吝奢了点，但这样的东西我没好吝奢的吧？最起码，你看好不用就这样开着放在那里吧？还要是停顿的（虽然我也常做这样的事），但我可不知道你们放它在那种情况多久了呀！这样对我电脑的系统带来很大的伤害呀！东西摊在地上我还没这么气，最气的就是我的衣服！明明排得好好的衣服被弄乱了！天啊！你要跟我借衣服，如果你要一件一件拉出来看它是怎样的，没关系！这是一定要的啊！我们去逛街不也是这样吗？但是，重点是，这里是我家啊！我的衣服都是我自己折的啊！你把它一件一件拉出来，最起码你也把它折回去让排好好的吧？这种原理应该没有很深吧？图书馆不也是每次都说：看过的书请放回原位吗？这是一样的道理啊！他们搞到好像逛街买衣服一样。

这虽然很小事，但我心里就是很不舒服。现在回想起来，那股怒气就是会上来。我这一生人最讨厌人家拿了我东西没放回原位和拿了我东西没经过我的同意！好气！！！气死我了！

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.....

Happy Birthday to ME....Happy Birthday to ME...Happy Birthday to Me...Happy Birthday to CINDY....Happy Birthday to me.....Haha....I've finally grown up to 21 years old liao lo....cant believe that i'm adult now...i'm no longer a child lo....Haha....So in order to make this day special, i get myself present and set myself a 21-year-old target....haha....i join California Fitness, go to have a nice nice haircut and change my look...i'll be totally different when u c me then....haha....

However, there's something disappoint me happen as well....there's two friends of mine who are very nice, wanted to bring me out to play....but then at last i found that they are all not willing to come out....they are like being force by me....they are all sooo tired and do not feel like shopping and they keep on mentioning something like....(the guy say)'come let's drive to shah alam lo?'--a girl whom he admire lives there....i know what he means....he means that if it wasn't me he'll be going to find that girl out instead of me. (though i dont know whether tat girl is free o not)....and another fren of mine (the gal) just finish work and was exhausted....i feel like she was dragging her body and walkin together....i just don't want other ppl to purposely suit themselve because i want to....i don't want to force ppl for that....though i din force them....but....i feel guilty when i heard all these words and see all their tired reaction....i feel guilty...i don't feel good....hai....

There'll be more pic for my 21st birthday coming...include my birthday present (that i buy for myself), my new hairstyle and stuff like that....hahaha....cant wait for that....but....i still have one more final paper 2molo....HUH.....this was like a cold water had been poured down on me....everyone had been enjoyin their holiday and i'm still forcing myself here to read d books....aduhai....

Suffering

In 4 hours time, i'll be sitting in the exam hall for my genetic final test. I am so tired....this is the first time ever i totally surrender myself for this. I feel so stupid and useless. I just cant remember what i've study and i cant understand what i study. I seriously dont want to let my parents down, i wanted them to feel proud for me. But i just cant do that!!! I'm so useless. I always letting them down. I'm so stupid. What i can do now is pray hard so that those things which i had studied and remembered well will be usefull in the paper later. I'm so tired of this final exam thingy.

A memorial Saturday

Last last saturday (3/6) it was the most happiest saturday i've ever had in my life. Thanks to my buddy-Shi Ling. If it wasn't her, i wont have the chance to eat those 5 stars korean feast, i wont go to 1-U and having fun, i wont go to True Fitness and see by myself how big it was, i wont be able to meet Nick Foong-the good-looking True Fitness counsellor....

Although all these seems normal, but i do had a memorial saturday ever in my life. I've never eat a real korean food....i just cant explain that....it's just....amazing....so bad that i din take some photo of how all the food looks like...because that restaurant is strictly prohibited for ppl to take photo....not for the food but even for the ppl...erm....i dun understand why but that's the rule...

So wish that i can eat some more special things for my coming birthday....i'm turning 21st....the birthday present that i wanted and will i'm the only one that can buy it for myself is to join as a member in California Fitness which will be opening soon in Sunway Pyramid....HOHOHO!!!!I cant wait to see Jackie Chan for that...my 21st target is to get slim....get fit....i don't wish for other ppls present (instead i wanted to stay alone during that day of mine, between me and GOD). Though i'm having exams now (which i'm suffering so much now), i'm always think of where to hide myself from all of the people i knows here. I just want to leave that day for me, alone! I just wanted to live that day without any earthly friends, i'll leave everything to GOD, appreciate GOD's making and GOD's working during that special day (for me). If it wasn't HIM, i won't be here.

Erm, i have to get back to study. O else Patricia will start mumbling besides me....hahah....

2007 American Idol

Congrats to Jordin Sparks, the new American Idol. Although i wasn't really supporting her, but so do have a great vocal. When she sing 'This is my Now', the producer's song made only for the Finale, she even touched herself whereby she shade into tears. But through that song, i believed that she've touched everyone in the theatre that night and of course including those watching her performance that night (including me). I've already had that song downloaded and everytime i listen to her version, my hairs stands onto the end!!! Like they are standing to show respect, wahaha!!! Good on you Jordin!!!Just in case you are wondering who Jordin is, i've got a pic here from americanidol.com to show you.

Well, i feel a little bit disappointed for Blake Lewis (the one i supporting). He din get to the top. But at least he had made it to the finale and had done such a great performance ever. He is such a talent in beat-boxing. But i must not deny that he cannot do well in ballet song where Jordin do did well in this. Haha, i sounds like one of d judges. Wahaha. Here is a pic of Blake Lewis:

(this was the pic taken when he was singin 'this is my now')

HUH, i'm so into american idol these days. Although it's the end for this season, i still keep on refreshing on the performances by watching the video on youtube. Haha, really feel glad for those who post up the videos there. And also, the reasons for me to gettin mad of this reality show is that there will have a lot of great artist performin like Bon Jovi:

Gwen Stefani, Maroon 5, Chris Doughtry, Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood.....whole lots more. Besides that, there will have some artist who come and watch the shows. It's the Fantastic Four:

Testimony

I wanna spend some time writing my testimony here...I've never done it before...so i'd decided to do it now...

Last weeks is the busiest week i've ever had...i've been struggling sooo sooo much for my assignment and reports....it's been a tough time whereby i have no idea how am i goin to start for that and besides, i've sooo many things to settle like choir committee meeting, fellowship praise and worship thing...and also there's something happen in my family as well....all of these stress and tiredness makes me feel so hard to breath....how i wish i'd can skip everything here....gone far away to a world where no one will recognise me....then started to pray to GOD....tell HIM whatever i feel deep down in my heart...tell HIM how i suffered from this world....tell HIM my disappointment....then there's one day, when i came in to the class i heard people whispering bout the extension of the assignment...then this is first time ever i approach to someone i don't even know her name to ask for that....i was almost shade in tears when i heard that that girl told me...she say someone ask for the extension on the assignments and our lecturer had approve that...THANK GOD!!!Then with all the pack schedule that i used to had the day before, it change totally to the schedule which i can fit and done everything on time. THANK GOD for that....Although it's hard to believe that, it's true....it's my testimony here.

GOD is the almighty GOD who walks alongside with us....i never feel alone...whenever i'm facing any problem, i knew that there's someone holding my hands and guiding me showing me the bright path....whenever i walk too fast, HE will told me to slow down....i just can heard his voice beside me, leading me guiding me....too complicated ho....for example: when there's one time i feel super stress up and i forgot to seek for his kingdom, there will have a song that make me remember him....like BON JOVI's 'livin on the prayer' and 'keep the faith'....although BON JOVI does not directly sing the words of GOD, but through the words in his song it's sounds like GOD was talking to me....i feel sooo thankful that i had GOD to be walk with....

If u think that i sound ridiculous, nevermind. I'll continue to pray for you. I believe that there will have one day we'll be sitting together in the kingdom of glory. Do you want to take Jesus Christ as your personal saviour??? Take a deep thought of that. May all glory were given unto him!!! Alleluia....

BON JOVI ROCKS.....

I just cant believe that i'm so addicted into Bon Jovi recently because of the theme (Bon Jovi's Song) in American Idol. I'm so addicted to him!!! Although last time i've been addicted once since their album 'Crush' but now, they will be back again with their new album 'Lost Highway'....i cant wait for that....

Recently i've been downloading some of their top songs and found that they are superbly nice....i've never knew that....their songs is soo soo sooo nice....HUH!!!! I'm getting too excited bout them....and the most important thing is that...the vocal -Jon Bon Jovi is the man!!!! He is such a gorgeous man...a nice man...he is so rational....he is so fair to everyone...he tell the truth and scold the contestant necessary....hug them and kiss them when necessary to keep the contestant feels good....WOW!!!! I'm just too addicted to the band right now....the band won't live without everyone...they are the longest rock band every present in this world....

BON JOVI ROCKS....


This is the man whom i think will be the AMERICAN IDOL 2007....he got the package...he is talented...able to take the risk where even Jon Bon Jovi say that he was rolling on a dice...but he made it!!!!YEAH!!!!

