How to survive???

This was the question which i had been asking again and again. Until now i still cant find any answer that can be fitted into this question. Days had been getting tougher and tougher, life had been getting more complicated. I wonder how many times this had already been for me to blame myself to be stupid, naive and everything bad that i could think of. It's not that i want to, but...that's me!!! I had no idea how to change it!!! I have to admit that i'm not smart, i'm not clever, i'm not hardworking, i'm not good at anything, i'm not caring, i'm not good at talking, i'm not girl enough....i'm just good at nothing!!! I had been trying so hard to get at least smarter, trying to learn as much as i can but the results was still the same, i'm trying to act like it wasn't me but i just cant fake it!!!

23 years of my life, i had found nothing useful in me. Since the day i'm conscious, i had been questioning myself - why should i do this? Why should i do that? Since i'm not good at them, then why am i still doing it? It's just...there's just always something stuck inside my throat that i cant swallow or digest or take it out! If i do take it out, i'll have to face the consequences all by myself; if i digest and swallow it, i'll be blamed and keep hurting myself and suffer from the pain that only i could feel it.

It's very pathetic in the sense that, human beings like to listen to nice words while they isn't true; human beings like to see your reaction which is what they hope to see. Why cant we just hide all the true feelings? Or why is it so difficult to just shout out the true feelings? Though, i admit, true words are always hard to digest and sometimes will make me feel bad, but...that's the truth! Just give me some times to digest it, or maybe you just tell me directly what you expect me to do but not pretend that you're ok with everything then criticise me from the behind.

Today, i just heard too much of the truth which had been buried down under for ... God's know how long had it been. Though it makes me weap for a while, i still had to accept it. This is the life that Adam and Eve have left us. We'll have to suffer before we can see HIM in the heaven. All i can do now is, change my rational in order to survive now...throw away my pride, live as a cinderella...shut the vision on dreams that are unreachable...Can i do that??? Oh GOD....just let me had one minute to .... express it!!!

兴奋...开心...期待！！！

昨夜被一个刚认识的朋友在msn敲了一下，为的就是要跟我说看见力宏演唱会的报道了！今天的报章应该登了好大一个版面了吧（本人没有买报子的习惯所以不了），但网路新闻是看到了！所以，今早崇拜完毕后，到麦当劳叫了一份我最爱的早餐后，就迫不及待的打电话通知我妈！我第一句还问她‘你有没有看到今天的报子？’我妈好好笑哦，她还以为有什么世界大新闻。结果听到我说是王力宏演唱会时就‘切！’了一声，她还说‘原来这个事你的大新闻啊！’靠！当然啦！这对我来说是天大的新闻也！等礼拜五我回去再和我妈洽谈详情，哈哈哈！我妈好象我的经纪人哦！现在的我就是整个超兴奋超high的！但，我只能选一样，就是说：我去看演唱会了，就不能去签唱会了！没关系，我忍！反正上一次我们都讲说看到有点没感觉了。所以，要往更‘高难度’挑战。哈哈哈！！！

今天的我，真的心情爆好的！女人就是有个死穴，心情好就会想逛街，心情不好也会想逛街；不管心情好还是不好，只要买到了喜欢或大减价的东西，心情再怎样不好也会立刻变好！今天的我，不只是因为逛街买了减价的东西而开心，主要还是因为我很快又要在见到力宏了！！！他最新大专辑：心跳，我已经当被功课一样听了上百甚至上千遍了！（我是说真的哦！一点都没有夸张哦！）哈哈！！！

反正我现在心情就是爆好的！连对我那些表弟都特别温柔的，哇哈哈哈！

心跳

‘心跳’是王力宏08年全新创作大蝶，当然只有王力宏能够把我心里冷冻已久的心跳再一次让它活跃起来。好久好久都没有这种感觉了！自从我一个人独自来都这个陌生的城市上班，一直到现在。原来，我还真是有这么大的能耐呀！

每当我看见力宏的访谈节目、生活录影带、音乐录影带、记者招待会... 一切的一切，就只为了向全世界宣传他的创作。看见他在录影室里不断的混音、不断的repeat他的杰作、不断的改、不断的 ... 这些就是他的坚持。看见他那积极的态度，坐在电脑面前欣赏着他那张10年不变的脸，自己开始问自己：我呢？我到底做了什么？我到底对什么事情曾经也像力宏一样这么的坚持呢？好像没有也，自己都觉得心虚起来。

我为什么会喜欢王力宏？这个问题，就好像：‘你为什么会爱上这个人？’是一样的。爱一个人是不需要任何理由的！不知不觉，我喜欢王力宏已经有11年了！不可思议吧！我才几岁的人啊，但事实就是如此。当然，无可否认，王力宏那张脸真的是比漫画人物帅！见到他本人时，我一定会重复地问我自己一个问题：我在做梦吗？怎么可能这世上可以有这么完美、这么帅的人存在啊？通常有亮丽外表的人一定给人一种只有外壳没有内涵的人，这种解说完全不能用在力宏身上。音乐人的专长就是把他们所有的思想都注射在音乐里面，王力宏就是这样。他的歌就像会跟你说话一样！就拿这账专辑来举例，80%的人一定都会说第一波主打歌‘心跳’超赞的！我不是说这首歌不好听，但我喜欢的是‘摇滚怎么了’。我也不是想喜欢一些特别的，但我就是喜欢力宏在这首歌里面所有的配乐。这张专辑我好喜欢力宏的吉他，不管是他的巴哈姆特、木吉他、string吉他 ... 我都喜欢！这张专辑，我大概重复听了，没有50遍也有49遍！越听就会越明白力宏想表达的是什么。

所以，我会不惜任何的代价，出席他的演唱会！爸爸妈妈，让我去！！！拜托！！！

SALESPERSON + INSURANCE PPL = LIER

Ever since i knew what salespersons are and what insurance are, i started to dislike and ignore this type of people. Now that i had been working and it is one of my job to deal with these people, somemore my job is graded as 'high risk' which means that i had the potential to get an accident while doing my job.

In my point of view, salesperson are trained to tell lied. Though minority of their information are facts, majority of the statement given by them are not the truth. As for those insurance representatives, once they came in to introduce their 'superb' plan, i'll start questioning inside my heart - You sounds like you are cursing me to get any accident or illness then only i can enjoy all the benefits. Or i put it in a more simple way - You Want Me to get into an accident or going to see our Father God asap just for the benefits?!?! Do i sounds ridiculous??? That's what i personally feel about what those people are trying to tell me!!! (Sorry if i've offended anyone's or anyone's relative or parents)

The Bible tells us not to tell lies, but see what am i doing here??? Because of all these people, i been forced to tell lies just to protect myself. OH MY... GOD please forgive me about that, i knew YOU would understand all these.

感情永远的阴天

昨晚看了珠光宝气，看见Constance和Terence最后还是离婚收场。虽然这部剧我只追到一半，不晓得为什么看见这一对还是离婚收场，就觉得好灰哦（我是指感情的部分）！这个Terence好胜心是很强，但他有一个很重要的因素令到他失败的，就是他的骄傲。他总觉得钱是可以解决一切的问题的，而没想到就因为他这样而伤害了他最爱的女人。咳。。。

说真的，Terence在剧里的领导能力其它什么都好，唯独骄傲这一点害了他。在我们穷人的观念里面，有钱人一定是‘大噻’‘唛都得’。是！有钱是‘大噻’，但有钱人还是人啊！你过的日子还不是和我们穷人过的一样，奇怪！当然，也有少数（是极度少数）的有钱人不是像这部剧里的有钱人一样，他们不会有身段、不会有骄傲、很谦虚、很慷慨（不是表面的而是出于真心的）。像我们家就很幸运会遇到这样的有钱人。

这部剧其实会让我追下去当然是因为陈豪啦！一开始当然就觉得‘哇，他好骄傲哦！’当然啦，人家有本钱骄傲啊！然后开始慢慢入戏，慢慢发现他的好，但是到现在就会开始对他灰心。我还曾经入戏到跟天父祷告说：希望我以后的另一半像Terence这样-你但有他的长相，还要有他的才华、办事能力等等。现在的我，突然觉得有点后悔当初我这么冲动就做了这样的祷告，但我相信我们的天父知道什么最适合我这种脾气不好、对人缺乏安全感、孤闭的女人。如果天父安排一个像Terence一样的男人做我总生伴侣的话，我一定顺服，因为我相信神有他的旨意在里面。

2009年生肖运势说我们属虎的人今年会谈恋爱，说真的我还蛮期待的也。一直以来觉得好像就是他了，但每当我接到他的的电话（虽然只有两次），和他聊了一小时完全没有重点的对话；满心期待的我隔这么久、这么难得跟他见面，他却给我那种‘我是被逼的’那种感觉出来…...这些种种种种的小细节，或许没人知道，但我就是有一点职业病的，我们这一行所有小小细细的东西都必须要观察到，对人也是一样。农历新年过了，也让我有新的思想。谈恋爱这种东西，我是100%期待，但是我一定会增大眼睛看清楚对方是个怎样的人，才决定是不是我可以托付终身的那一位。当然，这一切没有主的帮助是不可能的。

男人女人

我们女人的往往会觉得10个男人里面9个都是爱面子的，而在男人的眼中女人往往都是小气爱撒娇的。到底谁对谁错呢？只有我们的创造者知道。

我是女人，所以也只能发表我个人-也就是女人的意见。一般来说，女人一定是比较难从情伤恢复的那个。但在我23年的生涯里面，我就遇到两个男人是花了好一段时间从情伤恢复，甚至是被伤得比女人还重的那种。这两个男人，一个跟我有很浓的血缘关系，另一个是曾经和我同住一个屋檐下的（不要乱想！！！我不是甩他的那个）。其实我没有很了解他们，但这两个人还真的是蛮令我对他们刮目相看的。在我的观念里面，男生一定不会为情所困，甚至不会被情所伤。这两个男生，不只为情所困，还被情所伤而且还是伤得很重的那种。这种现象我还以为只有女人才会有，原来这世上还有这种好男人啊！！！这两个男生，我真的很替他们可惜。虽然，无可否认，这两个男人唯一的共同点就是--他们的脾气都一样坏。我们女生应该最不能容忍的就是自己爱的男人脾气这么差的吧！或许谈恋爱的时候不会对你显现出他们真正的那一面，但事实是不能改变的。脾气不好就是脾气不好，DNA就是DNA，除非你想办法让他们的DNA mutate吧！不可能嘛！

不知道为什么，在这佳节期间遇到这种男人，突然感触良多。突然觉得，现在的世界好像女人比较挑也。应该是说，现在这个社会太败坏了，导致每个人都很自然的有自我保护的心态。现在你要我像以前一样敞开心胸和身边的人做朋友，我一定会跟你说：干嘛？？？但我从小到大就是这种人，我这种可以简称－孤庇，好听一点就是－自闭。和我认识就的人如果好一段时间没见到我一定会认为我变了，但其实我只是在默默的观察看这么久不见的你还是不是我从前认识的那个。

现在的我很用力的提醒我自己，如果要进入一段感情一定要想情楚。一旦我进入一段感情，我希望是永久的。我的心脏应该受不了那种分手的刺激吧！老实说，我幼小的心灵还真的是有情伤的伤疤也。哈哈～～～

What's going on???

What is going on with this earth??? What is going on with my family??? What is going on with the air??? What is going on with all the virus??? Are they mutated??? Are they genetically modified??? Are they the leftover of the aliens so that they can attack human and prtect the earth??? What is that exactly going on???

Someone please answer me!!! I believe that even GOD don't have the answer to that. I'm not cursing anyone or blaming anyone (or GOD) for what's happening with all of my beloved ones around me, i'm just....loosing direction. I feel useless... I had no idea what i can do in this far far away land. I so regret that i take this job that i need to leave home forever....I so regret that I leave the home behind without anyone cleaning it and that's the main problem that what is happening now. I feel like wanted to take the flight back now to make my home stay at least free of any bacteria or viruses or fungi or anything that i cant see with my eyes....Just for at least a week....This is the first time ever in my life that i feel begging with those creatures that i couldn't see with my naked eyes, i feel wanted to shout to them, telling them leave all my family alone. Just stop attacking them like the Palestinean. I'd rather all of you just came to me. Please....

Please....anyone....anything....just give me some guidance....GOD!!! I know i shouldn't be shouting at you while i had already standing at the end of the cliff, but i just loosing my direction. I had no idea what i could do now. Everything is beyond humans power, everything is onto you now my Lord. Please....this will be my last shout to You....Please....show me the way....tell me what should i do....guide me.....You are the light of my foot, the light of my pathway....Please....

Leave Me Alone!!!