Best Friends Birthday

It's one of my best friend's birthday yesterday. In the past i used to prepare a lot of things for her during this particular day like i'll spend so many effort on her present and spend so much money on the cake or celebration and stuff like that. Well, i don't mind to spend all these for her but everytime after her birthday i'll have the emptyness inside me. I just do not feel happy after spending so much effort. Maybe because she was too popular and everyone wants to spend the time with her during that particular day. So this year, i do not spend any time with her. Of course i still buy something for her. But it's just a handphone hanger and there's no cake from me this year. I just fed up with everything. Once i spend so much effort on something, and when i don't get the reaction i want i'll feel super down. So this time i just make everything clear and simple. More expectation will leads to more disappointment. This phrase always reminds me when i'm doing something which sometimes seems to be meaningless to me.

Today there are cell group gathering. And guess what i'm doing now???I'm sitting in the comp lab here searching for info for my cell met assignment. Actually i do it purposely coz i don't want to socialize with other ppl now (although most of the members are my frens). I just don't feel like socializing with the outside world now. I'd prefer to keep everything all inside me. I started to have the feeling whereby i feel like it's meaningless for me to get socialized to the outside world. I feel like no one is going to listen to me. But don't worry, i wont collapse one. Talk to myself wont hurt my heart one. Haha

A 5 Star Weekend

I've been spending my weekend with my parents whom come here to play and live in a 5 star hotel - ParkRoyale KL. Though this is not my first time to stay there, but i still loved to live there. It's just super nice. Especially the buffet breakfast and dinner that they had. It's gorgeous. I can say that i've travelled throughout the world (in terms of food) in two days time. I keep on eating super lot of sashimi and whole lot of desserts which we can only see from magazines or advertisement. I just cant believe that i see the real thing displaying in front of me calling me to eat them. This is call 5 STAR man!!!Besides that, every morning at the reception counter there will have fresh apple for you to eat. So i took one per day and keep it instead of eating it. HUH!!!I just super like that hotel.

And ho we accidentally or rather purposely go to Sg Wang to have a walk around and see this handsome Chen Shi An and the beautiful girl JOJO (Tat's wat they call them) standing on the stage. Let me post some pic that i've taken.


Haha, these are the Malaysian artist that i met la. Although they are not that popular or well known, but at least i know that guy ler. He's kindda good looking o.

Besides that, i've meet MY fm ford everest tak gong dui in Lot 10 also wo. We all like see what they give and what they play lo. N ho n ho, when we go to midvalley...when we wanted to take the cab and get back to the hotel, we see Sultan's car parkind outside the south court entrance ler. It's seriously Malaysia SULTAN's car ler. My dad recognize that car is the most expensive car whereby it was imported from england and which roughly cost about RM100K ler. HUH!!! Cant imagine ler. Then we ask the taxi driver. He say is the Sultan here in midvalley coz only he can have his car like that (without car numbers but just the Sultan logo on the car). But then he say dunno is from which state one la. HEHEHE....i do see a lot of things ler this weekend. Too enjoy and relax liao.

A meaningful Flow Chart

下面这个网站好有意思哦，我自己看了一直在那里不停的点头赞同。
http://www.oicq88.com/999/love3.htm
文章里面说到一句话：‘爱情是坚贞的也是最不可靠的东西’。哇，这句话我可是赞成到五体投地呀。看到所有的结论都是--痛苦+结束，这不仅让我怀疑爱情对人的重要性。难道人就真得不能没有爱情吗？有了爱情的那些认真的都会“痛苦+结束”吗？

这些种种的怀疑和猜测，加上看见种种没有结局的爱情的我对爱情这回事。。。看不开呀。不是因为我悲观，换做是你的话，你也不能会乐观到哪里去的。一次的失败就已经够痛苦的了，难道我还要在伤口洒盐吗？和另一半手牵着手走在街上的画面对我来说只是一场梦。现实生活里的我就连和同性的拍党一起出去玩并手牵着手的画面已经算是很珍贵的了，更何况是与异性。

我的生活里面永远都只有我自己。遇到什么困难悲伤，除了祷告求主帮助外我还是自己一个人。在我的字典里，永远没有比朋友更深的‘朋友’。就算有的话也只是在我的梦里。在梦里多自由，想干什么就干什么；我甚至很享受在梦里与力宏手牵着手逛街的画面。有时梦给人的感觉好真实，虽然醒来后会有小小的失落，但无可否认的是--那种甜甜的感觉是不会被破坏的。

只有耶稣对我们的爱是真实的。他对我们的爱是永不改变的。为什么我们渴望得到人的爱而不去接受主对我们的爱呢？那种爱世人无法给的，只有他能够。

Wireless....Hurray!!!!

I cant believe i'm using wireless to online now here in LCCT. Wahahaha, first time ler. Fortunately i've got my battery charged. Wahaha, cant believe it. Although it's kindda slow la, but i still think it's great. It's my first time using wireless ler!!! Somemore it's after my comp went into hospital. I just so love it after it was released from the 'Hospital" ler....hehehe....nothing to do now ler so post my blog lo....hehehe....

So excited i'm going back home liao. I'll see Jocelyn in 5 hours time. I just cant wait for that. I miss her soooo much. I miss her voice....I miss every part of her....Hurray....I'm so happy n excited now although i din have enough sleep last nite (for 3 hours nia o)....hahaha

Busy and Sick week

Busy is the word that i'm telling everyone around me. There are endless reports and assignments for me to hand in before i'm off for my break. Although it sounds nice, but during the break i won't be free as well. I'll have to study for my cell met whereby i'm always lost in the lec and i've to think of the self design experiment that will happen after the break....HUH....everything just come and come and come. I just don't even have time to breath.

I've been spending my whole weekend with my sis whole family. Of coz with my dearest Jocelyn as well. She's super cute. When she call me, i feel like melting. Her tiny voice was sooo cute and it sounds nice. So happy to see her again. Well, i'm getting a little bit of flu and some sore throat. Because there's one morning we brought her to the hotel swimming pool. Fortunately she din get sick, but her aunty here get sick. Hahaha...which mean i'm even weaker than her. Well, actually it's good for me to sick as well coz it's the time for me to change my internal immune system as well.

This weekend, i'll be heading to my hometown again lo. I can't wait for that. But i'm starting to worry for the books and reports that i'm going to bring back. HUH!!!! Whatever i say now is reports, assignments and study. Started to feel stress up now. Stress up in my work and stress up in socializing with ppl. I just don't wanted to even talk to those who i knew so much. I started to have a very negative feeling whereby i feel that everyone is so so so different from the outside. They are just so unreal. I just don't know why tat i do not feel good in getting to know others. I feel good with myself. So i still prefer to keep everything myself and post it up here instead of writing out into my diary. Tired....

全身酸痛--muscle fatigue

哇，只要我动一动我的手就觉得好痛。前两天参加团契的营会，一到家就不省人事了四小时。这次的营会，或许只有两天一夜的关系，所以没有依依不舍。反而觉得于人的关系变淡了，应该和我玩在一块的反而不理我，而我也觉得好像没话和她说。难道我们的友谊就只是这么肤浅吗？或许她觉得不舒服吧，有或许她太忙了吧。这些我都不想多想。现在的我只知道我原来是没有朋友的！！！原来好像可以和每个人玩成一块的我只是我的表面，而其实大家是不喜欢我的。虽然大家都没有表现出来，但我有一颗敏感的心。你们没有表现出来的，我都看得见只是我不说而已。没关系啦，又不是第一次这样了。难道我是第一天认识他们吗？既然知道他们是这种人了，那我也不需要这么在意了。但，难道说不在意就会不在意吗？一个伤口愈合了总会留下伤疤的。

还好有一位温柔体贴的梅琴在一旁帮助我，鼓励我。不然我真的很难想象现在的我还会不会继续把欢乐带给大家。我一个人伤心流泪就好，不要连累别人。世界因爱发光！！！神爱世人，所以我也要学着把神的爱带给其他人。加油！！！虽然这种日子会很难熬，但有神与我同在我并不孤单也不害怕。我知道有一双手永远都在牵着我，带领着我。人不喜欢我没关系，神一定不会离弃我。

Tough reports

I've been facing a real big problem this sem. My lab partner (for one of my subject) are all sucks....this is the first time i've been using this harsh word to describe someone. But i can't help it, i just cannot control myself from calling them this. I thought i was the blurress person in the lab, who knows that there was someone blurrer than me!!!How can it be!!! The girl even ask me 'what have we done last week?'. WOW!!!!This was super 'cool'. She had been attend to the lab for two weeks and she do not know what had she been doing there in the lab for 3 hours time??? This is ridiculous. HUH...*cooling down*....whatever, just don't care for them. Fortunately we don't have to share our reports as well.

Yesterday i've been sitting in the computer lab for almost 6 hours just to figure out how to analyse and present the results into my lab report. Thank GOD that i had Patricia (a good helper) sitting beside me and helping me to analyse all the statements. It was GOD who arrange her to be at my side whenever i've been facing problem in my reports and stuff. I feel so thankful whenever i see her.

Last weeks i've been busy for the church stuff. That's the first time i feel that i was super busy and i was almost getting mad about everything. Even Jennifer was frightened by me. And for this week, there's a world's toughest report to be done and handed in on Monday. Sometimes i feel like i almost collapse, but whenever i see Jocelyn's pic in my handphone or even her voice calling me fron the other side of the phone, there will be a voice telling me that i had to set a good example for her refer when she grown up. She's my motivation for everything. And of course my mum is the one who motivates me as well. I swear to myself that i must graduate and get a nice job and let her had a better life to live. I just feel useless whenever i saw her suffering there all by herself.

Soo....have to get back and do my reports....or else....i don't even dare to think about it....Gambateh!!!

Tired again!!!!

This week is the most tiring week for me. The reason that causes me to get this tired is not because that i started to have lab reports and stuff to do and to pass up, but is because of the emmcf things. Tomorrow is the day where we promote our choir. I'm the class rep for the choir so i have to be the one who handling all these things. I was super exhausted. There's a lot of things that i do not know how to do but i can see that GOD is beside me. HE is always there helping me for everything. HE bring others to me and help me so that i won't be suffering all alone. Although i feel tired and exhausted, i still feel energetic and excited for everything i've been doing now. It's different from the exhaustion that i used to had last time.

Nothing is Complicated

One of my housemate wanted to move out from the house since her sister was moving back to their hometown. Then, she was suggesting another guy to move into her room and ask me whether i wanted to move or not. Well, i was lazy to move out as you know moving out require so so much of energy and time. It's so troublesome. Somemore i only have one more year left here. So i do not feel to move. However, another housemate of mine think another way. He said he do not want someone he don't know to move into the house. Does he means that he wanted to cover up the rental for the empty room all by himself??? I definitely wont share the rental with him.

Everything is just so simply. Just one go and one in and that's it. Why must he make it so complicated??? I just don't understand.

Stupid Line

I pay soooo much to this school and get a super damn slow connection. Somemore my timetable is like hell. Who have their break for 4 hours in between? Stupid. What i am so mad about is the internet connection now. It is super super slow!!! AARGH!!! I'm so so so so mad about this....

Back in my room (KL)

Time has been working so hard that it didn't even rest for a while. My 3 months holidays had become a history just like that. Now i have to accept a brand new year 2007 with my study here in Monash.

This holiday i have been through a lot of things. There are good and bad of course. Sometimes when i cool down myself and think back what i've done, i realize that i was such a bad tempered and rude girl. Besides that, i'm very good at covering up myself so that others won't know the inside of me. Sometimes i was impressed with myself bout that. When someone tells me that how rude i am, i was like poured with cold water all over. Only then i realize that i am rude. So, this time for me to get back here in KL is for me to change my attitude, change my temper, change my manner. I've got to train myself to be more patient expecially communicating.

It's been a long time since my last flight to KL by using MAS airline. Well, it seems ordinary. But this is my first time sitting on MAS airbus. This airbus was so so different from airasia airbus. This airbus is very long and wide inside where it have 8 seats per row. WOW!!! This is my first time for sitting in such a huge plan. Although i do feel a little air sick, but i do manage it well that i did not vomit out. It probably because that i'm stuck in the middle of people and make me feel dizzy.

HUH....2molo 12pm is my first class...better get ready for everything....

High tech hp

This is ridiculous! I'm using my hp 2 post my blog here! Cant believe tat this new N73 of mine was so 'powerful'. At first i was just try n c whether i got load d blogger page, n now i'm here posting my blog! Wow!

Well,i'm in kch now. Enjoyin my last few days of my holiday. It's kindda sad tat i cant meet up Sophia, but i still can meet up Jen n others. Last nite, my dear Yee Man had fly back 2 aus. I so hope 2 meet her up end of this year.

Haha, wat a good phone my dad buy me. Although it's kindda huge 2 hold in hand, d function is awsome! Muakzz my dear N73...lov ya!

Last day at home

I cant believe that the times flies sooo fast....It's like yesterday i've been telling my parents that i'm going back home and now i'm telling them that my flight is tomorrow....

It's been a tough and tiring and joyous holiday. Although there are too many things that happen which seems to be unsolved, at least i feel that everything had been going on smoothly. I was mentally tired but not physically. I feel that i'm having such a joyous time spending times with my beloved Jocelyn. She was such a cute girl (although she was kindda naughty). I'll definitely miss her when i get back there.

Today i just allocate my timetable. It seems ok whereby i do not have any crashes. But....i have too much break in between....3-4 hours per day....Oh No!!!So i think i must join the swimming club then i'll go swimming during my break times. Or maybe i can used that time to do my report and stuff....but i afraid that i'll get lazy and get online to download all the stupid stuff and watch....OH....watever...i must must must work hard...I wont let myself to fail anymore....i must fight.....

Happy Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day again....for me, this is just another ordinary day. I do not deny that i was very warm to have someone holding my hand or even just have the hand over my shoulders (where i use to feel super warm in a cold weather when the driver in China put his hand around my shoulders). I always thinks that this is the day where i'll get myself into more trouble. In my recent life, whoever i meet are those very popular ones (for guys i mean) so there's one time that i used to be answering others questions about one of my best friend in this peak time. So this time, i'd just keep everything to myself. I didn't attending church fellowship and didn't even go to sunday worship service. I know i cannot be stopping from all the meeting at church but i just cant help myself. I just don't want to go out and social with others. Moreover, i think that the fellowship is getting 'bigger' and 'bigger'. I just feel like it's hard for me even to squeeze into the crowd. I don't want anyone to recognize me or even notice my appearance, but i just started to questioning whether the purpose for the new crowd to get into the fellowship is for GOD sake or any other things else.

Whatever it is. What i wanted to say now is that....I'M IN LOVE AGAIN!!!!! HAHAHA :D This is kindda ridiculous right. Well, i don't have a real guy for me to love to so i'd have to love on someone that everybody love and shared together. There are a lot of guy i like in my life. Well, let me listed all out.

1) My dear Jesus Christ -- He is GOD one and only son....He came to the earth because of our sin...He sacrifice himself on the cross for all of us....He LOVE everyone including sinners....He is the son of GOD....He listen to every word that we pray....He guide us through a light and correct pathway....I Love Him....

2) Wang Lee Hom -- He is no only good looking but also talented in music as well....He get very serious in doing everything....He is such a nice person....I've been in love with him since i was 12 (wow!!!)

3) Bosco Wong -- He is a new TVB artist which i'm recently mad with. He is such a happy guy. The reason that i like him is because of his laughter (weird ha!!). Whenever he laugh, i'll laugh together with him (in front of the tv) as well. I just couldn't understand why but his laughter is so powerful that it affect the person sitting in front of the tv. Besides that, i get to know that he is good at cooking as well. This was the point that i make me get mad at him this much. Maybe no one knew who he was. There's a pic shown beside, that's him. But one thing i'm concern...i think he is a little bit skinny. He can gain somemore weight i think....then he'll be perfect!!!!!

That's what i mean by the guy where everyone loved and share. I'd rather spend my time with these guys than any other one else. All the guys out there are so realistic (for me), even more realistic than girl. Guys think with their eyes but girls thinks with their heart. I always keep all these words in my mind.

A Beautiful Girl Just Die Like That

There's was a shocking news i heard yesterday night at around 9pm after i come back from outside still chit-chatting with my frens. What i heard was that a female taiwanese star whom got an accident on saturday was rushed to hospital in a very very bad and serious condition whereby she was already in coma condition when she was sent to the hospital. I think a lot of people must have heard of this shocking news happened in taiwan. She was such a beautiful and nice girl. Although i do not know her very well, or haven even watch any of her series...but this was a very shocking news to me.

Life is just like that. It can be a continuous...It can be meaningful...It can be life without a purpose...It can be ended without any reason....LIFE IS JUST LIKE THAT...We cannot predict what will happen in the next second. But all we can do is that we must live a PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE...We must live for GOD's sake!!!

Life is precious
Life is gold
Life is most valueable things on earth

Tired....

These days my life have been full of challenge. I started to feel exhausted and tired. I'm tired of facing all the stupid thing. Some of the things which seems ridiculous had happen in my family. I'm tired of everything. I feel like running away. But, where can i go? Everywhere will be a problem for me if i run away just like that! There are some words deep down in my heart that i cannot tell people. It doesn't mean that i don't want to, but just don't know how to put them in words.

I'm tired not only because of life. I'm tired of relationship between man as well. I'm tired of love. It's hard to be alone, but at least you won't hurt yourself when you are alone. Well.... i'm just tired....may GOD give me enough strength to face all these thing.

Tough

I always like the phrase-- Life is mean to be tough. For me, i think that my life is getting tougher and tougher as i grown up. There's more problems and troubles popping out anywhere whenever and whatever i do. If it wasn't because of GOD, i won't be able to face all these challenge. It was GOD that always holding my hands and facing all these challenge with me. I've been facing so much troubles and problems to face this few months. All these things keep me occupied. All these things keep my emotion at the most intense state. I feel like never had enough sleep although i sleep almost 10 hours a days! It was all those troubles that i have to face that keeps my body and soul busy and tired. I'm tired of everything. Sometimes i would even think of quitting everything. Just stay where i am and do what i wanted to. But i'll never be alive if i did that. The earth won't stop rotating because of me. The whole universe won't stop just like that because of me. So, I MUST BE TOUGH!