至从那天在商场遇到我认识的人后，这样的时间陆陆续续的出现。今天，就和平时一样，到教堂去报到。怎知，这个古晋说大还真是不大，说它小又不对，偏偏我就是会遇见我认识的人。在这里能够遇见我认识的人，那个percentage真的是少之又少。我遇到的这个人，虽然她是很好的一个人，我就是不能把她列入‘朋友’的名单里面。我曾经很懊恼为什么我会这样，其实就只有一个原因：水和火是永远不能溶合在一起的。不是说我和她有什么深仇大恨，又或则是她曾经得罪我或我做了亏欠她的事，我和她就是那种怎样都不可能变成朋友的人。我们俩只会见到面嘘寒问暖几句然后就走人的那种。不晓得多久之前我曾经和一个知己分享过这件事，在和她分享的当儿我才发现问题的存在。原来，一直以来我和这个人不能变朋友（就是那种聊得来的）的原因，其实很简单。因为这个人是个超级世界无敌的Top Student。不只是读书厉害，她所作的每件事出来的结果都是完美的，人际关系更是超级世界无敌的广。要我跟这种人打交道简直就是要了我的命一样，因为我是个自卑的人。在这种人的面前我很难会台得起头，在这种人的身边我只会拚了命的缩进我的壳。我会觉得，站在这种人的身边全世界肯定会拿我跟她来比较一样。

咳。。。没用的我呀！今天主日崇拜一完，我就还赶什么一样，立刻走人。虽然我知道，我不可能可以躲一世，但至少让我准备好自己，让我的心思意念都成熟时再打算。

The Happiest Day since....

These two day, my boss went for travelling. This means that the environment in the office will change from 'library' to a normal office. Since yesterday i was playing around whole day with the staff, online chatting, playing internet games....i just do whatever it was illegal to be done in the office when our boss was in. This two days, i personally thinks that the staff in the office gets along so well. We get to know each other more than before (at least for the last one month since the first day i put my steps in it).

Today, while we were having some talks on the outfit, one of the staff suggested that we could go for shopping together after work. Me, which do not had anything going on after work, agreed without any hesitation. Even today, i finish up my Prison Break marathon in the office. CAN YOU BELIEvE that!!! But anyway, i've already reach the last episode, so i'm just finish up the last episode there in the office. WOW!!! What a great day i had!!! I got paid even i did watch Prison Break! How good is that!!! Somemore i help one of the staff to mark her student work book which i joke around said that i'm willing to help her do that work if she jus pay me RM10 for just helping her to mark one whole pile of the workbook of her students and she was just so funny that she agreed. But i think she might just be kidding. But, i don't mind if she pay me for that, that one of the work which i wont even need to use my brain. I just need to move my finger a bit and than i got the money!!! How great was that!!!! And she even suggested me that i could take up the part time job as the teacher in her sch as well. This one i'm still thinking whether to do it or not coz the job is every satuday afternoon and i've buy my ticket back home every month. So....

Well, actually, what i wanted to say here is... It had been long since the last day i laugh out loud. It was these two days that i ever had the chance to laugh out loud since the day i came here for my job. I just feel....GREAT!!! Though i'm kindda sad that i get such a low pay for my job, but i thank GOD for letting me to have all the superb staff that money cant buy....Thank GOD that though i had a not so perfect boss, I had a very perfect and caring head who is a superb guy and willing to guide me through everythin....Thank GOD that i got this job which i could see that i'll be able to learn a lot from the project which will be started next month....

All this just not happen as coincidence. But GOD who answered my prayer.

I love you GOD more than any living things on this earth!!!

Year 2009

Happy Year 2009!!! Hahaha... I'm wondering how are everyone that i know spend the last minutes of 2008. As for me, my only partner of my life -NEC is taking me through the times. To be honest, on the 1st day of 2009, once i open my eyes in the morning, i was kindda like stare at all the things around me to make sure everything was still on their exact place. I was like pulling up my ears to listen carefully for any unfamiliar sounds out there. All this stupidness of me end up to discover nothing but laughing to myself. Please forgive me for all the stupid things i had said just now. This was because recently i was watching too much of the movie about the earth which will going to be destroyed or the intrusion of the aliens to our planet or the love story between the vampire and human which is kindda impossible. OH MY....What happen to me??? I think i could be diagnose as hyper-movie-into-madness. WAHAHAHA...What kind of illness is that.

But anyway, for year 2009 i should be having some kind of new target (which is kindda like a trend of something). I think my current target now is to earn for a living, earn for my future, earn for HIM. No matter how hard it is, i'm gonna bite my lips and tongue or wherever that i can bite. Maybe sometimes life is not as easy as what i've expected, life might be tougher than i've expected....i knew that there's only one person that will stand still, always in the stanby mode whenever i need HIM. With the small faith that i had, i believe that nothing is going to be impossible. I'm so impressed with CS. Lewis recently, he was a good author. He makes me realized how sinful we are but there's always HOPE out there. Thank GOD for that. Another target of mine is to stay in good shape. I knew that my body was currently out of shape, and i think it seems to be getting worst if my situation continues to be like this. But, i had no idea how am i going to keep that. I had no faith with myself. All i can do is buy a tighter belt, keep to my normal meal, try to have less coffee....

Life out of my hometown is so different from the one that i used to had in my own home. I'm still adapting to it, though i'm doing quite well on it. But still, there's some human part of me which i cant cope. I just need some more times, for time being there will be someone that had the key to unlock the chain of my heart. Just hang in there....Don't gived up!!! You're LOved!!!

First Salary

Today, a public holiday, i'm home alone. I spend whole afternoon out there shopping until i got something from head to toe. All this spend a quarter of my salary. I wonder how can i survive until end of the month. The Chinese New Year is around the corner, this is the excuse i'm giving myself. From now onwards, i swear...no shopping for myself anymore. No more accessories or luxurious food for me anymore. I'm gonna live a simple life from now on.

Whole afternoon outside wondering all by myself, get lost in the town and finally get on the correct track, makes me feel so lonely. Though i look busy, but inside of me is hollow. I feel like i need someone to talk to but only then i realized i don't have one, which is kindda pathetic. I couldn't remember when is the last time i laugh out loud, makes me feel like stepping into the cinema to watch YES MAN.

Well, my life nowadays is so simple. During normal working days, my days past real fast. However, during the weekend, my days feel like ages. I feel wanted to give up on everything and just step on to Doulos. But, i cant. The reality is holding me back. No matter how i feel right now, what i'm going to face in the future for my job, i'll be hanging there. For money sack i'll be holding what my job needs me to do now, i'm sure will get on to Doulos. So....Doulos....wait for me!!!

Only i realize how i miss it so much

Merry Christmas to those who are reading my blog, wish you had a great time to sit down and relax, cleared up your mind from all your busy living days etc. As for me, i just came back from church. This morning, GOD wakes me up. Because i tell HIM that tomorrow i'll hav to be in the church to celebrate JESUS birthday. And, YES!!! HE wakes me up!!! I didn't wake up with any alarm clock for me to snooze which i usually did, when i finally get a seat in the church, the service get started. Praise GOD for that, I'M PUNCTUAL!!!

I had no idea why the blood inside me was burning, i almost sing the Christmas Song out loud while the world was still sleeping. In the church, everything was too good to be describe. I was so glad i'm back to GOD's home again. This was superb!!! I feel like weeping while I heard the soprano solo on What Child This Is. I knew very well what child that was but i had been away from HIM for ... only HIM knew how long. When i heard that song, i can feel HIS warm and comfort arm was holding me tight to HIM. The comfort and touch is beyong everything. Even if the world fades, HE will still be standing by my side. No matter how things getting worst, HE is still there, weeping together with me, HE is my only comforter. Only HE can give me the comfort where living mans in this world can't.

In this beautiful day of Christmas, where the weather was superbly good with the sun shinning bright outside from the rainy days past few weeks, i'm sitting right here with my Nescafe beside me posting my blog, praising our GOD. Before this day ever came, i felt so much excited that i started to plan a lot of places to go for this day. But, i end up sitting at home now with my handphone locked in my drawer in the office. This was all HIS will. HE wants me to stay with HIM in this beautiful days, so that nothing can distract me from being with HIM. How beautiful everything was.

Thank GOD.
Only YOU know what i really want
Only YOU can heard the shout of desire deep down my heart
Only YOU could understand me well than every living creature did
I feel so useless
There was so many lost soul out there
GOD please provide me strength and wisdom and everything that YOU can provide me
Let me be your tools to save them
I Love YOU GOD!!!

Twilight

This was such a romantic novel which i had been reading in my life time. I mustn't deny that i do feel an urged to get a boyfriend myself, hoping that my relationship with my guy will be like them as well. But, reality always too cruel to be known.

This was a real beautiful story. I had finish the first book of it and i'm gonna starting up with the second one now. Thanks to my best friend sending me the softcopy of this and let my day pass with the romance in the air. I think i might had been get too deep down into the story, until last night, i worp up at 3am, a sleepless night, dreaming about one guy whom it will never be real for me to see him. Erm, i don't mind telling who was that, the guy in my dream is DUNCAN JAMES. Weird huh!!! I myself cant believe it as well. But, no matter what, this is all not my point. Whatever i dreamt was a totally contrast from the Twilight.

In my dreamt, this Duncan had already married and already a father of one daughter. Towards the end of my dream, i can only conclude that there was a sound crying for regret on this guy. I think he's kindda like my ex and something like that and now he had married with another women and live in a happy life which i could never imagine. Weird again huh!!! I myself was shocked as well when i dream about things like this. All of this because of this romantic Twilight, makes me feel love is in the air (which is most impossible things to happen).

The author of the book Twilight -- Stephenie Meyer, i think is because she is a girl so she write more detail on how a girl feel deep inside. I was so impress with the way she describe the inner feeling of the character, though it's a little bit boring there. But, yeah, she was success. No wonder this book sells so much better than Harry Potter.

I'm gonna get myself into the cinema and see how's the director going to make this novel into movie without loosing any romance of the book. Well, i'm gonna continue with the second book now!!!

槟城。。。我爱你！！！

这一趟的行程，感觉上好像比以前短。但这一次，是真正让我对槟城改观的一趟。这一趟，除了买了很多东西、逛了两间商场，这趟也和上一趟一样呆在医院里面几乎一整天。唯一不同的是，这一趟我吃了超多东西的。我可以说是把所有槟城有名的东西都吃了，只要我的肚子允许的我都吃了。有到了槟城一定要吃的炒果条、能够做出五星级般的菜色的大炒、有名的路边摊吃着有名的糖水-cenddol、一家应有尽有而且风景又好的大牌档.....反正，只要你讲得出来，我应该都有吃到。果然，名不虚传，槟城真的真的是一个美食天堂。而且啊，我也开始明白为什么我们家两老从槟城回来后就对它念念不忘，现在的我就是这样。

这一趟能够过得这么难忘当然，有一个人我一定是要感谢的。如果没有他，我这趟行程就只会去商场和医院。而且啊，其实我这一次是身负重任的，是他把我捧在天上，让我觉得我像个公主一样。有些东西我不好意思开口的，他好像听见我内心的呐喊一样，一样一样的帮我实现。这个人可以说是看着我长大成人的，在我7-8岁开始就看见他，每个月带着一班男生到民都鲁。这种日子一直持续到现在，但现在只剩下他一个人来了。这个人对我们家影响也蛮大的，家里的风吹草动无法解决事，他就像是神派来的天使一样来为我们解决一切的难题。现在回想起来，我们家会认识他好像不是偶然的，而是上帝冥冥之中安排的。感谢主！！！而且啊，也是他让我看见，原来这个世界还有这么好的人存在着，还真得让我对男生有一点点的期望。哈哈！！！

反正，就是难忘啦！！！买了超多东西，因为下一次出门不知道是什么时候了，吃了超多东西.....从明天开始我不可能吃到这么多好吃的东西了。我要开始减肥了！！！可怜的我，拉肚子了！！！

食客

好久咯，都没有写'剧评'了。哈哈！！！严格来说，这部剧没有那么刺激。但，韩剧最了不起的一点就是－－慢工出细活。一路看下去才能感受到这部剧的美。我这几夜，每天就是这部剧陪我收行理。我好久都没有因为看连续剧而哭了，昨晚我哭到好想我就是剧里的人一样。还好我聪明，在夜深人静的时候看，所以就算我怎样哭也没人知道。

剧里的那位爷爷，真的很有感染力。他根本就不用演，他所有的言行举指都会让人有种心疼的感觉。尤其看见他一个老人家对那传统味道的坚持，而孩子又为了扩展事业而不顾那原有的味道，弟弟为了不让哥哥觉得身份受到威胁而选择放下刀子到处流浪。。。父亲连患病了也不说出来，所有的事都是自己一个人承受，叫人看了真的很痛心。韩剧的结局永远都是令人出乎意料的，不像港剧一样。这个结局看了，真的给人一种动力！虽然有一点点不是很明白，至少可以看见这两个兄弟对食物的热情。

不晓得会不会有人和我一样入戏会这么深和有耐心的把这部剧追完，但我觉得与其看那种针锋相对的戏，还不如看一看这种让人体会人生大道理的剧。看完了真得让我回味无穷！！！


一起努力打理“云岩亭”的三个青年人


剧里的主要人物
PS：看看那位老爷爷。。。有没有很想抱他的感觉？？？


超级漂亮的女主角


笑容一样灿烂的两个人

还是梦～～～

突然觉得，我这个人还真是有点悲哀呢，所有想做的事都只有在梦里能做到。不知道是不是因为新床太好睡的关系，害我连梦也都是超级甜美的梦。哈哈哈～～～

看见身边的朋友们一个一个的找到另一半，自己开始在担心是不是会孤独一生。虽然嘴上装做不在乎，但全身的血液已经沸腾到了一个极点，心里常常开始不断的重复的问：什么时候才轮到我？？？梦里面的那个女生，好像是我没错啊，但那个男生。。。（有点无言的说）。。。应该只有在梦里面有可能吧，这么久不见的人怎么会在我梦里出现呢？？？我宁愿那个男生是王力宏，这样我会比较认命，但。。。怎么偏偏就是他呢？？？可见他的影子仍然存在在我内心的某一处。但是，当我脑筋清醒时，回想起我们以前一起玩的时光，好像被冷水泼醒一样，因为那个男生曾经跟我说过，他喜欢长头发的女生。从此以后，我跟我自己说，我的头发决对不可以比我的耳朵长出10公分。

以前的我，刚刚出来一个人生活，不晓得外面的世界有多么黑暗。被磨练了五年的我，不敢说我100%成熟了，但至少我会分是非了。

谢谢蚊子姐姐

昨夜有点被那只蚊子姐姐给折磨死了，但也多亏了它让我做了这么美的梦。昨夜的梦里有我很喜欢见到的人，也有我很想再见的人。在现实生活中不可能的事，在梦里面都变成真的!!!还蛮爽的。

刚刚傍晚的时候啊，因为那个死弟弟睡着了不跟我开门，还我没家门进，那我就去书局逛了一下。结果不小心被我看到一个心理测验的书，我忘了那个问题是什么了，但我只知道-那个测验超准的!!! 它说啊，我到现在仍然是单身的原因是因为我的眼光太高，如果我放下我的眼光，肯定会有很多爱慕者出现!!! 看完这一篇，我真的很认真地在想，真的是这样吗??? 好像是也.....哈哈!!!