Although my body feel tired, my soul are exhausted, i always remind myself that there's always that special SOMEONE by my side. I knew that HE is just standing besides me, always ready by my side and giving me a hand. I knew for all that HE has done to me. There might have some unsolved problem that i'm facing right now, i knew that HE will definitely make way. All i have to do is continue to trust in HIM. Thankyou GOD!

冬天...秋天

又看了一部韩剧--<你来自哪颗星>. 韩剧通常都是在秋天或是冬天拍摄的. 而每当男女主角在那寒冷的天气里依偎在一起甚至是抱在一起的时候, 那种感觉好温暖哦!!! 我每次看到这种剧情时心里都会有股暖流踊上来 ... 仿佛我就是那位女主角一样.

顿时, 我就开始想...还好我不是在那种有四季的国家出生, 不然我的秋冬天肯定很难过. 在那种冷冷的气候里, 不管你穿上多厚的衣服都不比人的体温来得暖和. 那种暖和和衣服带来的暖和是不同的. 衣服的暖和只会是在表面的, 而人的体温所带来的暖和是暖到心里去的. 这种暖和在我上次去江南的时候就已体会到了. 王师傅那庞大的手臂所带来的温暖是我言语上无法形容的也是我无法忘怀的. 那时的我突然觉得心里好空虚. 我甚至还渴望能够有一个胳臂就像王师傅的一样温暖, 那样搂着我一辈子. 当然, 至今的我还在等候那个属于我的胳臂出现....或许十年....或许二十年....更或许永远都不会出现...但是...有一个胳臂是我看不见的...而且它时时刻刻都在搂着我抱着我...那就是耶稣基督的胳臂.

人就是这样. 你没有的东西, 你就越渴望去拥有它. 有时还会不顾一切后果将它得到. 而我们往往忽略了已经有一位伟大的圣人为我们所做的一切过犯承受了所有的罪刑. 他就是那伟大的耶稣基督. 我们应该为我们的现状而感恩, 荣耀主的圣名!!!哈利路亚...

幕后花絮

每一次看了一部剧都会特地上望去找他们拍摄的幕后花絮
因为每次看那些NG片段都会让人笑到不行
当然，好笑是其次
最重要的是我发现每一位演员在拍那部剧的时候都是很用心的
当让整个剧组也有很大的功劳啦

看了那些幕后的制作花絮，有一点是无可否认的
那就是-演员们不为人知的一面。
在片场，他们（演员们）就像一个大家庭一样
大家都有同样的目标-那就是快快拍好，回家睡觉!
他们甚至是在片场过年过节
就连我们一般人最重视的生日也得在工作力度过
当然，现实一点说-他们牺牲了生日但他们的口袋可没牺牲到呀

看了那些幕后花絮
总觉得演员们好团结，感情好好噢!
或许他们在明争暗斗
但至少在那一杀那我觉得他们是很好的。
这个宣传效果还真不赖嘛！

其实我想说的就是
我好像都从来没有那种团接及合作的对象
或许不可以这样说
但我觉得，我们在一起的默契还没达到很理想的程度
我很希望有一天我也可以有一帮猪朋狗友
大家一起打打闹闹。

从小到大我说所认识的人一个一个的都会离我而去
或许大家都在因为自己的梦想而奋斗吧
我也应该好好的奋斗了。。。
那我还在这里干嘛！！！
联考还没准备好啦！！！

Super Handsome instructor!!!!

Haha....d guy stand beside me is d fitness first instructor la....hohoho....he is super handsome man....have a super fit body.....n kindda shy shy like that....hahah....he is cute.....

n yesterday my roomate was walkin around sunway pyramid....then, she saw someone who looks familiar to her....guess who she see....that's right...it's the guy that stand beside me....somemore with his girlfriend....wahahah.....then she call me up (i was at home)....then i fly to sunway pyramid....by cab....wahaha....then we follow this couple throughout the whole shopping mall...hehehe....that guy is a super super super gentleman ler.....he holds her gf hands tightly.....and in his eyes there's only her gf inside....he might have notice that there's two girls who keep on following them....but i think.....he didn't see us directly.....sooooo jealous when i see this pair of couple....and the most important thing is that....his gf is super super super pretty.....this couple was like the prince and princess in the story we used to listen to when we are young.....sooooo......there'll definitely a happy ending for this couple....wish them all the best!!!

原来他走了。。。

每一次看到一张臭脸就知道是他的脸。他那张脸就是好像每次都有人欠他钱一样的。但如果他心情好的时候，全世界好像都是美好的一样。这些就是他的‘招牌’啦！时间还过得真是快，一转眼几年就这样过去了。他也毕业了！而且走了。。。

我本以为他走了我应该、也不会有多余的感觉。但原来我一直在骗我自己！这几天常会有他的影子在我脑海里出现，唯一不同的是-他已经走了。虽然我知道要去哪里找他，但心里就是有一种莫名的空虚。就像那天星期天去教堂，明明就很多人。但我的视线就会很不经意的一直在找着他的影子。看不到他的背影，心里有莫名的空虚。这种现象是我解释不了的。

那天星期五明知道是最后一天看见他了，自己却宁愿在后面忙东忙西的。其实我根本就没有好忙的，自己心里只觉得好像好多东西做一样。就连他要我一起拍个照六年我都不愿！其实，我只是在逃避他。我只是不敢正视他。我怕如果我真的太在乎他的话，回家后的我心里只会更空虚寂寞。结果，回家后的我心里一点都不好过。我发现到-原来我对他来说一点都不重要。他们过后还有去farewell而在后面忙的我完全不知道有这种东西。苦了我带着一颗伤心失望的心情走回家。本以为他会问我为何没去，但那一夜我的电话没响过。我所有的泪水只有往肚里吞。

三天就这样过去了。。。一则sms也没有。。。或许他回到家后忙吧！这是我一直安慰我自己的话。原来，我永远都是透明的。。。永远都是被人忘记的那个。。。难道，我就不是人吗？难道，你们没发现到我的存在吗？难道，我是玻璃做的吗？难道，我就不会伤心吗？

Fitness First

it's been a week now since the day i left fitness first....i sooo sooo sooo miss there....miss everything there....miss every class there....miss every instructor there....super miss the toilet there....super miss the sauna there....miss the steam room there....miss the locker there.....everything and everything....

everytime when i'm free my mind will be fooling around the fitness centre.....this might because i'm having sooo much fun there.....during daytime when i'm super busy and rush for my homework.....all my tired and stress are released when i was there in the centre.....i just do not know why this bring such a big effect.....

today....i'm kindda free.....so....i suddenly soooo soooo sooo miss there.....i even start to refresh that the schedule of the classes today.....d handsome and cool instructor that will having class today....i just.....

in the future, i'll definitely join as member....but not now.....i've got whole pile of works n study waiting for me....i cant....i cannot let myself go there at least during this period of time....i'm addicted to it....more serious than a drug addictor.....

BUSY life.....

HUHUHU....feel like crying....my life had been getting busier and busier.....i soooo cant tahan already!!!!I feel like running away from everything here....i super super tired already....everyday i've to do reports....everyday i'll have to sit in front of my pity laptop and type on it.....this week i have 3 reports (less one report because one lab session was cancelled last week)....and 2 assignment which due on d same day.......and....this after, d lec announced that he postpone the due date of d assignment to monday....so it'll drop down 2 3 reports n 1 assignment....now i only left one assignment (which i have started a word on it) and 1 report (which i almost finish) to do....i cant believe this....

but then this month, i go to FITNESS FIRST to work out.....hahah....at the first week, me and my roomate don't feel like joining the classes....n there's one day we decided to join for the classes....and now.....we are addicted!!!we go to the class 3 days per week....but then only for this month....coz we buy a RM25 voucher trial for the centre, so after this month, my life will get back to normal again.....i've go to Body Balance, Yoga, Body Jam, Body Combat, and Power Yoga.....n i super like Body Balance, Body Jam and Body Combat....i don't like YOGA....it's toooo stretching....and today my triceps feel awful....painful ler....my back and my waist as well....i can feel d over stretching of the muscle.....huhuhu.....but ho i super like Body Balance and Combat....coz i like that instructor soooo much!!!!She's super!!!!When she's in Body Balance....she's soooo smooth and soft.....every movement of hers is soooo soft and gentle....but then in Body Combat....she CHANGE!!!180 degress somemore.....from a soft and gentle person to a super active person whereby she's super active and super full of energy while teaching us all the combat movement!!!i soooooosoooooo like her ler.....this week there wont have her classes because of the instructor training thingy....haiyaya....i'm going to miss her sooo sooo much ler....after next week, i'll never see her again....unless i throw my money to the centre....it's a big budget for me....maybe wait till i work.....it's a big experience for me....at least there's some movement that i remember and i can practice and work out at home.....

hehe.....ok....away from fitness first.....there's one day ho, when i walked down from the bus ho....i bump my head onto the entrance of the bus....there's a big sound 'PONG' like that u know....walao er....me painful till almost pengsan...then ho super embarrased then i quickly jump down from the bus and leave the bus....walao....nasib there's no one i know in the bus....i think d bus driver must be laughing at me...n how....there's other day....when me and my roomate come back from fitness first....we've waited soooo long for the bus to come....then ho....finally it comes....at first the bus was still ok....then.....suddenly....the engine "SWOSH"....gone off.....walao....half way there ler....apu.....then we call our fren come n pick us up....we spend sooo much time on telling our exact location....hahaha.....then got one more day....very early in the morning.....again i got off from d bus....then i suddenly loss my balance....n then....."WHUP"....fell on d floor.....but i have touch d ground yet la....i manage to push myself back to standing position....wahahhaahha.....even myself laughing ler.....apu.....so stupid....heheheh

haha.....finish all my stupid things la!!!