言归正传，我的梦!!! 我的门还蛮浪漫的，至少我个人是这么认为的。有人主动亲近我、贴着我，那种感觉还蛮舒服、满难为情的；在我无助的时候，有天使帮助我。而且啊，我的天使是一班哦，是俊男美女的那种哦，是那种只有在梦里会见到他们本人的哦!!! 但在这个梦里，被我很喜欢见到的人冷冷的对待，甚至到那种被打入冷宫的地步。

反正，梦还是梦。不管我有多希望它发生都好，它始终还是一个梦，永远不可能发生的。醒醒吧王新娣!!!

眼不明、脑不快、口太快

一生人第一次interview的我发现，原来也不过如此。真的很感谢主的带领，我原本想说我一定会紧张到不行。结果，我的心跳一直都是保持在80-90。我根本就像和一个老朋友在聊天一样。

可能还是一颗嫩芽的我，不晓得外面世界的丑陋。事情结束后的我第一时间就和家人报告这个喜讯，心里还真的有点意想不到事情就这么快成了，天真的我还以为家人听了应该会很高兴吧! 但，好像不是也。 我反而觉得他们的语气里充满惋惜的声音。都是因为我自己了，真的真的太太太天真了，还以为外面的世界真的是我想的那样。现在的我，明明有好消息，但心情一直快乐不起来。怎办？？？ 难到我真的就这样拒绝了吗？？？ 可是我好不容易遇到一个（听起来）是我梦寐以求的也，而且我找不到理由拒绝也。

或许人家就是看到我的嫩，所以决定给我。怎办？？？ 我真的要这样放弃吗？？？ 我真的不晓得明天要怎样回覆他们也，而且他们也是我第一次看见办事效率是世界无敌的快的一家。怎办？？？

主啊！！！怎办？？？ 拜托，教教我。 好烦哦！！！ 这种事，有也烦，没有也烦。。。气死我了！！！

Still Jobless

It's been 2 month away since the day i attended my graduation ceremony. Until now, i'm still sitting in front of the computer surfing for jobs opportunities, taking care of my beloved niece and nephew. I wonder whether my life ended here just like this, no challenge nor adventure. Everyone is telling me to take it easy. Well, of coz i do. But...how long can i be like this??? With my body mass increasing??? With my saving decreasing???? I had no idea how long am i going to stay like this. I'm praying real hard for this. Even when i'm walking, i'm standing, i'm posting my blog....

Is there no opportunities awaiting for me??? How am i going to find it??? I'm lost...

好久不见！！！

真的好久好久没写部落格咯，本小姐懒惰啦！还在失业的我，每天除了追戏以外就只会吃。我已经追了无数部港剧了，追了这么久我还是无业游民一个。完蛋了啦我！

昨天刚刚追完‘家好月圆’，不知道为什么啊，以前我追‘溏心风暴’的时候啊，入戏很深也！这次，或许人老了，思想没有那么堵塞了。哎，反正就是好戏一部啦！

不写了。。。不知道要写什么。等我找到第一分工了再update吧！

The Best Room I've ever slept

This is the room, the best room i've ever slept in. The bed is superb, the weather is superb, the tv is 32' plasma in every room, a DVD player, one table pc with broadband connection, daily supply of fresh food, a heater in the master bedroom, bath tab with bath salt provided, oral-B toothbrush provided (which i needed it the most coz i forgot to bring mine), a tv inside the toilet - above the bath tab....

I feel like i'm a queen!!! All the hard effort that i had been working on paid off with a bonus like this!!! Thank GOD!!!

Let me show some picture of the room.

(Pls ignore the shoes one the floor)
Pic 1: The office desk in the room, with a PC, fax machine and a super comfortable CEO chair. The M&M (yellow pack) on the table is FOC as welcome gift!!!

Pic 2: The super comfortable sofa in front of the 32' plasma TV

Pic 3: Bath Tab (the blue thing is the artistic bottle is the bath salt)

命中注定

孤独老人这个用词真的很适合用在我身上，因为我就是啊！不是我想的，而是我命中注定就是，挡也挡不住！有人在的地方，果然就有问题。如果这世界上就只有我一个，应该不会有这么多烦恼和问题出现吧！如果这世界上只有我一个人，那地球就不会暖化，天灾就不会一直来。

讲这么多都是废话，难怪会惹人厌。现在的我才明白为什么我身边的朋友一个一个离我而去。其实，这一切一切都很简单，就是因为我是孤独老人。孤独老人之所以有所称号是因为它不适合生存在人多的世界里，因为它不能融入这个复杂的世界。这个世界，每个人都是面善心恶，现实把每一个人压得喘不过气来，而且也是一个适者生存的世界。那，不适者怎办呢？灭亡。。。

我不晓得我说错了什么，吃错了什么，唱错了什么，笑错了什么。。。就这样被将一军，永远没有翻身的机会，我真的死得蛮惨的。我宁愿死得痛苦一点，也不要死得不明不白。

我生病了

其实我已经咳嗽咳了很久，原本想说它自己应该会好的吧（还以为自己身体的抵抗力有那么好）。看吧，越来越严重了。那些细菌已经进化成伤风的细菌，再进化成咳嗽的菌，又再进化成喉咙发炎的菌。它们这样不断的进化，终于我受不了了，去找医生去了。吃了三天的药，喉咙好像没有这么痛了，但咳嗽还是一样严重。我甚至咳到流泪＋失声，所以现在千万不要找我聊天，不然你会被我那'性感'的声音吓昏。哈哈！！！

7天后的我又要再一次搭上飞机，这次是去我的毕业典礼咯！！！好兴奋哦！！！最近半夜咳醒时自己就会开始在那里幻想一些有的没的。但是，现实还是现实。毕业了，然后呢？？？昨天也不晓得是吹什么，风竟然可以那么努力的一次过影印的4份履历表，放入信封贴上邮票寄出去。现在它们已经在天上飞咯！！！我姐说不用急啦，话是这么说没错，而且啊，我爸妈他们就趁我在家这段时间出国到中国大陆去观光咯！！！看见他们这么难得可以出去轻松一下又觉得，好像我不做工可以造就更多人也。哈！！！

不管了，有就有，没有就没有，不管了。

Empty

Congrats to LEE CHUNG WEI whom won a silver medal for Malaysia!!! OMG!!! What a victory he had won for Malaysia. Though the money he loose 70K but most of the money wont reach to himself though, this is a sensitive issue and it's not my main point here.

It's been the second month since i finish my last and final exam in Monash University and i'm still sitting here jobless. What i currently did everyday was eat, sleep, online until i don't remember the sun had gone to sleep, watching olympic games and make me quite crazy bout Michael Phelps....What a useless life i'm having right now. I wish i had some essay or reports or assignment for me to rush, like what i've done in Monash.

A far away friend of mine tell me that this is the time for me to get closed to GOD, spend some times with HIM before i don't have the time to spend with him. Well, this is true and which i have been forcing myself doing it everyday. Though my progress is kindda slow, but at least i still spend sometimes reading GOD's words. But....life is still life. I'm still empty.

This morning my mum tell me that there's one vacancy in SIBU (recommended by my bro-in-law's cousin, also my senior). Thank GOD that there's actually so many opportunity waiting for me outside. Just that....aiya....i don't know la!!!COMPLICATED is the word. I do feel it's quite good to work in SIBU, means its near to my hometown, and i knew him well....but my problem is....i knew him too well...I mean that senior of mine who recommend this job to me. If i do apply means i'll have to work with him and it's WEIRD for me. But i don't want to stay empty like this ler....HAI....

COMPLICATED....

I'm Back!!!

Praise GOD for my safe journey back and forth to the OCZ outreach. Thank GOD for everything that HE had done on us. There's a number of things for me to Thank GOD for and i most probably won't be able to finish it within one day.

My journey start here:

We gather in PeaceHeaven, Genting to attend the conference prior to the outreach. Everything was just too great to be describe in words. Holy Spirit had touched each and everyone of us who had attended the journey. It was here that i meet up my team (outreach to Taiwan).

Team to Taiwan!!!

I know what is in your mind right now. YES, i'm the one and only precious PRINCESS in the team. HAHAHAH!!! At first i do feel struggle a bit, but things gets too well then i can even handle. Praise GOD!!! For HE knews all my worries hence help me handle it.

Praise GOD again our flight landed safely in TaoYuan airport where the day we landed in the airport was the first day of typhoon day which was graded as 11 and was considered as serious!!! GOD's is with us all the time. We were sent to one small community called BAIFU in KEELUNG to serve together with the church. There was a slight change in plan but everything was still fine. In this small church which our team had been serving together with, it consist of 80% of youth and with the average members of 60. We had evangelistic teaching to the church leaders, open aired evangelistic meeting where we did mime in the park and on the cross road of the street with our face painted.

SCARRY PEOPLE....

We did Prayer Walk where we distribute fliers to the people we meet on the street, and faith trip where each of us are separated into different group. The most challenging part is the faith trip where we are not allowed to bring any money with us but we were sent to one spot to complete our mission such as sharing the gospel with student of the university or eat the most famous food in that area but without using any money!!! It's the first time ever in my life time that i kindda like begged for money in the MRT station to travel back to our church.

Me with my faith trip group in MRT station, preparing back to church.

OK....done with our missionary work. NOW, is the SHOPPING and FOOD MINISTRY!!! WAHAHAHA....the food there was superb!!! You won't imagine how many things we all had been eaten. Even the 7-11 there was superb man!!! We loved the 7-11 so so much until we go to the 7-11 for supper or afternoon tea or whenever we feel like craving for food for at least 3 times a day. WE LOVED 7-11 which we never did in Malaysia. Shopping Ministry is my part where i almost make all of my team mates mad because of my shopping madness. HA!!!

MY SUCCESS....

Well, overall....the trip is such a memorable trip. Though in between i had been facing so much trouble and messy thing, THANK GOD for everything. I can see the HE is holding my hands to guide me walk through all those hard times. I LOVED YOU SO MUCH GOD...more than i loved anyone on earth. If next year GOD allows me to go for this outreach again, i wont hesitate and willing to take another challenge. PRAISE GOD HALLELUYAH FOR ALL HE HAD DONE!!!

Break Time

Guess what!!! I'm in Taiwan Ji Lung now, in a small town which is as big as Bintulu. Now is our break time since our pack schedule since the day we arrive here. Though it's a small town but it's full of foods and supermarket especially those 24 hour mart. I so so so so love the 7-11 here. We all spend at least 20mins inside. The drinks was all awesome, the packing looks gorgeous and the most important thing is that i found the lipton tea drink got leehom face printed on the packing and which i had tried all of them. The only things which we all cannot stand is the weather. The first days we arrive here is the first day of the typhoon days. Erm, it sounds scarry but actually it's just normal rainy days. Thank God there's been shiny sunlight for two days.

We'll gonna involve in an open aired evangelistic meeting later at 3pm which was kindda exciting where we gonna do some face painting and do some mime with it. Imagine that -- WE DO THAT IN A PUBLIC PLACE!!!! I cant imagine how am i gonna look like with the face paint on my face. I don't dare to think and don't want to think but just leave it to GOD. No matter what's gonna happen i'm just gonna GO FOR IT!!!!