Unresistable Cheesecake!!!!Yummy!!!!

HOHOHO!!!!very beautiful ho.....i can't tahan it ler.....super beautiful and delicious ler.....it's super unresistable!!!!after busy for the whole day, then suddenly i open my mailbox and found that one of my friend send me this super cuttie and delicious picture.....this makes my days brighter!!!!

i'm the kind of person where i'll eat a lot when i'm stress up or having any difficulties....so....all these pictures help a lot!!!!at least i do not have to eat them and i can have the same effect as eating them.....hahaha!!!!!wont get fat somemore.....wont feel full somemore.....but....definitely feel a lot brighter from the inside!!!!hahaha.....so.....hope it do helps....

Back to School

haha...back to school liao lo...this is my second week lo....i'm still in holiday mood...i still don't feel like doing anything yet....but....the reports and assignments keep on coming in....also test as well....it doesn't wait for me....it come only when i'm ready to do my work....like the earth still rotate although there's meteorites striking it....hai....that's life....and one things is that in this sem i found that it's harder than last sem....i heard from a lot of seniors says that it's getting tougher and tougher.....this scares me sooo much....and....i'm havin problem of getting the textbook....that textbook provided by library had been borrowed out since the first day of the school....and also....this is the first time i found that it's necessary for me to have the textbook....hai....i'm so scare to get back to the life back here....which mean i'll be busy.....especially i'm a cell group leader this time....this....challenge me a lot....i don't want to be a cell group leader...coz i know i'm not strong enough to be one....but....i'm forced to....every cell group leader is forced to be a leader....

sometimes i just feel very very disappointed with the fellowship which i'm going now....disappointed with the people there....i cant deny that they do lead the fellowship well....but why don't they think of the problem where they had been facing recently???why does all the new comers don't come to the fellowship frequently???of coz one of the problem is that they are busy with they school works (i also busy with that!!!)...another problem is that they cannt feel warm when they step into the fellowship....they feel that people in the fellowship care for their own....i cant deny that i do not know how to care for those newcomers....but....at least i was there!!!not like our president whereby he only been there once a month, that's when they have the committee meeting....this is ridiculous....i just feel very disappointed with the committee.....i've tell myself and pray to GOD that i definitely wont be the committee of this fellowship....hai....everywhere and anyone disappoints me....man is not made perfect for everything.....if one day i meet one who i feel is perfect, then he'll be my man....

Lazy is a very SERIOUS problem

Lazy is a very serious sickness that i'm not going to be fully recover...well....this illness not only found on me...but a lot of people out there as well (i think!)

Just now i heard from another friend of mine whereby he is like a postman between me and my best friend....he spread her words to me....then it makes me think a lot....why cant she just sms me directly and tell me all d things that she wanna say???why must spread the words to him???u know what answer i get???LAZY!!!!See how's the consequences of the laziness.....they symptoms is that you don't feel like doing anything....and there's nothing in the medical field that can cure this diseases....erm...back to my topic....what i want to say is....why she just cant take out her hp and just send an sms to me instead of i'm who d one who start up everything???it's not the first time....i'm tired of everything....so....to be fair, i didn't send any sms to any other friends there as well....but just now....i still send my sms to her....

i feel that i'm always the one who give out everything....but i didn't receive any....i feel not fair....i feel disappointed....whoever who talk to me will be all about her...well.....i feel like i'm being used....i just soooo sad when i heard that she say she's lazy to send sms....and somemore she's expecting to hear from me?!?!?unbelieveable.....i just cant believe this.....you wont get anything if you don't give it out....i just.....very sad....

Beckham's Tears :'(

The whole world has been shaking after the World Cup quarter final last two days whereby this match had sent both England and Brazil back home. It's was quite unbelievable that both of this team was sent back home this early. Brazil was the potential World Cup winner, but in the end....From the live broadcast of the match, everyone in the England team was sooo sooo sooo depressed and sad...whereby they sit on the ground and cry....Even David Beckham cry as well....they do not expect for all these to happen....Well, all i can say is-Good Luck in your future England and Brazil...

Well, actually i din sleep well yesterday night. I just do not know why i cannot get into sleep. Maybe i was distrupted by one sms which sent from my roomate there in Sunway. She tell me that how the guy (whom i have the special feeling BEFORE) care for the girl (my best friend). This sounds nothing but....i just do not know why....when i saw this sms, there's an angry feeling inside my heart....whereby i start to think that why he always treat others better???Only when he needs me he'll treat me well...i feel like i've been used since we've first know each other. I feel like i've been used to give him every information about her....i remember soooo well that he says to me that "it's because of you, then only i can get along well with her!"....this words had become a deep cut in my heart whereby it haven recovered till now. Sometimes i'm so sure that the special feeling that i have upon him had gone....but sometimes when i see him treat others well i'll feel angry and maybe jealous i should say....i just do not know why i have all these stupid feeling....maybe i'm just too shelfish....i just wish that i do not have to go back and study....i just wish that i can go to other place and study....go to a place where no one knows me....but it was GOD who lead me into Monash University. I've pray that i do not want to stay here and i want to leave all these stupid feeling and go to a new place where i start everything all over again....of coz....watever path that HE had choosen for me, i'll follow. That's why i'm here in Monash University. There must have somethings that GOD wants me to do or want me to complete....although life is difficult, i must follow GOD's path....

~*My 20th Birthday*~Part 2

Haha....as i promise in my previous blog that i want to share about the things that made me sad which had happen on my 20th birthday.

1) Although i receive a whole pile of SMSes from all of my frens, whom include my new cell group member, churchmate, frens and others.....there's one sms that made me feel....disappointed.....that's one of the sms from my best friend....i remember for her birthday.... sing a birthday song for her and send it to her by using voice sms....i plan sooo much for her birthday....i spend sooo much time on her present where i walk almost all of the shopping mall around KL....However, things was soooo different for me....i do not receive any birthday song from her....but i do receive one FORWARDED sms from her....somemore that sms had to be shared with other ppl....this means that...in one sms, there are 2 persons name in it....i'm sooooo depressed....

2) I've never receive a present whereby made me feel sooooo disappointed....i receive an iron chain with a cross on it.....this present doesn't sounds bad rite....(since i'm a christian)....but my point is....it's IRON!!!!the colour is like....it just make me feel sooo disappointed....i just cant believe that someone whom i expect to know me well give me such a things....if someone who know me well will know that he/she shouldn't give me jewellery as a present....i've had more than enough since i was young....i do not need someone to give me an IRON as a gift!!!!i think that....it's rude....it's just....ridiculous!!!!super disappointed.....

3)On my birthday...i do not have chance to spend that day with my best friend....this is because every year...one the 23/6, it was her best friends' bf birthday as well....so she have to celebrate for her best friend....somemore she have to tell me that she's in lagoon wearing beautiful swimsuit playing with her fren happily!!!!well....i know we've only know each other for like....not long....only1-2 years....but....at least, every year on her birthday...i was there!!!why it's my turn n she's not there???i....i know i'm kindda shelfish to think like this...but....i just cant understand....

4) I do not want branded coffee (from starbucks or coffee beans)...i do not want very expensive cake(from breadtalk or starbucks)....i just.....can u just let me feel your sincerity in those present???I know....i do like coffee and cheese cake....but...i just cant feel your heart...your sincerity inside it....it's different....i just feel like it's not a birthday present for me....i just feel like i buy the coffee and the cake myself....it would taste better if i buy it myself!!!

well....it seems like that's all for the things that made me disappointed....i just...maybe it's because i care too much....i...sometimes just give out my heart too much whereby other just giv out the outermost layer of their heart to me....maybe it's because i expect too much from her....so that's why it makes me feel sad....that's not the first time that disappoint me....but....N times....huh....tired....

~*My 20th Birthday*~

huh....see how times fly....thank God that i've been on this earth for 20 years....it's....unbelieveable....i mean....i cant believe that i'm 20 now....i'm telling everyone around that i'm 20 years old this year!!!huh....i still cant believe this....hahhaah.....that's we....human.....we need to grow up....

well...this birthday is the most special birthday that i have.....there are a lot of special things that happen on this day. Let me list it out one by one:

1) 23/6/2006....i'll never forget this date in my whole life....coz....i din sleep since 22/6/2006....it's all because of the stupid ecology final paper that would be held on 830am(althought i've get used to having exam during my birthday time)....this means that on the day when i turn 20, i still have to sit there all ALONE, study the whole lot of notes about my ecology.....and that's the worst subject...i don't think i can pass that paper....coz i've fail my internal....then i've to get real high for that final paper in order for me to pass the whole subject....23/6/2006 from 12am to 10am is the most stressed birthday moment for me.....

2)My best friend, Shin Yee who stay in Negeri Sembilan come down to KL purposely for me...i was soooo touch....all the way down....taking ktm down to KL central to meet me....all by herself....alone.....when i saw her in KL central, i was sooo touched....i just don't know how to express my feeling to her....we've been knowing each other since form 2, which is 8 years ago....i learn a lot of things from her....last time i used to be a bad temper person....but from her i learn to calm myself down...and.....a lot of things.....we went to sungei wang together.....gossiping like i've never done that before....n she buy present for me....a cute purple blouse where i like it very much.....THANK U FREN...I LOVE U!!!MUAKZ....

3)An sms from Australia in the middle of the nite.....that's rite....it's from u-YEE MAN!!!!although i receive a whole pile of sms....with different birthday wishes...but i don't know why, when i saw ur sms i'm soooo touched.....sooo happy....maybe it's because i miss u sooo much....i just miss the way u talk to me....so gentle....u calm me down when i'm angry, listen to me when i'm depressed(but mostly u c me laughing rite???hahahah)....I MISS U!!!!MUAKZ.....

4) As i mentioned on 1 that i din sleep....so that whole day....i mean on 23/6/2006...i'm kindda like blur blur....stupid stupid like that....i seriously just pull myself into the church for the fellowship....coz i'm the cell group leader n that nite is the cell group gatherin nite....so i must be there....it's a tough job for me especially when i'm not in good condition...then ho...after the fellowship ho....i went back home with my housemate....then i cant wait to jump onto my bed to sleep...but ho....i haven took my shower yet...so i took my shower first....the moment that i step out from the toilet....there's suddenly about 20 peoples standing at my house.....which...kindda surprised me....they are all waiting for me!!!!they were there to sing s birthday song for me....hehehe....kindda....shock....but then ho....maybe because i'm too tired....then i din really feel like....happy....i just don't know why....but not to deny that....this is the most....'noisy' birthday for me....(a lot of people)....

5) it's the only birthday that i spend with a guy whose birthday is same as mine....one of our church member as well....one of my senior as well!!!hahahah....n d cutest thing is that he sing another version of birthday song softly(when i was on the phone, whereby he thought that i wasn't listen to him)....that birthday song is.....originally cantonese version (if u watch tvb drama they all sing that version of birthday song)...but then he sing in chinese....hahahah....cute ler!!!!that nite he hide at my house...coz he scare kena kacau by others church member (it's our tradition to have water and flour for anyone's birthday!!!!but not for me this years)haha....

6) the first time that d guy that i mention at 5 invite me out to go shopping together on d day after our birthday.....at first i thought he'll want to go one-U coz he like to go there ma....but ho...he suddenly say go Midvalley...which...shocks me....but then ho....this doesn't matter...the point is....i wanted to ask him to go Midvalley as well!!!weird ho.....is it having same day for the birthday will have same thought as well????heheheh....then ho....force me to choose a present....stupid...i hate people force me to buy things one....at last u know wat i choose???2 sticker n one cute purple bottle....wahahahah.....

7) A love dinner from my housemate....she cook a lot of things to celebrate birthday with me,the guy who had the same birthday as mine, and two other girls whose birthday had just pass and around the corner....although it's just a simple dinner....but...i'm so touched!!!all these means a lot to me than all the present.....

8) A chicken soup mee sua cooked by that guy whom have the same birthday as mine...hehehe....very touched.....as touched as my housemate dinner.....very warm!!!

well...i think that's all....(too long liao!!!)....i'll write for sad things that happen during my birthday in my next blog....

~*SAMSUNI*~

=> this are my new beloved guy la....hehehe....very 'flower' ler me!!!

wow...it's been a long time since my last post....well....it's because of my laziness la...somemore ho my english 'need help'....that's what one of my lecture write on my reports....although i have self-conscious la...but it still hurt...hai....nevermind la....

next week is my final exam n now...what am i doing here?!?!sitting in front of the computer posting my blog, chatting with frens and surfing the net for some pictures???OH NO.....if my family knows this they will definitely kill me....well...that's me....i know the seriousness of the final exam....whereby i've put sooo much effort to get into Monash....so i have to try my best.....that's what my sister tell me....and i know that for sure...but then....i'm not those top student whereby they are getting super stress up during the exam period....it doesn't mean that i don't have stress....it's just....i don't like to get myself into sooo much stress....when you are stress, u tend to think more u know....somemore one the negative side ler......i hate that....i don't want my life to cover with negative thinking....

last week i watch a korean drama...called...我叫金三顺...i super like that drama....i watch it again n again.....the point is....the guy inside is superb man!!!u'll have to watch that if u haven....this drama doesn't inspire me much....all i get is that....a not so pretty women can get her true love as well....which mean....i can also la!!!hahaha....my true love???wont have that....at least for my current situation....it's easy to like someone but hard to love someone....haha...don't want to talk more about my love sight la....all i can say is that i'm stupid....although there's no right or wrong in love....

gambateh la....

very cute ho these article....although it din says a lot of words....but....it's sooo meaningful....and my point is.....that's me!!!!i feel like i'm the one who wrote this article...it's sooo.....i just don't know why....i'm soooo touch....i feel like i'm the author to this article....hai....that's life....someone can just find they beloved partner just like that....someone just miss their beloved partner in their whole life....someone caomplaint for their beloved partner....someone do not dare to tell their beloved partner their feeling....someone who had face sooo much trouble just to get together.....someone care too much for the others and bring disaster....someone do not care whether to get a partner for their life....someone.....there's too much hypothesis that can be make.....how i wish everything can be simple....and easy.....GOD create man with all these emotion because HE had all these as well....therefore, we should be happy that we have the image of GOD.....if everything is easy and simple, we won't appreciate whatever is given.....we won't appreciate our relationship.....

if u already have ur beloved partner, it's GOD's gift.....thank GOD for that....if u haven find one (like me)....pray more to GOD so that HE will show u who is the one that he choose for u....

A cute article that fits me sooooo much!!!!

Well, it's kindda small for u to see the font....erm....that's the largest that i can post....if u really want to know it, save it to your devices n magnify it....

Everytime i read this article, it touch my heart soooo much....i'm exactly the person that was mentioned in the article.....at first i thought that i'm recovering from this situation.....but....in real life, i cant.....whenever i see him, i feel that i must talk to him.....whenever i din talk to him, i'll have a sleepless night....then i'll start to imagine that i'm talking to him as usual n play with him.....sometimes i feel that, it's tough....to talk to him....coz i can feel that it was him who don't want to talk to me....sometimes he just show his 'black' face to me.....(actually not to me, but the whole nation) then.....it doesn't mean that i'm affraid of him whenever he show his face like that, but it's....his attitude....he wont answer your question if he feel uneccessary....However, there will be a totally diverse situation whereby he has a very good mood....he'll talk to everyone out there.....and play with everyone....i'm kindda tired of this....

Me also feels that i'm being 'used' everytime....coz he have some 'extraordinary' feel to my best fren so during her birthday period, he'll be very fren with me....treat me soooo different....like....i don't dare to say the word.....i know we are impossible...but.....i just need more time to recover from all this foolishness.....

好贴切哦！！！

第一名：巨蟹男與巨蟹女
巨蟹男與巨蟹女兩個人的感覺，是一切盡在不言中！譬如：你燉一鍋湯，他就會掉眼淚；你打一件毛衣，他就會天天穿，就是兩個人是非常溫和！巨蟹座的男生其實有一點女人性，比較會碎碎唸，一般人會覺得這種男的很孬種，不夠 MAN，可是巨蟹座的女生會覺得其實蠻好的！而且他們溝通的方式一點都不理性，都是用感性溝通，就是巨蟹座的男生跟女生本來要討論買房子這件事，然後巨蟹女說想買在海邊，巨蟹座男就會說好我們就買在海邊。

以上是最速配的星座里得冠军宝座的。真的把我形容到很贴切。。。而在我认识的巨蟹男也正是这洋的。。。但我和他是不可能的。。。一只手掌是拍不响的，所以还是把那只手收藏起来。。。埋藏在看不见的地方。。。宁愿自己受上辛苦，也不愿牵扯到他人。。。

Pack everyday....

my life here is still pack everyday....everyday pack with a lot of things to do....a lot of assignment....a lot of reports....a lot of test....a lot of.....problems as well....but Thank GOD sooo much that whenever i'm having trouble, HE is always by my side....HE is always the one who was there to help me....HE was the only one who listen to my grumbling....HE is the only one who tolerate with my childishness....GOD.....THANK YOU.....All the glories be to you.....

let me update a little bout myself....well, i'm still alive!!!but was 'break down'....i got flu....it's been a long time that i din get into sick....and finally, i'm sick!!!....wahaha.....wat am i talking about....ppl will die of sick but i'm happy with sick....hehehe....sometimes i feel that, when someone get into sick, he/she will have more attention on them.....so....does that means that i have more attention on myself as well????wahahah.....no la....u thought me that fortunate meh!!!i'm what they call "ku ming ren"....only if i die then i'll get the attention....hehehe....but then what for o, have so many attention on yourself???then you'll b lack of private time rite????hai....dun understand....

although i'm pack with assignments and reports, but i'm still ok...i mean mentally!!!i feel like i'm getting myself back....maybe because there are some problem that i have solve...it release all my burden....so....heheheh

I'm shelfish

well....sometimes i don't know how others think....i always act watever i feel to....i don't think before act.....n now cause others to suffer....i'm stupid and shelfish....

i don't want to get involve in all these things.....i wanna quit everything....back to myself....back to where i'm suppose to be...back to......

i'm tired.....