And last but not least.....the food here is SUPERB MAN!!!!! Everything is so so so nice!!!! U can't believe how nice it is. Everything is just gorgeous!!! And i tell u, u try to imagine that -- in one small town like Bintulu, there's super super lot's of food for us to eat. And today is the fourth day we are here and i think we just manage to taste about 20% of the food. IT'S AMAZING!!!! And the people here are GORGEOUS!!!! The people from this small church are so nice, so exciting to see us coming, so 're qing'!!!!

I LOVE TAIWAN.....but i'll definitely not goin to come again during summer time which even we from tropical country cannot stand the heat here. OMG!!!!!

原始的兴奋

放假没事干的我无意间发现msn video里有Backstreetboys演唱会的video。身为他们的忠实粉丝的我当然不可能错过啦！结果就一屁股坐在电脑前、speaker开的有点大声的、目不转睛的对着monitor，一看就是76分钟。看完后，只有一个字可以形容我－－hyper!!!那个情绪真的和那些嗑过药的人是一样的，就是兴奋、亢奋...我之所以会这么激动当然也是有原因的啦，不然我干嘛没事自high啊？神经病啊我。因为msn po 的那常演唱会,他们的曲目编排和我本人去看的那一场（在sunway surf beach)是完全一样的。所以会特别的激动，好像我也在现场一样。

我好久好久都没有这么激动过了。人生啊，就是要有点起浮，不然说实话还真的是蛮闷的说。就像现在的我呀，根本就是过着猪的生活，每天过着宅女的生活，只能用一个字－闷来形容。孤庇的我，如果没事的话是不会踏出家门口半步的（店不算〕，就连教堂也懒的去，因为只要想到我的出现就会像熊猫一样一直被注视着，心里就不舒服。而且还会有打不完的招呼、重复又重复的问题结答、勉强自己皮笑肉不笑...等等。还是在家好！对着那两个小瓜就够我受的了。还好有他们两个，让我的日子忙碌一点点。

闷啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

思念

大城市和小城市的生活就是有差。我好像已经习惯忙碌的生活，现在突然要我静下来我还真是超级无敌的不习惯也。其实家里有好多好多的事情是要我做的－－家务啦、司机啦、保姆啦...感觉我好像应该很忙吧！但其实懒惰的我什么都不做。回家真的而且是100％会发胖，因为只要我眼睛一挣开我都在吃东西，而且家人好像怕我饿死一样，一直拼命的叫我吃，如果我不吃好像很奇怪。

我才回来一个星期，原本想说放假了可以静静坐下来好好享受我的假期，怎知。。。原来不行也！回来这里，没有GYM、没有我爱喝的咖啡、没有我熟悉的教堂、没有可以让我逛街的地方、没有和我一起玩的朋友们。。。怎办呀！！！才一个星期也。。。我还想说要休息到够够的也。。。。

还好，我要去OCZ了。。。台湾我来了！！！但又很担心我自己没有这么大的能耐，真的好怕我会像他常骂我的－－等你到台湾去，看你还敢不敢嫌三嫌四、台湾没人愿意载你，看你怎么办、去到台湾不要哭着吵着要回家。。。讨厌啦！！！偏偏就是被你讲中。。。这些东西我真的不是普通的担心也。

为我加油吧！！！

我走了！

时间过得好快，以前啊，我每天说时间过得很慢，为什么我一直不会毕业的？现在，我（暂时）可以宣布我毕业了！五个小时后我就会在天上飞了，心情真的超沉重地说。在这里的喜怒哀乐，所有的一切就好像在看电影一样的在flashback，这个房间从一无所有到满满的，现在又归回空荡荡。奇妙吧！

我好讨厌这种分离的感觉。虽然我知道我还会再回来，但我不再以一个学生的身份来了，而是以一个过路客的身份来这里度假。这五年来，我的人生里面出现的超多的过路客。说真的，虽然我每次嘴上说我记不得他们的名字，但他们的样子是深深地印在我的脑海里，我记得的。在这里所有的感情是我前所未有的，我会把这一切好好收藏起来，让自己慢慢的回味！

人真的好软弱哦！每每面对生离死别就是要这么痛苦。一定要为我加油哦！我好怕哪天我就这样放弃了，因为我真的没有信心踏入这个黑暗的社会虽然这是必经之路。

大家一起加油吧！
朋友们！
加油加油加油！！！

不变的事

每天几乎都会听到-这个世界变咯、气候在变咯、经济在变咯...但今天，我发现一件...也是唯一一件没有在改变的东西=自私的人心！我每次都在说，就是因为人心险恶，搞到人心惶惶、世界不再美丽。而我一直都自觉很幸福，因为我还没遇到这些不幸的事。原来生活在这个丑陋的世界里的我是逃不过这一劫的！好人永远都是被欺压的那个，坏人永远都是成功的那个。

人心难道就可以这样被糟蹋的吗？
人心难道就应该这样被践踏的吗？
难道人心就不会破碎吗？
难道人心就不会有感觉吗？
难道人心就不会流血吗？

为什么这个世界可以腐坏到这种程度？
为什么这个世界可以充满这么多邪恶？
为什么人可以自私到这种程度？
你高兴难道就代表我也要高兴吗？
你兴奋难道我就必须要跟着兴奋吗？
你生气难道我就要顺从你吗？
那你把我当什么？
你的宠物吗？
没有情感的动物吗？
和耶稣一样被人践踏也不会发出一句怨言的伟人吗？

我说的话一直被忽视、一直被轻看
我的存在一直被遗忘、一直被嫌弃
等等等等....
这一切的一切我都忍下来了
但最令我痛心的是
竟然连我的感觉也被忽视
竟然连我的感觉也....
我不想用一些很难听的字

谢谢你们让我看清你们的真面目
谢谢你们再一次提醒我-世界的丑陋
谢谢你们再一次提醒我-不应该这么积极
谢谢你们再一次提醒我-人是自私的
谢谢你们再一次令我失望
谢谢你们教会我什么叫铁下心来
多亏你们
让我有这么痛心失望的回忆

我好后悔我为什么回来
我好后悔我为什么要撑着疲惫的身体赶路
我好后悔我为什么相信你们
我好后悔我给你们机会
到头来
痛苦的人是我
路是你们选的，我也只能所抱歉了

被遗弃的小孩Part2

从来没有人看见它的存在
从来没有人发现它的存在
从来没有人重视它的存在

它一直很用力的拨开外壳
它一直很努力的蜕变
它一直很尽力的生存
它一直很竭尽所能的开着灿烂的花

如今
花儿凋谢了
落叶纷飞了
热烈的阳光已不再
永远的阴天已来临

万般的不舍
也唯有顺从
万般的无奈
也唯有忍耐
万般的伤心
也唯有独自流泪
万般的痛心
也唯有自怜自哀
万般的不服
也唯有认了

他在骂我

这部偶像剧真的很成功，它让我觉得里面的陈欣怡和我越来越像。Dylan骂的那些话，根本就是对我骂的。虽然我没有陈欣怡那么的伟大，到处为人家服务而从不想自己，但至少有一点我们是一样的--笨、什么都不会、而且‘不管我在那里，好像都是多余的’。反正...和我很像就对了啦！

但，陈欣怡比我幸运。在她面临这么多困难的时候，她身边总是有人帮助她。而我呢，就算天塌下来自己还是要很用力的站着。朋友，当然我有一大堆。但是，有哪些才是真正的呢？没有！每个都是表面应酬罢了。好啦，其实是有啦！但都是短暂的，每个都离我而去。没关系啦，我还不是这样活过来了。

加油陈欣怡！！！加油王新娣！！！

好好笑哦！

我一直都很爱看国光，因为看这个节目可以了解男人多一点。但这一集令我对他们刮目相看。原来，他们也了解女人。花一点时间看吧，我极力推荐哦！看了你就知道我在说什么了。

Foodborne Illness

It was 5 years ago since the last time that i got infected by the foodborne pathogen, that's when i first left home and came here to study. Five years later, where i'll hopefully be graduated, i got infected again! It's kindda like what we chinese people say ‘有头有尾’... Hahaha!!!

It's kindda suffering. I can't concentrate on my studies where i'll be having my first paper the day after tomorrow... All my apetite had gone, whenever i want to eat i'll need to think about the 'consequences'. No wonder, since yesterday i feel like my lunch were not digested and i keep on burping out gases. By that time, i knew that there's somethings gonna happen on me. And that's me now!!!

Everything is on my own now. No matter what also i'm on my own. Don't worry, i understand my body real well. I know how to cure it. Doctor don't understand more than myself about my body. Aza!!! Aza!!! E.coli go away....Enterobacter go away.....Salmonella (hopefully there's none of them) go away!!!

I Love You

真的不得不承认
一句很普通的话
‘I Love You’
原来是那么的有力量的

原本很沮丧
原本觉得世界是黑暗的
就因为这一句话
我从新振作了
让我重新看见世界的光明

谢谢对我说了这句话的人
你小小的声音
一直在我脑海里打转
在我觉得人生没意义的时候
在我想放弃的时候
你给了我这一句话

这短短的三个字
把我从谷底
调到天堂

但
天下无不散之宴席
每个人都需要长大
每个人都需要离开
我只希望
在你心里的某一处
有我的影子存在着
那我就满足了

谢谢你
我也爱你

终于说出口了

藏在心里这么久的一句话
终于说出来了
好奇怪哦
心里有种莫名的快感
心脏好久没这么刺激过
说话好久都没这么抖过
虽然
得到的答案
有点没有说服力
虽然
我不知道你了解多少
虽然
我不知道你有没有听懂
但至少
我说了！
以后的造化
顺其自然吧！
但我相信
应该会成功的
至少
我已经跨出了这一大步
单单这一点就应该掌声鼓励了也

找到你的[心靈伴侶]

[心靈伴侶]是個多美妙的字眼。
我們都希望能找到自己的心靈伴侶，卻又擔心人海茫茫，但是也許不需要用“找”的，而是可以用“培養”的。

想跟大家分享一些過來人的幸福的小秘訣，希望給你一些點子跟幫助：

《談戀愛要睜大眼睛》
碰到不對的人，有時怎麼努力也難力挽狂瀾，這時就要理性喊卡！

很多人會受許多情傷折磨，但是有些傷口可以不用惡化，差別在於，當你發現你所愛非人時，你願不願意鼓起勇氣─放手，有人寧願忍受對方劈腿或是暴力相向，也不敢面對失去對方的痛苦。

一段健康的感情，是你能清楚明白，雙方都很認真的面對感情，碰到困難，都樂意調整自己，衝突是情人難免的，但你可以從處理衝突的方式，明白這段感情是否值得繼續下去，或是轉身離開。


《“心靈親密”第一課─培養信任感》

當你已經知道彼此真心相對時，就可以開始“心靈親密”的第一課─培養信仰感，不做讓對方不安的事情，也避免被試探的可能性。

舉例來說，兩人能約定跟異性朋友的適當距離，這依每對情侶的情況有所不同，有人完全不能接受對方跟異性朋友出去，有人可以接受先報備，但重點是你願不願意為了對方的容忍限度，而有所配合，當然也有可能是，對方有了不合理的要求，你能不能判斷那是不對，而試圖溝通。

從一些原則的溝通上，你就能發現雙方能否良性互動，而當情況惡劣，無法改進時，也要有心理準備，這段感情可能並不適合。


《“心靈親密”第二課─願意反省改變》

聖經上有一個教導很好， 你們怎樣判斷人，也必怎樣被判斷；你們用甚麼標準衡量人，也必照樣被衡量。 為甚麼看見你弟兄眼中的木屑，卻不理會自己眼中的梁木呢？

我們每個人都有缺點，但你能否改變自我？其實人的內心很多時候是很驕傲的，根本不願意承認自己有問題。而談戀愛是一個成長的過程，你對家人好友可能都有保留，但面對最親近的戀人反而無所遁藏，所以一些個性上的缺點就很容易浮現出來，而改變勢必是痛苦的，但可能是有益處的，讓我們的性格經過鍛鍊而更成熟。

在感情中，許多時候在要求對方改進之前，先反求諸己，反而更能感動對方，開始進步！


《“心靈親密”第三課─願意花費心思和時間》

戀愛真的是個花功夫的事情。

兩個人吵架，你可能要花很多時間解決問題。兩個人分離，你可能要花很多時間思念。兩個人感情停滯，你可能要花很多心力想辦法進步。

所以為什麼專家都建議不要太早開始戀愛，因為我們在求學階段，光是花時間面對課業就心力交瘁，還要面對自己許多的改變，尋找自我的過程。如果談了戀愛，勢必就要犧牲許多時間和精神在彼此身上，又因為不成熟，而留下許多傷害，更糟糕的是，錯過的青春美好時光以及其他的友誼是回不來的。