Safely back from the Jungle!!!

Thank GOD for listening to my prayer....Thank GOD for taking care and leading me when i was in the field trip....the trip was fortunately not as bad as i've expected earlier.....but....it's physically exhausting....we're all in the mangrove....every1 are muddy, their leg was trapped in the mud where need to pull it out....and there's millions of mosquito inside the jungle....those mosquitoes are all.....mutated one ler...they don't really afraid for the mosquito repellent....somemore.....they place that it "park" was still iching after three days.....damn scary....i soooooo scare of being bite by mosquito....but then....this is the first time for me to experience leeches....i've got one in my shoes when i was out from the jungle....and of coz it was sucking my blood....when i take it off from my leg, the place where the leech "rest" was bleeding like hell.....the blood will only stop after 2 hours....walao....it's.....supreme....no words can used to describe....

but then....when i was trap in the mud....i thought of a lot of things.....a lot of things that i suddenly realise.....whenever we're trap in a tough situation, the only people that can help us is only ourself....although others can give us a hand....but we still need to help ourself to reach the hand....and....i've think of a lot of things....

FIELD TRIP FEAR

it's been a totally nightmare for me to take Ecology as my elective subject....we all must go to the field trip...where we have to get into the jungle to get the samples of the plants....or to see the species of the plant...it's getting into the jungle ler....well...i'm not that....GIRL....that i dun want to get myself dirty or what....but the point is....there's no one that i know in the trip....it's been a totally new school and new environment for me....the life here is always busy with assignment, reports and test....i don't even have time to know anyone from my class.....i'll be totally lonely in the trip....but then Thank GOD that there's 1 or 2 ppl that i know(not that fren)....they are my churchmate....but then....i still feel lonely.....

i feel sooooooo regret since the day that i choose Ecology as my elective subject....if i know there's whole lot's of this trip, i definitely wont choose this subject.....i soooooo regret that i din listen to that person who tells me not to take Ecology....although he suggest me to take business statistic....(it's business subject....where i don't like)....but now i'm totally regret....if i mumble all these things with him, he'll definitely scold me instead of comforting me.....coz it's all my fault and my stupidness......i would rather die in front of assignment, reports or test....than going to the trip with no one i know....that's horrible.....but....what can i do now????there's no way of turning back....but to try my best.....May God leads my way.....

TIRED.....and....STRESS

it's a really tought life here in Monash University....there are a lot of things to be done.....a lot of works o do....a lot of tests....everything is stress.....i feel like quitting everything....just get back to my hometown...to live for a simple life....everyday stress and tired like this....not only mentally but physically as well....how long can i stand!!!!

May GOD help me.....

Importance of Sleeping

well.....sleep is really important lerr...normally we'll have to sleep for about 8 hours a days....but then sometimes we'd rather cut out the sleeping time to do other things such as for our homework or work or even have fun....as for me....i need to sleep for about 10-12 hours a days....of coz this include my afternoon nap....if i sleep lesser than that, i'll feel like there's something that i haven complete for that whole day....

like last week....i do not have enough sleep for a few days....then on the Monday, i was pluggin my thumbdriv to the computer and get ready to do my online assignment....then i don't know why i click 'delete' for the whole folder of the subject that i have to pass up.....then when the computer was deleting the content of the thumbdriv...i suddenly like....wake up....then....i cancel the delete....thank GOD that the assignment that i safe haven been deleted yet....wow....scares me till die ler....then only i knew that i do not have enought sleep than i'm kindda like the nervous system in my brand had malfunction....huh....scary.....

that's y i like to sleep....of coz that's the fastest was of passing the time....but then...it's benefit to our health as well....so please....don't feel that sleeping is not important....the problem that i had is kindda minor....i cant imagine for the more serious situation happening.....

LEEHOM I....LOVE....YOU!!!!!

wahaha.....that heading will make u feel that i'm crazy rite????well.....if u think i'm crazy then i am.....but then.....i also don't know why i sooooo like him.......just last week i went to his autograph session in sunway lagoon surf beach.....it was raining real heavily u know....but then.....the rain.....stop.....by the time LEEHOM presence on the stage......i think LEEHOM must have pray for his journey.....i sooooo like him.....he's....superb.....Thank GOD for creating Leehom that he become others model of life.....

let me show u some pic of his autograph session throughout malaysia....

handsome lerr.....that's my LEEHOM....

i cant tell why i like or LOVE LEEHOM sooo much....whenever i'm depressed, sad or alone....i'll look at all his pic, cd or mtv and stuff like that....then i'll feel much better.....i just don't know why....therefore, i can understand that girl who lost her memory but only remember LEEHOM....if i'm that girl, i'll remember LEEHOM as well.....

I'm depressed

i feel sooo sooo depress today...i just don't know why....maybe because i did not have enough sleep and maybe because there are a lot of things happen on me these few days....make me feels fussy and depressed.....so...i'm kindda like....easy to get hurt if people just mention something that make me feel very sensitive and sad.....but then it's mostly because of my stupidness....i always thought that i'm stupid....however...in the reality...i'm a fool....which is more serious than stupid....i just feel sad....all i want to do now is to sleep....sleep and sleep.....i'll kill anyone who wake me up.....wanna go back home.....in bintulu.....i won't be able to go back this april which i had a semester break....coz my grandma them wanna over here and play....shopping....it's kindda great also...but then....i just wanna skip all my life here for a while and get back to the life that i used to have in Bintulu.....i sooo miss Bintulu......i wont have all the things to think of....i wont have all the stupid people of stupid thingy to see and buy....i wont have some people that i don't wanna see.....i......just.....depressed....

Long time no c....

YOYO....it's been a long time since my last post....well...it's because that i'm too lazy for that....everytime i log in to blogspot i don't feel like posting a blog....coz sometimes it makes me feel that i do not have any privacy if i post every of my opinion here....maybe there's something that i don't want to share....you can say i'm shelfish or whatever you wanna say about me...i just feel that sometimes not all things have to tell.....i sooooo prefer to keep everything deep down inside my heart....and let time help me to digest it.....however, if it's a happy thing i wont mind to share...of coz....

well....my uni life has started....and...i sometimes feel that i'm back to SAM....coz everyweek there'll have reports to complete....everyweek will have homework to do...everyweek will have different things to do....presentations and stuff like that....it's sooo much like the life i had in SAM.....but it's just in a different place....which i still cant get use to....let time help me....

well...the one that i loved soooo much will be coming on this sunday....i cant wait to meet him......i can see him once a year only.....know who i'm talking about????that's my dear leehom!!!!!wahahaha....last week i even go to sg wang n queue to change for the free admission ticket to the autograph session....hahhhaah......

Uncivilize place

As usual i take the bus to school today....by the time i walk up to the bus, i heard the bus driver quarrel with the indian taxi guy outside his car because the bus had block the taxi driver's way.....and of course the bus driver was soooo mad and keep on yelling all the real HARSH word....hai....what's that for lerr.....well this was normal....and then by the time the bus was driving, there was one motorist used his hand to bang on the bus....then we in the bus can heard a real loud bang which made us thought that the bus hit something....but then it was another indian guy who wanna quarrel with the taxi driver again....i think it might probably is because the bus driver overtake the motorist or stuff like that....but THANK GOD the bus driver don't stop the bus and quarrel with that motorist...if not...i cant imagine the situation that will happen....that's....REDDICULOUS!!!!

Well, there's a lot of these kind of things happen all around Malaysia...sometimes i just cant understand why these people like to quarrel that much....it's because of FACE????or is it because there's someone put harsh word on you then you must give him/her a harsh word back???i just cant understand!!!!

Why just Malaysian cant be more civilize???Like those Singaporean.....they are sooo kind and sooo polite....at least they don't quarrel on the street like that....the different people with different culture there live together without any quarrel.....why there's always these thingy happen in malaysia????i just couldn't understand....

Shouldn't comment much on these....but....just feel disappointed with the people outside there....but of course there are real nice person out there as well....it's just we always see the bad one....

How i wish i'm in Taylors College....

It's been my last day of my orientation week which i'm not supposed to be at sch.....but then....i'm in computer lab now.....it's all because of my stupidness.....the system here in this school are all online....which mean i've to choose all the subjects and electives that i wanna take....all of these things are done online....and....it sounds sooooo high tech and very convenient for us rite....well....by the time u click into the webpage....there's thousands of different things in there....and....my point is.....i don't understand a word in the page that we are supposed to be....and i cant find the place where we should chooose all our units and stuff like that.....stupid la.....i mean....me...i'm the one who stupid...yesterday the dunno who standing up there briefing about how to do all the things...and i was seriously concentrating to what he says ler (which i normally will be sleeping down there)....but then....when he ask for the hands who haven done all the things...there's only my hand in the air!!!!(actually still got a few more person la)SEE....how stupid i am....this probably because i'm in a new school....everything is new here....their system....the environment...the people....everything new....I HATE THAT!!!!That's what i hate about being into a new environment....all the things have start from the beginning again....and....social life in the school campus....this is the most horrible things....hai.....somemore i got a whole lot more things to settle down here....fussy everyday....i dont feel like i'm making the right choice to get into this schoool.....but....due to my current financial problem...what can i do????everything i have to swallow into my stomach....let my multi-purpose stomach to digest it.....