所以，我建議等你預備好，已經懂得愛自己，管理時間、情緒，經營好人際關係，不害怕寂寞時，才是談戀愛的好時機。


《“心靈親密”第四課─愛情不能鬆懈》

如果你已經預備好了，我也有幾個小建議：

你知道為什麼有人認為婚姻是戀愛的墳墓嗎？其實這跟男女生的差異很有關係。男生會認為把女生娶回家，就是任務階段性完成了，他下一個目標就是好好的衝刺事業，打好經濟基礎。但是女生是一直需要被疼惜的感覺，所以她會很明顯的感到不安，為什麼先生不像談戀愛時，那麼在意自己了？而男生也會感到太太怎麼那麼不懂事，還一直給他額外的壓力，時日一久，兩人心靈的縫隙就越來越大了！

所以，這提醒我們，就算你們曾經彼此情感親密，也可能因為環境或心態上的變化，造成感情破裂，這就是第四課的重點，愛情不能鬆懈喔！


《“心靈親密”第五課─了解彼此差異並接納》

●男生要學習透明化，分享你的內心

一談戀愛，男生會覺得女生突然變得控制慾好強，要知道他去了哪裡？他現在想什麼？其實女生只是很容易沒有安全感，她需要參與男朋友的生活，她想多了解男朋友的想法，所以會問許多問題，這是她表達關心跟愛的方式，倒不是想監視男生，所以如果男生願意“透明化”，他就會發現原來女朋友越有安全感，就越能放心信任他，而當男生養成習慣跟女朋友分享內心時，你也會很開心，有人願意支持你，兩人感情就會越來越好喔！

●女生要仰慕尊重男生

女生喜歡問男生：[你愛不愛我？]，但很少聽見男生這樣問，對嗎？
因為上帝創造很奇妙，男生心底更需要的是聽見女生說：[你好棒！有你當我男朋友，我真幸福，我以你為傲！]所以學習常常讚美肯定你所愛的他，能更激勵他上進，以及感動地回報你的愛。

而女生也要反省自己的控制慾，你要學會尊重男生的想法跟感受，他們不見得第一時間會告訴你─他感到不愉快，但女生要細心的體諒觀察，並且小心自己任性，不然，長久下去，可能會嚇跑你的男朋友！

----------------------------------------------------------

心靈伴侶的真正意義，就是雙方能願意以對方的心意為第一，不論是用陪伴或是安慰，具體的支持對方，這裡頭也要有強韌的愛，以及互相了解為基石。

希望大家能看見心靈伴侶的可貴，而願意在每一天努力經營你們的愛情喔

男女大不同之甜言蜜語篇

愛情醫生發現許多年輕人都不知道男女大不同，特別兩性差異反應在愛情更是讓你瞠目結舌，所以趕快來看醫生幫你整理的小重點，讓你知道男女差別，也懂得如何因應喔！


▂▃▅▆▇ 男生的永永遠遠比女生的永永遠遠短命多了！▇▆▅▃▂

女生醒醒吧！不管你們談了多少未來的事，男生都不相信你們會永遠在一起，他根本沒有考慮結婚的事。

一個十幾歲的男生就算跟你說，我們會永遠再一起，但是事實上他絕對不會想那麼遠，當你在計劃你們的生活時，他所思考的未來，跟他生命中想做事，可不是兩人婚後生活，即使你們決定上同一所大學，你仍舊不會是他生活的重心。不要妄想他會親口承認這件事，他會說出你想聽的答案，但不會說出真相。

這並不是說男生很爛，女生很好。這件事的重點在於每個人對事情的看法不盡相同。女孩的天性就是渴望遇見真愛安定下來，男生的天性則是出去征服世界，在冒險中發現自己的可能，當你了解兩方本質上的不同，你才能開始健康的男女關係。
男生請注意！女生真的會以為妳們會一直在一起，十年、二十年，甚至一輩子。

女生超級愛做"永永遠遠"的白日夢。畢竟那麼多少女們愛看的小說、偶像劇、漫畫都跟我們說，當我們第一次愛上一個人時，他就剛好是我們的真命天子，或許他現在還不明白我的付出，但等他成熟後，他會加倍的疼愛我。所以你們還沒開始約會，她就已經幻想你們未來婚禮，生活一起的樣子，她還跟好朋友討論過了。


所以老兄，你必須了解女生在想什麼，別把事情弄得更糟，因為當有女生喜歡我們，我們就會跟她說她愛聽的話：
[我要永遠跟妳在一起。]
[跟妳在一起，感覺很不一樣。]
[妳是我遇過最特別的女孩子。]


我們說的並不是假話，只是表達的誇張了點，例如：我們跟每個正妹在一起時，感覺都很不一樣，但女生可不這麼認為，她會以為你是真情告白，於是她的白日夢系統就啟動的更嚴重了。


所以，男生們，我們要對這些誤解負起責任，如果你一開始就知道沒有結果的話，就別裝了！那到後來會變成一種殘忍的情感虐待，你所說的每句話都是女孩浪漫的憧憬，會讓她毫無抵抗能力為你做牛做馬，但是當你離開她時，就像把女孩的心撕開，踐踏利用，最後毀了她，讓她一個人遍體麟傷。這實在太傷天害理，就算你現在真的感覺很愛她，也別隨便說出口，畢竟你不能保證三年後這感覺會不會改變。但是你也不能說出實話：[嗯！因為我現在跟妳在一起感覺很好，所以我很開心，但我不能保證當我沒感覺時，會不會愛上別人。]啪！你臉上會多了一巴掌。


所以，問題的癥結在於不管男生說什麼，女生都可能做不必要的聯想，所以我只能說，跟女生說話要小心，老老實實說出你的想法，不要加油添醋！


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
最後，看到這邊，如果你覺得：[我才不會這樣咧，你不明白我是真的愛她/他。而且我們都打算結婚。]，請特別看下面這一段。


如果你真的"感覺"兩個人會有結果，讓我們來談談那個"感覺"，你會為了對方寢食難安、舉止失常、手心冒汗、心跳加速，指點你一下，那不叫做愛。那是很棒的感覺，但別把這感覺跟愛情弄混了，愛情不是多愁善感、輾轉難眠，愛情是你決定一輩子去愛一個人，就算有時沒有感覺也能堅持下去，就算對方中風、車禍殘廢，你仍愛他，這才叫愛情。


我們談的是你現階段的交友，這些原則到你成年以後面對婚姻就不適用了，但那之前，希望你能理解青少年戀愛不會有結果，這不代表你就不能跟異性交往，反而你可以去體驗和異性做朋友的樂趣跟界限，不會迷失自我，不會隨便跟對方上床，更珍惜自己喔！

Mutation of genetic material

Scientific Terms
Causes:
Mutagenic material eg: radioactive substances, nuclear effect, or environmental stress. Alteration in Genetic material eg: Non-disjunction, base-deletion and substitution...

Symptoms: Altered physical features, mental retardation.

Treatment: NONE, GOD created everthing. Restrict yourself from getting closed contact with radioactive substances such as X-Ray! WOMEN: DO NOT SCAN UR BABY AS OFTEN AS U LIKE, this might cause alteration in the genetic material of your baby inside ur stomach. This is due to the high energy particle that might cause mutation in the genetical material, if present in high dose.

Weird huh, for what i've written. It's kindda scientific but just wanted to shout out that....this is the reality and this is what we are facing in the world today. All this are in scientific terms. If in non-scientific terms, continue to read.

Non-scientific terms
Causes: Evil and reality of the world cause mutation in human characteristic. Man started to leave GOD and live on their own, like those Isrealite shown in the book of Kings.

Symptoms: Depression, Jealousy, Disappointment, Anger, Eager to Revenge etc.

Treatment: NONE. But with GOD everything can be done.

There's similarity between these two. That's the treatment part - NONE. Both of this you need to rely on GOD. No matter what is his creation, you'll have to respect it and appreciate it. HE will have HIS WILL in it. Just learn to accept it. Pray hard for that.

Sometimes, there's also 'radioactive' or 'nuclear' particles in me whereby i do not know when does it cause harm (like the effect of nuclear weapon). I myself cannot find the source of leakage. I need some technician for that. But unfortunately, this wont happen. Unless, the power source had been turned off.

从此封口

明明不会说话还要装很会
明明很笨还要自以为是
明明一无是处还要逞强
看吧
出事了吧！
自找的
连神也不想帮你了

好烦哦！
我觉得没有什么影响力的一句话
怎么杀伤力那么大啊？
哪来那么大的威力啊？
又或者
这些所谓的威力及杀伤力
都是我自己凭空想象出来的？

俗话说的真好
女人的直觉是很准的
通常一个女人觉得不对的时候
那情况真地会很不妙
虽然我不是很确定
我所照成的杀伤力有多大
但至少
我知道我说错话了

好吧！
本姑娘在此郑重申明：
本姑娘从此封口
没有人问
就不会有我答
没有人说
就不会有我讲
有人在的地方
我的声音不允许存在
没有人在的地方
才有我的声音出现

从此
世界即将进入和平时代

Angels Always by Your Side

Believe it or not, there's always angel by your side giving you a helping hand whenever you need it. Of coz, we could not visualised the angels like the one pictured out in the movie or cartoon show. We need the heart to feel their appearance. Let me quote one word from Queen Lucy of The Chronicles of Narnia "It's not that you cannot see, just that you don't want to see it." Erm, confused?

Well, what i want to shout out is that, there's always an invisible helping hands ready by our side. It was always there whenever and wherever we are. However, in this busy and realistic world, the vision on the angels become blurred or sometimes even ignored. World tends to become dark, full of disaster and evil, mans are fighting with each other....This is a endless story. The world is getting darker and darker. The bright like brought out by the angels had been buried by the darkness. Mans will have difficulties in finding out their way therefore they tend to sort out their own way which might lead them into the darkest pathway of all.

So, no matter what.....DON'T GIVE UP!!!! Remember to slow down your pace, calm down yourself and seek for the presence of angels besides you. GOD always provide helping hand. HE SO LOVE THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON JESUS CHRIST TO SAVE US. HE is always by our side as if the tourch that guide my footage.

被遗弃的小孩

这个世界就是这样
每个人都在为着这个世界忙碌
每个角落都充满着危机
时时刻刻都必须提高警惕
酱才能够生存下去

被遗弃的小孩
常常被世人讨厌
常常被认为一无是处
常常被人遗忘

被遗弃的小孩
常常独自坐在一旁
看着身边的所有人
一群一群的
一班一班的
而自己永远只有一个人

被遗弃的小孩
常常所说过的话
下一秒钟
就好像他没说过话一样
更不用说是提出求助了

在这么丑陋的世界里
被遗弃的小孩
已经一天一天的在成长
靠着自己的毅力
靠着自己一点点的力量
靠着自己小小的勇气
硬着头皮
生存下去
哪怕是到死去的那一天
也还是被遗忘的
但至少
他尝试过。。。

Please Do Sth!!!!

I've read this news article reporting on the natural disaster that hit Myanmar few days ago (i suppose). It was horrible!!!! People live without home, without food, without proper drinkin water etc etc. The most disasterous part is the super hot climate as we are having right now in Malaysia. Imagine -- You live in a place without shelter, starving and thirsty. I don't dare to even think and put myself in that kind of situation. It was horrible!!!

I feel like my heart are torned apart when i see all those picture on those youngster walking on the streets, begging for food from the drivers who drove pass them....queueing up for just a small scope of rice and water....a house which is no longer consider a house anymore (which had been blown away) etc etc. I feel so bad!!!! I feel like i need to do something. Thank GOD that there's UN in this world where they are acting in the front line. But, their help had been blocked by Myanmar government where they kept all the food (about 3 million tons if not mistaken) which had been sent in by UN without giving it to those people in need!!! Coz Myanmar had not yet been opened yet, especially to those US army plane which just wanted to deliver those needs into the country.

Please.....Let us do sth!!! At least i do, i'm going to find out the ways which i could help instead of just sitting here reading the newspaper article reporting the death count everyday. Even if i'm not helping them directly, but I'LL DEFINITELY DO STH!!! Money is useless here.... GOD please lead me the way! I'm ready to help!!!!

Night Mare

It had been a horrible night for me last nite, rushing for assignment of course plus insomnia. My whole body was so exhausted when i get on my bed but when i closed my eyes my vision start to flash back what i've done in the daytime. I found it so hard to get into sleep. Though in the end i still manage to get into sleep, now that i've got a dream, a night mare i should say. It's a night mare for me and this morning when i wake up i feel like i've never slept before.

Let me shout out here what my dream is all about. I had no idea why i got into the hearing somemore it's my best friend's hearing. In the hearing when i heard the judges was debating on the case, i started to cry and keep on repeating the phrase 'how can this happen to u....this is not true....he was been set up!!!!' I feel so bad so bad so bad. I had no idea how he got into this type of situation. When the hearing come to the half time, we of course gather outside sitting in the waiting hall (i suppose) where i try to comfort him. He seems to be calmer than usual while i'm trying my best not to burst into tears. I feel wanted to give him a hug to let him knew that i'm right by his side. But i cannot do that!!! All i can do is just holding his hand and trying not to mention anything about the case and trying to talk about those nonsense which i'm experting at. At that moment, there were blood dripping inside from my heart, i can feel the pain at the chain area. This was so tough trying so hard to hold the tears back inside my body where it's suppose to come out until my whole body was shaking badly.

Though the dream sound normal to you and it might make you confused on what's the real thing happening in there. Let me tell you, i had no idea what is happening inside as well. When i got up from my bed i feel like there's a heavy burden been laid on my chest and i feel so so bad. Than i start to wondering, what if the hearing is real? What if this is the real thing that happen to that friend of mine? What am i suppose to do? How should i help instead of crying and sitting beside him? What if i do hug him, will he feel better?

I feel like i'm goin to lose that one important person in my life. I just feel so bad until i had the urge to see him to check whether he is ok or not. I do hope he is ok. Pls.....tell me that you are ok.....Pls....show me that you are ok.....Pls....don't leave me alone!!!

童话故事

今天又一个人跟我说
‘女生自己的幸福是自己争取的，
童话故事里面王子来救公主的情景已经不会再有了！’
这句话她不是第一个人跟我说了
我可以说是听了上百遍了

但
真的有这么容易吗？
要讲出来就真的可以讲出来吗？
今天她说了一个重点
‘当你知道那个人是对的人时
你自己会知道的！’
她好像讲到很神也
有酱容易吗？

在我的字典里面
男人=视觉的动物、不懂得珍惜女生对他们所做的。
而且
就会有一个chemical equation产生：
男生+女生= 逃避责任&装傻

我真的很谢谢你提醒我这么多
我觉得
没有结果的事就不用花时间去做
因为
到头来，伤心痛苦只有自己一人独自承受
那又何苦呢？

MISS

This pic grab from my bro-in-law's blog. I cannot tahan liao i must post my shout out here.

Cute ler!!!! This is my dearly beloved niece and nephew. I miss them so so so so much!!! It had been 3 months since the last time i saw them face to face (video call doesn't count ok, since i do say FACE TO FACE). I think she might had forgotten me. And i haven seen my dearly currently 2 months old nephew. Whenever i see this pic, my eyes is so watery. I feel wanted to touch Jocelyn's face and wanted to carry Nathan on my hand. I want to do this so badly, but i cant do it via the pic or video call. I miss them so so much. I'm wondering whether Jocelyn will still remember me or not, whether Nathan will let me carry him or not. I wanted to hug them so badly!!! I miss them so so so much!!!

Maybe i should say i'm currently suffering from home sickness which i had not been suffering since dunno when. I had no idea what or who make me feel this way. I can't control this. This doesn't mean that i've met someone bad or met something bad, this home sickness just come to me and i had no idea how to control it. My eyes is watery again, probably i'll need to wipe it out with tissue. Haha....

休息是为了走更长远的路

今天1/5-劳动节！虽然这一天全世界都放假，只有我们这班有那GEN3030的人要回去LAB。原本很扫兴的，但今早去BODYBALANCE时看见Yvette在这一天还来教就觉得...好啦，我不是全世界最可怜的那一个啦。今天虽然有LAB但说真的我真的还蛮轻松的。就觉得今天真的有休息到咯！我好久都没有过这么轻松的生活了也，我已经想不起上一次我轻松的时候是什么时候了。今天出游的组合真的是百年一见也，真的蛮好玩的说。不知道为什么，就觉得很轻松很自在。或许是我在这个组合里令我产生了化学作用吧！我好久都没有这么轻松自在的出游了。因为心机很重加上有严重的想太多的我常常与大队出游总觉得处处人心险恶，好像每个人都不是真心在对待每个人一样，处处都充满虚假。（我是不是很严重啊？）我已经常常被人骂了也，但我就是觉得，不可能有这么好康的是啊！你对我好一定另有目的吧，不然干嘛你对我那么好啊？不要管我啦，如果你也被我影响，对不起！我不是故意的！因为我就是这种人。通常像我这种人应该都已经像张国荣一样得忧郁症自杀了吧，偏偏我就是那个少数的悲观+乐观混在一起的人。哈哈！！！

现在已经是2/5的凌晨1.15咯！而我还充满活力的坐在电脑前面po我的网梽，还真希望这份活力可以持续到我做完我的essay，这份东西我真的拖了很久的说。一定要赶完了啦，不然我的大考就没时间了啦！好啦！废话不多说，做...功...课！！！

Laneige

Currently, my family had been crazy about this korea skin care and cosmetic product. It's not the first time for us to use this product. Mum had bought us the balancing emulsion and the water sleepin pack for each of us and also she had purposely buy one whole set which include the water bank cream just for me! And which i had treated as my precious and do not really used it. But currently, i'm using it as long as i can remember it. Seriously, the product is quite suitable for us. Most of us use the water bank line, after you use you can feel that your face is so smooth and bouncy and juicy. Trust me!

Another reason that make us crazy bout this product currently is the bag given which was gorgeous!!! And the attractive samples of course. But, if we join member at this period, there will had extra gift as well. That's the main reason why we are crazy. But than, i'm kindda soft hearted la. I din ask much extra sample from the promoter. So i decided to go and ask from her again probably this few days. As long as she give me one sample, i'll be happy with it. And i swear i wont buy in Sunway Pyramid anymore. I'd rather go all the way down to Pavillion KL to buy where the promoter there give my sis whole bunch of sample. I'm not kidding. It's seriously WHOLE BUNCH!!!!

单身爸爸恋爱中

我又看完一部韩剧了！这次，当然又是吴志浩演的咯。其实是我在杂志不小心看到的，而且又是我喜欢的吴志浩演的，我又怎么能错过呢？剧情顾名思义当然就是在讲述一个单身爸爸自己一个人父兼母职的把被妈妈抛弃的儿子养大。刚开始看时我还真的是满讨厌他妈妈的说，但渐渐到后面也发现其实她也撑到很辛苦，为了理想就是要付出代价的。那个爸爸，当然更是没话说了，处处都为儿子着想，就算是自己不够吃了也要让儿子吃饱。看完这部剧，就觉得这个世界好灰暗、心情好地落、眼睛整个是哭到肿了也。难道好人都不能好好生活下去吗？难道这个世界每个人都要这么现实吗？难道就没有好人的存在吗？....

算了，不要再想了。我发现我真的入戏太深，到现在一个小时后的我还是觉得心情很低落。好想发泄出来，但...原来...我只有一个人。发泄个屁啊！睡觉去吧，这就是我唯一可以发泄的地方。

又来了

生活开始平淡了
头脑开始清楚了
眼睛变得明亮了
又再一次看见了
又再一次讨厌了
又再一次感觉到不安了

我这种人
不要对我好
不要对我笑
我只会觉得
你是不是吃错药啊？

一旦我感觉到你对我的不同
心里就会有种不安的感觉
开始怀疑
你是真的对我好吗？
你是出于真心的吗？
你是在敷衍我吗？
你是觉得我还小不懂事吗？
你是觉得我好欺负吗？

或许你会说我真的想太多
我也希望我是
但
这种感觉一直都在
我以为我可以忘记
原来我做不到

不要对我好
我不想让你们受伤害
因为我不晓得怎样对你好

我到了！

终于隐隐约约看见那小旗子了
那小旗子在风的推动下
很用力的在挥舞着
迎接我的到来
好像在说
“加油，王新娣！’

从终点传来的欢呼声也越来越大
虽然好多人已经超越我
拿到冠军了
还在努力跑向终点的我
一定不会让那些为我加油鼓励的人失望
哪怕只剩下最后一口气
我也要把它撑下去

我不行了

我不行了
真的不行了
我真的已经尽力了
我真的只有那么好了

为什么我做什么事往往都比别人慢
为什么我用了200%的努力做出来的东西
到头来只得到那么多
为什么我的头脑不比别人聪明
为什么我什么都不会
为什么我就是这么笨
为什么我会这样没有用

最后一次的冲刺
原来是这么痛苦的
难道真的需要这么苦才可以尝到甜吗
难道我做了这么多都没有人感觉到吗

我真得不行了
真的。。。真的。。。不行了

这一切可以就这样结束吗
这一切可以就这样不了了之吗
这一切的一切
我真的不想再面对

我真的不行了。。。

Who is this 'Man'

AHHAAHHAAHHAA......Let me proudly introduce -- the 'Man' -- KUMIKO!!!!

Hahaha.....Kumiki aka ME la!!!

Well, all these are not my point. My point is -- Do i look MAN???
Wahahaha.....i so like to call myself MAN instead of pretty or beautiful or watever word you'd like to use on a gals.
This glasses is from Forever21 with only 35 bucks!!!!
I cant wait to wear it and walk on the road.
But i think most of the ppl will stare at me coz lookin like a pervert!!!
WWWWWUUUUUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

P.S: Pls ignore this blog if u feel uncomfortable coz d writer had been currently undergoin too much stress and had been started to talk without thinking.

Challenge....Tough

I cannot remember when is the last time for me to have enough rest and total relaxation (only in bodybalance i suppose). All the cells in my body are in the intense and stress state.

I'm so so so exhausted. I'm the light bulb that does not glow due to power shortage.

I'm so so so depressed. Why am i so stupid??? Why cant i do things well???

I'm so so so tired, why cant i do things faster? Everyone in this world had 24 hours, but it seems to be never enough for me. GOD is fair and square, HE did not give extra time to anyone. Why it always seems not enough for me???

I'm so so so down. At this peak of time, i dun dare tell my family what am i currently suffering at. I dun want to let them worried bout me. There's nothing in this world can lighten up my spirit. Jocelyn do.

Can i drop off on whatever i'm doing now??? (Since i cant do anything well)
Can i just fly back without thinkin of any consequences??? (Since no1 will aware of my appearance)
Can i give up and just help my parents up??? (Since they need me)
Can i just kill myself and ended up everything??? (Since i'm suffering)
Can i just............

In conclusion.........i'm usesless, stupid, foolish.

FIGHTING!!!!

This semester will be my last semester in Monash. It's kindda amazing how i manage to make it in the past 2 years. Maybe this will be the end of my life here, i'm having difficulty to gather up my energy to do my work and fight for this last semester. Also for me to attend the lectures as well.

There's one subject of mine which will have different lecturers come in to teach us on different topic. There's one topic teach by our Head of School of Science - Professor Pua EC, everyone call him Pro Pua. He is the only lecture or any teacher whom had teach me in my life which i admire most and also which i seriously listen most. His brain is like full of knowledge. When he's giving out lecture, he's like too much to tell you and he just can't stop talking about those research which he had done and stuff like that. He like travel through the whole universe to teach, attending conference and to work etc etc. He was graduated in somewhere in US, sometimes heard him mention bout University of California; he had been teaching in NUS; and now Head of School of Science. He even had his own journal published!!! Sometimes he tell us bout when he had done his research, it was like 21 years ago, which is the year when i was born!!! Ridiculous!!!

OK...all this is not my main point, of coz Professor must have something. But what i want to say is the way he is. We'll usually think that those who had high position in one company or whatever place will be so proud of themselve and tend to be too proud of themselve until they will look down on those who are not the same level as them. Agree??? But Prop Pua is totally different kind. By the first day i went in to his lecture, of coz he can delivered the lecture so well and also full of knowledge, i also found that HE IS A GENTLEMAN!!! Not because he is good looking only i say that ok (though he can considered to be the most good looking lecturer i've ever had but he can be my father!); when we finish class, and he go open the door wanted to go out from the room, when he saw us who standing behind him awaiting him from walking out of the room (where normally we won't dare to walk in front of the lecturer rite?)....can u guess what he do as a Professor? He stand beside the room, holding back the door for us n let us go out first instead of he walk out himself first. He din do this for once only ok, he did this for every time when he had finish lecture. OKOK!!! Got other incident as well. There's one day as usual he's talking in front, suddenly he say he don't like to have lecture at 5pm coz all of us will be hungry. WOW!!! How bout him than? He do even concern bout us!!! Than he say next time he'll try and bring biscuit. Though i knew that he was joking but my heart seriously melt a bit when i heard those words. Where on earth can you find another lecturer whom will concerned you this much??? Those lecturer will only care whether you listen to him/her. And...And....there's another 1!!! There's one day, same as usual, late evening class, it was raining super heavily, when he ended his lecture, he ask us whether we do bring umbrella or not. YER!!! Where on earth can you find this kind of lecturer??? This kind of people already extinct ok!!!

Now, i'm so so so so so so so sad to announce that i'll will no longer see him again. Coz last Friday was his last lectures to us. I feel kindda like want to talk to him you know when he left. But i don't know what to talk about....though he do say if we wanted to know more can go to his office and talk to his nice MALE secretary (which he seriously emphasize on d word MALE) before we can approach him. HAHAHAHA!!! N he do say that all those things that he teach was not difficult but we better don't accumulate it until the exam comes. This words seriously plant inside my heart.

So from now onwards, i'm trying so hard to gather up my energy to manage my time and do my work. AZA AZA FIGHTING!!!! I must do it!!!