Life in Bintulu (my hometown) is much more simpler.....everything is simple...all i have to worry is that did Jocelyn feel well today????Did she drink her milk???Did she sleep well???and....fill my empty stomach when there's drumming sound inside....that's all.....and...and.....go to church....i feel like sitting in the empty church right now....to calm every part of me in front of the cross....to confess all my sin.....to pray.....just probably stare at the cross for a minute will make me feel joyful....i'm lost everyday and everywhere.....i don't dare to tell my mum all about these....i scared that she'll start to worry for me since she got a lot of things to worry at home....and i don't feel like talking to anyone else these days....but.....cant.....everything have to be swallowed down....if not.....ppl will think that i don't like to be here or other bad things that they are going to say about me which i dont wished to mention it here.....

My Dear Father God, i'm soooo thankful that You leaded my path....no matter where am i, i know that You are always there by my side....whenever i cry, You'll be the only one who can comfort me.....Thankyou GOD for always being my spiritual advisor.....Thankyou God for everything that You have done to me....Please....again....help me!!!Tell me what i should do now....In Jesus Name I Pray....AMEN

A post created in Monash University

yoyo....i'm in Monash lerr....hahaha....cant believe that i'm in here....finally....after all the prayers, worries, frustration and a lot of things....i've finally in Monash University....well....it's a new environment for me....so....i've to search for the place i wanna go everytime...and i'm always lost....hahaha...well this year don't have Yee Man with me...so i've to find everything out myself...like last time she'll tell ma whatever happen the next day and whatever things that i have to do and wherever the class is....now....there's no one i know who take the same course same semester with me....all i see are new faces....hey guys....Monash got a lot of leng lui ler....serious o!!!!at least i think they are kindda pretty la....

this week is my orientation week....so....everyday will be start with a briefing....introduction of the campus and stuff like that....today is the second day of orientation.....and i'm now in computer lab......ie i din go for the orientation today.....but i was WARN by my frens housemate to attend the english test tomorrow and also the briefing on the day after tomorrow.....hai.....what a boring uni life without people i know....but then i feel sooo much pleasure and joyful to get into this uni...coz this is the uni that i've wanted to get in.....and finally i'm holding my ID with me!!!wahahaha...thank God for that....

my days here in sunway are still normal....nothing much change.....except that i've change a new environment....a new place to stay....i rent a room from my church fren here...so...at least i got housemate that i've known....the only thing is that i have to buy the mattress and the furniture....so i'll going to buy that later.....there's of coz something i kindda worry.....i heard a lot of ppl (from my church frens) say that a lot of frens whom we see very close together.....are separated....once they live together....i know a lot of this things....but.....what can i do????just mine my own business....my mum soooo worry about the place where i'm staying now....she keep on asking me whether i sleep well the night before o not....and keep on reminding me to lock my door since there's guys in the house (my housemate's bf,we knew each other as well)....the rest....nothing much different....o ya....i miss Success aunty's rice....i'm going back there eat later i think.....wanna give a surprise to her...wahahah....coz i found that i haven figure our where's the cafeteria here....and i don't like cafeteria food.....but i heard them say that the food in cafeteria here is kindda nice....so...maybe i'll have to try that out one day....

whenever i'm alone here, my mind will have a lot of people flash back in my mind.....of coz....guys....and girls.....some frens that i'll never meet again when i'm here.....some frens that i leave in my hometown, Bintulu....but then....i should thank God that i still have all those churchmate i know here in Subang church....so.....jia you la.....

Back to School......

Well....it's been a long time since my last day at school....(it's not that long though,3 months only!!!)and now....i'll be going back to school this monday.....believe it!!!!yeah....last few months my life was soooooo threatened by this school thingy.....coz after my 1st yr of food tech in Taylors College i do not know where i will be this yr....well...u might want to ask me why i dont want to continue my food tech study,rite???It's not that i didn't get good result than been 'sack' by school!!!!it's....i dont want to twin to Australia....so i keep on searching for the school that provide 3+0 Bio-medic programme or Bio-tech programme.....finally.....i've found Monash Msia and AIMST(Asian Institute of Medicine, Sience and Technology) in Kedah....Thank God for that....He always listen to my prayer....no matter where i am....what i do....Thank God....I Love you....Thank you for Loving me First!!!!Hallelujah....

Now get back to my topic....i've been suffering for the whole yr.....mentally suffering....coz i do not have the confident in myself....to get in to Monash....then i pray to GOD....told HIM to guide me....only HE knows where is the right place to put me in.....well...it sounds normal for those who just wanna apply and get into a uni....maybe it's just a piece of cake for u....but for me....i've been rejected twice by Monash....that's why i take the food tech course in Taylors College....after being rejected twice.....do u still have the confident that the school will consider your application again???i don't think so.....at least i dont have that confident again....but then....miracle sometimes do happen....but only with GOD's leading....now...i'm a student of Monash University Msia!!!!which mean that....my school life will start again!!!!everything will rotate again....

there's soooo much sadness in my heart now....coz....i'll have to leave my home for about 3 months like that(hopefully)....and of coz all my dear church mate....cell group member....and the most important is my dear JOCELYN....i don't know whether when i get back here will she ever knew me again....sad....i'll feel sad whenever i think that i'll have to suffer from some....something that i dont want to mention it here....just.....a lot of things to suffer....but....hey....i've to praise GOD for letting me to go into Monash....so i should be proud of that....well...after thinking of that...it make me feel more relieve...coz i know...GOD IS JUST BY MY SIDE!!!

It's Valentine.....

Yoyo....it's Valentine today...i think u guys out there must be very busy and very romantic rite???hahaha....as for me....i'm just normal....nothing special for me on this days ever since i was born.....but then i was questioned by a lot of people for asking me whether to buy or will be receiving anything from someone special on this kind of day....hahaha....do i look like i'm not available????strange ne.....well....what i'm going to share now do not have a word that are connected with Valentine.....

Well, i just came back from the summer camp organised by our church youth fellowhip....hohoho...it's great....perfect i should say....real fun...but tiring.....the muscle from my whole body was overstretch ie pain....it's been two days now since the camp and now only my muscle are recovering.....it's was full of excitement for the camp and of coz we learn GOD's words together....but then.....honestly...i think that....i don't feel enough for the sermon and message.....i think that most of our time we are playing....jungle trekking.....resting....and stuff like that.....but overall....it's the most craziest camp i've ever been to....we even got disco party on the last nite ler....hohoho.....let me show u guys some pic.....cant wait to upload it....

i) that the pic taken when we were jungle trekking...i dont know how i get into the pic....
ii) this pic is....so unreal...but....believe it!!!
iii) the "Big Family"
iv) i like this pic very much.....coz there's someone i like in it.....
v) he is in there as well!!!
vi) get prepare for jungle trekking!!!!we all go with our slippers.....

Answer for Love and Like

Very cute ho this cartoon and wording....but then i found that this thingy soooo suit me....it speaks out all the feeling from the bottom of my heart...
<= this one say: in the story of Cinderella, she had the support from the angel.....but when i'm sad, only i can support myself....

<= this one say : Like is a slightly LOVE, but Love is a deeply LIKE!!!

Ang Pao!!!!红包！！！

It's Chinese New Year yo!!!I think u guys out there must have got a lot a lot of ang pao ho....well getting ang pao is real great....but as for me...i think it in a different way....i feel like....during Chinese New Year time we all go to visit all our friends and relative houses....then those who haven get married....will receive an ang pao from those who had married....this year i had a kindda dark and dull emotion....then i started to think everything negatively....i feel like go visiting to someone house during this particular time is only just for Ang Pao.....it's like we go to visiting the friends house is not because we want to VISIT them...but to 'beg' i should say...for an ang pao......then when we had get what we want...then...we'll leave the house and search for our next 'victim'.....although i know that the word that i used is kindda rude....but then that's what i think......that's why this year my ang pao are only from relatives.....i haven gone to any one of my frens houses....or maybe it's because that i cant join them......i always got a lot of things popping out suddenly.....so i cant plan anything with my fren and stuff like that....when i plan something...then i'll be the one who cancel the plan...it's always because of me....i just don't know why.....less of freedom?????i don't think so....it's just i CARE too much for my family.....when only one people get angry in my house, i wont feel like going anywhere or talking to anyone....i just CARE too much.....i heard a lot of my frens here say that i've change a lot since i've come back from study (for holiday)....well....i cant explain anything about it....and i don't have to.....it's my business...and it's your business to comment...i cant stop that!!!!Anyway.....may i have a nice and smooth DOGGY year......