3月=星光月

3月份真的是星光灿烂的一个月啊！在这一个月里，我竟然可以亲眼目睹了星光帮们的实力。我从来都没有追星追到这种程度。哈哈！！！

就从12/3开始吧！这天是星光四少和鸭子来马宣传他们15/3在云顶的演唱会。当然，我有去那场签唱会啦！看见他们本人，其实就和电视上看到的一样。他们如果不是因为参加星光大道，他们走在路上只会是平凡到不能再平凡的普通人。而且，他们真的是一点也没有明星的架子。尤其是周定纬和许仁杰，他们好好笑哦！我好喜欢他们（虽然之前我是喜欢潘裕文的），尤其是周定纬。哈哈！！！


１５／３：这天就是星光传奇云顶演唱会啦！我等待的日子终于来临了。这场演唱会是我一生人当中去看的第二场演唱会（第一场美好的回忆献给了Ｂａｃｋｓｔｒｅｅｔｂｏｙｓ了）。这场演唱会真的是超赞的说，而且是我第一次大老远飞上云顶（虽然我去过云顶）就特地为了这场演唱会也。这场演唱会让我真的是见识到星光帮们的实力，他们真的不是做个样子罢了，他们真的是有料的。而且，这场演唱会我们也把潘裕文弄哭了。真的好谢谢爸爸帮我换这么便宜又前面的票！哈哈！！！


２７／３：这天是鸽王－杨宗纬到马宣传的日子。这个星期我放假也，怎么可能错过呢！这场真的是爆满也！人好多好多哦！真的好替宗伟高兴也。他努力了这么久，终于有他自己的成绩了！宗纬的现场唱功真的是无话可说，真的很有感染力。虽然我站得有点远啦，但还是可以看见宗纬的啦。上台看见他，真的觉得他的脸好苦哦，虽然他是都是笑脸迎人的。而且，在他来马宣传时，台湾那里就有一些对他伤害很大的报道。当他听到前面的那些鸽子们的加油声后，数度哽咽得说不出话来。可想而知，那些报道上了他多深呀。在场的我真的觉得好心痛，真的很不想看到他哭了。他在星光大道哭够了，出来了真的好不想再看见他哭了。在这里，真的是要很用力的对他说一声‘加油！！！’

30/3：这天是星光月的最后一天，也是我去看小美卢学睿的日子。在去看小美的前一夜，其实我只睡了四个小时。就是因为第二天要交的功课咯，害我一整天人一直处于亢奋状态。这天小美的场子，同样是在金河广场，但场子很明显安静了许多。不过，到大家看到小美出来时，还是给于最热烈的尖叫声啦！我当然也不列外咯！这次看见小美真的觉得他好靠近我哦！好高兴哦！小美真的好好好好笑哦！真的好好好好好幽默哦！在我上台给他签名时我问他‘新的手机号用吗？’（因为在他的网梽里他写到说卢爸爸买了新手机给他呀！）在他签好我的cd后，他就抬头用有一点惊讶的脸看着我然后回答用很小美的语气回答‘好用！！！’之后就是一场很小美式的大笑！哈哈！！！现在回想起来都觉得好笑。然后啊，站我后面的朋友说啊，在我走后小美说我‘好酷哦！’哈哈！！！说实话，还蛮爽的。


（小美的照片是我用我的宝贝N73拍的哦！）

这么精彩的一个月，真的很让我难忘。尤其看见每一位星光成员为着自己的梦想努力着，不惜一切代价，为的就是要做他们爱做的事--唱歌。这点真的很令我感动，突然觉得我好羡慕他们有自己的梦想。我的梦想又是什么呢？看见宗纬所受的委屈，难道好人就一定要被欺负吗？看见小美的活泼，顿时给我很多的力量，就像小美说的‘我一定会常常开心的！’这句话，我还真的是不敢这么有信心地讲出来。谢谢小美，谢谢你让我知道不管晴天或雨天，都要把笑容带在脸上，把欢乐带到这个黑暗的世界。

Happy Easter Holiday

It's holiday time!!! YEAH!!! But this holiday, i need to attend my food micro lab. Means while the whole other monash student are having holiday, we those who take food micro was need to go into the lab. And the most important thing is that, we need to go from Monday-Friday!!! GOSH....what the H****!!! If you give me a lot of work during this holiday, i wont complaint this much. But you want me to stay here in Monash and sacrifice my holiday to fly back to Bintulu, i'm seriously gettin mad. But what to do, since this is my last semester as well. Hai....kesian me. Cannot go back to see the new born baby. Cannot go back to meet my dear dear Jocelyn. Cannot go back to watch Astro.....Hahaha!!!

Well, for me, my holiday start last Thursday, that's the muslim day. The holiday spirit was raise up to the highest peak yesterday and which cause me to sleep late this morning and will be a real terrible things to do coz i'm having my one and only lab session (Thanks 'her' 4 waking me up in the morning). Though this few days i'm having flu and cough until i feel like cutting out my throat, but i do not feel that i'm sick (though my roomate say my voice is so 'sexy' haha!!!). Thank GOD for that. This few days i feel so energetic. Of coz with 'her' 'playin' around with me. I dunno how 'she' feel bout that, but i seriously feel so relax and do not feel like i need to take care of what i have to say. I can just scold anyone or anything just in fron of 'her' and can talk whatever i want. I think maybe 'she' feel i'm such a 'lo so' person. Hahaha!!!

Erm, my conclusion is, i'm having holiday now....but with lab session everyday. And, i'm sick. HAHAHAHA!!!! (Have you ever see anyone sick but this energetic???)

星光传奇云顶演唱会

超赞的一场演唱会！！！在现场的我们都可以感受到星光们的努力，他们真的不是那种靠脸蛋吃饭的艺人。他们真的是很用力的在突破自己，一直挑战自己。看完演唱会回来的我，真的被他们的努力所感动，因而提醒着我-是时候做功课了。原本想把我拍的影片放上来的，但格式不同所以不行。
没关系，我就po照片吧！

茱定rain

潘王子

潘王子哭了，谢谢宥嘉代我们鼓励

小胖老师带领星光们忆马爷

最后一首歌（臭美的说一句：茱定rain一直往我的方向看！）
是真的！！！不知道是不是我和我朋友两人喊得太疯狂了，定纬唱每一首歌都会走到我们那个方向来。还不知这样哦，他还会回应我的手势哦！就是如果我比peace的话，他会用peace手势指向我们这个方向。哈哈！！！初初我还以为不可能看我啦，因为在我们前面太多那些专业的歌迷了（有灯牌的）。怎知我的朋友也是觉得他好想再看我们也。有第二个人的认知，我想我应该不会错了啦。哈哈！！！

这个影片是安可部分，也是全场最high的。很可惜的是，po这个影片的人是宥嘉的粉丝，所以整个影片只会看到宥嘉。我在这里是根本就是high到站在椅子上跳！重点是，我的椅子是不平衡的，所以我在跳的时候椅子也在晃。现在回想起来，还真的是蛮危险的说。哈哈！！！反正high嘛，而且搞不好这就是最后一次星光们能聚在一起，一起唱歌跳舞了。所以，我真得很珍惜。谢谢爸爸帮我换的票！！！哈哈！！！

说不出来的话

不知道你会不会有这种感觉，就是往往有很多的话想说，但总是说不出口。这些话多数都是一些很私人的心里话。或许在读着这篇文章的你从来都没有体会过这种感觉，又或许你从来都不认为把所有的话说出来是一件很难的事。就像我之前有讲过的，人与人之间的沟通里有80%是谎言。所以，对我来说，很多话还是把它藏起来好。这样就不会有人受伤，也不会有人觉得痛。

但有时候自己神经很大条的时候，根本就不会想这么多。喜欢讲什么就讲什么，管他/她喜不喜欢听。就因为这样，神经一向来都很粗的我常常会不知不觉得罪很多人。有时候甚至严重到自己都没发现，其实自己在外面的仇家还蛮多的，而且还多到数不完。

这个年头，不知道是不是因为我的万能胃太久没做工了，所以我有点处于消化不良的状态。没关系！！！现在是‘食物中毒’期间，会比较辛苦一点啦，时间长了自然就会适应了。我的宝贝胃，你是时候做工咯，不可以懒惰咯，要加油咯，不然就是害人咯！！！

My new heels

Hahaha.....this afternoon when i went for a walk at pyramid 2 asian avenue, than my target is to buy heels. Actually on the day when i went for Backstreetboys concert, i do see one heels which i like so much and somemore it got 30% discount with the price of RM49.90 only. Means after discount will be RM34.97. Than i thought since i'm going to a concert so it will not be quite comfortable for me to take a shopping bag with me all the way to the concert. So i plan to come and take it the next day. WHO KNOWS!!! The heels had been SOLD the next day when i went. I seriously was a bit sad when i din see the heels which i was about to buy the day before.

But now think back, COOL!!!! It's good that i din buy tat one. I only spend RM65 for this two elegant looking heels. I so so so love both of this heels. Wahahaha

A testimony of recovering from rehab

This is the video which i accidentally saw from youtube whereby AJ McLean from the Backstreetboys talking about his rehab in Oprah show. I was so touched and it do wake me up a bit. Their spirit and the unbreakable bond between each and everyone of them was so tough. I'm so impressed bout that coz i do not know the feeling of having that kind of bonding in my daily social life.

Go to youtube to watch the other part of the show urself. This is the part which touched me most.

不喜欢的感觉

四个月后重新出发的我感觉不一样
果然 充电后电力会比较充足
但似乎懒散的习惯还是挥不走

从新回到岗位的我 再次面对所有熟悉的环境
这种感觉 我喜欢
但
这种感觉 也让我恐惧
经常对自己即将面对的挑战感到恐惧
所以 经常只把半颗头探出来然后又缩回去自己的壳里

所有的东西 感觉很不真实
所有的东西 好像不是我应该得到的
所有的东西 都好虚假
所有的事情 好像不应该发生
所有的事情 不应该会那么顺利吧
所有的事情 背后应该都有目的吧

经常听着Backstreetboys的Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely
心理常常都会不自觉地回答他们 I can show you that
这就是 Something that I already know

人际关系对我来说 就像数学题一样
虚假的成分 = 80%
真实的成分 = 20%

友谊对我来说 也不过是另外一题数学题
真诚 = 30%
付出 = 10%
谎言 = 30%
虚假 = 30%

我这种人 应该不可能会结婚吧
哈哈 没关系

有主的陪伴 我不必再回应The meaning of lonely
有主的陪伴 我对我所有的一切感恩
有主的陪伴 我活出我自己
有主的陪伴 明天会更好
Jesus Thankyou for loving me

后记：Thankyou Brian so so much for waking me up on my path in following Jesus.
Thankyou for waking up my life.

BACKSTREETBOYS UNBREAKABLE SHOWCASE

AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH......it was a superb night here in sunway surf beach on 27/2 whereby i'm in Backstreeboys Unbreakable concert!!! They are gorgeous!!! Actually it was raining right before the showcase started. I was kindda like get ready to get wet and stand in the rain. And it was at that time i meet one group of ppl which consist of 1 aunty n her daughter and her daughter's friend. That aunty was so nice, she saw me alone than she ask me to join them. So, i've got frens!!! Haha....than it was because of that aunty i can stand in shed area to avoid the rain and whereby all the organiser people were kindda black in their face coz they ask us to wait in the car park. Than the aunty said ' Do u want us to run back again in the rain just to get back in the carpark??? We r not goin anywhere. ' WOW!!!! Gorgeous man!!! So, we whole gang are the first to get in!!!! Even earlier than vIP can u imagine that!!!! AAAARRRRGGGHHH...and i'm seriously so much closer to the stage (although there was the vIP area right in front of me) that i can see everyone of their face so clearly.....especially Brian and AJ!!!!! I lov them so so so so so much!!!! AAAARRRRGGGHHHH.....i still cannot manage to calm down my passionate love onto them.....

I LOv BACKSTREETBOYS 4EvA!!!!!!

Backstreetboys here in Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach

I accidentally found Backstreetboys's concert promo poster stick on one of the notice in my uni. And then only i found out that they will be having concert here in Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach and the ticket is only RM88!!!!! And the fortunate thing is that i found out this thing just on time, coz the concert is tomorrow!!!! Can you believe it....it's just that luck that i'm having. Means i must go for this concert no matter what. Wahahaha..... So i'm prepared and get ready for tomorrow's showcase....YES....YES!!!!

And....the most important things i wanted to shout out really loud here is that.....this afternoon when we was walking in pyramid to had our lunch, i accidentally saw Nick Carter and Howie D walkin right passed me!!!!!!! IT'S TRUE!!! I'm not kidding!!!! Both of them....of coz followed by at least 5 people around them.....just walk passed me just like that!!!! I was so so so so so so surprise that i do not know how to react when i seriously saw them walk pass me whereby i get numb and just stand there watch them go!!!! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH....I AM STUPID LA!!!!! Now i'm so so so so regret to just let them pass like that.....at least i called their names.....at least....better than nothing!!!!! AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH...... I cant believe it myself either.

This is the first time ever i seen one super star just walk passed me.....we are so close!!!! I am so so so so so so stupid!!!!! But no matter what, i'll definitely see them tomorrow night. Hopefully at least i can still see them la....hopefully....coz it's a free standing concert.....STANDING ler!!!! I must prepare myself for that.

那最初的心還在嗎?

有個老魔鬼看到人間的生活過得太幸福了，他說：「我們要去擾亂一下，要不然魔鬼就不存在了。」

他先派了一個小魔鬼去擾亂一個農夫。因為他看到那農夫每天辛勤地工作，可是所得卻少得可憐，但他還是那麼快樂，非常知足。
小魔鬼就開始想，要怎樣才能把農夫變壞呢？他就把農夫的田地變得很硬，讓農夫知難而退。
那農夫敲半天，做得好辛苦，但他只是休息一下，還是繼續敲，沒有一點抱怨。小魔鬼看到計策失敗，只好摸摸鼻子回去了。
老魔鬼又派了第二個去。第二個小魔鬼想，既然讓他更加辛苦也沒有用，那就拿走他所擁有的東西吧！
那小魔鬼就把他午餐的麵包跟水偷走，他想，農夫做得那麼辛苦，又累又餓，卻連麵包跟水都不見了，這下子他一定會暴跳如雷！
農夫又渴又餓地到樹下休息，想不到麵包跟水都不見了！「不曉得是哪個可憐的人比我更需要那塊麵包跟水？
如果這些東西就能讓他得溫飽的話，那就好了。」又失敗了，小魔鬼又棄甲而逃。

老魔鬼覺得奇怪，難道沒有任何辦法能使這農夫變壞？就在這時第三個小魔鬼出來了。
他對老魔鬼講：「我有辦法，一定能把他變壞。」
小魔鬼先去跟農夫做朋友，農夫很高興地和他作了朋友。因為魔鬼有預知的能力，他就告訴農夫，明年會有乾旱，教農夫把稻種在濕地上，農夫便照做。結果第二年別人沒有收成，只有農夫的收成滿坑滿谷，他就因此而富裕起來了。
小魔鬼又每年都對農夫說當年適合種什麼，三年下來，這農夫就變得非常富有。

他又教農夫把米拿去釀酒販賣，賺取更多的錢。慢慢地，農夫開始不工作了，靠著經濟販賣的方式，就能獲得大量金錢。

有一天，老魔鬼來了，小魔鬼就告訴老魔鬼說：「您看！我現在要展現我的成果。這農夫現在已經有豬的血液了。」只見農夫辦了個晚宴，所有富有的人都來參加；喝最好的酒，吃最精美的餐點，還有好多的僕人侍候。他們非常浪費地吃喝，衣裳零亂，醉得不省人事，開始變得像豬一樣癡肥愚蠢。
「您還會看到他身上有著狼的血液。」小魔鬼又說。這時，一個僕人端著葡萄酒出來，不小心跌了一跤。
農夫就開始罵他：「你做事這麼不小心！」「唉！主人，我們到現在都沒有吃飯，餓得渾身無力。」
「事情沒有做完，你們怎麼可以吃飯！」
老魔鬼見了，高興地對小魔鬼說：「唉！你太了不起！你是怎麼辦到的？」
小魔鬼說：「我只不過是讓他擁有比他需要的更多而已，這樣就可以引發他人性中的貪婪。」

心若改變，你的態度跟著改變；
態度改變，你的習慣跟著改變；
習慣改變，你的性格跟著改變；
性格改變，你的人生跟著改變。

這篇文章分享給每一個在為夢想努力奮鬥的你，提醒我們在努力追求夢想的同時，
千萬不要忘了最初的本心。

The Half Blood Prince

I've just finish reading the 6th book of the Harry Potter series -- The Half Blood Prince. And after finishing it, my heart sink an inch deeper. The ending was the one which i had never been expected. But i think most of the Harry Potter's fans will never expected that tragic ending of it. Till now i still cant really accept that horrific tragedy which had happen. I don't believe it until there's a tomb.

Half way through the book, where Professor Dumbledore was having secret lessons with Harry, i seriously had the same feeling as what Harry did whereby all the things that Professor show him seems meaningless. Only towards the end, i realise that everything was so much linked together. Everything started even before Harry Potter was present on the wizarding world. Professor Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard in the wizarding world, whom even the Darkest wizard -- Lord Voldermont had been afraid of. From the first book till now which i've reach, i do respect Professor Dumbledore so so much and feel so impressed with his clear mind and those perfect decision which he had always made to keep everything under control. But people do make mistakes. He will had never thought of getting himself killed by one of his colleague whom he trusted most. Of course, we reader will had never thought of that. Even personally, i think he wasn't as bad as Harry had always describe him. I think he had just been very strict to students since Harry din do well in his Potions class as well. Besides, i've never been expecting him to be the owner of the Advanced-Potion-Making book which was the property of the Half Blood Prince.

Whatever it goes, that already is the fact. No one can ever change that since it was made that way. All we can do is to accept it. But i still feel very depressed as if i've known Professor Dumbledore as well. I've even imagine that i'm at the funeral that day. I cant imagine how miserable it will be in the next book without the most powerful wizard's protect.

星光来了....星光来了....

太好了....星光来了...应该是说星光又来了!!!而且这次是来开唱哦. 这次我不管风吹雨打都要上山给他加油去. 最近的我在烦恼怎样说服我爸要他帮我用他的积分来换票. 这次我要换VIP的票, 不管他多贵了. 或许我以后再也没机会看演唱会了, 谁叫我要毕业了啊.

我一定要去!!!!

Believe it or not

It's a brand new year now, 2008. Mostly during end of the year, most of the horoscope will post some articles on predicting the fate of every horoscope. Of course, i'll be one of those people that will read those predictive article. Sometimes as a Christian, we shouldn't be believing all these predictive things other than those mention in the Bible. But it's just too closed to the real life that we are having. Now since year 2008 had passed for 17 days, i can seriously see that the prediction on my horoscope--Cancer had gone true!!! Believe it or not. There's one part of it say: "...今年巨蟹在表達溝通上稍有欠缺，個人的想法沒有及時和他人進行交流，至使相關工作不能較快開展，只要消除溝通方面的嫌隙，今年還是會大有斬獲的。" Well, this might sounds normal and not big deal, but i had seriously facing this problem. Mostly i wont reject other people's request directy no matter on the phone or in person, and this time....maybe i should say last night, i've rejected one phone call from one of my friends (though not those super closed 1) so harsh that after i hung up the phone i feel guilty. I'd seriously wanted to apologize to him coz i seriously don't know how to speak so i'm just telling you all the truth. I just don't know how to put it in beautiful words. So i guess that's one of the reasons why i'm not so welcome in a community (of course there's so much more reasons i believe). Never mind, i just want to be truth. The world now had been so fake that it's hard for people to accept the truth. I don't like that. I want Truth everywhere!!! Pray hard for that!!!

星光帮

其实星光帮这个名词对我来说一点都不陌生,因前不久前力宏来过没多久他们也来宣传.初初真的对星光帮这个团体不是很了解,因为都没追"超级星光大道'啊.在外读书的时候哪能每天上网看这些啊,做功课都来不极了啦,加上学校的线路也真是有限公司的.现在放假回来过着闲人的生活,什么电视节目都看.

其实"超级星光大道'是有一晚我不小心看到的.我记得我看的是和艺人合唱的那一集,是鸭子被淘汰的.初初开始看就觉得不过是个唱歌比赛嘛,但慢慢追下去才发现这个节目不是单纯的残酷的歌唱比赛节目.这个节目唯一不同于平时的歌唱节目是,它多了人情味.每位参赛者都尽全力的在挑战自己,当然说了是比赛那当然会有人被淘汰.在电视机前面看着这个节目的我,也被他们每位参赛者的热诚感动到泣不成声.看见他们的真情流露,我真的很佩服他们的坚持和勇气.尤其是我最喜欢的杨宗纬退出星光大道那一集,我真的是哭成泪人.或许会有人骂他活该,但在看的我一边哭一边给他全世界最用力的掌声.自己看看吧!

除了他们的认真,我也被他们的那真挚的友谊感动.在这个影片可以看到杨宗纬的好友-潘裕文(也是我喜欢的)已经崩溃了.我每次都在想,如过有一天是我要离开,会不会有一个人像潘裕文一样为我哭得不能自己.我想应该没有吧!!!我的眼泪永远都只有往肚里吞,不管多艰难的事还是得自己去面对.我永远都是一个人!!!杨宗纬...潘裕文...加油!!!(虽然你们现在已经很不错了)祝你们的友谊永远都是那么的浓郁...一定要好好珍惜!!!加油!!!

第一个感觉

人啊,有一个很大的毛病就是犹豫不决.就像平时逛街的我,明明很喜欢那一样东西了但总觉得别家店的应该会比较好或比较便宜.女人嘛,只要是便宜个一毛钱我们也会觉得自己做了很明智的选择.而我呢,就是因为这样,所以常常错失了自己真正喜欢的东西.我常常会讲说"等我回家做梦,如果我梦见那样东西的话,我一定二话不说就回来把它买回去.'自以为很聪明的我还以为那样东西会在原地不动的等我把它带回家,而没有想过在我放弃它的下一刻就有另一个人看上它并毫无考虑的把它带回家.

买东西是这样,那人于人又是怎样呢?东西买不到,只能回家在那忏悔.严重的话就是每一次逛街,只要看到相关的商品就会不自觉和自己曾经放弃过的商品做比较.总会在那里念着"还是上次那个好'...."还是上次看到的那个漂亮'....到头来才发现,自己第一眼看到的才是最好的.

前不久遇见一位老朋友,我们并没有很多的互动,但那种熟悉的感觉依然还存在着.虽然我们只是很肤浅的问候和闹了几句,很自然的就会有以前我们在一起打打闹闹的画面浮现在脑海里.这个时候才发现,原来我是多么的怀念以前我们曾经相处过的日子.现在大家各忙各的,不用说见面了,就连传简讯(那种FORWARD的)都没有.更残忍的是,现在在我电话的通讯录里没有他的电话号码.说实在的,当我知道会遇见他时,心里还真是有点不知所措的说,AKA兴奋啦.自己很不要脸的就在那想开场白,哈哈!现在回想起来还真是觉得自己真的要颁个08年度花痴奖给自己.在我回家的路上突然有种莫名的失落感.自己开始在那后悔为什么当初没有听姐妹们的--相信自己,对自己要有信心,勇敢一点.如果我真的....那现在的我又会是什么样子?

到现在才知道,原来第一个感觉永远是对的和最好的.放弃了就只能自己一个人独自怀念...姐妹们,加油哦!!!

Breaking New!!!!

There's one shocking news (to me) that i've read from the newspaper today. The shocking news is that the leading actor for Prison Break - Wenthworth Miller (Michael Scolfiel) had a BOYFRIEND!!! I'm not kidding!!! This was such a shocking news to me! I've never thought that such guy like him is a G!!! OMG!!! I still cant accept tat....

韩风再度吹起

前不久刚回来时有追了一部很搞笑的爱情韩剧--幻想情侣.当然看完了这部韩剧,就会很自然的喜欢剧里的主角们,尤其是男女主角.看完这部剧心情起伏没有很大,因为这部剧是轻松的喜剧.当然,还是会有一点点想说的啦.那个女主角会这么恶劣其实是有原因的,她小的时候家人在车祸中丧命了,世上只剩下唯一的亲人-奶奶.奶奶也因为人老了而病逝,从此以后这个世界上就只剩下她自己和家里所遗留的财产.在这样的环境下成长,怎样都会把自己保护的紧紧的吧.在这样的环境下成长的她对自己也欠缺信心,觉得自己没有能力守住自己的感情.这一点的她跟我还蛮像的,总是会把自己的情感埋藏起来,让外人都猜不透我真正想要的是什么.就算对任何人有一点点好感也会觉得那只是我想太多.或许,流过血的那道疤一直都在提醒着我吧.说完女主角,来说说男主角吧.戏里的他一至对他的初恋有所留恋尽管她已是别人的未婚妻了,他还是隋传隋到对她温柔体贴.男人就是这样,我们女生永远不明白他们在打着什么如意算盘.

说完第一部了,就说第二部吧.这部是韩国最新的韩剧哦,7月才出的--刀手吴水晶.我们一家都不是很喜欢剧里的女主角(不是因为她的角色的关系哦!)所以我没放她的照片,一半也是我找不到男女主角一起的照片啦.我妈说那个女主角的脸很不讨人喜欢所一她不想看这部剧.剧里的女主角是典形的势力眼,她已经有一为很爱很爱她甚至步入红地毯的超大个男友.女主角就因为嫌弃他傻傻的什么事都不会又没钱所一在婚礼进行到一半中途逃走,和曾经追求过她的医生飞到美国去,丢下她那又肥有傻的男友.接下来,当然那个肥男减肥了,也成了和老虎五兹平起平坐的高尔夫球手.但脱胎换骨的他回来是有目的的,至于是什么样的目的自己去看吧.这不剧我看了感触比较多.看见男女主角的彼此的痛苦,想爱但又因为很现实的问题没能如愿.好累,好痛苦.人啊,往往总是在失去后才会懂得珍惜.而且最重要的是千万千万不可以对他有所怨恨,不然就会和剧里的男主角一样痛苦.这里是整部剧里我最喜欢的一段.